life gives you a lots of chances to improve your self but it depends upon us how can we grap our opportunities. & pur happiness is on our hand don't put it on other's hand . our life is like a bicycle so ,try to balance it.

The sun shines brightly.
The trees sway in the wind.
The birds chirp as the sound of laughter fills the air.
Oh, what a wonderful day.

Hmm... is that what most humans say?
The Observer wonders why it is so wonderful.
Perhaps it is so because the sun fuels the planet and all life on Earth.
Perhaps it is so because the trees recycle carbon into oxygen, something which humans need to live.
Perhaps it is so because birds indicate a habitable environment and sing an aesthetically pleasing tune to the human ear.
However, there are so many negatives in the world to focus on, even in those few sentences.
Does it matter that beneficial factors exist when factors destructive to human survival move faster?
Of course this is on the assumption that the living organism wishes to live (which the Observer will take).
Although... the Observer has seen that most prefer to ignore all of it and live in ignorant bliss.
Or perhaps they pull another excuse out like, "You can't focus on negative things all the time."
The Observer wonders why though.
Is there something wrong with focusing on negative things?
Oh, right.
That's because humans won't be happy.
Right.
Happiness.
The Observer has always wondered why humans are so adamant in obtaining their happiness.
The Observer has heard it's addicting and feels good.
Hmm... where else has the Observer heard that before?
Well... never mind.
The Observer has gotten off track.
Though... what's wrong with increasing levels of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, etc. to feel happy then?
If the goal of life is to feel happy, why not?
Hmm... though most humans argue that it strips away a sense of self control...
But why do humans need self control?
Well, according to most humans, self control is needed to produce desirable results and to achieve goals.
And what is the goal?
To be happy...
To reach optimal happiness, humans should indulge themselves in drugs, but that strips away a sense of self control which is needed to produce optimal happiness.
Quite contradictory, isn't it?
Well, the second conclusion is that using drugs or "artificial happiness" is not as gratifying as living life happily.
But how does that work?
Well, the happiness is even greater after putting in the effort.
But what about the time spent working to the goal?
Was that a happy time?
Can't using drugs make you happy all the time?
Wouldn't that be better than to live short moments of happiness after achieving a goal?
What about the emptiness after achieving the goal?
Is that a happy time?

Well, the conclusion that the Observer has come to can be explained with an analogy to hunger.
"To a hungry person, every bitter food is sweet. When the preferable is not available, the available becomes preferable!"
                                                                                                                                                - Israelmore Ayivor
To a person starving for happiness, even small glimmers of happiness are cherished.
To a person constantly happy, their happiness grows into the norm.
Optimal happiness is a small glimmer of happiness in a world full of watered down happiness.
It is a split second of elation which can only be cherished by the memory of it, never to be replicated in memories.
And humans continue to suffer and toil to compare their worst moments to their best.
It is because happiness needs a comparison, the misery of pain.
Perhaps what humans perceive as happiness is how happy humans get compared to their lowest moments.
The perception of struggle and suffering and the happiness in achieving something, perhaps that is what colors life and makes it worth living for the humans of the planet of Earth.

Queries on life from the viewpoint of the Observer on the humans of the planet of Earth.

Early in the morning Xin come to the town to buy a new Limited Edition Doraemon Action Figure.

He see it on the internet last night before so he want to buy it to add to his collection.

Xin only have three things he likes.

One is collecting Doraemon Action Figure and some collective items.

Second is cultivating his garden and planting different kinds of seeds

And last is reading different kinds of books from knowledge books to entertainment books.

Xin hipping while humming, Xin is good mood today.

Suddenly his back shiver while his ahoge shaking like a maniac giving signal that there's an enemy in neer by.

Xin turn around to see but he did not see anyone,"Huh?"

"....was that just my imagination?"

Suddenly a creepy voice whispered in his ears.

,"Onii-chan do you know ..? what happiness is,"

Xin hurry step back he know that the enemy is already in his back.

When he turn around he sees a girl last time.

The girl gazing at him like a prey.

.....

Ding! Congratulation you receive Sub-Quest: Happiness?

Sub-Quest: Happiness?

Chaos come ask you what happiness is, your a good-hearted kid so you will teach her every thing you know.

Requirement:
Teach Chaos what happiness means

Duration: 1 day

Reward:1,000,000 Exp,1 loterry Ticket,Chaos Trust

.....

