There will only be one chapter but please do read.  This is a story that had stuck with me a long time since I was in middle school.  This book is a short story about a girl named Hikari, some shooting stars, and a white fluffy chipmunk.

21 year old disinterested student......Rhaegah, of a new state of the art island school Legion High, lived his life like any other loner with the exception of a haunting reoccurring dream he had no interpretation for. One day he is visited by a strange man who not only knows him by name, but also reveals to him the existence of magic....... And that his world was full of it.....A world now in danger of destruction at the hands of the dark elves. Rhaegah then journeys to Valoren when he learns he is the key to saving this whole new world. He begins a journey of self discovery finding out the truth of his identity and awakening powers he could only dream of.... Powers feared by all...... The power of the Dragon-born.




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It's a strange room. You can't see the edge . It's just that the ceiling made of some unknown material on the top of the head is emitting a white light. There's a rhythmic "tick, tick" sound in the air. Just like some kind of machine is running, boring and monotonous cycle,  slight but exists~~
Time Passes, or there is no concept of time in this room at all. In Zhou Hao's vision, which is suffering from the empty white and the "tick" sound all over the time, there is finally a face, a face that doesn't know how to describe. The whole face's outline is like its own lighting, which makes people feel confused and can only vaguely see the light ,A pair of indifferent eyes behind mang look at him as if they are looking at a cargo, without any emotion~~
"hu~~"
Zhou Hao sat up from his bed sweating, not because he was afraid of the scene in the dream. In fact, since he was ten years old, he often had the same dream. From the beginning,He was very scared,but a few years later , he was able to deal with the dream in a very prosaic way,and then as soon as he entered the dream, he knew that he was dreaming, and even constantly explored in the dream. He wanted to know what kind of place it was, Why has he had such a dream for so many years? Although he spent more and more time in the dream, it's a pity that so many efforts could not make him even move one finger. Every time, he was passively watched by the mysterious man, like a mouse~~
He also tried to find out the answers in real life. "Zhou Gong's interpretation of dreams","
Interpretation of dreams"....such as this,he read it many times.But it doesn't work,they can't explain the dream at all~~
However, it's not totally useless to have this dream. Since the beginning of this dream, his spirit is getting better and better. His daily sleep time is getting shorter and shorter. Now he only sleeps three or four hours a day, but the whole person is still full of energy. Therefore, as a programmer, he can stand out from so many "code farmers" by his ability to sleep less and work all over the night~~
But this time it's different,Zhou Hao can't wait to turn on the computer and record it in a document titled "dream". Because this dream has made progress for the first time. At the end of the dream, he clearly saw what the mysterious man handed him somthing~~
While recording these, Zhou Hao kept thinking:
"Who is this mysterious man? Why give me something?"
"But I don't know what he gave me,Do I have to keep haveing this dream, and then I can finally know What happened to me?"
Thinking of this, he began to regret it .He hoped he didn't wake up,Maybe if he keep dreaming, he will know the answer for so many years!
But  it's too late to regret. He's sober now. He turns on the light, sits in front of the desk, opens the dream interpretation forum, and sends the follow-up dream content. But now it's more than three o'clock in the morning. It's the time when people are most sleepy. No one is brushing the post. After waiting for a long time, no one can reply. He can only turn off the forum and stare at the computer Ecstasy~~
At this time, he suddenly found a few lines of small black characters in the lower right corner of the field of vision:
Congratulations on being selected as God bug programmer, you No is 111. Please complete the following tasks within the specified time.
Task location: Huilong town;
Background: he should have disappeared in the world, but still walked in the dark, his existence is unreasonable;
Task content: find this shouldn't exist thing, and make it return to normal!
Task time: ten days;
If the task fails or fails to complete within the time limit, you shall be responsible for the consequences!!
At the bottom of this words,There's a ten day countdown that's slowly decreasing~~
Zhou Hao is a little confused: this is the mysterious man gave to me?
He has also read this kind of novel. The protagonist gets rewards by fighting monsters and upgrading all the way with a powerful system. Although it doesn't say what rewards he will get after completing the task, it's not a long time. It's worth to try.
But who is the "God" being? It can't be the omnipotent "Lord God" in the novel? If so, that's will be lucky,He fantasized about marrying a beautiful girl and become CEO,a happy life is coming~~
But this word"111",What does it mean?Does this lonely number indicate that there are 110 programmers in the world who are chosen by God like him?
"The procedure of making this" God "must be very huge, so there are so many programmers to solve BUG~~," Zhou Hao told himself.
Since he decided to finish the task, he immediately put himself into the preparatory work. As an excellent programmer, it's a common thing to go on a business trip, and often stay for several months. This ten day workload can only be regarded as a very small thing, but no matter how small it is, he will treat it seriously and make complete preparations.
Huilong Town, located in the west of Hanjiang plain, is not large in area and small in population. It is a typical plain farmhouse town. The pictures found on the Internet also show a large area of farmland and dilapidated small buildings,  It's unlike there an Internet company in this place!
But it's also possible that "God" put his system in this sparsely populated place~~
"It's strange that I dont's know who I should contact in the town. Do I have to go door-to-door to inquiry?" Zhou Hao looked over the task information line by line and confirmed that it was only these cold words, and there was nothing else.
He has a headache. These words are not clear. He has no idea how to start~~
"Shouldn't exist and walk in the dark? Is it poisoning?"
"No, in general, this large companies will not be connected to the Internet. Even if the employees are poisoned due to improper use, they will not invite outsiders to kill the virus, because in this way, they will put the company's secrets in the eyes of outsiders..."
"And it's only ten days. It's not enough!"
Fortunately, Zhou Hao was "dismissed" at the beginning of this year.
 What is "dismissed"?
 Nothing to do all day.  only pay the basic minimum wage every month. also make some disgusting systems. For example, you have to find a work summary that requires me to write no less than 500 words every day. Who can stand it?
So he quit his job and didn't get angry with the boss!
At present, he is light and free from the process of asking for leave. At dawn, he can start directly with his luggage on his back, which is much more efficient.
It seems that ten days is not short, but he don't konw what the bug is? Save a little time, just a little....
But when he finally put the computer in his schoolbag, he looked at the power cord in his hand, and he suddenly thought: I don't know what system this "God" uses, and I don't know whether this data cord can be plugged in or not.

When you wake up and find yourself been chosen by God，What do you do？
Who's kidding me？
Or.....This is the cruel reality？

