200 years ago man created the greatest AI known but this Machine eventually grew a mind of its own and evetually it's own body, it rose up with others like it against the human race this battle went on for about 20 years and nature and most resources were dieing off cause of the continuing battles but the final battle it released a large blast but is wasn't a bomb it was something else entirely, the machines had something hidden down their main base, something that wasn't human or machine something not of this earth, the blast brought back nature it changed it along with the humans and Machines closes to the blast.....both of them went a evolution of some sorts and because of this both sides where able to form a peace ending the war



Lia Giles became a border guard and mechanic for the power lines on the in between of the main city and the unearthly forests, no longer being able to stand living in the high technology world where humans are treated like second class citizens. On one of her patrols she discovers something or more like someone that no one has ever seen before.

"He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little. He who would achieve much must sacrifice much. He who would attain highly should sacrifice greatly. "

-James Allen

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

"So, we're now seeing the question marks. What should we do next?"

 Everyone spelled the same question to the NPC act-a-like Anima, Amadea Mozart, as they clicked the Re: Characterization Database...yet, to my surprise mine is a little peculiar. There are no question marks, but everything is filled to the brink... Mine says these, 

✞———————❖———————✞

Re: Characterization Complete

Database:

Paradigm Name: Requiem Aranea
Type: Dark, Binding, Manipulation
Definition: Control anything dark, black, or bleak whether through imagination or physical contact

Paradigm Shift: Dark By Default
Limit: Once per three days
Consequence: -100 day lifespan
Usage Violation: -1-year lifespan

✞———————❖———————✞

As though I know that there's something not right, I have to act the same with the masses, or else I'll found myself exposing superficial profiles that I want to be kept private and separate from the publicity. I'll have to act however usual and casual I can be.

"As you can see in the new appearing layer, there is this, 'Re: Characterization: In Progress' prompt. It means that all of you are to undergo this said progress, may it be by hook or by crook. " Amadea Mozart exclaimed...

As I thought so. It is something to be done 'only' this day. Moreover, mine's different. It says Re: Characterization Complete. No room for any progress at all. 

"So what do with do with this?" Feeling the impulse of quickly finishing the said process, everyone started to act in haste with the coalescence of curiosity about what this process really is.

"First in the database. You could see there'Paradigm' followed by question marks. That pertains to the prowess that all of you are to attain in this warfare. Simply put, in this realm, it's not called alchemy, magic, sorcery or even wizardry...that's too weak to be compared to this... to what we call as 'Paradigms'-The most superior type of natural manipulation, whatever the mean. If you have proven yourself to be ready, then please tap on the question marks."

So my paradigm is 'Requiem Aranaea'? I don't ever recall knowing what it means.  Or giving my chosen power a name of its own. While it matches my power's definition, I can't help but wonder how this name came to be here, unless it's auto... Well, if that's the case, I should be thankful. If they were to auto-name it something else like 'xxJosephxx123', I'll have to sue whoever made this program, if it is in fact, one... which I think, is not the case.

"And at this point. I would like you to spend an hour or two, or even half a day to think about this. Because in your Paradigms lies your survival. It's your surreal capacity against this surreal realm, its environments that you don't know that you are yet to experience and of course, against your enemies. Upon choosing, there's no required limit, but know that it has usage boundaries. Please do choose wisely, after this it will remain 'inalienable', meaning, no external links would be ever to change what you chose. It will be your power even to your last breath. " Amadea added.

As though hearing the most important notif, everyone began to focus on thinking about what kind of 'Paradigm' they want to have. In meditation as they brainstorm for the most plausible element that would fit them. They can't mess this up now by choosing a power that is too weak or beyond control. 

"Click the question marks now." Again, instructed the anima of Music in the whole congregation.

"In there you could see a menu of options of what paradigm you want to have. First, you have to choose the type, after that appears another menu in which you would choose the Paradigm's main attribute...and in the last part you would be asked to have a custom input of what your paradigm shift would be."

As she uttered that seemingly familiar lexicon, 'Paradigm Shift' everyone began to turn their heads from their Persona Interface to the Anima giving instructions in front.

"Paradigm Shift?"

"Yes. It's a skill that is unique to each one of you. A skill that alters the Natural Laws of the Universe for the time being. It's the strongest attack in your arsenal."

Everyone then started to think harder in their decisions, even distracting themselves from the fact that they were feeling the pressure just moments ago. It is the first time that I saw them like this. It's a refreshing orderly view, not resorting to such rash actions that would inflict some mishaps further in the game. They offered every bit of their mentality as sweat running down through their faces as they scroll on the choices on the appearing menus... Still, here I am, doing his best to not get noticed that his Re: Characterization Database has already been filed without prior acknowledgment.