Xin now remember who she is,this kid is the Second Generation Angeloid that Ikaros and Astraea defeat.

He remember that in the original series she did lots of bad things she even kill Hiyori accidentally.

This little girl only wants to learn the meaning of Love but this time its Happiness.

It's easier to Xin to teach her because Xin knows lots of happy things.

Chaos ask," What is Happiness ~ Oni-Chan..?"

Xin walk closer to her and grab her hand, Xin said," Ok i will teach you happiness come with me …"

Then Xin take Chaos in the town, they come to a Doraemon Store to buy Xin's action figure.

Chaos ask," Why are  we here..?

Xin smile," Well im come here to buy the new action figure that just realise last night."

She asks," So that is happiness.."

Xin shake his head," Wait until we entered."

Xin and Chaos line up with others, because its weekend the store is pack with customers who want to buy items in that store.

After half an hour of waiting Xin and Chaos, funnily entered.

Inside of the store is like a Doraemon world, lots of posters,figurines and other staff is displayed here.

Xin then take Chaos in a DVD section and buy all Doraemon TV Series.

After that Xin rent a private space to watch the DVD that he buy.

Xin and Chaos enter and start watching.

Chaos is curious about what she seeing,she see that Nobita is beaten by the gorilla kid.

She asks," Is that happiness …. Get beaten by some one..?"

Xin shake his head," Just watch"

Chaos nod, then they both watch the whole episode.

They see the Nobita come to his robot friend and ask help after that his robot friend give him a device to help his problem but Nobita is an idiot so he fail to use the item that Doraemon give to him then eventually he failed miserable and learn his lesson.

Xin asks," Did you understand?"

Chaos said," I need a friend cat to be happy?"

Xin pa her head and said," Lets watch more so that you understand what happiness is."

Borth of them watch the remeaning episode after that Xin ask," Now do you understand"

Chaos confuse said,"Maye be a little..?"

Xin pat her head, Chaos like patting her head she don't know why but she feel warm and comfortable when he do that.

Xin said," Happiness comes when you feel satisfied and fulfilled."

"Happiness is a feeling of contentment, that life is just as it should be. Perfect happiness, enlightenment, comes when you have all of your needs satisfied."

Chaos," Feel satisfied and fulfilled..?

Then she stare Xin then his hand, she starting to understand what she feeling right now.

Xin see that its almost time for dinner so he need to go home.

The two of them walk out from the store and start to go home, Xin notice that she was barefoot.

So he said," Wait for me here.."

Chaos nod.

Then Xin run back to the near store to buy a pair of slipper.

After that he come back where Chos is.

He take her little foot and wear the new slippers that he buy.

Chaos asks," Is this happiness too?"

Xin said," No it's not its a slipper …. But if you feel happy to that then maybe your right"

Chaos suddenly smile and jump to hug Xin," Hey Oni-chan! I want to more happiness"

Xin said," Well it's already late so we need to go home"

Chaos tilted her head," Home?"

Then she suddenly remember something, then she run fast in the crowd Xin want to chase her but she was already gone.

Xin check his quest to see if he already complete it but it's not,Xin want to complete it but he fail.

He can only sigh then start to walk back home.

...….

The quest to find hope, dream and true love


Accompany Xin to find an answer to his question and find the path to become a god



2 chapters / days

Cover not mine I will make cover later

Grammar sometimes sucks but bear with it.


Like vote to support me thx guys.

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just a bait for bots! vote this up so WN will do something about it them!

The most challenging part of being a man in a relationship is to know what matters and to decide what is productive and fruitful. A successful relationship is not about grandeur, happiness, and vanity but it is about acceptance, satisfaction, and fulfillment of joy.

                        Happiness is not parallel to joy and woman happiness will never be a woman's joy. It is not identical both have a distinct magnitude. Happiness is a complex feeling that comes over when something pleasant and good happens. It is dependent on external happenings. Joy is evoked by peace and transcendence experience beyond the normal and physical level. Women wanted to have joy deep inside their hearts and soul. And a man should assess if he is bequeathing happiness or joy to his partner.

                      Giving gifts and other surprises will give happiness but understanding and care provide joy. If you are seeking for happiness in a relationship you will keep hoping that everything is enough. When your purpose as a man to your woman is to provide something that will make her happy you will later have a series of "what if" list. But if you pursue joy in your affair you will discover existential and longevity in your relationship with an authentic certainty that through rough and smooth you will still end up as a lover for life. 