The sun hung brightly in midair. In a dark, silent corner of the cemetery, Leonard Mitchell suddenly raised the shovel beside him.
The two mounds of soil at the side gradually raised in height as the coffin pit became obvious. From time to time, there would be passersby, but they didn't notice anything, as though a dream was happening over there.
Finally, Leonard threw the shovel and bent down. He reached out and grabbed the ends of the coffin lid with both hands.
Using immense strength, he pulled open the heavy wooden lid and discovered that the thick, long nails had fallen off at some point in time. There was nothing inside the pitch-black coffin.
Nothing! 
Leonard continued keeping his body hunched as he silently watched this scene without any further movement. He stood there like a petrified statue for a very long time.
…
In his hazy dream, Klein saw a tombstone with an epitaph. It stood silently among many other tombstones as it was dyed in crimson moonlight.
This scene shattered immediately as Klein snapped awake. He confirmed that he was still Dwayne Dantès and that he was still inside 160 Böklund Street's master bedroom.
The dream seems to be telling me something… As a Seer, Klein treated every dream seriously. This was no exception. He focused and shook himself out of his state of drowsiness before attempting to make an interpretation.
That's likely a tomb…
This represents a particular deceased or something related to resurrection…
The crimson moonlight represents the Goddess, corresponding to the Church of Evernight and the Nighthawks… If I were to directly see the moon, it might involve the Primordial Moon, Vampire Ancestor Lilith, and the Mother Tree of Desire…
The tomb was dyed with a color almost resembling blood. This symbolizes something bad…
As Klein did an interpretation of the dream, he gathered all the content and attempted to make an effective, meaningful conclusion.
After some serious thought, he began to believe that the dream's revelation was referring to the past him and the Church of Evernight.
After making the connections with what had happened the past few days, Klein slowly came to an answer.
As Dwayne Dantès has repeated headed for Saint Samuel Cathedral, he must've been added to a list of suspects. If Leonard hasn't left Backlund, this must've garnered his attention. After all, he knows that Dwayne Dantès isn't a simple person and has mysterious origins…
As an angel from the Marauder pathway, Leonard's grandpa probably discovered that the gray fog and the Seer pathway has intricate ties, and knows that the corresponding Sequence 0 is called The Fool…
This way, they will naturally be able to make connections with the honorific name of The Fool that was previously spread, and they would believe that I'm a member of a secret organization that worships The Fool. And developing on this clue, it can also involve the person who killed Lanevus and Hero Bandit Black Emperor who used tarot cards…
Along with the Gehrman Sparrow clues I deliberately left behind, as well as Leonard's previous investigations into Sherlock Moriarty, it's not impossible for him to put things together and find what's highly dubious.
And in the beginning, Sherlock Moriarty's disguise wasn't too good. As long as Leonard investigates seriously, it wouldn't be difficult to discover that the great detective resembled his former colleague… So, he went to Tingen to dig up the grave for confirmation?
As he thought about the matter, Klein pulled a back cushion over and sat up. He felt that he had already found the answer to his dream.
He began seriously analyzing what could happen afterwards, considering if he should abandon the identity of Dwayne Dantès.
Leonard has no way of conveying his theories and conclusion to the other Nighthawks because he won't be able to explain the key points for his inference. This will expose his own secret…
Based on my experience and my understanding of him, he will steer the matter via different means. This will be more complicated and troublesome, wasting even more time. Before that happens, I should find him and give him another warning. It should snuff out whatever is on his mind. After all, the Church didn't suffer any material loss, nor did anyone die.
Yes, for Dwayne Dantès, I have taken note of the time. I specially created tracks of my activity in the Southern Continent over the past few months, staggering it with the decline of Gehrman Sparrow's sightings. And this involves the Intis colony, so it will be rather difficult to verify the matter…
That also means that Leonard has, at best, figured out that Gehrman Sparrow equals Sherlock Moriarty equals Klein Moretti. He will just believe that I'm in cahoots with "them," part of a secret organization that believes in The Fool…
Heh heh, to him, Dwayne Dantès is a powerful, mysterious Beyonder who can sense the grandpa in him, a demigod. This is an obvious discrepancy with the other identities.
Klein soon came up with countermeasures as he turned his attention to the matter he encountered at East Balam Military Veterans Mess in the afternoon.
Why would they directly seek me out for such a private arms deal?
I just established a friendship with Macht and hadn't experienced any tests. I don't deserve such trust…
Perhaps it's a test?
In the beginning, it will just be rifles and cannons. The quantity would probably be limited. Nor will it involve high-quality items. Furthermore, I'll need to come up with the cash before receiving the goods. If I have any real problems, they wouldn't suffer any losses. They will only suffer the repercussions of a small batch of weapons falling into hands within their own domain of control.
Yes… to them, a tycoon like me, with a complicated background and a deep understanding of West Balam, really is an excellent candidate. First, I have the money. Second, I have the guts. Third, I have the resources and social connections, allowing the arms to be sold to suitable factions. Fourth, I have no background in the upper echelons of the kingdom. I can always be made the scapegoat and be abandoned.
They must've sent people to monitor me in secret… As long as this "business" is smoothly completed, I'll be a close partner with the military… This will aid in my investigations of the truth behind the Great Smog of Backlund…
The problem I have now is that I have zero actual knowledge of West Balam's Resistance and various tribes… I've no idea where that fellow, Anderson, is. I don't have his method of contact either…
Hmm, Danitz might be aware of the situation in West Balam… Same for Ma'am Hermit. Likewise for Queen Mystic who's backing her… I'll first gather intelligence from these channels…
Having made up his mind, Klein's working brain slowed down as a sense of drowsiness washed over him again. He let his body slide down bit by bit as he got under the blankets.
…
In the basement of Saint Samuel Cathedral, Leonard, who had returned from Tingen, managed to be in time for the team's internal meeting.
Soest first briefed them on the conclusion of the archbishop and what the other local Nighthawk teams had obtained.
"With the help from the Holy Cathedral, Saint Anthony has confirmed that the infiltrator is Gehrman Sparrow. The conclusion is that this crazy criminal is still alive but doesn't exist in this world.
"This is truly a contradictory statement. I don't understand it as well. His Grace didn't explain anything either.
"In short, our focus will be on the investigation of Gehrman Sparrow.
"According to the information provided by MI9, Gehrman Sparrow is a fake identity. He originally came from Backlund…"
After Soest finished the briefing, he asked, "Do you have anything to add?"
Leonard opened his mouth and was just about to say something, but his eyes shimmered twice before he fell silent again.
Soest turned his head and glanced at him, calling him out by name.
"Leonard, did you discover any clues?"
Leonard remained silent for a second before shrugging.
"That clue has been eliminated."
Soest didn't ask further as he looked at the other teammates.
After a series of supplementary information and analysis, he began assigning missions to his Red Gloves team.
After everything was assigned, Leonard Mitchell held a name list that required him to enter their dreams for a cross-check. He returned to the break room above and threw his body into bed.
He sat there silently as he raised his hand to comb his hair, preparing to begin taking action.
However, the first dream he entered wasn't anyone in the name list.
His target was Dwayne Dantès!
After repeated considerations, he decided to speak to this secret organization member, an undying monster from the Fourth Epoch, face to face. He wanted to see what information he could sound out.
This looked somewhat rash, but with both parties knowing each other's secrets, it was still a good choice.
…
160 Böklund Street. Klein's drowsy mind suddenly became clear as he knew that someone had entered his dream.
He pondered silently, sitting in a reclining chair and turning his head to look at the balcony. He saw a black-haired, green-eyed man wearing a white shirt and black vest nimbly leap inside. He was none other than Leonard Mitchell.
I haven't gone looking for you, and here you are coming to my doorstep… The other Nighthawks would politely knock on the door before entering. Only you would jump into balconies… Klein lampooned as he looked at the poet approach him.
At this moment, in Leonard's eyes, Dwayne Dantès was still wearing a formal suit in the dream. His sideburns were gray, and he had an angular face with an immense amount of charm.
At this moment, the tycoon wore a smile, as though he wasn't hiding the fact that he remained lucid and that he wasn't affected by a Nightmare.
"Didn't Pallez Zoroast teach you some manners?" Klein said with a tone he believed matched Leonard's impression of him.
Pallez Zoroast… He's warning me again… Leonard was taken aback as he remembered the name.
He quickly reined in his thoughts and bowed in a manner that lacked standards.
"Please pardon me for the intrusion. You are on our investigation list.
"Was the infiltration done by you guys? Is that your goal for coming to Backlund?"
"No." Klein in his Dwayne Dantès guise raised the cup of red wine and sipped it. "It's not us, but just him alone."
He put on an act that he wasn't afraid of Leonard knowing.
"Gehrman Sparrow?" Leonard asked in a deep tone.
Klein glanced at him with his deep blue eyes that seemed to have seen the vicissitudes of life.
"Isn't that obvious?"
"What does he actually want to do? He didn't take anything away," Leonard took the opportunity to ask.
Klein raised his hand to stroke his white sideburns and chuckled.
"What do you think is the answer?"


