24Reviews
4.34
- Writing Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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usually I wouldn't write a comment on any kind of fanfic , but this deserves one . The pace is really good it's smoothand flows without hurting my brain ,the backroung is great we have an overview about a lot of things that are interesting , our MC is likeable and doesn't act like a moron and if he does its because he's still a kid (and for me it's understandable ) we also have a picture of hiruzen which describes him perfectly as he's neither a bad guy nor an overly loving gramps , he's just incompetent like really . I know a lot of people won't like this FF because it's either "not fast enough" or there's no " harem" or no "romantic interest" let me tell you this is not a fiction written by some kid , don't try to corrupt the Story with your infantile mind.
It's decent, but theres's far too much angst about the same topic. Its repetitive and gets kinda annoying. Also, author, I recommend using Grammarly or running the text through chatgpt to weed out spelling and grammar errors. Good luck with the rest of your story, but so far, it's not for me.
Writing Quality- 4 ✧✧✧✧Obviously not perfect, but it's great, unnoticeable, uncommon mistakes. Sometimes there are odd moments where there's huge walls of text or times where a paragraph could be better broken up, and also the lack of indicators of who is talking sometimes when mc and Naruto talk, but over all good enough for me.Story Development- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧I like the route it's going, but admittedly it's not for everyone. I like the realistic twist we have on the character development. But again, not for everyone, with the recent depression coming up, some people *cough* insecure incels *cough* can't take it when the mc isn't a gigachad megamind edgelord cucking harem overlord. So obviously that on top of the slow paced slice of life will turn some readers away. But I personally like it.Character Design- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧I like John's -Now Haruko- character design. Again, a bit more realistic, not some "Self proclaimed loser." who just so happens to have moments of "Oh, I forgot I used to do this!" moments at convenient times. Nope, it's just a normal guy learning and experiencing the world in a normal manner. Again, the design of the character will obviously not be everyone's cup of tea, since even though he has powers related to killing, he isn't a murder hobo. A few have even refered to him as a "goody two shoes." I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I will say that he is a generally good person. Childish at times, and overly mature at others. Whether this was intentional or a writing mistake is unknown, but I'm inclined to believe it's the former. Update Stability- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧A solid 4 or 3 chapters a week in accordance to the authors bi-daily upload schedule that he's only missed once up until know. Very satisfactory Overall - 4.8 ✧✧✧✧✧I enjoy the story and I personally have no complaints at all. I enjoyed my binge read, and I'll be awaiting the next update.
Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Dropped
only 4 Stars for Update stability since you made me an addict and don't have enough chapters :PWell tbh 1000 wouldn't be enough.if you were wondering I love it so far. nothing is better than an op character who actually has a character and his own problems.
the quality of the writing - I read through an auto-translator, in almost every paragraph there is an untranslatable word or an incorrect one - that means a lot of mistakes. stability updates - read 10 chapters in one gulp and decided to stop. I can’t judge because I spent only 20 minutes of my time, so 3/5 The development of the plot - it does not develop in any way. too many #slice_of_life . character design - too many logical inconsistencies and inappropriate behavior of most characters. the actions of the protagonist raise doubts about the presence of his brains (and no need to talk about conscience, mc, etc.) the background of the world - nothing was told. nothing at all. no clarifications. even knowing what a chakra is, etc. I didn't understand his chakra system. how should he develop? bottom line - the idea of the story is good, but it, not the execution, but the presentation to us as readers - none, there are no distinctive or positive parts for which I could continue reading. everything is going too slow. too many children's disputes / unnecessary conversations. I'm sorry, but this is a fanfiction for people who have ALREADY seen / read the canon, no explanations, but a lot of unnecessary emotions. as well as the dubious logic of the actions of all the described characters, especially the main character. (I'm not asking him to train from age two, or to be an unkillable Marty Sue at age 6). the actions of the protagonist show that knowing the canon, breaking it, he does not even think about it at all. he is Naruto's doggy. this is all i have read in this story. Google translate.
