WAR-Destiny of Future

LV 1

Lee_Hong_Law

This is a good novel to read with some interesting dark elements, the writer gave in a really hard work on this, please support the novel and the writer.

LV 4

ShinSungmi

The synopsis really intrigued me 😂 The writing style of the author is impressive, and so far, I like the plot as well although I haven't caught up to the latest chapters! keep up with the good work!

LV 5

RenuKakkar

This is a nice story. The character design and the world background are excellent. The story is developing well. The stability of updates is going well too. The writing quality is good too. I would suggest that you write shorter paragraphs (Something that was advised to me too) as well as punctuation. For that I wold suggest to run the draft chapter through an online grammar checker before publishing it. All the best!

LV 1

DaoistWTAU5P

Is a good story with a unique and twisted plot, but if could update more frequently, it would be better............ Maybe this writer need some more motivation.....

LV 2

heyitsbluejay

Okay I saw your post about how you want to quit because of lack of views and I have advice what would really help Change The Cover! I get that you want a unique cover but you see everybody judges a book by its cover so when people see the cover is uhmm that there chance of reading it goes from 60% to 10% you have put alot of hard work in your book and so I recommend either putting your cover as the simple one that webnovel gives you or just hire a professional to make one both are good options

LV 11

_Rain

I like your writing style and only have one small thing to say. Maybe you should break your paragraphs like split the conversations into separate sentences . It would be easy to read if you could do that. Other than that, this is really good.

LV 3

ValerieVoyse

It seems a very action-packed story. Some advise I might give you (regarding for example some grammar mistakes) is once you finish writing the book, put it aside for a bit and then edit it, however don't worry about it too much on your first or second draft. Good effort and keep in mind that the more you write and read, the more you grow as a writer. Keep writing! ❤️

LV 5

bikko

Very interesting novel. The author has a good sense of humor, there's a lot of content here, and the writing style is fairly unique. Although a little rough around the edges--especially at the start--the author does improve over time.

LV 3

Zanzo99

This is awesome! The plot is not just evolving with one person but instead it is well distributed at each on of the characters! Hype! I need more chapters :)

LV 3

neonlover_1

Nice story. Characters and world background are excellent. No complaints there. Only I faced some problem with the paragraphs and punctuations . You should probably give some spaces between paragraphs more precisely make them some what small. Other than that no worries. Keep writing and all the best.

LV 4

Young_Christopher

I admire your large number of words per chapter. It is an interesting read and I seem to keep reading and reading till the chapter is done without even noticing the length. Would love if you arranged the dialogue and punctuations better but apart from that this is a Worthy read. I hope I can finish this book.👏

LV 5

CrazyG

I have one word to say! Just WoW The choice of language was awesome, figurative but easy to understand. It's unique and full of mystery.. Good work

LV 3

Supersam362

Interesting start, it's almost reminiscent of a fairy tale. But this is a little darker than one. The plot is interesting just like the characters. The genre is really something I like, this is pretty good from what I've read

LV 4

MaxwellKHA

Ok, what a remarkable effort to write around a hundred chapter in such short amount of time. The story cluster actually fine, but I think it can be made to be better with a proper punctuation. This is actually a comedy story, I agree with that person. Author, I hope you're continuing this work, have a nice day.

LV 5

SAM_Z

The idea is sufficiently interesting. The style of writing is abrupt but it is like a style and is not really a con. I'd suggest you start spreading out the conversations, after one person's dialogue change line for another ones dialogue.

LV 3

MokouFriedChicken

My word.. A remarkable effort. The gigantic walls of text. Might want to break up some of the bigger text blocks for more reading clarity. Can't sometimes understand when one character stops speaking and another one starts. But for all it's faults, it's still an enjoyable read. And clearly you have a lot of plans and stuff left to write. Improvement comes with time, just keep on writing 👍

LV 5

ludo2776

Just a few thoughts after your thread on the forum… You can delete it after reading; my aim isn’t to influence your readers. It’s just that I don’t think of another place to post it, the forum isn't suitable for it. First of all… you didn’t tag your novel as a comedy. If I just read the synopsis, I think it is a comedy, a parody of fantasy. I’m not certain the synopsis is perfectly in alignment with the content of your novel. OK, I’ve read the first chapter… It was pretty difficult. The style is really jerky. It reminds me of a declamation, a spoken speech more than a novel narration. Briefly, if I read it aloud, with the intonations, it’s ok but in my head, it’s hard to clearly understand. On the other hand, the dialogs are good, very life-like. It reminds me of a short theater scene with bad written stage directions. I would have a few remarks on the beginning. Some things are confusing (Kenji Seito or Seito Kenji, what’s the given name?, the friend playing in the water, is it Yuki?, who the hell is that Saburo?, they were two running towards the beach…, (there are many other things like it), not adding honorific when calling someone else isn’t very Japanese like… (Yuki-san, Seito-kun etc.)) There are too many grammatical mistakes. It’s surprising, because the orthography is ok, there aren’t missing words, slip of the pen etc., showing the story was reviewed. You have a big problem with present conjugation of verbs. Over all, you impose too many constraints to yourself. First, you write using present time. It’s more difficult using present than preterit. The author-narrator isn’t part of the story; you just interact with the reader, never with the characters, so preterit is ok (you would eliminate a good third of grammar mistakes, conjugation and time coordination). If I had to describe your style, it reminds me of note taking and audio description for visually impaired people of my tv. Clearly, it’s not a conventional style and it’s very hard to master it. I really love the dialogs, they are very life like. Maybe you are better when writing theater… At the moment, as a reader, the story could have interested me. However I wouldn’t read more of the novel if the writing style goes on like this. An editor isn’t a bad idea. I tried with the first few words, but I’m unable to keep your writing style. example of edition: *On a certain beach in Japan, during summer break, a 17 year-old young man was walking on the sand. His face was good looking, a kind of ‘rich boy look’. The boy was named Kenji, Seito Kenji, we’ll call him Seito. Seito stopped his footsteps and looked at the sea, more precisely the girls in bikinis, playing in the water. A girl wearing a T-shirt and short pants suddenly approached him; looking at her he said: “Hey, Yuki… hmm… why aren’t you in your swimming suit?” “Ha! You just want to see me wearing bikinis, don’t you?” “I’m not someone like that!” “I just don’t want to swim, and you? I don’t think your outfit is suitable for swimming either.” Seito was wearing a T-shirt, long pants and a jacket. “You know I don’t like water… Hey, Yuki; do you feel anything... weird?” “Yes! It seems like something bad is going to happen at any moment.” Yuki said, looking at the sea. Everything went on per usual until evening and when the sky was getting dark, suddenly ‘KYAAHHH!’, the screaming voice of a girl pierced the silence on the seashore. “What’s happening? It sounds like Maryl!” “Let’s go and check it out.” Seito and Yuki ran towards the origin of the scream. [...]*

LV 1

soulla

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.

LV 10

kvoon

Very nice novel to read. It's fun to see the action and romance. But I would like to have more action in the novel. Instead of romance. But overall it's nice.