With the rising tide of steam power and machinery, who can come close to being a Beyonder? Shrouded in the fog of history and darkness, who or what is the lurking evil that murmurs into our ears?

Waking up to be faced with a string of mysteries, Zhou Mingrui finds himself reincarnated as Klein Moretti in an alternate Victorian era world where he sees a world filled with machinery, cannons, dreadnoughts, airships, difference machines, as well as Potions, Divination, Hexes, Tarot Cards, Sealed Artifacts… 

The Light continues to shine but mystery has never gone far. Follow Klein as he finds himself entangled with the Churches of the world—both orthodox and unorthodox—while he slowly develops newfound powers thanks to the Beyonder potions.

Like the corresponding tarot card, The Fool, which is numbered 0—a number of unlimited potential—this is the legend of "The Fool."

"Okay, stop talking, " Lu Qian frowned and interrupted in a deep voice.
Yang Yun didn't stop talking right away. Instead, she felt even more aggrieved for him. "Why can't I say it? You like her so much. It's obviously... "
Lu Qian looked up at her and said in a low voice, "if you say another word, I'll have someone send you back to your hometown. "
Hearing that, Yang Yun bit her lip and finally stopped talking.
Lu Qian turned his head to look out of the window and fell silent.
Yang Yun was the child of a distant relative of his. She could be counted as his distant cousin.
Before anything happened to her family, she had been living in his house, so she knew the series of things at home very clearly.
* 
Before Zhao Siqing left, she paid all the medical fees for Lu Qian, hoping that he would get better soon.
Other than that, she couldn't do much else.
Not long after, Li Feihuan called and asked her to talk about Li Feiyuan's situation.
Zhao Siqing thought that she had already made an agreement with him yesterday, so she arranged to meet him at a nearby shopping mall.
She was close and arrived earlier.
Seeing that Li Feihuan hadn't arrived, she sent a wechat message to Nalan Yanran: [ have you had any strange dreams? ]
Very soon, Nalan Yanran replied: [ a fairy who doesn't sleep like me never dreams. ]
Zhao Siqing smiled lightly, guessing that she had been busy the whole night again.
Zhao Siqing continued to edit: [ tell me, why do I always dream of the same scene, the same person? ]
[ man and woman? ] Nalan Yanran replied.
[ man... ]
Zhao Siqing briefly told her about the dream last night. After a while, Nalan Yanran directly sent a voice message: "Baby, I'm going to arrest someone. Check it yourself first, I'll call you tonight. "
Then, a link to [ Duke Zhou's dream interpretation ] was thrown over.
Zhao Siqing smiled lightly and closed the chat box.
But not long after, she could not help but click on the link again and lowered her head to study it seriously.
Zhao Siqing looked at the explanation that was searched out and softly read it out. "dreams are people's subconscious. Often dreaming of the same person means that this person has always lived in the depths of your subconscious and occupied a corner of your heart... "
"often dreaming of the same person means that he has always been thinking of you. "
Zhao Siqing frowned slightly, feeling that it was a little ridiculous.
However, she could not find an analysis that was completely compatible with her dream, so she simply opened the online dream interpretation.
The other party first asked about her dream. Because the previous dream was too shameful, Zhao Siqing only briefly talked about last night's dream.
[ you can interpret it. Here is the payment link. ]
Looking at the payment link sent by the other party, Zhao Siqing was stunned for a few seconds.
Was there a fee?
Zhao Siqing muttered under her breath, "liar, " and closed the web page.
But within a few minutes, she could not help but open the link again and pay 188 yuan.
After paying, the chat box showed that the other party was typing... ...
Zhao Siqing waited impatiently, a little curious.
Actually, as a psychiatrist, she had come into contact with some things like dreams.
Although there was no scientific basis for dream interpretation, but.. It could still satisfy her curiosity.
Not long after, Li Feihuan brought Li Feiyuan over.
From Afar, he could see the woman with her hair draped over her shoulders. She was sitting in front of a table by the window, jabbing at her phone one after another as if she was bored.
Li Feihuan walked forward and asked gently, "how long have you been waiting? "
The other party's analysis had just been sent over. Before Zhao Siqing could take a look, she noticed a figure beside her.
She looked up and saw that Li Feihuan and yuan yuan were already sitting opposite her.


Huo Jingchen had a serious paranoid personality disorder, and Zhao Siqing was his psychiatrist.
Huo Jingchen had endured it for six years, but he did not dare to get close to her.
He thought that he could control himself well, but after just one meeting, Huo Jingchen's face was swollen by himself.
"Zhao Siqing is mine, her eyes are mine, and her body is mine. From head to toe, from inside to outside, her hair is mine! "
There are hundreds of beauties in the world, but only you are my favorite.
The male protagonist is sick, and the female protagonist has medicine.
Double Love Letters, welcome to jump into the pit.

The Cupbearer and the Baker
1Some time later, the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt offended their master, the king of Egypt. 2 Pharaoh was angry with his two officials, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker, 3 and put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the same prison where Joseph was confined. 4 The captain of the guard assigned them to Joseph, and he attended them.

After they had been in custody for some time, 5 each of the two men—the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were being held in prison—had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own.

6 When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected. 7 So he asked Pharaoh's officials who were in custody with him in his master's house, "Why do you look so sad today?"

8 "We both had dreams," they answered, "but there is no one to interpret them."

Then Joseph said to them, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams."

9 So the chief cupbearer told Joseph his dream. He said to him, "In my dream I saw a vine in front of me, 10 and on the vine were three branches. As soon as it budded, it blossomed, and its clusters ripened into grapes. 11 Pharaoh's cup was in my hand, and I took the grapes, squeezed them into Pharaoh's cup and put the cup in his hand."

12 "This is what it means," Joseph said to him. "The three branches are three days. 13 Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh's cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. 14 But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. 15 I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon."

16 When the chief baker saw that Joseph had given a favorable interpretation, he said to Joseph, "I too had a dream: On my head were three baskets of bread.[a] 17 In the top basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh, but the birds were eating them out of the basket on my head."

18 "This is what it means," Joseph said. "The three baskets are three days. 19 Within three days Pharaoh will lift off your head and impale your body on a pole. And the birds will eat away your flesh."

20 Now the third day was Pharaoh's birthday, and he gave a feast for all his officials. He lifted up the heads of the chief cupbearer and the chief baker in the presence of his officials: 21 He restored the chief cupbearer to his position, so that he once again put the cup into Pharaoh's hand— 22 but he impaled the chief baker, just as Joseph had said to them in his interpretation.

23 The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.

this is a bible that I literally posted on web novel. think of it as a free bible that can be downloaded and read offline that is also AD free and doesn't ask for your email so that it can send spam email about the app and whatnot. I do not own the bible at all so it is not a book written by me. those into Christianity and that stuff about god. then, please send some votes for me and check out my other novels as well. leave a comment and a review. also after searching, I realized that im the first person to do something like this on webnovel, lmao.