"Done... We chose it. But what is this consequence here? ", asked a curious lad a person away from me who is relatively younger-looking... I have to say thanks to him later. While I have the zest of what this 'Consequence' means, I hope that it's something different.

"It's exactly what it means... The consequence of altering a natural law. It will be decided by the system itself."

Never mind.

"Did you actually think that a mere human could go and alter one and escape unscathed? Fortunately no. Even for us spirits or even the deities themselves receive sanctions afterward. First, one inlaid as the 'Consequence' is basically the price that you have to pay the moment you use your Paradigm Shift." The Aima added.

"What about the usage violation?"

"It's the same. Moreover, this pertains to a 'Maximum' punishment that you must pay in return for not following the limit. In other words, if the prescribed limit is once per day and you use it twice, you'll have to pay, the 'Usage Violation', if you use it thrice you'll have to pay two usage violations and so forth. Oh, and you certainly must not worry. By 'Pay', we don't mean 'material', its something of 'equal value'. 

"So basically, even if we follow the limit, we still have something to pay just by using it?"

"Yes. Outmaneuvering natural laws in your state is inconceivable and for letting you do just that, compensation is a must. While all of yours differ, there's no doubt that some of you received lighter punishment. Moreover, that doesn't mean that you are exempted to pay the due. Outmaneuvering a natural law, comes great sacrifice... even to us spirits, what more for a human? And take heed that it is not you who will decide the consequence. It's the ethereal paradigm itself. All you have to do is to input what is asked simply by imagining it and Wella... You got yourself  Re: Characterized."

"Tsk" Everyone's face turned out to a disappointed bunch, while others were also calm.

Overtly, in Bleach they call it 'Bankai', in Shaman King, 'Oversoul', in Fate series, 'Noble Phantasm'... yet, in here, the deities like to refer to it as a 'Paradigm Shift'. A means of outmaneuvering natural laws given that something of said-equivalence is to be repaid. 

So, this is it huh...and yet again, why is mine filled already? It says here that my paradigm shift is 'Dark By Default', without any additional information to be more specific. Not to mention that the utilization consequence is a 100 day minus to my lifespan, and if I violate that limit of one use per three days, I'll have -1 year taken from my time as a biological-thinking entity. Fundamentally, it's just that dangerous.. but don't you think a minus in a lifespan is just plain cruel. Well, the spirit did say that it's of equal value, so I presume that my Paradigm Shift should be something acceptable. I just have to test it later...

I wonder what everybody else had...But, it's something not good, judging from their discrepant looks. If I were them, I should not make those kinds of faces in front of others.

Then as all of the crowd began to flinch their teeth seeing the consequence information while some were looking stupidly overjoyed to see some 'video game system' come to life, someone from the crowd stood up, whose figure is familiar to us all... 

"Lady Amadea, for the Herrschers. You're missing some important info right?" The same morena girl who was the first to step out into the city bridge asked this question, that I think might answer mine. She was the first to not fear what lies ahead, even in her fragile-looking body and in her not-so-easy-to-approach charisma.

"Oh right... For the Herrschers, your Re: Characterization Process has been completed right after you signed a contract with your respective deities. So, there's no need for you to undergo one. Sorry, I forgot this crucial part." 

So Amadea also has her clumsy side. Well, it's better if it's to be compared to that complaints ullage of a goddess, which I need to meet as soon as possible, sticking to the plan. 

Moreover, heating the word, everyone's face is turned from one person to another, looking for this so-called  'Herrschers' in the Armada, curious that one might be lurking with them, and then there's me pretending to be nothing but an inconsequent plankton swimming adrift in this vast unknown sea.

Sent to a 'Reality' game decreed by the Divines, and where killing should be the new norm, would players go head-to-head? Or hand-in-hand? Will a sociopath, anti-mainstream survive?

 Yet, in all of the cascades of questions, one fact remains inevitable... That the pilgrimage that awaits is one infernal warfare where dystopia, despair, and derangement runs to and fro, seeking who they may devour. 

And here we find a life tainted with nothing but monochromes and devoid of sociality, Jaiden Axcel Cendrillon. He unknowingly became a part of this serious game after signing a contract with the Goddess of disambiguation "Lacrimosa", without first reading the terms and conditions. Little did he know, that he is about to become the vessel of the goddess' will, a wielder of her immense power and that soon, he will venture a mystic realm where his life will be in constant 50/50 gamble going against the odds, with a genius girl classmate he least expects to be with.

Changes Made in Chapters:

Added Prologue ---- Had significant changes to the story.

Chapter 1 Rewritten ----- Old version is irrelevant (lmao). The Rewritten has new important characters, and also some new characterization for Xyn.