Overall I give the story a 2.6/5. If I were to ignore the fact that this is the authors first story, this would be the result. However for a first try I would personally rate it a 3.6 or a little bit higher as its main flaw is the authors inexperience with creating storylines that are coherent and sensible, and characters that feel believable. The author seemingly has potential as long as they properly think out the development of the story. The story has average writing quality, generally unnoticeable mistakes unless you look for them, but a few issues here and there for legibility. Generally the story doesn't captivate or immerse the reader well enough to warrant the full five.(4/5) About two chapters a day, 12 hours between each post. I suspect there will be a hiatus eventually, but that is just a suspicion. (4/5) The story development follows an awkward and sometimes bizarre path of logic, while managing to follow tropes poorly in some cases. An example being the commonly found evil second personality trope, this is done pretty poorly due to the fact that it comes along out of nowhere and isn't developed in a proper way. Another example being the jump in logic Sarutobi makes when sending the protagonist to the orphanage.(1/5) The character design is poor at best, Kakashi doesn't feel like Kakashi, Naruto feels like Generic Charismatic Character Number #612. The main character is also bland and unappealing, in the chapters I have read there has been no underlying goal or ambition set for the protagonist. (2/5) World background unfortunately isn't much better, uses fanfiction tropes for Naruto. Tropes like him getting stoned as a child, which is done especially poorly due to the fact that this is explained when they are four, by which most children even if as strong as a normal adult would have broken bones or dying if hit in the head with a stone thrown by an adult who would probably not hold back. (2/5)
Naruto if it happened in North America .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Tiydiyxkyxoyoyditdoyditsydoydpycjvivudydyfigigihigigigufigovkvjcufufivivkvud ryclhyd dyfigigigufufyfugigigufysydjvkvhfydufivib dyfigigigufufyfugigigufysydjvkvhfydufivib fhewraqrtwdhhj
It's a great Naruto fanfiction!! I like it!!! 😁👍👍 It have a great story/plot and great english/translate.. I like that MC/Haruko have an interesting power.. He can absorb others to get their memory and skill, he also can absorb bio mass to strengthed his body.. Hope he can get stronger soon and change many thing like Uchiha massacre and maybe kill Danzo sooner.. Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 😁👍😍😍
I'm seeing A LOT of potential for the this story. The Mc isn't some edge lord and seems genuinely nice and he doesn't just see the world as some game or book. Please give it a read.
I won't slim it for the readers I'll just say that the fanfic hooks you up and had nice speed of development, oh and question for author san who'll be the love interest/interests? because I do hope there's a bit of romance even if soft one
Very good. Everything is great 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 and please take care of yourself Author.
the best fan fiction I've ever read, it's a good idea, fast paced, and the amount of updates makes me very happy lol
It’s good so far, can’t say much since there’s only 6 chapters atm. Grammar is great for Webnovel though so you won’t get a headache trying to read it lol.
Shameless 5 star review. As mentioned in the synopsis this is my friet sttempt at writing a fan fiction. As such please be gentle, and help me along the way
usually I wouldn't write a comment on any kind of fanfic , but this deserves one . The pace is really good it's smoothand flows without hurting my brain ,the backroung is great we have an overview about a lot of things that are interesting , our MC is likeable and doesn't act like a moron and if he does its because he's still a kid (and for me it's understandable ) we also have a picture of hiruzen which describes him perfectly as he's neither a bad guy nor an overly loving gramps , he's just incompetent like really . I know a lot of people won't like this FF because it's either "not fast enough" or there's no " harem" or no "romantic interest" let me tell you this is not a fiction written by some kid , don't try to corrupt the Story with your infantile mind.
It's decent, but theres's far too much angst about the same topic. Its repetitive and gets kinda annoying. Also, author, I recommend using Grammarly or running the text through chatgpt to weed out spelling and grammar errors. Good luck with the rest of your story, but so far, it's not for me.
Writing Quality- 4 ✧✧✧✧Obviously not perfect, but it's great, unnoticeable, uncommon mistakes. Sometimes there are odd moments where there's huge walls of text or times where a paragraph could be better broken up, and also the lack of indicators of who is talking sometimes when mc and Naruto talk, but over all good enough for me.Story Development- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧I like the route it's going, but admittedly it's not for everyone. I like the realistic twist we have on the character development. But again, not for everyone, with the recent depression coming up, some people *cough* insecure incels *cough* can't take it when the mc isn't a gigachad megamind edgelord cucking harem overlord. So obviously that on top of the slow paced slice of life will turn some readers away. But I personally like it.Character Design- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧I like John's -Now Haruko- character design. Again, a bit more realistic, not some "Self proclaimed loser." who just so happens to have moments of "Oh, I forgot I used to do this!" moments at convenient times. Nope, it's just a normal guy learning and experiencing the world in a normal manner. Again, the design of the character will obviously not be everyone's cup of tea, since even though he has powers related to killing, he isn't a murder hobo. A few have even refered to him as a "goody two shoes." I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I will say that he is a generally good person. Childish at times, and overly mature at others. Whether this was intentional or a writing mistake is unknown, but I'm inclined to believe it's the former. Update Stability- 5 ✧✧✧✧✧A solid 4 or 3 chapters a week in accordance to the authors bi-daily upload schedule that he's only missed once up until know. Very satisfactory Overall - 4.8 ✧✧✧✧✧I enjoy the story and I personally have no complaints at all. I enjoyed my binge read, and I'll be awaiting the next update.
Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Lololololololololololololololololololololololo Dropped
only 4 Stars for Update stability since you made me an addict and don't have enough chapters :PWell tbh 1000 wouldn't be enough.if you were wondering I love it so far. nothing is better than an op character who actually has a character and his own problems.
the quality of the writing - I read through an auto-translator, in almost every paragraph there is an untranslatable word or an incorrect one - that means a lot of mistakes. stability updates - read 10 chapters in one gulp and decided to stop. I can’t judge because I spent only 20 minutes of my time, so 3/5 The development of the plot - it does not develop in any way. too many #slice_of_life . character design - too many logical inconsistencies and inappropriate behavior of most characters. the actions of the protagonist raise doubts about the presence of his brains (and no need to talk about conscience, mc, etc.) the background of the world - nothing was told. nothing at all. no clarifications. even knowing what a chakra is, etc. I didn't understand his chakra system. how should he develop? bottom line - the idea of the story is good, but it, not the execution, but the presentation to us as readers - none, there are no distinctive or positive parts for which I could continue reading. everything is going too slow. too many children's disputes / unnecessary conversations. I'm sorry, but this is a fanfiction for people who have ALREADY seen / read the canon, no explanations, but a lot of unnecessary emotions. as well as the dubious logic of the actions of all the described characters, especially the main character. (I'm not asking him to train from age two, or to be an unkillable Marty Sue at age 6). the actions of the protagonist show that knowing the canon, breaking it, he does not even think about it at all. he is Naruto's doggy. this is all i have read in this story. Google translate.
Overall I give the story a 2.6/5. If I were to ignore the fact that this is the authors first story, this would be the result. However for a first try I would personally rate it a 3.6 or a little bit higher as its main flaw is the authors inexperience with creating storylines that are coherent and sensible, and characters that feel believable. The author seemingly has potential as long as they properly think out the development of the story. The story has average writing quality, generally unnoticeable mistakes unless you look for them, but a few issues here and there for legibility. Generally the story doesn't captivate or immerse the reader well enough to warrant the full five.(4/5) About two chapters a day, 12 hours between each post. I suspect there will be a hiatus eventually, but that is just a suspicion. (4/5) The story development follows an awkward and sometimes bizarre path of logic, while managing to follow tropes poorly in some cases. An example being the commonly found evil second personality trope, this is done pretty poorly due to the fact that it comes along out of nowhere and isn't developed in a proper way. Another example being the jump in logic Sarutobi makes when sending the protagonist to the orphanage.(1/5) The character design is poor at best, Kakashi doesn't feel like Kakashi, Naruto feels like Generic Charismatic Character Number #612. The main character is also bland and unappealing, in the chapters I have read there has been no underlying goal or ambition set for the protagonist. (2/5) World background unfortunately isn't much better, uses fanfiction tropes for Naruto. Tropes like him getting stoned as a child, which is done especially poorly due to the fact that this is explained when they are four, by which most children even if as strong as a normal adult would have broken bones or dying if hit in the head with a stone thrown by an adult who would probably not hold back. (2/5)
Naruto if it happened in North America .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Tiydiyxkyxoyoyditdoyditsydoydpycjvivudydyfigigihigigigufigovkvjcufufivivkvud ryclhyd dyfigigigufufyfugigigufysydjvkvhfydufivib dyfigigigufufyfugigigufysydjvkvhfydufivib fhewraqrtwdhhj
It's a great Naruto fanfiction!! I like it!!! 😁👍👍 It have a great story/plot and great english/translate.. I like that MC/Haruko have an interesting power.. He can absorb others to get their memory and skill, he also can absorb bio mass to strengthed his body.. Hope he can get stronger soon and change many thing like Uchiha massacre and maybe kill Danzo sooner.. Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 😁👍😍😍
I'm seeing A LOT of potential for the this story. The Mc isn't some edge lord and seems genuinely nice and he doesn't just see the world as some game or book. Please give it a read.
I won't slim it for the readers I'll just say that the fanfic hooks you up and had nice speed of development, oh and question for author san who'll be the love interest/interests? because I do hope there's a bit of romance even if soft one
Very good. Everything is great 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 and please take care of yourself Author.
the best fan fiction I've ever read, it's a good idea, fast paced, and the amount of updates makes me very happy lol
It’s good so far, can’t say much since there’s only 6 chapters atm. Grammar is great for Webnovel though so you won’t get a headache trying to read it lol.
Shameless 5 star review. As mentioned in the synopsis this is my friet sttempt at writing a fan fiction. As such please be gentle, and help me along the way
Not a perfect five since it was just started back up