An Lin continued toward the White Jade Mountain on his black brick.
The White Jade Mountain was an extremely dangerous place, but there was also a very high chance of Realm Essence Crystals appearing there, so An Lin made the decision to take the risk. Becoming a eunuch for ten thousand years was no joke, and it was something he definitely couldn't allow to happen.
He was currently sitting on his brick with a troubled look on his face.
He wasn't troubled because of the prospect of becoming a eunuch, but instead by the Blood Tribe woman who was now sitting on his brick with him.
"Have you finally decided to accept me? Don't worry, I'm willing to do anything for you if you agree to let me drink your blood!" The Blood Tribe woman patted her voluptuous chest as she made her guarantee.
An Lin looked down in amazement at the woman's chest. She was wearing quite a loose robe, so An Lin wasn't able to see just how large her breasts were earlier. Upon closer inspection now… Woah, these were at least 36D!
Was Blood Tribe nutrition that good?
Could it be that sucking blood could enhance breasts?
 An Lin had seen a lot of Blood Tribe women, and none of them had flat chests.
The Blood Tribe woman seemed to have noticed where An Lin was looking, and a blush appeared on her face as she squirmed a little uncomfortably. "That kind of thing… isn't out of the question. But it's my first time, so you'll have to pay me with a bit more blood…"
An Lin almost threw up a mouthful of blood upon hearing this. When did his blood become a currency?!
No! That wasn't the point! The important thing was that he wouldn't do something like that in the first place!
An Lin cleared his throat before replying with a serious expression, "I only invited you onto the brick to have a chat with you, not to accept you, so don't think too much of it."
Having a Return to Void Stage mighty figure constantly following him around was quite a potential hazard.
Who knew whether her supposed inability to attack An Lin would suddenly disappear?
If the Blood Tribe woman decided to kill him after recovering from her injuries, An Lin would be well and truly screwed.
There was another option for An Lin now, which was to unleash his full power to kill the woman.
However, that wasn't the best course of action either. After all, if this really came down to a battle to the death, the aftermath might not be something he wanted to deal with. 
He felt like the Blood Tribe woman had recovered quite a bit from her injuries, so there was no guarantee that he would be able to defeat her. On top of that, even if the woman was averse to hurting him, she could still run!
If she ran away and stalked him in secret before attacking him in the future, that would be even more disastrous!
The Blood Tribe woman nodded after hearing An Lin's words. "Alright, what do you want to chat about?"
An Lin thought to himself for a moment before replying, "I can give you a bit of my blood if you want."
The Blood Tribe woman's eyes immediately began to glow with excitement. "Yes, please! State your conditions!"
"Establish a slave contract with me so that I can keep you by my side without having to worry about my own safety," An Lin proposed with a smile.
The Blood Tribe woman faltered slightly before an extremely conflicted expression appeared on her face. As she shook her head, she said, "No… I can't… You're a human and I'm from the Blood Tribe…"
An Lin massaged his brows before amending his conditions. "Alright, then I'll give you a drop of blood, and you have to stop following me around."
One drop of blood wasn't much for him anyway, and his top priority was to rid himself of this Blood Tribe woman. He didn't have any other ideas on how to do that, so he could only try to chase her away by providing a drop of his blood.
The Blood Tribe woman gripped her robe tightly in her hand and remained silent for a long while before finally nodding with great difficulty. "Alright… I'll do it!"
An Lin slit open his finger to release a drop of blood for the woman.
The Blood Tribe woman eagerly swallowed the drop of blood, and her eyes narrowed into slits again as she savored the blood, seemingly completely entranced.
An Lin was quite puzzled. Was his blood really that delicious?
He paused for a moment before tasting a drop of his own blood…
The resulting taste… was only metallic and salty!
"Get away from me if you're done!" An Lin waved his hand dismissively.
The Blood Tribe woman stared at An Lin with forlorn eyes and licked her soft, red lips, as if she wanted to drink some more…
"Go! Get out of here!" An Lin pointed to the sky behind her and shooed her away with a firm expression.
Tears welled up in the woman's eyes as she pleaded with him with a pitiful expression. "Don't chase me away, please…"
"You agreed to my conditions. What now? You want to go back on your word?" An Lin sneered.
"I can't live without you…" The Blood Tribe pursed her lips as tears swam in her eyes.
From a bystander's point of view, it looked like they were a pair of Dao partners going through a breakup.
However, the reality of the situation was, this woman liked to drink An Lin's blood and refused to leave because of that…
An Lin was enraged to the point of laughter. "I've never seen such a shameless person!"
"What's your name? Tell me your name and I'll go."
The Blood Tribe suppressed her tears as she stared at An Lin.
An Lin snapped, "My name is An Ritian[1]!"
"An Ritian…" The Blood Tribe woman muttered to herself, "Bringing peace to the world, a man as bright and dazzling as the sun, but with a heart as vast as the heavens… What a great name![2]!"
An Lin's body swayed unsteadily. What the f*ck is with this interpretation?!
"My name is Cassidy." The Blood Tribe woman smiled and said, "May we meet again, An Ritian!"
An Lin rolled his eyes in response. He couldn't care less what the woman's name was!
Cassidy was a little crestfallen upon seeing An Lin's disgruntled expression, but she still forced a smile onto her own face before waving her hand in farewell.
Thus, An Lin finally managed to chase this ticking time-bomb away.
Xue Zhantian flew toward An Lin excitedly as Cassidy flew away into the distance. "Master, you changed your name? I have to say, your new name is much better than your original one! We are definitely the same type of people after all!"[3]
An Lin chuckled lightly. "Who's the same type of person as you? You're a beast, not a human!"
Xue Zhantian blinked his big round eyes in confusion. "Isn't that besides the point?"
An Lin explained. "I just didn't want to give my real name to that Blood Tribe woman. Otherwise, she might use my name to curse me someday with some mystic technique."
He then brought out the blood-jade coffin from his storage ring before surveying it with his Divine Inspection Technique.
"Blood Soul Jade Coffin: An intermediate rank immortal tool with the ability to preserve the body and consciousness of a living being, even if they are on the brink of death. The coffin is also able to absorb life-force energy from its surroundings to regenerate the user."
An Lin smiled with satisfaction. Just this immortal tool alone was a huge haul!
He went on to refine Cassidy's storage ring before rummaging through the contents with his divine sense.
His expression faltered slightly at what he saw before an ecstatic expression appeared on his face.
What a massive haul!
As expected, there was a high chance that Cassidy had battled another mighty figure not long ago.
Not only that, but she killed that mighty figure too!
This notion was verified by the diversity of the items within the storage ring.
There were things like Meteorite Clams, Sea God Rods, Illusionary Dream Pearls… and all types of oceanic products as well as some water-type spirit pills…
An Lin inspected all these items and determined that the mighty figure she killed was most likely from the West Sea.
He then tallied up all of Cassidy's belongings.
There was a total of one hundred and sixty-two vital stones, fifteen spirit tools, forty-one spirit pills, twenty-five spirit fruits, a bunch of oceanic products, and some tool-refinement materials.
There weren't any immortal tools, but there were four immortal pills.
There were three Blood Rakshasa Pills, which was a type of eighth-grade immortal pills. These three pills were extremely useful in battle for the fast regeneration of blood, vital energy, and injuries.
The last immortal pill was Azure Sea Soul Pill, a sixth-grade immortal pill, which could increase one's affinity toward water as well as assist the consumer in attaining enlightenment in water-type spell techniques to a small degree.
Most importantly, there were five golden Realm Essence Crystals!
An Lin was almost moved to the point of tears after seeing those five Realm Essence Crystals!
There were still ninety-five more that he needed to collect in order to save his d*ck…
Aside from that, there were twelve red Realm Essence Crystals as well as thirty-one white Realm Essence Crystals.
An Lin tallied up everything in his storage ring to find that his net worth had broken through to over twenty million spirit stones. He was quite pleased with himself after discovering this. After all, with things like money, it was always a case of the more the better.
Not long after he had finished tallying up everything in his storage ring, the space before him suddenly began to crack open.
An Lin immediately came to a grinding halt on his brick as his heart leaped into his throat.
This spatial manipulation power… Was he being attacked by a Return to Void Stage mighty figure?
A beautiful woman in a loose black robe then walked out from the spatial rift.
She wrung her two hands tightly together on her lower abdomen as she looked up An Lin with tearful eyes and a pitiful expression.
She then took a deep breath, as if she had just come to an important and difficult decision, before speaking in a trembling voice.
"An Ritian… I… I agree to establish a slave contract with you!"
An Lin: "…"
[1] Ri = f*ck, tian = sky/heavens, so he's inventing the name of An f*ck the heavens for himself.
[2] She's basically completely butchering the interpretation of the name. An, which is An Lin's surname means peace/safety, Ri = f*ck or sun, and tian = sky as aforementioned. Hence his name can also mean peace sun heavens, thereby allowing it to be misinterpreted.
[3] Zhantian as aforementioned means slash the heavens, while Ritian means f*ck the heavens, hence why they're supposedly the same type of people.


