Total War System

LV 4

CursedSans

Great Story! But there are a few suggestions I have (Not trying to impose or be rude) 1. Instead of :Name: you should do something like this Name - or Name: 2. Maybe find a way to show when they are speaking or thinking such as using " " when speaking and { } or ( ) for thinking so that it is easier to tell 3. Try Incorporating more conversation between people, the fights are amazing but the characters feel underdeveloped 4. Have more detail for world building, such as describing the kind of weather (this is more important for battles and such as it can add a certain flair) or how a building or Town looks like (kinda confused as to what his city looks like ;-;) These are just suggestions and it is completely up to you whether to incorporate them or something similar/better. I am sorry if It seems rude and mean, I am just trying to help out an author with great potential :)

LV 15

sacredyeti

This Novel is absolutely amazing i started reading it today and the development is awesome I can not wait for more chapters to come out I HIGHLY recommend this to anyone and everyone. I also think the spelling errors give this story a quality because you can still understand what the author is trying to say. P.S if AUTHORSAMA is reading this I suggest yetitroops XD

LV 14

Jasonenrick

For all the people who want to expierience the ancient times where all the herotic legends faught, together with our MC who is going to conquer the Lands and will fight with the help of his system and his future knowledge ;)

LV 14

97Alex

I'm gonna be honest, the story seems interesting, though it's impossible to read, the writing is done so poorly that i almost deleted it from my library after reading the first few lines, but what made me drop it is the mc. I could get over the horrible writing, i could get over the lack of description of areas, the inconsistency of time while travelling, but man, you have an mc that is a warmongering c*nt, a bastard that can give the order to kill, r*pe and pillage, someone who didn't give a single f*ck when he was talking with a naked woman that just got r*ped, basically my favorite type of mc, and when he is proposed an alliance by marriage, you turn him in a little stuttering and blushing beta b*tch that gets laughed at, thats when it got too much for me, good luck with it.

LV 13

Fresh_Linens

My biggest turn off is that the author refuses to use decent grammatical punctuation. I couldn’t make it past the fourth chapter because of it. If your not hung up on grammar and spelling then this MC has some potential.

LV 12

Ascathon_Asceron

Not worth of time mc is a pure dick like a kid. He wants to wipe a town full of civilians, just because he lost an attack. Also he does not treat his subordinates as human but just a piece on a chess board. Also worst of all it has no harem the author promised someone that it will not have harem damn. The only reason i started reading this is because im a fan of Total war too. But im not here for a maniac character that attacks an enemy without a proper reason at all. Ohh sorry he have a reason it was he wants the town. But he attacked without putting down a table first and discuss what he wants. And thats a big no no!!!

LV 4

fhxt

Awful grammar, spelling. Wish fulfillment to the max.dont read it,........................... .mm........................................ .......

LV 5

synncrytech3

Has extremely poor writing, but if the author could just edit his chapters it would make for a good story, probably. -----------------------------------------------

LV 11

Nathan_Hinds

I review my own Work as a 3 star due to its my first time I know i am not Good with Grammar and stuff But i believe the story is good and has many ways to go and the characters are also good some have said the characters need more In-depth actions based on them so i also took that in to account when giving my own review i also took in to account that my way of Point of view is also mostly done from MC point of view so that's also a negative But all in all from a neutral point I would honestly give my own Novel a 3 star maybe 3.5 this is an honest review of a reader not as the author

LV 11

Skyhunter1

Most likely a kid that made this and doesn’t really give good land design or good character build, story is really rushed and poor build up everywhere, but the concept of the story is nice but really wish he add more back story or build up around a city not just keep moving along with no build up. hard to imagine the land or anything since the author thinks we already have it pre download but if you want to read a book with poor quality and poor characters design then step right up and read this baby. No hard feeling author just an honest review.

LV 14

Virtuosso

I could actually feel my brain cells dying trying to read this messed up writing. Just throwing words around doesn’t make a story. Stop this madness for all that's good!

LV 1

Hu_Ho

i dropped the Story because i dropped my phone because the potential is good but the writing style is horrible and Paragraphs make no sense and the thought alone to sit through this for another 120 chapters only because the potential is luring me onwards while there is no propper punctuation is giving me a Stroke. this is how it is to read this novel.

LV 4

Kurosis

Just found this gem. Cant believe this flew under my radar. Full marks the story and characters makes up for all the grammar mistakes. Hope author will continue this one day.

LV 2

OppressedBeans

Although this book has a good story line going on and its future could be bright because of how interesting the story would be. But I have to be honest all the other reviews must have not read the story at all, because the writing is absolutely trash. The writing is sloppy and there is many errors in it, the writer didnt take the time to go over the story, fix it and put words like IDK to slow down the time it takes to write the words properly like you would do in text. If your too lazy to fix your sloppy writing then please do not make a story at all. If you want help for your story to fix the errors and problems so it’s proper english writing or somewhat feasible english writing since my skills would be considered amature, I’d be glad to help.

LV 13

Skabold

Grammar is horrible. Author don't read what he is writing. Wright instead of write. 1 instead of 1. A lot of stuff like LOTR. No idea what it is. Same with a lot of world like Skaven etc. Author believe everyone play / read / watch all the same stuff he do.

LV 14

Virtuosso

Dude! just use grammerly! its like reading a two year olds writing pad. the concept is good, but you trashed it so badly its impossible to read

LV 15

Pumpkin_King10

The book is amazing there so much to it. sometimes you can read it and think what the hell am i reading but most of the time is crazy good.

LV 5

TachibanaShiro

Tank yu for the chapter. Always a pleasure reading this.Tank yu for the chapter. Always a pleasure reading this.Tank yu for the chapter. Always a pleasure reading this.Tank yu for the chapter. Always a pleasure reading this.

LV 14

UnspeakableBlitz

I honestly forgot I added this book to my libary, but when I decided to start reading it I was not let down and this is actually a really good story.

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