                      Happiness is a process of life, for instance, you will be happy because made you a cup of coffee and disappointed when she didn't.   Joy is a way of life wherein you give your partner an assurance that your unwavering love will linger through everything. When a man has a joyful spirit his relationship will foster truth, respect, and peace.

                     Joy is closely linked to spirituality. When a man discovers his faith and evaluates his life, he will find joy. That joy will bring goodness in his relationship. And a joyful man can transform his woman into a marvelous grace who encompasses love and cheerfulness.

It takes 21 days to form a habit.

Baconery is a book that provides details on how to have emancipating power over your relationship.

Everyone aims for a rewarding and fulfilling relationship that does not dwell on physical intimacy but more on the emotional and intellectual connection.

Having a real gentleman habit, it will help transform your current relationship or your future affair into a celebration of bliss and soulful commitment. You will appreciate the gesture of participating rather than anticipating several issues that may dwell in your bond as a lover.

Baconery is a self-help book that acts as a food for every young, single, in relationship man and even married man who always overlooked the importance of a sustainable and a procreating love affair that should be vested on nurturing character.

We always thought that once we get the "Yes" of our lady we can gradually stop our sensitivity and our zest.

Women hate men who sleep in the middle of their phone conversation. Women don't like to receive snide remarks or jokes coming from you when you are with your peers. Women pretend to be okay when you are late in your appointment and will act nonchalantly. Most of the women are meticulous in your appearance each time you go on date or even in casual shopping so, never take this matter for granted.

These inappropriate behaviors of a man should be lessened and must be extinguished from his system.

This book will provide you 21 habits that will facilitate in helping you achieve an attainable and smart relationship.

Character rediscovery should be learned by heart, establish by the mind and perform by hands while building an empire of love to the woman you certainly cherish.

It is not just about love that will bring wellness in your affair but it is also about your habit that will spell good influence in your tale that you hope to live to tell.

There has always been this side of me that runs away from anything that makes me unhappy. I even spent my years using mental tricks like 'eating chocolate makes me happy' to get over sadness.

However, was what I did a good thing?

I avoided sadness, yet one day I had no choice but to come face to face with it without mental tricks.

When that happened, I wasn't ready at all... My lack of internalising all the hate and depression for so long made me forget how to do it. How is one supposed to be happy? How do you define it?

I tried defining my happiness, and found comedic videos as a result. However, how's a comedic video any different from anti-depressants? Where is that happiness that stays with me much longer?

The thing is that... No one can tell what truly makes them happy unless they lose it, causing them sadness... Then what are we supposed to do, check what makes us happy by making ourselves despair?

No, that is stupid decision. That is self-mutilation of the heart. You won't find happiness by seeking it.

You can find laughter, but you won't find happiness.

Absurd, isn't it?

You have only one choice. Accept your sadness along with your happiness. Or else you'll suffer?

Sadness, like happiness, is an intangible thing.

You may not know this, but despair also wants to be loved the same way you care for your happiness.

After all, without your sadness, how would you know that something was precious to you?

How would you know of loss? How would you know of guilt? How would you be motivated to change?

Without sadness, the world would be too blinding until it reaches the point of emptiness. You will grow tired of happiness if you can't contrast this emotion with sadness. Long live the era of negativity.

Are you feeling depressed? Are you unable to run away from your thoughts weighing down your heart?

Has the world become too depressing?

Then value your happiness, define what makes you happy, and achieve it. Be more than just 'sad'.

All our hearts are made from glass, when we get hurt, we lose a piece of ourselves and become unable to be fixed. How are we to return to that time? How are we to fix our broken hearts?

The answer to that is: Try the best you can.

You can't find all the pieces, if you do, you'll be hurt the same way again. You'll repeat the cycle.

Does the holes in your heart feel empty? Then please find pieces from someone else to fill them.

Who knows, maybe they have spares. Maybe they will have the advice that will fill in the gaps.

Can you not find anybody? You don't have friends?

It takes more that friendship to fill up those gaps and more than 'understanding' to fix a broken heart.

However, why are you in a rush to fix it?

Savour it a little, and maybe, you'll find the parts needed to fix it has been within you all along.

Define your happiness, savour your sadness, and live life like someone made of glass. Don't be resentful.

Don't blame the world, for it cannot give you comfort. All it can do is spin on its axis.

The world turns and twirls, ignorant of the people living on it. It does not know smiles or frowns.