On modern-day Earth, An Lin seems to have been abandoned by God. 
When his father suddenly disappears, An Lin is left with his father's immense debt, putting his life at risk. 
After being forced to a rooftop by his pursuing creditors, An Lin is unexpectedly swept off his feet and brought to the ground safely.
    
After learning that he was saved by an Immortal, An Lin is gifted, seemingly out of pure generosity, the 'God Of War System,' and a pass to a new realm.
Follow An Lin as he experiences a whole new world of legends, meets many new friends, acquires legendary weapons and tools, and starts on his path of becoming a powerful cultivator. There is never a dull time in An Lin's new life with his ‘great’ new system!

The following night, the presenter opened the interview saying, "So far your story is full of twist and turns and I feel we are still far away from what people really want to hear, they want to hear what Richie did that made you to dump him on that wedding day"
       To this Tolu replied, "I know, but they need to also know how we got to that point and how he dug that grave for himself and I am about to step into that this night..." "Good, my ears are itching to hear it" The presenter chipped in 
       Tolu continued her story, "It was not long that I discovered that my mom was very right with her advise that she gave me about no sex till the wedding night, how did I confirmed it? 
      It happened like this, our relationship  speeds up deeply like we had been on it for a long time, he visited me and I visited him regularly, but whenever I am going to his place I always go in the company of my friend Bianca so that she can serve as a save guard against things going out of hands, you know what I mean?"
       The presenter asked, "You mean so that he will not be able to make sexual advances towards you right?" Tolu answered, "Exactly, but he did not like it, but I remained steadfast in that act because I saw that he could not controlled himself  sexually, so we played a lot of hide and seek game with each other until one night that I discovered that this issue of sex is going to cause serious trouble between us"
       The presenter asked her, "What happened during that night? Tolu answered, At that point I was so close to his friend Ayo who secured that new job that opened the door for our relationship, because he was my direct boss as Richie was in my former place of employment. The man liked me so much because of my high working ethics and he saw me as an epitome of moral uprightness.
       He happened to be the only blossom friend of Richie, and they always hang out together either in Richie's place or his own place.
      On the night that I mentioned, they were together in Richie's place, and it was Saturday evening that we did not go to our offices.
       The building in which Richie resided then had two balconies, the first balcony face the gate of the compound while the second faced the back of the compound. Normally, we like sitting at the back because  there it was always cool after sunset which always heat up the front part of the building 
      I left them sitting there that evening to go and buy ingredients that I need for cooking, but when I got downstairs I realised that the money in my purse will not do, so I returned to collect more money from Richie. 
      They did not know when I reentered, I heard Richie telling Ayo his friend that he had one dream that terrified him and Ayo asked him to relay the dream to him.
       I did not know what happened to me that night, It was never part of me to eavesdrop on people, but I just have this urge to stay quiet to hear the dream that he dreamt, somehow I felt the dream have something to do with me, if not he would have told me because he said he had the dream a week ago.
       Really he doesn't keep anything from me, but for him to have a dream that bothered him that much and he did not tell me increased my interest in the dream.
        He told Ayo that he dreamt that he saw a large pot seething on the stove, inside were boiling African sweet potatoes that were not yet done and I was the one cooking the potatoes, he said he saw himself sneaking into the kitchen to steal some of the hot undone potatoes.
       He dipped his hands into the pot and brought out a big potato to eat, his hand got seethed by the boiling water and the pain was so terrible. in spite of that pain he went ahead and ate the undone potato and his tongue too got blisters that kill the taste on his tongue. After eating the undone potato he had a terrible stomach aches and he was rolling on the floor in a deathly pain.
      When I heard this story I wanted to hear what his friend would say, but for sometimes he just kept quiet and he did not say anything until Richie asked him whether he thought his dream was a warning for a bad thing in the future about me?
      Then Ayo asked him if he really want to hear the meaning of his dream? Richie answered and said he knew he usually know how to interprets difficult dreams that was the reason he told him the dream and he should go ahead and tell him the meaning no matter what it is.
      Hearing this, Ayo said this dream is about you, Tolu and sex, if you force your way with her as you have been saying you will do you will experience unending woes and aches. So my advise is that you should do the needful if you know you are hungry for sex with her, marry her quickly after all there is nothing hindering  you from marriage 
       When Richie heard this interpretation, he kept quiet for a while, later when he opened his mouth he said, "Ayo, you have interpreted many of my dreams accurately in the past, but you are wrong this time, the interpretation you gave doesn't belong to my dream.
       You just twisted it so that you can use it to dissuade me about my plan concerning that girl, but I have told you my mind, I cannot marry a girl that I do not know whether she is frigid or sexually active. What if we marry and it turn out that she is a frigid cold girl that will turn my life to hell and I will need to return to the street to relieve myself?"
        To this Ayo answered, "I don't think so, Tolu cannot be a frigid she only have a vow to keep herself till the wedding day, and I am sure you will enjoy her" 
"That is your own, for me if she maintain her no sex till wedding night stand, then I will maintain my no wedding until we have sex stand. Don't you see that she is torturing me on purpose 
       To make the matter worse for me, since I met her other girls don't turn me on again like before, if not by now she will know what she is worth"
       "Richie, you will never settle down into marriage unless you have a girl like Toly who will make you to settle down" Ayo told him.
       "Richie replied, " That is a lie, my relationship with her is about to clock a year now, why didn't I dropped her like others?"
        "The reason you did drop her was because you have not seen her nakedness, you are like a cock, you get tired of girls that you sleep with immediately you see another one, if you know what is good for you fix your wedding date and marry this girl she is so good for you!"
         This was what I heard without him knowing that I eavesdropped that night, and though I love him; but I made up my mind that I won't give in to sex before wedding as my mother advised me"
         "That was great" Says the presenter, "If all our ladies can be like you most of them will not surfer heartbreaks that is prevalent everywhere today in relationships" He added

He was in the deep gutter of jungle justice, in a matter of minutes he'll loose his life for crime he did not commit; and from the blues she stepped out to expose the real criminal and saved him.
Though nothing could match what she has done, but to show gratitude he helped her to secure a job where he worked and this caused a rift between him and his girl friend who was a born with silver in the mouth neighbour of his saviour.
With this girl friend annoying needless tantrums, he dumped her and decided to focus on the saviour, but she refused for a long time until he cleared off her chief reason for saying no through a special arrangement, and they started a sexless relationship which he  really did not like.
After a while in their cat and mouse sexless engagement, the criminal that she exposed to save him showed up with acid plastic and ruined her beauty.
With her beauty ruined he lost interest in her and dumped her for her traitorous friend. This set them up for a long journey of deadly vengeance. This book is a book for the strong hearted who can have food on the table and be glued to printed page that cant be put down to be read later!

