/ Anime & Comics / Naruto: Red Storm
摘要
This is my first time writing anything. So suggestions are accepted.
English is my third language so I am trying to reduce grammatical errors as much as possible.
Naruto grew up without a shade, protection over him but what if he has a protection a sword, shield more than that a family - an elder brother "Uzumaki Hiroto". Lets see how different that journey will be.
Except my OC anything isn't mine. Cover image isn't mine if it's yours and want to remove it please let me know.
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
8評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
This is pretty good so far im really just waiting for the story to progress and ill adjust my review according to that........................
The premise and ideas are great but the narration and grammar makes this a difficult read. There is some sort of uncomfortable third person narration, where the author will occasionally info dump or expound on points like a narrator. On top of that, minor but consistent grammar mistakes and Inproper tenses makes this read very uncomfortably. 3.8/10, I cannot reccomend it and it is unfortunate because there are good ideas here.
I really like the story and am very curious to see how the plot progresses .
This is pretty good so far, can't wait to read more ;.....................................................................................................
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