Only we, the few, the many, know of them. We are the only ones who find them precious...

So how can give them meaning? Is the world destined to be unknowing of our emotions?

We want to be heard, seen, recognised. Our hearts want to know the sadness and happiness of others.

No, all we want is to selfishly let them know.

We want them to know that... we are all fine.

Our hearts are not in pain anymore. The tears are streaming, but our sadness makes us weak no more.

We now gain power from memories, whether they be good or bad. Let the world know, we now exist!

Band together and sing your hearts out. Achieve your dreams, and watch on as another achieves their own. Always be there for them, and maybe one day there will be a time. Someone will be there for you.

Just be happy and sad...

(Cover by Darkstar Dust)

This is a story I worked on ages ago that has been refined and edited by adding foreshadowing to events while also simplifying the power system better than before. This story can be considered a prequel to An Adventure Beyond Greatness as it takes place years prior to the events of that story.

Short Synopsis:
After retiring from the battlefield, my life became empty and lifeless. The regrets of my past haunt me in my sleep. Then a change occurred, a King from another world summoned me to fight for his kingdom, but I died even before I could give him my answer. Now, after a fake God allowed me to reincarnate (albeit imperfectly) with my memories intact, into a world filled with magic and swords.

Long Synopsis:
This is about a flawed protagonist who only knew to rely on others and not socialise who gets a second chance to change himself in order to live the life he aimed for in his past life. The narrator isn’t exactly trustworthy since it is purely in his bias perspective while other perspectives given by others fill in the blanks that he either leaves out or twists to suit the situation.

The story itself can be considered a parody of Isekai’s classic tropes which are given a sense of reality as time goes by. As there exists no ‘Demon Lord’, there is also no black and white, only characters opinions and counter-opinions throughout the story.

Wenren Chuchu bitterly smiled and said, "Master, if I didn't choose to follow you, if my father didn't believe I belong to the upper realm, I wouldn't be able to get rid of my fate as a princess. How would I regret?"

"Even if I will be cut into pieces in this world after living solitarily for my whole life…" She decisively said, "I wouldn't even think of going back to be a princess! That is why I have always been working so hard in cultivation."

Bing Xinyue was utterly wordless at the moment.

She just asked a random question to keep Wenren Chuchu talking, so that she wouldn't think of killing herself. However, the long speech of the life of a princess was unexpected.

If the rulers in Land of Han-Yang heard what Wenren Chuchu just said, they would all feel disdainful and indifferent. Even the citizens who had clear minds wouldn't agree with her theory. Since a princess was born with wealth, she was bound to pay for what she was granted. When a princess married a man in another country, it might be the mistreatment of the princess herself but was a blessing to the entire county. Sacrificing a prince exchanged the peace for all the people. A princess was born with the wealth and power that nobody else could have. If she also had freedom and all other pleasant things, it would be so unfair! Nobody got all the best things in the world!

However, Bing Xinyue was Wenren Chuchu's master and was also a woman. That was why she was shocked and touched!

"I never regret. I never have." Wenren Chuchu smiled and confirmedly said, "After the day I was free from the invisible chain of being a princess, I finally started my own life… I can…"

She paused and bravely said, "I can love whoever I love. I can do whatever I can for the people I love, I care, with all my heart. Maybe he doesn't know. Perhaps he doesn't want me to. Maybe he doesn't love me back…

"But I do it for my own life. I do things for the people I love to approach the happiness that I long for.

"That is the perfect path of a woman's life. I always do."

She bravely looked into Bing Xinyue's eyes and said in a low but clear voice, "Master, what do you think?"

Bing Xinyue embarrassedly turned over her head. After a while, she answered, "I don't know."

Wenren Chuchu smiled and weakly said, "Master… You look frosty, arrogant, isolate, but deep inside your heart, it is soft… If I am going to fight against you for something… you will probably lose."

Wenren Chuchu's dim eyes suddenly shined with a colorful glow. She powerlessly said, "Master… Sometimes you have to fight for happiness… Happiness is limited… Everybody wants it. One has to fight for it. I mean it.

"On the way to happiness… we can't waste our time in dignity and courtesy. They are obstructions that stop us from happiness… After all, you get it or you don't get it. That's the only possible ways!

"Happiness is all the same in all women's eyes… You get it, then you get happiness. I get it, then I get happiness… I am talking about the happiness that lasts for a lifetime.

