/ Movies / The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
摘要
"An everyday man gets thrown into the world of twilight thousands of years before the start of the plot.
With immortality and incredible abilities. How will this man's presence change the outcome of the original story?"
[ this is a slow-burn fanfiction; the MC is just trying to experience life and enjoy it, not to take over the world and rule from the shadows.]
I do not own twilight or the characters of the twilight world, all that belongs to me are my own characters.
標籤
-- 推薦票
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105評論
4.56
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寫檢討
really excited to read more! one of the few twilight fanfic's that adds to the wold.
It's quite good even I like the set up at the start and he seems pretty realistic as a person. I saw some people saying that oh he has no ambition and why did he learn to fight only after fighting a vampire. Well it's plain and simple, he can't die and it isn't even the start of the original twilight series we are still in old times and right now he is just enjoying life and what is currently happening is just the set up. Now for the fighting, that was the first vampire he fought and everything before that he could just one shot since he can't die. Like you can't tell you need something until you experience failure that shows what needs to be improved and how you can improve your weaknesses. All in all very good and I want more chapters.
Not for me, the MC lacks ambition its just boring, dude spent over a thousand years doing nothing but living in tribes and did not even bother to learn any combat arts until after his first vampire fight. I honestly see no point in putting him this far before canon cuz he's doing nothing with his thousand years beside learning combat arts now and going around healing humans. If someone is this far back I expected some form of legacy being created like a Kingdom or a very strong Clan of descendants but nah its just yapping until canon finally arrives.
The author isn't lying when they say 'average writing'. The grammar is fine but expect inconsistencies and an incompetent and dumb MC. He hides from a vampire, a vampire that should be able to hear his heartbeat and smell him. After being alive for over a thousand years he states that he still doesn't know how to fight and only decides to learn after fighting and killing a vampire. He learns how to use weapons even though the only thing that can hurt a vampire is another vampire. So many other things but you get the point.
live more than 1000+ year but master of none even trash these day better than this if they have that much time you try to write this you should make it better mc if this keep going to the way of modern time MC can only be beggar or homeless with this MC kind of mindset he will achieve nothing
I really liked this fanfic but it takes a long time to update, I highly recommend this fanfic. Could update faster since this fanfic has a future
I thought he would try to become stronger, but no, he does not train, does not test his body for strength at all, it is not clear why?! I thought he wouldn 't shoot everywhere , but would open his intelligence to know about everything, he has money but he doesn 't actually use it. Does it make sense to have a lot of money and guard it? Couldn't he have trained vampire hunters? He couldn't use money to change the Bible about himself?! it seems like a normal plot , but a lot of things are missing from where did the vampires come from ? Are there any magicians? Where are the werewolves? Vampires would hardly have appeared without magic! In short, does the author want to make hidden enemies for our gg? but where does he have enemies , what nonsense did the author come up with ? how much do I know at dusk vampires seem to take strength from blood so that it's nonsense that vampires burn from his blood))
So, this story has quite a few issues: comma usage is minimal, which leads the writing to feel quite stilted (note: a common issue for novels on here); characters' appearances and clothing aren't described, which was really prevalent to me since I've never really watched the show or read the books (note 2: this is one of the biggest issues so far); the world and the MC surroundings are only given barebones descriptions, which makes most of the scenes pretty bland to read about, most aspects of the MC's journey are skimmed, which, while making for good pacing, makes his thousands of years of life seem kinda inconsequential and impactful to his base personality and thought processes (Note 3: I'd have liked the author to go into more depth when it comes to some of the stuff the MC has seen over the years; I want to know what large settlements in China looked like and the peoples culture from the MC's perspective, what the top of mount Everest looked like). So, in summary, while I'd only tentatively recommend this book, I really hope to see the author steadily improve his writing skills as this fiction continues. P.S., please use the Grammarly + Quilbot method I mentioned in the comments.
This story was so good that I couldn't stop and binged the whole thing in practically one go. Then I spent half an hour looking for something, anything like this to scratch the same itch and found nothing. It was torture. Amazing story, love the premise and the idea of the mc's small changes throughout history. The pacing is perfect. I can imagine that pacing would be the most difficult part of writing a story like this, one that covers such a long period of time but it was well done. I never felt bored. 10/10 would recommend!
well, never thought I'd find myself reading and enjoying twilight fanfiction... but here we are.
One of the best Twilight Fanfic out there. Genuinely love how Adam has grown throughout the story. I genuinely hope that the author can complete this story.
BEST TWILIGHT FANFIC .............................................(I WANT SOME TWILIGHT FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS)........................................
4-5-3-2-5. The earlier chapters have some redundant paragraphs, it did get better. I enjoy the pacing so far, kinda reminds me of that Eternals fanfic. The MC is a bit bland, the emotional dampeners ruin any chance of character development. The updates are inconsistent and on the slow side.
Love the story so far. I have seen Twilight but not enough to know the story. Even then though it is quite easy to follow and still enjoyable.
The story is super great! Its just, The MC described and the coverart MC differs. I mean, The MC inside is tall, masculine, chad like handsome, the coverart looks dwork still a 4.8 stars
great story so far cant wait for more chapters. the story is great, and the background makes it more enjoyable, and i like that it is not rushed to get to the main story. i like how he is unique, not a wearwolf or vampire
This story is awesome, is original and plot makes sense, right amount of time skip w/o leaving unexplained gaps. It keeps you engaged in every chapter...