/ Anime & Comics / RWBY: the fallen one
Synopsis
sora's life was terrible his mother used him for target practice his father and elder sister used him as a training dummy his younger sister also used him as a training dummy and his aunt not only used you as a training dummy but she also rapes sora constantly the only person who somewhat cared and tried to help you was your uncle one day a stranger in a cloak handed you a suitcase with the ability to escape inside he said that when sora gets so desperate open the case and that will help him escape but once he does he's on his own since the stranger was dying and what's inside will carry on the legacy
~disclaimer~ this is a fanfic of RWBY however I will be using quite a few weapons from different shows for his armament as he does have many weapons also i use punctuation literally never so sorry before hand oh and he and his friends are very overpowered
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19Reviews
2.2
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Well, I was just scrolling through the list of updated novels when I found this. I have never expected anything like this... At least you could have improved the story... When I first started to read this I was like is this guy for real... At least you deserve 5 stars for updates. But the rest of the story is just copy-paste of my fanfic which honestly I don't mind but you should have at least kept your word as in 1st chapter you said that MC doesn't want a system and the next chapter you force it unto him. And truthfully if building up reputation is just bullcrap. And if you make him join Rias then simply it won't work. Your MC is OP and she cannot revive him as her peerage member.
This is a clear cut copy of another fanfic. If I was your teacher I'd give you a 0 and send you home. In your first chapter, you said he wanted to be free and yet the system is pushing him to do stuff. (don't say the whole he needed rep bit that's bs he had a penalty losing his strongest move. He was forced.) I don't understand why you copied another fanfic when your idea was good. It's a true shame how this is playing out.
Complete rip-off of DXD: Golden King of Lucifer. Read that instead. Seriously, if you are going to write a fan-fic, atleast don't copy another fan-fic writer. And if you're going to do that anyway, make the story better. Sadly with your writing quality, that doesn't seem possible.
Well be This copy of the Golden King Lucifer, please do not give Rias Gremory to Vali DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN
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Found this on recommendation of the author of DxD Golden King of Lucifer so those low reviews cause of that are not all that necessary read if you like.
I'm sorry to say this but.... It's dissapointing.. Copied from another persons work with a little bit changed... . . Hope you can improve later.. Keep practice :)
grayfia and yasaka = wife. ................................................................................................................................................
Four things wrong with this story: 1st: In the Devil's Society being someone else's servant would mostly nullify his engagement to Sona (the Shinto gods would likely not allow their chief goddess to be betrothed to the servant of a devil), unless it was to her parents or older sister. 2nd: She could not have him join here peerage, the King must be stronger than the person they reincarnate. Also the Evil Peices should not be able to overwrite a more powerful bloodline. 3rd: It makes no sense that a Knight Piece would be able to upgrade his Sacred Gear. 4th: The mc has lost all of his cool points, and has become a bi**h of the system and a spoiled, lazy devil princess.
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So copied from the other story **** you dumb stealing ***** that steals other people story i hate people like you 😒 and should just quit this bullshit
Copy from another novel with changes. Poor writing Quality😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
if you rewrite to put him as a not servant. Everything else would be normal, because you know that here is illogical. if it was like issei that nisikiera can use his sacred equipment, ai if I don't tell you anything. but here it is something else, it is more powerful than the maous, for this part the majority will drop the story.
I would suggest the author to atleast make something of your own into this story. Since 90% is from the other, there is no difference in the story, for me it's like I am reading the same story all over again. And if I do prefer, I would choose the original. Hope the author understands my point of view.
THIS IS THE COPY OF DXD: GOLDEN LUCIFER THE DIFFERENCE IS THE ABILITY HAHAHA AND PLEASE AUTHOR REREAD YOUR OWN STORY HEHE YOU WILL COPY OTHER FANFIC BUT YOUR OWN STORY IS TRASH FULL OF HOLES! BLURGGG
Copy paste golden king of lucifer and inconsequential.........................................................................................
what is this?what is this?what is this?what is this?what is this?what is this? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
A cpy from another story the mc is powerfull but dont have pride and let other talk to him like he a little **** ,and he his forced to do what the system want in other word his wish to not be controled wasnt taken seriously
Reveal Spoiler
this is a copy and paste of another novel .........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
COPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPYCOPY
Somehow it feels like a copy paste and edit from the other fanfic dxd:golden king of lucifer. Another thing I dislike is that you don't follow your choice. The first chapter you mentioned about not wanting a system but you still added it in