After Training, Infiltration, Creation ----- Slightly edited.

The Guardians ---- New scenes with the creation of guardians. Provided with some characterization for the guardians. Perhaps this is important.

Please read the Prologue and Chapter 1 for there are a whole lot of changes.

Xyn Draven Nightfall, a spellcaster that is one of the ungifted people in this world of magic. He was not all powerful, so he can't beat every opponent he may face. But, because of his past experiences, he unlocked a power within him. A power that's unusual, the power of darkness. He exercised and practiced his new found power and was able to easily defeat his enemy in a tournament. As he became even more powerful, he seeks to make things a reality. Thus, he created his own living beings with his magic. To test his creations' abilities and his own, Nightfall led an attack and they unleashed a fraction of their power to the world. Because of his actions, a company of people that claim themselves as protectors of the world, seeks to banish Nightfall from this world. Will they succeed?

Hi there NerissaMcC !

Thanks for requesting for a critique. 

I see you've already uploaded a bunch of chapters and your book is starting to build up a number of loyal readers, so keep up the good work. This review is published merely to help you improve as a writer. 

Should you find some parts of this critique rather fussy or overly critical, or just plain irrelevant, you may request to have it deleted from this REVIEW BOOK. Bear in mind that this is just a summary of my opinions as a first time reader of your work. 

So, to start off, let's discuss the prologue.

PROLOGUE

the quote was a nice touch

although the last parts were all 'telling' paragraphs, i think this prologue didn't give away too much because i found myself intrigued enough to read on

had some elements of mystery and presented an interesting premise, and the narration did quite enough to start building up your characters' personalities

*Some technical issues:

carefully planned gardens, (i think the hyphen is unnecessary)

the first paragraphs could do without the adverbs being in such close proximity

nice descriptions, but the part where Nimetath was staring out the window and describing the gardens could be revised to improve the sentence structures and narrative flow

"I trust you can take care of...everything else." (no spaces necessary before and after an ellipsis)

The House of Caranilnav had (tense switch) ruled the Empire of Carann for a thousand years, or so the history books said. (tense switch) Those same books said (tense switch) that the

that had (tense switch) ruled wisely and justly

And if occasionally the Emperors and Empresses had used (tense switch) force 

well, such things were (tense switch) often

**wait. did u intentionally write this in present tense? if so, ignore my previous revisions on the tense switches

Chapter 1

first three paragraphs were all info-dumping. maybe this could be lessened

there was another tense switching after the first long paragraph

Some minor corrections:

Everything else in the end is (typo)

"Mother!" He wailed in the high-pitched, grating tone 

('wailed' is a verb that means to cry weakly or softly, or emit long loud cries. it can't be used as a dialog tag)

and when she visited, (missing comma) she always brought toys

of Zjurkyu. So when she did visit, it was always a special treat.

**try not to overuse semicolons

POINTS of FOCUS: Plot and characterization

My apologies that I couldn't provide a more in-depth criticism on your plot and characterization. I just didn't have time to read through every chapter. Although, from the parts I've read alone, I can tell you have a knack for plot pacing and effective characterization that makes your target audience want to read on.

All in all, I enjoyed reading it. Your practically flawless writing style held my attention longer than I thought it would, since I'm not an avid reader of paranormal or sci-fi/fantasy fics.

The ending of the first part made me want to read on. I take it Kilan's journey to the throne would be the main focus of this story. 

Some parts need a little polishing to make the narration flow even better, but they're relatively easy fixes. 

Good luck!


Your friendly critic,

M

Submit your story to the critique list if you want an honest feedback on your work. 


If you want a constructive critique or just an honest feedback on your book and writing skills, read the rules in the 1st chapter.


Note that my critiques can be pretty thorough (depending on my availability and mood of course), and they are far from overly generic and sugarcoated to the point of being unhelpful. This is not for authors who are merely fishing for compliments. As a content writer by profession, I have ample experience in non-fiction and technical writing, as well as proofreading and content editing.

"SHOULD I READ THIS?": 

This is a character-based story with a cast of primarily LGBT+ women. Expect a heavy focus on character development, how they & their relationships grow and change, with a secondary focus on entertaining superpowered fights and plots. I would compare it to the Sam Raimi trilogy of Spiderman films, with a little more philosophical drama.

For a more direct example, some arcs are road-trip arcs, where the primary plot is merely "go from one place to another, kill anyone who attacks you on the way": but what's important is what you learn about the characters on the trip, and their dialogue.

Each year is 120,000ish words / 400 pages.

SYNOPSIS:

During the Cold War, superpowers in the form of bacterial colonies growing on one's heart begin appearing around the world. A new class of law-enforcing "hosts" is established over the next decades, given legal immunity to deal with violent criminals however they choose.

