wamlabish

I'm not sure why this site lets me review my novel, but constructive criticism is always appreciated! I am writing this mostly for myself, but if you took your time to read it, I appreciate you :D. Thanks for reading <3

Pretty enjoyable start. Good world building gives you a real sense of the location and scale. One random thing is that you use names a LOT, which can make some of the sentences kinda terse. Something some he's or shes or theys can make it a bit more readable.

I think that this novel most definitely has potential. I really enjoy these types of novels so I have some hope for this one. My main critique is the same as a couple of other reviews, both the verb tense and the pov are incredibly inconsistent. This can make what would otherwise be an enjoyable chapter a slog to get through. Best of luck!

I think that the idea of this novel is really well put together. I love when a character's power builds intrigue both in others and themselves. I only had one thing to critique, and that was your sentences can verge on the longer side, which can make prose a bit confusing at times. It in no way took away from the plot. Definitely a novel ill come back to later

There isn't much more to say here that hasn't already been said. The writing here is fantastic and you have yourself two super compelling main characters. I generally stay away from both contemporary and romance, but I think that this was a nice change of pace for me. Not quite 1 to 1, but it also gives a bit of the gritty dark spy romance itch I have had since I started spy x family

Tbh I am like, the target audience for this sort of novel. Over-the-top tragedy + reincarnation + 0 to hero are probably my top 3 genres so... I only have one critique glaring at me and it's the pacing of the first few chapters. I may be in the minority, but I love these sorts of reveals (memory returns) to have big build ups and be centered around more dramatic events. But that's just me :>

The prose here is pretty incredibly done. This is not generally my preference in genre, but the vivid descriptions made it easy to get caught up in the action. It most definitely stands out from the crowd from that alone. The amount of effort here is apparent.

I think that the general level of writing here is stellar. You do a great job of describing the world down to the important details. Two things of note: I do think that the paragraphs are a bit overwhelming at first glance. This may be my webnovel melted brain speaking but it could be a bit unapproachable for some. Also, the use of tense is pretty inconsistent, it kind of slowed me down and made me have to reread things sometimes.

I know you said this is for fun, so if you aren't looking for a serious critique feel free to let me know and I can delete this. I think that the concept of this novel is super fun, a bounce-around who knows what could happen next type of story has the potential to be a ton of fun. The only issue that I have is that this concept seems to be at the cost of meaningful pacing and character development. I kind of feel like I was told about jeager rather than having met them. Definitely has potential, though. Also the AOT reference is distracting for me but that's just for me.

I think that after the little introduction, you got into a stable grove and the quality was at a good level. I may recommend doing a second pass on the first few paragraphs, as I had to read it twice to fully get it. Other than that, good concept