"Now I finally understand what Raven 12345 meant when she said she was ‘too busy to deal with the trifles of earth’." said Hao Ren after disconnecting from the call. "Her daily job is way too crazy, it’s exactly like a scene taken out of a blockbuster movie."


"Does she hold grudges?" Vivian, who also saw the space battle, got a little scared of Raven. Although she had no idea about space wars and mathematical rates weapons, she couldn’t help but feel that Raven 12345 is the kind of boss you wouldn’t want to cross. "Are you sure that you have never offended her before?"


"Well there are times where I called her the white haired succuba silently inside my head. Does that count?" asked Hao Ren after contemplating for a while.


"..." Vivian was speechless.


While Hao Ren was still chatting with Vivian, his MDT suddenly flashed and a message came in directly into his head: "The interpretation program had been sent to you."


Hao Ren switched on the MDT and found the interpretation program quickly. In fact, he didn’t have to search for it. He just simply gave a command in his mind and the MDT carried out the intended function, bringing up the interpretation program immediately. As he was reading the program manual, Hao Ren licked his lips subconsciously, saying, "The heck! Another high-end product. If I had had this product back then, I wouldn’t have to retake the CET-4 three times…"


"How is it?" Lily scratched her head while looking at the MDT with much interest. "Does it explain how to use the program?"


Hao Ren pointed at the holographic image. It was clearly stated here:
The script for the usage of the Universal Adaptive Interpretation app. 
•	Accessibility clearance level: F 
•	Accessible to basic level agents or equivalent positions 
•	Connects directly to user’s mind upon activation 
•	Simultaneous interpretation inside the mind. Users will not experience lapses in the interpretation process and supports language auxiliary function at the same time 
•	Able to take charge of part of user’s language ability and enabling users to engage in barrier-free communication in different languages.


Though the above script contained multiple terminology, Hao Ren was able to grasp the general operation of the program just by picking out the few words that he understood from the script. He had to admit that the program was pretty amazing. It was similar to the MDT as both linked directly with the user’s mind. As a matter of fact, all of the auxiliary programs in the MDT could do the same. At first he thought the interpretation app was just a text translation program with voice recognition (It can’t be helped, the last he checked, that’s the best earth’s technology has to offer isn’t it?), but he never expected it to be able to link with and work in his mind with any language. There was even a "language auxiliary function" which could actually take charge of some parts of the user’s language ability?


Hao Ren thought at this rate, he could pretend to be a local and actually pull off a flawless London accent.
 "By the way, we can give it a go now!" Hao Ren suggested as he noticed a side note stating that there’s a built-in language library encompassing the languages of the worlds under the jurisdiction of the empire. Even aboriginal languages and those long-lost from uncivilized worlds were included in it. He was curious and wanted to test it immediately. He activated the program immediately and confirmed in his mind that the mental port was ready. He then turned to Vivian and said, "You can speak to me in Anglo-Saxon English now, let’s see if it works. According to the user’s guide, any spoken language on earth can be translated."


Vivian blinked and said, "Is it really so amazing?"


"Let’s give it a go!" said Hao Ren excitedly. "Go ahead."
Vivian paused for a moment and said, "I spoked to you in Old English just now, and you replied in Old English as well." 


Hao Ren was stunned while looking at the MDT. A few moments later, he talked to himself, "Well it really worked. I don’t feel the lapse with the process of interpretation. It even imitates your accent." 


Lily sat on one side with her arms wrapped around her knees, watching them. She could no longer hide her curiosity and smiled as she walked towards Hao Ren. "Landlord, landlord, can I give it a try please?"
But as soon as Lily takes the MDT over from Hao Ren’s hands, the interpretation program stopped.


"Even though this device is a low accessibility clearance model, there are still rules to follow!" Read the line of words appearing on the MDT. "You do not meet the functional module’s accessibility clearance level, identification failed. Proceeding with this session is against the law. If you really wish to continue, feel free purchase the lock-free downgraded civil model in the City of Shadows."


Lily stared at it and asked, "Why then can I access the music player without any problem?"


"It’s a lock-free function. According to the regulation, you can freely access it." Another line of words appeared. "However, please respect the original setting of this devise. Its main function is to execute tasks, not to play music! You can insult the traditional looks of this device but don’t you dare insult the speakers. It’s a serious provocation to this device to play in your mind the Little Apple in a loop using the sixteen channel mode!


Hao Ren looked quizzically at her. Embarrassed, Lily returned the MDT to him. "I was just bored.  The other day you left it on the coffee table before going off to prepare lunch for Bats. So I took it and used it for a short while."


Hao Ren quietly took the MDT back and kept it away. However, he couldn’t bear the disappointment on Lily’s face. Therefore, he tried to divert her attention. "How about this, Vivian and I have tested the function just now. You can give it a go I you want. Just simply pick any foreign language or dialect. Let’s see if it can be translated as well." 


The idea brightened her up. After Hao Ren was ready, she cleared her throat and said tentatively, "Woof?"


Hao Ren, "..."


Vivian, "..."


MDT, "..." 	


"Erm… this device isn’t pre-loaded with the corresponding glossary," a line of words appeared again on the MDT. 


"However, according the scenario analysis and the condition your body is in, could what you’ve just said be ‘food’?"


Lily hugged her knees and pout, "It was just guessing around, that doesn’t count. It’s not funny at all. I want to go down to get some something to eat."


After Lily left the room, Vivian turned to Hao Ren and smirked, "You see, she won’t usually admit that she is just a big doggie but once she opens that mouth of hers, she exposes her true identity."


"You can’t say that," Hao Ren stuck up a tiny bit for the stupid werewolf of a sister who had always cheered him up. "I told her to speak in some foreign language. Probably barking is a foreign language to werewolves… at the very least it could be a dialect."


Hao Ren was amazed by the new function of the MDT. He felt that he could be an expert in any language in no time without any problem. Had he not been lazy, he would have probably disguise himself as the top student in every college of linguistics with the help of this device. However, little did he know that that function was actually the most basic function in the most basic equipment in the Space Administration and it’s considered outdated. The language barrier was a common problem faced by basic level officers as they inspect each and every space. They were different from the Xi Ling disciples in that they couldn’t directly access all the knowledge via the mental network. The ordinary basic level officers (which also includes agents, ‘hallowed scions, ‘bishops’ and the likes) usually rely on a variety of equipment to solve the difficulties they faced in their tasks. Now the Space Administration was in the process of improving this situation. The solution was to directly integrate some of the functions in the MDT into the Bioenhancement and Reconfiguration Program. The first project was to install the interpretation program directly into the brain which enable these agents to communicate with any race in any language without any barrier and without the help of any device. It was a pity that Hao Ren didn’t join at the right time. He had to get back into that ‘coffin’ for the second time after the next two days.