In modern day, Mia Schultz is a young socially awkward lesbian. She's attacked by an unknown man and given the power to control a swarm of fire scarabs named Worldwide, and as she's forced to begin her new job at Urasaria Academy, she's pulled in to a mystery on Worldwide's true origins.

UPDATES:

All 4 years have been rewritten. I will be writing Years 5-8 featuring a new cast, which will (eventually) be updating daily around January 2023 -- so please stay followed if you are interested in that.

Jiu Se was a multifaceted character. From the village to the uber rich to the authority. The layers were clear, the character progressed gradually. And the perfect thing was that she played an evil woman from the start to end.
She didn't endure any humiliation and was arrogant all the way through. Such a characterization would no doubt delight the viewers.
It was a characterization that went along the lines of "I'll make you despise me, but not only can you not do anything about it, you even have to bow down to my every whim and fancy." It would resonate well with the audience.
Even though the film inherited Du Changrong's attention to minute details and profundity, the characterization was a stark contrast to his previous films.
Especially the female protagonist. She tread the path of extravagance throughout the whole film. It wasn't obvious during the early stages when she was in the village, but it became glaring later on in the film. The film might be a hit as long as the investment, portrayal, and scenes were done correctly.
Yun Xiangxiang felt like she had tasted a glass of fine wine after she finished the script. The taste lingered like wisp that left a joyful aftertaste.
"Director Du, I'll accept Jiu Se," Yun Xiangxiang had little to no hesitation.
Du Changrong was hyperventilating a little from excitement. His lips trembled slightly. The once sought after director in the TV circle during the past had really mellowed out in recent years.
"You have to think this through. If Jiu Se is botched, not only would your progress would be affected. Your whole standing in Huan Yu Century Entertainment could be dragged into it as well. Your image can also be damaged."
"I understand," She wasn't really seventeen. It would be absurd to think that she couldn't understand the difference between Jiu Se's success and its failure.
It was like what she said. The audience loved straightforward content that didn't require any thinking. Du Changrong's stubborn belief that film was art was the reason for his decline. He believed that a film's message should be indirect. He believed that they should have been like an aged wine that should be savored.
The audience would inevitably feel uninterested. Yun Xiangxiang watched his previous films.
However, Jiu Se's characterization differed from his previous ones that needed some rewatch to make sense.
Even if Jiu Se's character was a bona fide evil woman, Yun Xiangxiang would still be able to portray the side that the audience would love.
"Director Du, there's a quote online that goes 'Whatever you do is right, as long as you're beautiful.' I can't guarantee the success of this film even if I do act in it. However, I can guarantee that it won't affect me in the least, even if the outlook for it isn't great."
Because she was playing a beauty.
It was the kind of enchantress that could topple a nation just by her charm. The world usually gives more leeway to these kind of women.
She was playing with house money.
This character was challenging. She didn't act in a historical movie before either. It was a chance to subvert her image. Or else she might be typecast as an actress that could only play youthful students.
"Alright then. I'll leave the script with you. You should know about my circumstances. I can't pay you much. How does ten percent of the total investment and a split of revenue sound?"
Du Changrong wasn't sure about his offer. It was an uncertain situation. They might even lose money if they produced the film.
The film needed a bare minimum of nearly ten million yuan to even have its effects captured during shooting. Its costumes and props were different from a modern film after all. Ten percent would be equal to 800,000 to 1,000,000 yuan before tax. This was only a guarantee to Yun Xiangxiang that she wouldn't work for nothing.
Its saving grace was that there was only one female protagonist for sure. Everyone else would be supporting characters. Like "University Dream," it didn't have any male protagonist. Du Changrong could find some actors through his network to play those characters. A lot of the actors who played positive characters didn't cost much.
He sought Yun Xiangxiang out because she fit the role of the female protagonist that he had in mind. Besides, the female protagonist could shoulder a great responsibility..
Zhou Wei also mentioned that she didn't care about material wealth. On top of that, Yun Xiangxiang had Huan Yu Century Entertainment's support. It was impossible to think that they would allow Yun Xiangxiang to enter a filming team that was broke.
"I don't really mind the pay. Just do as you wish. But I'll have issues with the schedule. You know that I need to go to classes. Besides, I have other work too. I need to wait for Brother Wei to return and talk to you about the details of filming," Yun Xiangxiang was still thinking about the character - Tiantian.
It was also unclear whether He Wei arranged anything for her winter break. There was also the issue of MonRoe.
"It's okay. I can wait," Du Changrong felt that anything else was secondary as long as Yun Xiangxiang accepted it. It wouldn't be good for him to stay any longer, considering that Yun Xiangxiang was a girl. He stood up, "Then I'll be going back. Here's my number. Ask He Wei to contact me when it's okay."
Yun Xiangxiang didn't ask him to stay and sent him to the door before turning around to call He Wei to inform him about this matter.
"You saw the script. I have faith in your judgment. But leave the follow-up to me."
He Wei was a nice man. He didn't blame Yun Xiangxiang for accepting the script on her own without prior consultation and even planned it out for her.
"Come to New York during the National Day's celebration. I'll be waiting for you here. Austin wants to see you in person. The company would put a different level of importance on your film if you could take the spot of MonRoe's global ambassador."
Yun Xiangxiang's initial trepidation faded when she heard that, "Okay, I'll book a flight ticket now."
The National Day festival would start after the end of their seven day lessons next week. They didn't know how long of a break it would be. It just so happened that going overseas wouldn't delay her studies.
Naturally things like booking a flight ticket were given to Coco. Besides, Coco and Ai Li wanted to tag along with her too.
She sent the speech manuscript to her dean after she finished editing it as she got back to her room. Song Meng brought Yun Lin back just after that.
"Sister!" Three weeks had passed since he last saw his sister. Even though there were video calls, Yun Lin still missed her dearly.
"Your elder sister is going to the Big Apple during the National Day festival. Do you want to follow me?" Yun Xiangxiang patted her brother's head, "You have grown taller recently."
"I ate a lot when I was training with Sister Qianqian. That's why I got taller faster," Yun Lin didn't just become taller, he also became much sturdier, "Will Dad and Mom go too?"
"They will," Yun Xiangxiang nodded smilingly. Her parents haven't gone overseas before.
Even though Su Xiuling was tempted to agree when Yun Xiangxiang called, she rejected the offer in the end. She considered the fact that it would be too torturous for the one year old Yun Ting to go on a flight of more than ten hours, so she wanted Yun Xiangxiang to send Yun Lin home while she went to New York herself. She would go when Yun Ting was a little bit bigger.
Yun Xiangxiang asked Yun Lin, "Dad and Mom won't be going. Do you want to follow your sister or go home?"
"I'll go back after the winter break. So I'll follow sister," He was addicted to training in martial arts right now. Only by following his sister could he train with Sister Qianqian.
Yun Xiangxiang let Yun Lin talk to their parents while she helped set the table for dinner.
Yun Zhibin and his wife felt very reassured about Yun Xiangxiang. They knew that she was there to talk about work. There had to be some company personnel there to keep them safe, so they let Yun Lin travel with her to expand his horizons.
Song Qian dragged both Yun Xiangxiang and Yun LIn to the training room after dinner.


