Chapter 167: A Grimpt Evening...
Michael bites back a snort as he hears the third voice, easily recognising it as Derflinger. Clearly he wasn't enjoying his new owner's usage of him... He couldn't be blamed though, by the sounds of it, Grimpt was one crazy bastard.
He climbs down the hatch and glances around the gloomy one-way hallway, taking note of how... Moist... Humid everything felt. There was slight mould on the walls and the stone ground was damp. Looks like this place had a serious leaking problem, not really surprising in the 'Land of Rivers'.
He walks past a couple cells which are littered with both skeletons and slowly decomposing corpses, ignoring them as he gets closer and closer to the sound of torture. The victim seems to have died by now judging by the lack of protestations, but the sound of cutting flesh continues despite it.
Michael eventually finds the open cell where a man in full plate armour, presumably Nicholas Grimpt, was slashing as a bloody corpse chained to the wall. "Hah! Hah! Hah! Take that you traitorous assassin swine! HAHA!"
Derflinger sniffles in the man's hand, "Please! He's already dead, just use a knife instead! Stop swinging me at a corpse you crazy halfwit!" the sword exclaims, a small piece of metal on its hilt clinking as it mimics the movement of a mouth.
Grimpt stops momentarily and stares down at Derflinger, "You are lucky your lack of limbs stops you from being a threat to me! Otherwise, I'd have chained you up and interrogated you as well!"
"And you're lucky I haven't head-butted you already, moron!" Derflinger angrily retorts but goes silent as Grimpt start slashing the corpse attached to the wall again.
Michael had seen enough frankly and quietly enters through the cell's open door. He draws his sword and approaches the back of the man as he manically abuses the corpse with reckless abandon.
It take a moment for Michael to locate the best place to strike the man, as his full plate armour protected him almost entirely. He was tempted to just turn the guy's brain to mulch with a heavy object, or maybe fry him with magic, but decides to test if he'd properly adopted Riki's teachings vs armour.
*Clank!*
Michael stabs forwards towards the side of Grimpt's neck, but just as he ends the man a flash of light blocks the strike and sends him stumbling backwards, "Fucking really!? More enchanted condoms to protect dick head nobles!?" he growls as an unseen pendant turns to dust under Grimpt's armour.
The man himself rapidly spins around, his eyes bloodshot under his helmet as he points Derflinger at Michael, "YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD COME, ASSASSIN! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!"
"Just shut up and die already!" Michael grumbles in response.
"P-partner! Save me from this guy! I'll do anything! I-I'll even go back to the store this guy bought me from!" Derflinger exclaims upon seeing some potential change to his hopeless situation.
"SHUT UP SWOOoooOORD!" Grimpt shrieks, sounding almost like a certain Lemon-Grimpt character, despite how his voice was muffled by his helmet.
Michael easily avoids the psychopath's manic swings, attempting again to stab him in the throat, only for yet another artifact to save him. "Just how many of those things do you have!?" he growls, getting really tired of these damned nobles.
"None of your BEESWAX! FOOL!" Grimpt shouts as he attacks yet again, but Michael easily avoids it yet again while placing his back against the bars of the cell, baiting Grimpt to attack again. He does so, and Michael turns and allows the Derflinger to get caught in between the bars, allowing Michael to use it as leverage to disarm the man with a kick to his armoured wrist.
*Clank!*
"I'mmmm FreeeeeeEEEEEeEEEee!"
Michael ignores Derflinger's shout of joy and barrels into the now weaponless Grimpt, forcing him to the ground and tearing off the man's helmet, his nose scrunching at the fucking awful stench of the man's body. It smelt like he hadn't bathed in weeks, or taken his armour off for that duration.
"Geeeeet offff meeEEEEEE!"
Michael glowers at the man and drives his foot straight into his mouth... *Flash!*, yet another artifact gone.
*Smack!*
*Flash!*
*Smack!*
*Flash!*
"Seriously, what the fuck!" Michael yells, wondering if this guy had bought every single artifact Tristain had to offer. He grabs a chain that is tucked around the man's neck and tries to pull it off, realising that the artifacts were probably hanging from there. Only for another flash to go off and push him away.
Seriously, this was getting really fucking annoying.
"Alright, fine!" Michael growls, grabbing Derflinger and walking out of the cell, closing the door behind him and casting Serpent Wards inside to surround Grimpt. The man screams as all the spirit snakes bare down on him and start firing a barrage of flame darts like a ten barrelled machine gun... And with that sorted, he leaves and heads for the exit with Derflinger in hand.
"P-partner, you sure that guy is definitely finished? He deserves the deepest darkest pits of hell for what he's done... Using me against corpses..." the sword mutters, sounding scared, even.
"And for killing all of those innocents, right?" Michael prompts.
Derflinger's metal-mouth clanks open and closed as he 'corrects' himself, "Oh, of course... Of course. That too... But Partner, those people's suffering is only temporary... Mine is forever."
...
"You know, you're pretty edgy for a sword, aren't you..." Michael mutters, wondering how a sword could have an aversion to slicing flesh, or corpses to be specific... Would he be upset at cutting a living person who turns to a corpse as a result of his attack?...
Derflinger chuckles, "Right you are partner, I am the edgiest of swords around! They call me Derflinger! The legendary sword Derflinger!"
"I'm Michael, the Gandalfr, good to meet you Derflinger."
"Gandalfr!? I-... Think I've heard of that somewhere!... Probably? But listen, what're you gonna do with me now?... If you're undecided, I have an idea that might suit us both well, especially with that piece of scrap at your side... Why not keep me!?... Please?... Don't throw me away..."
Michael lets out a breath, "I'll keep you, 'partner', but we're going to need to job your memory and get that rust scrubbed off of you before I'm using you for anything." he explains, getting some happy clacking from Derflinger in response.
"I'll not disappoint, Partner! I promise on my... Er, my word! You can definitely trust a talking sword on its word! It's like, the only thing we really have!"
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