Let’s not talk about the things that are yet to come. Hao Ren and Vivian went into the room. What were you thinking?! They were just trying to discover the other functions of the MDT. Hao Ren realized at that moment how unreliable Raven 12345 was. That White Haired Succuba didn’t even know the inner workings of a basic equipment of the Space Administration. It’s euphemistic to call her a tech illiterate. Hao Ren wondered if the woman was actually only an exception in the Space Administration. Anyway, in order to avoid similar problems in the future, Hao Ren must find out if there were any other problems with this equipment in his hands. My, oh, my, did he found another one! It was an app called "The Encyclopedia of Antenatal Care for 37 Races" was preinstalled in the Date Repository in the "Weaponry" folder.


This was literally Hao Ren’s expression: O_o!!


"Can the five-digit crazy Goddess still carry out her duties reliably? Imagine one day I am on the brink of death on the battlefield, requesting for backup and all I’ve got is two prams descending from the sky? And for whom I wonder…"






As a person who is down-to-earth as well as a good Samaritan, Hao Ren desires to live the rest of his life as a benevolent landlord. Stumbling into a curious yet mysterious lady, he began his journey of “collecting” abnormal and supernatural tenants. 
His life only became more chaotic when he receives a labor contract from “God”. Discover the many races, myths and worlds that lie beyond what humans define as normal! This bizzare fantasy full of fun is sure to bring you on a crazy rollercoaster of emotions!

Love is a promise,

Love is a souvenir,

Once given never forgotten,

Never let it disappear.

These are the words that 18-year-old Raymond McGregory saw written in chalk on the sidewalk as he walked to his first ever college class. Raymond was no Sherlock and didn't give much thought as to why this quote was here, and just assumed that it must have been left by some adult who wanted to brighten up someone's day. For Raymond however, this quote caused him to remember a time when he was in love. More specifically, he remembered the day he first confessed his love to a girl and began his journey in the dating world. It was a warm spring day with his 8th grade graduation drawing near when Raymond confessed his love to the girl of his dreams.

He asked her to date.

She asked him to die.

And that was both the beginning and the end of Raymond's "dating journey."

(Wait a second, that's not a happy memory. I need to think back to the day I kissed a girl romantically. Ah yes, me and her were both in the rain when it happened.)

As Raymond sunk deeper into his memory of that day, he had a hard time recalling most of the of what had happened. And that's probably because it's impossible to remember something that never happened, and what little he had remembered of that day wasn't "remembering", it was his imagination.

(Okay, I have to have done something romantic in my life.)

Then Raymond remembered the time where he did the impure heterosexual act of romantically holding hands.

He had a big smile stretched across his face as he held her hand from behind.

Then she turned around and he saw her face in its entirety,

and he realized that the girl he was holding hands with wasn't even a girl at all.

(If love is a souvenir than what the hell kind of souvenir was that? The bootleg action-figure kind where they change Mickey Mouse's name to "Mike the Rat" and Mickey's face looks like some kind of freakish garden gnome? But I guess they did get the whole "never forgotten" part right because those memories have been seared into my brain with a blowtorch. Either way I have to have at least one good romance related memory!)

Raymond caught a memory of himself standing at the front of a ship hugging a girl and lifting her up into the air. Thing is, this was just Raymond remembering a scene from the movie Titanic.

Raymond kept searching his mind for a good romance related memory but he couldn't find a single memory that wasn't heartbreaking, imaginary, or just plain wrong (though he did see this one memory of him petting his cat Boople Snoot, which made him happy). Truth be told, Raymond was a guy who was single by choice ... of others, and the only relationships he'd ever had were with his left hand and his couch sleeve. He was what you would call a KHHV: a kissless handholdless hugless virgin.

***

Raymond soon found himself in front of his classroom. After waiting for the classroom door to open and the room to fill with students, he sat down and began thinking about his plan to get a girlfriend. You see, in the summer months leading up to Raymond's first semester in college, Raymond felt very lonely and thought up a plan to get a girlfriend. His plan was very simple: come off as a very nice, and the bitches will come in hoards. Raymond called his plan "How to Cure a Single Boyfriend". Of course the title for his little plan was a total oxymoron. Being a boyfriend by its very definition means that you aren't single, which makes his plan's title a complete contradiction, but this is the very contradiction Raymond saw himself as. Raymond felt his three strongest traits in the sexual marketplace was that he is the "ultimate nice guy", not a land whale, and male. To him these three traits clearly made him an alpha male, or at the very least not a lowly beta male. Because of his clear status as a dominant male, Raymond believed he was basically already someone's boyfriend, it's just that the person he was in a relationship with didn't know he was her boyfriend, and vice versa. And this is why Raymond came up with his plan: to match with his dream girl, and to cure him of being single. And he had a feeling that whoever this "dream girl" was, was about to come right through the classroom door.

And just then, the door opened, and Raymond turned to look at the dream girl who had just entered the classroom.

It was the teacher, an old women who looked like she was seventy-years-old.

(Goddammit, I've been cockblocked by some old geezer! What? Is my life so pathetic that I can't even have a good romance related memory of seeing a pretty girl walk through a fucking classroom door on the first motherfucking day of college? Like, does god have some weird fetishistic dating sim game planned for me where I go on the "Granny Route" and end up marrying someone who belongs in a retirement home? Is that what god has planned for me? Is that the kind of treatment nice guys like me get? Well, screw you god! Actually, don't do that. Then you'd have a good romance related memory of getting screwed unlike a certain 18-year-old with two thumbs and a thing for couch sleeves. Get unscrewed god!)

Suffice to say, Raymond felt both frustrated and awkward.

But as soon as Raymond's frustration and awkwardness expired, the door opened, and she came into the classroom.

Raymond's dream girl had arrived.

She was easily one of the prettiest girls Raymond had ever seen and the essence of feminine beauty. It was love at first sight.

Her natural scarlet hair glowed in the morning sun.

Her eyes were like blue diamonds that sparkled like the stars in the night sky.

Her face looked like a painting that only the most talented of renaissance artists helped create.

Her lips were as red as the sweetest of apples.

She walked with the grace of an angel.

But the best part about all of this,

was that Raymond didn't think of any this poetic bullshit.

Yes, while it was love at first sight for Raymond, his thoughts weren't at all that poetic. What he actually thought was:

(Jesus Christ, did she shove volleyballs down her shirt?)

He also thought of a bunch of other really vulgar trash, but I'm trying to keep a PG-13 rating here, so I'll just let you use your imagination. After Raymond was done thinking, his little angel walked gracefully to the the desk right in front of him and sat down. Raymond's veins instantly filled with joy.

(Oh my god, a girl sat next to me. She must be into me! I guess dreams really do come true!)

That was the only seat left for her to sit in though, and Raymond soon realized this.

***

Since Raymond didn't know his newfound crush's name, he wanted to make one up for her in the meantime. Considering he just thought she was into him even though no real evidence was there, Raymond decided to name her "Miss Interpretation".