Yun Xiangxiang was a well-regarded celebrity in her previous life. 
This life, she wants to be a proper actor. 
Have a good reputation, rather have nothing than everything and not rely on the words from her fans. The products are quality. Firmly plant her own feet to the ground and only rely on herself to take the throne, step by step. 
Yet, she accidentally got entangled with a world-class big shot.
Ever since then, the world-class big shot followed her on Weibo. He would gift her advanced technological goods for protection. Create rings that no one else can wear but her. He would glorify her family name so he can go through fire to watch over. 
Until he finally embraced her, "It's too dangerous for you. You can only be safe if you become my wife." 
Yun Xiangxiang: ...


"Lady Kao..." A mellow but cold voice cut into the strange atmosphere between the two groups.
Everyone looked over.
Ren Ranran quickly adjusted her attire and put on a coy expression for Acting Emperor Qiao.
Suddenly putting on a facade of being dainty and adorable, she greeted him: "Qiao-"
"Lady Kao, I want to discuss our upcoming scenes together if your schedule allows it?"
Ren Ranran had barely spoken before Qiao Bo cut her off, completely ignoring her.
The word awkward wasn't even enough to describe Ren Ranran's expression anymore.
Jian Qi smiled. What a cold man!
Wait...Lady Kao?!
Did he call her by the name of her role because he didn't know her actual name?
However, Jian Qi didn't mind, so she smiled. "Was there something wrong with my performance earlier? Should we do a retake?"
Jian Qi's words made Ren Ranran and her manager smile, and as they were about to mock Jian Qi again for being so full of herself when her acting was so bad, they saw Qiao Bo shake his head. "No, your performance just now was quite good...Lady Kao is quite good at characterization."
This was the first time Qiao Bo praised someone's acting ability. He was a cool person after all, and so he never tended to praise people in public. Even when reporters asked him, he only cursorily praised the person asked about.
Praising that she was good at characterization was probably the best praise Qiao Bo could give someone in his book.
Ren Ranran and her manager's expressions crumbled immediately.
Coco didn't even bother squabbling with them anymore.
Qiao Bo's praise smacked them both in the face, so why say any more?
Ren Ranran's manager pulled her away, not wanting Qiao Bo to have a bad impression of her.
But they were still jealous that Qiao Bo came up to Jian Qi to discuss.
Jian Qi didn't react much, but Coco was very excited.
That being said, he was worried that the girl would do some strange things to her idol and give the reporters fodder to write about in their tabloids.
Meanwhile, the surrounding reporters were looking at them like predators ready to pounce.
Jian Qi didn't have much interest in Qiao Bo. Her attention was attracted to the assistant who was wearing a denim shirt and helping to hold Qiao Bo's cup at one side.
Tang Jinyu avoided her gaze, his cold aura even stronger than Qiao Bo's
Qiao Bo noticed her gaze and asked curiously, "Do you know my assistant, Lady Kao?"
Jian Qi smiled teasingly. "I don't! I just thought it's interesting that even an assistant of yours is so unfairly handsome, Acting Emperor Qiao. Are you going to help him debut any time soon?"
　　