"Master… you… you really need to make a change. Otherwise, no matter who you are fighting against… you won't get it…

"Happiness never drops into your hands… You have fight for it…"

Bing Xinyue stayed silent for a longer time.

Wenren Chuchu closed her eyes. It seemed she was too tired.

In her heart, she felt the bitterness and also relief.

[Master, I am sorry. I know I shouldn't have said these words to you no matter what situation it is… I… I am your disciple… I don't get to teach you anything…]

[Besides… we are rivals on this matter…]

[However, I am dying. Maybe tomorrow, we will never see each other again…]

[Master, you can survive this. Just leave me, and you will very likely be rescued. Rather than we both die in this place, I prefer you to survive and to become brave to fight for the happiness you deserve…]

[Don't hesitate. No matter who is standing in your way…]

[Otherwise, you won't get it…]

[Men's battle is full of blood and fire. Women's battle is calm and noiseless, but also full of blood!]

She closed her eyes, coughing heavily. She tried so hard to operate her spiritual power to recover herself a little. She was doing this, not to run away with Bing Xinyue, but… to be able to stay behind and fight for some time for Bing Xinyue. Even a few seconds could save her.

Wenren Chuchu felt complete for such a life!

The night was getting darker.

In the darkest moment, Bing Xinyue had a feeling that was warning herself in her heart. [Danger! Danger approaching!]

She started to have such feeling only in this escape.

She had no idea where she got such capability though. It was excellently useful, and always warned her at the right time!

During the long escape and fights, she realized her power was increasing.

Her power was boosting incredibly fast. Even though she was such an experienced cultivator, she had never heard of such a thing.

It seemed to be an accident, but she somehow felt reasonable…

It seemed a mysterious power had been hiding deep inside her body and it was waking up recently.

She took a deep breath, grabbed Wenren Chuchu, put her on the back, tied her up, and quietly flew away. She was heading in a different direction this time!

After the time of half pot of tea, three figures silently arrived at the place the two ladies had been resting in. They sneakily entered the cave-like three ghosts.

The three of them all operated their spiritual minds and withdrew them right away. Soon they waved their sleeves and flew out. "Targets are gone! They shouldn't be far… The incense was still warm. They must have left only a while ago."

"Transmit order!"

- Shoot Shoot Shoot… -

Several shooting fires rushed up to the sky. Suddenly the fireworks made a colorful sky. People within ten miles could all see it.

"Skip direction we came from. One of them is severely injured. It is impossible they will go the east since it is where we just came from. The south and the north have been occupied. They won't dare to go either. There is only one direction, West."

"Guys lets head to the west!"

"West! Seal all the tunnels! Don't miss anything!"

"Women are always the easiest to track." A slim old man showed a cruel smile and said, "No matter how they try to cover themselves, they never hide the smell of women. It is the hardest to cover the smell of nature."

"Let's go!"

The three people fleeted out.

…




















Ye Xiao was a superior cultivator in his previous life. The three factions of the Qing-Yun Realm killed millions of people every time they attempt to seize cultivation resources. Wealthy towns turn to wastelands in just a single night. They covered up their crime with assertion that the towns were suffering from pestilence and disasters.
They forcibly held all the resources for cultivation, monopolized all valuable practice materials, and kept outsiders from cultivating so that only their three factions could cultivate in the realm. Ye Xiao declared war against the three factions in retaliation of their actions. He fought alone and ended up dying in vain. However, he is reborn into the mortal body of a 16 year-old boy. He will use the powers he cultivated in his last life and slaughter his way back into the Qing-Yun Realm. The story begins!
------
Release Rate: 14 Chapters/Week; 1 chapter from Monday to Saturday, and 8 chapters every Sunday.

"Then...Goodbye, Sensei ... "


Xi waved goodbye to Li Yuan.


Li Yuan only smiled.


In Xi's heart, he was still reluctant to let Li Yuan return to Shanghai.


But, Xi feels unworthy to say everything in his heart.


So, Xi has forgotten and throw away the tightness in his chest.



He chose not to say anything.


Even though the feeling of tightness in his chest was getting worse.



***



Xi has returned to Li Yuan's Apartment. He drove a car owned by Li Yuan which had been used to take Li Yuan to Zhengzhou airport.


The apartment felt rather quiet. There were no more voices of Li Yuan singing merrily in the song "The cutest rabbit in the world" like a few days ago.


Xi has learned that the feeling of turmoil and tightness has made him even more empty.