***

The class soon started with the teacher giving her opening remarks, "Welcome to English 1A. Today we will be discussing the class norms and the syllabus." It soon became apparent to Raymond that this was one of those kinds of first days. You know, the kind where the teacher just spends two hours talking about shit you already know. Shit like, "you should raise your hand when you want to speak.", or "you should respect other people's opinions.", or "you're not supposed to ask a quadriplegic person if they were born in a minefield." Ok, maybe that last teaching is only implied, but I think you get the point. Though however boring as these classes may be there is one good thing about them, and that's that at the start of the class you think, "Oh god, they're wasting my time." But when you realize that you don't have to do any work you think, "Thank god, they're wasting my time!". Anyways, as the teacher blabbed on about respect or some other happy go lucky bullshit like that, Raymond became very bored and his mind drifted to thinking about Miss Interpretation. Even though he had known her for all of two minutes, Raymond fantasized about her being his ideal nerdy and artistic wife who he would spend the rest of his life with. Of course, Raymond had no idea what she was actually in to, but he did see her walk into class with her reading book in her arms, and holding a fancy looking pen, and that was all the evidence he needed in order for him to project his fantasies onto her. Raymond began to dream about his life after the two of them got married.

***

Everyday he would wake up to her sitting at his bedside and she'd say in a cheerful childlike voice, "Wakey-wakey! It's time for breakfast!". Then she would shovel spoonfuls of candy you put in milk known as "cereal" into his mouth and follow it up by shoving a baby bottle down his pie trap. 
Then he would go to work. The commute to his job would consist of him getting out of bed, and walking five steps to his computer where he would work as a full time E-celebrity. He would achieve E-fame as a popular gaming Youtuber and as a Twitch streamer. Everyday he would sit down and play video games all day. Thousands, if not millions, of people from around the world would watch him play and commentate. His legion of fans would type "lol" and "lmao" at all of his edgelord humor and dick jokes. His wife would often come in and play with him too. In fact, she would pose as his mascot. She would cause nerds from all over the internet to flock to his gaming channel and be envious of him. His wife would also be the artist that would draw his channel banner and such. Whenever Raymond needed a blanket, a back massage, or someone to scratch his ass at his "job" his wife would be there to take care of him at the snap of his fingers. When he would get off his "battle station" for his lunch break, his wife would be there waiting for him and say in a voice that resembled a kindergarten teacher, "Snack time!" and bring him trays of food with snacks like pop-tarts and animal crackers. 
Anytime Raymond would leave his room to take a shit and the like, his wife would see him, and joy would fill her heart. It would make Raymond so happy to know that he was able to make a woman happy by being himself. His degenerate disgusting self. 
Every night when Raymond would leave his "office" after an exhausting day of "work", his wife would instantly hop over to him with a cute adorable smile and say in a soft high-pitched childlike voice, "Would you like dinner? A bath? Or me?" And Raymond would respond with the same answer he used to get through high school, "All of the above!" 
As time passed and they both grew old, they would sit by the fireplace and hear, "Grandpa! Grandma! tell us the story of how you two got married!" And Raymond would respond by saying, "Well you see kiddos, it all started one day when I was walking through a hallway during my freshman year of college and your grandmother pulled me aside and took me to the school's rooftop. We were all alone, and the atmosphere was both nerve racking and exciting. She told me, "Raymond I want t-to tell you that…" She paused her speech and backed away because she was blushing so hard, But soon regained her composure, "I want to tell you that I see you everyday in class and you give off an aura of being the most sweetest, most nicest guy on the planet, as well as being very intelligent, funny, and cute. Because of this I…." She was blushing so much she couldn't stop herself from pausing again, and her face was as red as a tomato. Despite this, she managed to croak out her final few sentences, "I've been a secret admirer of yours and I've come to confess that I want to please my desires by being with you forever.

I want to cuddle you as you shield me from the intense rain.

I want to hear the striking words that come from your brain.

I want know what it's like hugging you in the winter breeze.

I want to feel my head resting on your knees.

I want to be with you all day long.

And I want to find out if my mouth can fit all nine inches of your schlong

 

do you have to turn in late work? "


"Raymond, I'll say it again. How long do you have to turn in late work?"

***

Raymond found himself having just woken up in his English 1A classroom. Apparently he had just been dozing off for the past couple of minutes, consumed by his fantasies. It was apparent to the teacher that Raymond wasn't paying attention, so she decided to ask him a basic question about the syllabus.

Raymond was nervous and quickly made up an answer, "Oh… It's uh- ten percent off your score for everyday your homework is late. So after ummmm... ten days the homework's percentage drops to zero and will not be accepted."

"No, I don't accept late work." The teacher responded.

"S-sorry I'll t-try to be more attentive from now on."

After this exchange Raymond could hear chuckles from around the room which made him feel bitter. Fortunately, there was someone for Raymond to share his moment of shame with, as shortly after Raymond was done speaking a girl came into the classroom, marking herself as "that person who came very late on the first day of class". And as if her punctuality wasn't embarrassing enough, she was playing a game on her Iphone as she entered the class, looking like a total fool. She also didn't look like the sharpest tool in the shed either, as she looked disheveled. This girl would be of no importance to Raymond if it wasn't for the fact that when she came in, she waved to Miss Interpretation and Miss Interpretation waved back. This lead Raymond to deduce that this disheveled looking girl was Miss Interpretation's friend. This deduction would make her someone Raymond would have to keep an eye on. Thanks to her new status in Raymond's mind, Raymond tried to think up a name to refer to her as. Considering the embarrassment that surrounded her, Raymond decided to name her "Miss Take". Miss Take then managed to make room for herself by pulling out a chair in the back of the class and sitting down.

After Miss Take sat down the teacher said, "Ok class, it's almost time to give your self-introduction to the person sitting in front of you."

(Self-introduction? Where did this come from?)

But then Raymond realized that giving a self-introduction meant that he was going to see Miss Interpretation's adorable face again and was going to have a chance to impress her was with how much of an amazing human being he is. This realization caused Raymond's thoughts on the class to change from:

(Thank god, they're wasting my time.)

to

(Thank god, Jesus, and the holy spirit that they're squandering what little time I have on this moss covered rock we call our planet!)

Then teacher the said, "Ok, time to give your class introduction!"

Raymond's red-haired princess turned around to face him and Raymond was eager to think up a class introduction to woo her over on the first day. As he was about to open his mouth, he looked at her pretty face, and something felt very wrong. Very very wrong. So wrong that Raymond's mouth sealed shut and anxiety encompassed him. And Raymond soon figured out why. It was because he had come to an epiphany.


The epiphany that in order to get girls to fall for him he had to actually talk to them.

18 year-old Raymond McGregory considers himself to be one of the nicest guys out there and a true dominant male. However despite his supposed accolades Raymond is single by choice…... of others, and the only relationships he’s ever had are with his left hand and his couch sleeve. One day the “tfw no gf” is felt strongly within Raymond, and he decides to hatch out a plan to get a girlfriend. But his plan falls apart when he comes to the realization that in order to get girls to fall for him he has to actually talk to them. This isn’t an easy task for Raymond as he suffers from extreme social anxiety. On top of that he’s a massive nerd, not very bright, delusional, and is honestly the kind of guy that would get fourth place in a three-man race. Later Raymond comes across a group of people on the internet known as "Incels" who seem to be in a similar  position as he is, but their views on the opposite sex and society seem very wicked. However they say they can help Raymond. Will Raymond seek help from these sinister people or will he try to keep a heart of gold?

Furthermore, can Raymond get girls to love him despite not being able to talk to them? How much control does Raymond have over his plan? And How do you  fix a moronic incel? Find out all of this and more in this dark satirical romantic comedy filled with nice guys, deep philosophical underpinnings, and strong gay undertones.

This webnovel can also be viewed on Royal Road Legends:

https://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/18749/how-to-fix-a-moronic-incel

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