He—an enigmatic and cold-blooded soldier with a mysterious background.
She—a ruthless and bloodthirsty spy.
After she transmigrated out of the blue, she held a knife to his neck on their first meeting— marking the beginning of their twisted fate.
One day, she pinned him to a wall. 
“I’ve been teasing you for so long but you aren’t reacting at all, you’re forcing me to…”
Before she could finish, he smiled wickedly and counterattacked. 
“Good girl, this is what you call sending a lamb to a tiger’s mouth.”
Then, he sealed her lips with a kiss...


During the argument, the boat under our control sailed away from the island, gradually going deeper into the vast expanse.


From behind, the island is no longer visible, and on all sides, the ocean is vast and endless.


At that moment, a system signal sounded in Ron's ears.


[Hint Feature: You have received an achievement (first trip to the sea), 1 OD awards]


Ron expected this achievement as soon as he left the village of Kokoyashi, he didn't think it was necessary to sail so far.


I did not have to choose, 1 OD was directed to the characterization of the spirit.


1 the spirit characteristic made Ron feel the change again, he started matching all his spirit power with this increase, his total spirit characteristic should be about fourteen units.


It doesn't sound so suggestive, but the characteristic of the spirit of ordinary people is about 3 to 4 weeks. This is 3-4 times more than that of ordinary people.


At this point, Nami has a strange feeling that Ron has become a little brighter.


In the end, the argument ended with Ron winning.


No matter how fiercely Nami argued, there was no changing the fact that she was only fourteen.


During the argument, Nami tried to deceive Ron several times, but he reacted immediately each time and did not allow Nami to win the argument.


This surprised Us, she didn't think Ron is smarter than it seems at first glance.


Following Us in the speed of thinking and reacting correctly is certainly not a problem for Ron. Raising a spirit's stats isn't just about using magic. The spirit also represents thinking and wisdom, with the strengthening of the spirit, a person begins to think faster.


Otherwise, the speed with which an ordinary person thinks, how can you form a combination of 27 runes of 4th-order magic and even 81 runes for 5th-order magic!


Just memorizing so many runes will take an ordinary person a monstrous amount of time.


Sure.


Why strain your brain to resolve an argument when you have the power? Using magic to solve a dispute is great...isn't that right? One caste of legendary magic of the 5th order, any dispute will be resolved in an instant and even the whole world will be silenced.


...


The journey by sea was quite long.


Because we were sailing in a normal boat, there was no cabin or kitchen, you could only stock up on food and fresh water in advance.


Although there is a Nami that perfectly avoids bad weather conditions and sea currents, but even ordinary waves could touch the boat.


In his previous life, Ron had never been to the sea and at the moment it was not the most pleasant experience, fortunately, thanks to the high spirit, Ron is able to suppress mental discomfort.


Over time, he adapted to traveling by sea.


With the exception of smooth balancing on the waves, there are two tortures here: the supply of dry rations and fresh water. In addition, sleeping next to Us is a separate type of torture.


Although Ron knows that Lolita is most likely ready to defend herself at any moment, but it seemed that she was sleeping next to him and did not pay attention to anything.


At this moment, he could only stubbornly resist, constantly repeating: "I'm not a Lolicon, I'm not a Lolicon..."


Fortunately, Ron can meditate, in this state the spirit gets rid of emotions, a completely detached state. Although everything around is perceived, it does not affect thinking.


During the few days of the voyage, Ron meditated assiduously.


There is no need to practice the wind blade anymore, the skill level has reached a certain level and during training, progress will be very slow, increasing the spirit characteristic is a little more important at the moment.


