Naruto: My Unique System

LV 5

SaishoMysteriarch

I happen to need more reviews under my belt to get an achievement and this has potential so might as well. No need to dance around it long story short, writing style. This story reads more like an academic paper than a fanfic and that is no complement. The words used are just way too sophisticated (accolades, tumultuous, etc). I'm not a native English speaker but I think that I have some pretty good vocabulary, so it's not often and even rare that I have to stop and Google what words mean. And this isn't just the way things are described in third person this also affects the way characters talk, kids shouldn't be talking the same way mediaeval scholars Flirt, no matter how mature they are or even if one of them is reincarnated (except if he came from mediaeval nobility in his past life), in general no one speaks like that, not in this world. This a naruto fic not the retelling of captain Holt's childhood. Okay past all of that let's leave this on a good note no need to leave a bad aftertaste. The Characters are pretty good so far (chapter 7) and the situations are genuinely funny. The system hasn't been shown too much yet but it's the first time I have seen one like it so that's always a plus. Overall a good story held back by the way it's written, I won't assume how you end up with this final product, but a last minute edit by hand to make it more natural will make some massive improvements. Just in general if it's not in a 13 year old's vocabulary it shouldn't be in the fic, at the very least not as often as it is now.

LV 4

meHzyk

a very interesting story, especially on the premise that he will be a kind of best friend to Minato (at least that's what I deduced) if he isn't, that's okay too. the protagonist also the design of my brother gintoki, one of the best protagonists.

LV 14

Jantipopo

ai is strong on this one 🙂🙂

LV 14

Derami

obvious AI grammar. Due to it feels like all characters are medieval nobles using flowery speech to the extreme + alot of internal dialogue. Example, Instead of: "He goes to open the door." The grammar is: "With tumultous effort and strength he, with great dedication and perseverance opens the door wondering how he got to this moment as if all the woes he previously went through were not enough to keep the door open for easier access." then extra change some words to ancient grammar and you get it. Not recommending. I really dont't understant those who use this kind of AI grammar, it is just so unnatural and forced...

LV 13

ProfaneImmortal

As of ch. 80: decent enough writing, and a fresh plot. The characters have similar personalities to the original work. No romance yet. I recommend it.

LV 14

Nobume_Imai_5090

I rarely leave review but man this Novel is one hell of a journey. - The MC is genuinely good and wholesome guy unlike 99 percent of Naruto fanfic out there who is “psychopath 8 year old with OP skills” - The cast are also great and feels alive, the friendship between MC and Minato is a breath of fresh air. - The plot is good and the system is not so overbearing. Thank you Author!

LV 1

sakuraii

Great read so far

LV 14

wisdomseeker

It was great so far, keep going i like the concept too

LV 3

vinvenmazel

what's the Chinese Mtl name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .?

LV 2

Sceat

Is this a work of translation? If yes, can you give its original name? Aaaaaâjdjskskskskkskkdkfkfkjdjdkzjdjzjzjdkskskskdkdkskskdkdkkfkfkdkdkfkdkdk

LV 4

Ashir_Ahmad

the story is okay. I like that the system is very balanced but the mc is just a little too light hearted. He is unable to overcome his views from earth so he is unable to kill till like chapter 80 and 100 both being very extreme cases. the story is quite light hearted if you wanna see MC having many friendly competitions and being friends with minato go for it but if you wanna read about the grim part of the world i dont think this is the novel for you. i have seen some spelling mistakes, I don't care much about grammar as long as it's readable. overall i think 3.6 is quite a good rating for this FF. if you liked the making bonds portion of Naruto then give it a try

LV 2

Hallowed666

Can't wait for more!

LV 4

demigod0414

Why this MC looked like Minato puppy? Where is Minato, there is he. MC get any jutsu. He gift this technique to Minato without any hesitation. I expect in the future he use Shiki fuujin on Kyuubi instead of Minato.

LV 3

mantaege

its not bad i actually like it i like that he is minato best friend i think bc his interaction is in all 30chapters i like that mc dont change cannon like that hes not gonna stole kushina from minato well writing okay but maybe little chatgpt vibes

LV 2

ShriNG

tysm........................................................................................................................................................

LV 3

Abir_Mahmood

Tatsuma should establish the following institutions when he becomes hokage- 1.Ninjutsu Research institute.(chief of this institution should be orochimaru and vice chief Yakushi kabuto) 2.Genjutsu hall.(it should function like a cinema hall but instead of cinema the audience can enjoy carefully crafted genjutsu.The uchiha ,kurama and yuhi clan should run this institution.) 3.Flying Thunder god squad.(Leader -Minato) 4.ANBU(Chief -sakumo hatake) 5.Eight Gates squad.(Leader -Might Duy) 6.Instantaneous Transport (Transportation company,Goods and person transported using flying thunder god throughout fire nation and ninja world, Owner -Tatsuma) 7.Fresh produce(Agricultural produce company,tatsuma uses wood release to grow various edible plants ,Owner-Tatsuma) 8.Hostel(Here the orphaned children who have the potential to become ninja resides while attending the ninja academy, Caretaker -Yakushi Nono.)

LV 3

Abir_Mahmood

When tatsuma becomes hokage he should implement an elective system in konoha ninja academy.when students complete 6 years study in one or two years (Itachi and kakashi) or the academy can't guide them because they have already mastered and understood the curriculum they can select an elective for further studies.The electives can be-advanced academics, chakra control,ninjutsu,taijutsu,genjutsu,kenjutsu,basics of medical ninjutsu, sealing jutsu, information collection, assassination, seduction, reverse seduction etc.The person who comes first in an elective will receive an A rank jutsu and 2nd place B rank 3rd C rank and if a person manages to come 1st in all electives or most of them he/she will receive an S rank or forbidden jutsu. Tatsuma should create hostel for ninja academy students who are orphans this way their daily needs will be fulfilled (cooking, cleaning, healthcare, washing clothes,)and they can focus on training. He should establish the Eight gates squad and flying thunder god squad.If hiruzen disagrees with him he should point to orochimaru,jiraiya,minato and himself to show that civilians have great ninja talent and should be nurtured.

LV 5

BrabbitX

Garbage AI translation. Needs a human to editor to make it readable for normal humans. Garbage AI translation. Needs a human to editor to make it readable for normal humans.

LV 1

NeaCambelt

Tu as oublier de préciser que c une traduction MTL [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]