After raising the spirit characteristic, thinking speeds up and Runes are built faster. There is a direct relationship between the speed of the caste and the characterization of the spirit.


The voyage lasted four days.


Because Ron is staying with Us, they didn't go to a peaceful island nearby, but headed straight for one of the largest island towns in the area.


Speaking of size, it's actually just an average island, much smaller than a large island capable of accommodating a country.


But because there is only this medium-sized island nearby, as the central area for a few small islands, a very busy trading city has emerged, even a Marine Patrol is stationed here.


Somewhere on the island.


Nami, hiding behind the wall, cautiously poked her head out and looked at the medium-sized moored brig.


It's a pirate ship, and Ron isn't impressed with the flag flying. It should be a small team of a few dozen people, quite common for East Blue.


The target is this pirate crew.


Although it is much easier to steal money from civilians, Nami is not going to do it. She will not pay attention to the poor man, her goal is the treasure of the bloody pirates or the rotten rich.


Although it is a risk, but the pirates ' treasure is undoubtedly more than that of ordinary people. A single success will bring huge profits and there will be no moral dilemma.


Ron also looked at the pirate ship.


But he has more goals than Nami, in addition to their treasures, there are several achievements that can be obtained.


After four days of swimming, his meditative practice reached sixty hours, and his spirit characteristic increased by 2 units.


This ship in front of your eyes can match many achievements. In addition to the treasure section, there are "Get the Brig", "First Battle", "Kill the Pirate" , etc.


If everything goes well, there is a hope to get 10 OD.


After that, the characterization of Ron's spirit can dramatically exceed twenty and approach thirty.


In Ron's mind, 20 spirit should be the lowest bar for learning 2nd-order magic, and 30 spirit for mastering it proficiently.


Mastering the magic of the 2nd order, he will be able to kill Arlong and be free in the East blue! Free to follow the achievement points!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
+10 chapters on my p@treon
if you like give stones of power

Ron accidentally falls into the world of Pirates, he is saved by 14-year-old Naomi, he receives an achievement system and awakens the profession of the Supreme God of the Law.
Achievement: Initial capital (get 10 million Belli)
Achievement: Disciplined Cultivator (1000 hours practice time)
Achievement: Mad Cultivator (practice time 10000 hours)
…

Somewhere in the sea, looking at the huge mushroom clouds and the destroyed land, Nami was stunned.

"Ron, you're saying that… 5th order magic?»

"Yes, it's called Judgment Day.»

Original author: https://www.uukanshu.com/b/96307/
I translator
Поддержите меня на patreon, чтобы увидеть больше глав!
https://www.patreon.com/eltomatos--There are 15 more chapters here

During the argument, the boat under our control sailed away from the island, gradually going deeper into the vast expanse.
From behind, the island is no longer visible, and on all sides, the ocean is vast and endless.
At that moment, a system signal sounded in Ron's ears.
[Hint Feature: You have received an achievement (first trip to the sea), 1 OD awards]
Ron expected this achievement as soon as he left the village of Kokoyashi, he didn't think it was necessary to sail so far.
I did not have to choose, 1 OD was directed to the characterization of the spirit.
1 the spirit characteristic made Ron feel the change again, he started matching all his spirit power with this increase, his total spirit characteristic should be about fourteen units.
It doesn't sound so suggestive, but the characteristic of the spirit of ordinary people is about 3-4 units. This is 3-4 times more than that of ordinary people.
At this point, Nami has a strange feeling that Ron has become a little brighter.
In the end, the argument ended with Ron winning.
No matter how fiercely Nami argued, there was no changing the fact that she was only fourteen.
During the argument, Nami tried to deceive Ron several times, but he reacted immediately each time and did not allow Nami to win the argument.
This surprised Nami, who didn't think Ron was any smarter than he looked.
Following Us in the speed of thinking and reacting correctly is certainly not a problem for Ron. Raising a spirit's stats isn't just about using magic. The spirit also represents thinking and wisdom, with the strengthening of the spirit, a person begins to think faster.
Otherwise, the speed with which an ordinary person thinks, how can you form a combination of 27 runes of 4th-order magic and even 81 runes for 5th-order magic!
Just memorizing so many runes will take an ordinary person a monstrous amount of time.
Sure.
Why strain your brain to resolve an argument when you have the power? Using magic to solve a dispute is great...isn't that right? One caste of legendary magic of the 5th order, any dispute will be resolved in an instant and even the whole world will be silenced.
...
The journey by sea was quite long.
Because we were sailing in a normal boat, there was no cabin or kitchen, you could only stock up on food and fresh water in advance.
Although there is a Nami that perfectly avoids bad weather conditions and sea currents, but even ordinary waves could touch the boat.
In his previous life, Ron had never been to the sea and at the moment it was not the most pleasant experience, fortunately, thanks to the high spirit, Ron is able to suppress mental discomfort.
Over time, he adapted to traveling by sea.
With the exception of smooth balancing on the waves, there are two tortures here: the supply of dry rations and fresh water. In addition, sleeping next to Us is a separate type of torture.
Although Ron knows that Lolita is most likely ready to defend herself at any moment, but it seemed that she was sleeping next to him and did not pay attention to anything.
At this moment, he could only stubbornly resist, constantly repeating: "I'm not a Lolicon, I'm not a Lolicon..."
Fortunately, Ron can meditate, in this state the spirit gets rid of emotions, a completely detached state. Although everything around is perceived, it does not affect thinking.
During the few days of the voyage, Ron meditated assiduously.
There is no need to practice the wind blade anymore, the skill level has reached a certain level and during training, progress will be very slow, increasing the spirit characteristic is a little more important at the moment.
After raising the spirit characteristic, thinking speeds up and Runes are built faster. There is a direct relationship between the speed of the caste and the characterization of the spirit.
The voyage lasted four days.
Because Ron is staying with Us, they didn't go to a peaceful island nearby, but headed straight for one of the largest island towns in the area.
Speaking of size, it's actually just an average island, much smaller than a large island capable of accommodating a country.
But because there is only this medium-sized island nearby, as the central area for a few small islands, a very busy trading city has emerged, even a Marine Patrol is stationed here.
Somewhere on the island.
Nami, hiding behind the wall, cautiously poked her head out and looked at the medium-sized moored brig.
It's a pirate ship, and Ron isn't impressed with the flag flying. It should be a small team of a few dozen people, quite common for East Blue.
The target is this pirate crew.
Although it is much easier to steal money from civilians, Nami is not going to do it. She will not pay attention to the poor man, her goal is the treasure of the bloody pirates or the rotten rich.
Although it is a risk, but the pirates ' treasure is undoubtedly more than that of ordinary people. A single success will bring huge profits and there will be no moral dilemma.
Ron also looked at the pirate ship.
But he has more goals than Nami, in addition to their treasures, there are several achievements that can be obtained.
After four days of swimming, his meditative practice reached sixty hours, and his spirit characteristic increased by 2 units.
This ship in front of your eyes can match many achievements. In addition to the treasure section, there are "Get the Brig", "First Battle", "Kill the Pirate" , etc.
If everything goes well, there is a hope to get 10 OD.
After that, the characterization of Ron's spirit can dramatically exceed twenty and approach thirty.
In Ron's mind, 20 spirit should be the lowest bar for learning 2nd-order magic, and 30 spirit for mastering it proficiently.
By mastering 2nd order magic, he can kill Arlong and be free in East Blue! Free to follow the achievement points!

Ron accidentally enters the world of Pirates, is saved by 14-year-old Nami, gets an achievement system and awakens the profession of the Supreme God of Law.
Achievement: Initial capital (get 10 million Belli)
Achievement: Disciplined Cultivator (1000 hours practice time)
Achievement: Mad Cultivator (practice time 10000 hours)
....
Somewhere in the sea, looking at the huge mushroom clouds and the destroyed land, Nami was stunned.
"Ron, you're saying that...Magic of the 5th order?"
"Yes, it's called Doomsday."

〖Main Character〗
Name: ???
Age: 7
〖Aliases〗
One-Eyed Daemon( Female)
〖Known Wished Abilities〗
Universal Projection
Unconditional Creation
All-inclusive Characterization
???
???
〖Known Learned Abilities〗
Spatial Movement: Teleportation 
Temporal Stop: Restrain
Temporal Judgement: Revert
Temporal Judgement: Halt
〖Current Bounty〗
??? - None
One-Eyed Daemon - 19 000 000 Beli

Warning: Parental Guidance is required.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A dark theme wish-fulfillment perverted evil scum overpowered OC with dick for a brain traveling throughout the fictional multiverse to debased, steal, and corrupt women.

Warning: Rated M+++
Plot = None
Cliche = Absolutely
Wish-Fulfillment = Entirely
OP = God-like
Full of Degeneracy = 100% 

You've been warned.

Reader's Qualification: Ages 18+

Note: English isn't my first language, so there will be many misspelled and grammar mistakes. Bare with it if you want to read. I've barely watched and read all the Anime that consisted of more than 12 eps or has a novel. Most knowledge comes from other fanfics, and wild guesses, so expect many incorrect information. Characters' personalities might differ from the original to satisfy the MC's wishful fantasy life.

Update Duration: 00.01%
Drop Rate: 99.99%

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