Xi's mind was chaotic.


After the betrayal of Yang Jie and Chu Yana.


Li Yuan, a girl who is trusted by Xi, will also leave.

He can't say anything. In fact, after the plane on board, Li Yuan had taken off.


Maybe if it was film and drama, maybe people thought that Xi would run like a mad dog chasing the plane that took off.


However, in this world, there will be some people who cannot express what they feel and think about.


These people be quiet because they do not know what they feel and they feel unworthy to say what they really want.


So, they choose not to say anything and not express anything.


Have you not seen your own mother? Your mother chooses not to express what your mother has thought and what she has felt for your father.


Basically, your mother has kept her happy and keep the happiness of you and your sister.


If at some point your mother says everything. Then the happiness that you have to live with your mother and father as a whole family will disappear.


So, your mother has kept the happiness that you have had for a long time. Although, I will tell you that happiness is false and not real.


Happiness given by your mother is not eternal. There will be no happiness that comes from the lies your mother has chosen so far.

Maybe, this will sound unfair.


All humans choose false ones even though they know that falsehood will not last for a long time. The falsehood will crack and break when their hearts cannot withstand all kinds of suffering and pain they have felt.


So, one day your mother will walk at the end point where the road will be cut off. That road will make your mother cry because she does not have a new path to maintain your happiness.


That is the happiness that your mother has chosen.


That is the happiness that your mother has given.


So, I will remind you now. That there will be a point where you will lose the happiness that your mother has given you so far. Because there is a time there will be a time when your mother will find a dead-end and broken path. So that your mother will not have a way to save your happiness.


That will make your happiness disappear like burning paper.


Your happiness will turn to ashes.


***


Xi sits on the couch while watching television whose channels are constantly changing in just seconds.


Xi will always do it repeatedly.


He felt pressured for a reason about the tightness in his chest and his heartache.


Xi looked around the room was really neat and clean.


Li Yuan is a cleaning girl and always pays little attention to details. Xi can see it from the arrangement of bookshelves arranged neatly and grouped by title with the sequential alphabet.


Li Yuan also placed several foreign-language books on different shelves.


Li Yuan is also a person who prefers to do cleaning work done by herself or she will ask Xi to come to do work that he cannot do such as lifting furniture from the lower floor of the apartment building to the top floor where his apartment room is located.


After Xi goes around the parts of the room starting from the room, reading room, dining room, and kitchen. Xi found and concluded that Legal Loli was storing too many doll collections "The cutest rabbit in the world." That's the size and height is not too big about 10-30 centimeters. Li Yuan places the dolls inside the neatly arranged glass cabinet.


Although, Xi often came to this place he had never even explored this girl's room. So, Xi has thought that exploring the real places is privacy for some people.


The dolls have at least pink and white cotton. It was quite cute and under Li Yuan who was too fond of the character "Popo". The main character in the children's animated film was quite loved at that time. Maybe it was about fifteen years ago.



On the table, there is a straw hat that Li Yuan always wears to travel when the weather is rather hot. The size of the hat is not too wide, it has a diameter that can be said to be quite under the shape of the fan girl's head "The Cutest rabbit in the world."



Xi just sighed.

He recalled the times they were together.


Xi also remembers when Li Yuan made it a joke with a plate of red bean cake in it already filled with spicy red chili which even had a spicy flavor more than twice as spicy as the original dish from Shincuan.



Xi did not understand that the girl put chili into a filling in his favorite food.


At that time Xi remembered that for several days he had an abnormal defecation routine.


Until finally Li Yuan came to Xi and put eyes on a puppy that made Xi not have the heart to extend their dispute.


Xi does not know for sure the reason he will always end up forgiving Li Yuan.


Even though he didn't make a mistake, he would say "sorry"  if he felt Li Yuan's treatment of him was cold.


Xi remembers when he and Chu Yana returned from a trip to climb Mount Song. It only takes a few days. Xi and Chu Yana had an appointment to climb the mountain without inviting Li Yuan to join.


However, after Xi returned an excuse to make Li Yuan cold and did not want to talk to Xi. Li Yuan even avoided Xi for a few days.


Li Yuan didn't even want to see Xi when they were seeing each other in the corridor leading to the lecture hall. Li Yuan will always look away at Xi.


That made Xi feel uncomfortable with Li Yuan's treatment of him. So, Xi follows Li Yuan like a stalker and prostrates then apologizes to Li Yuan.


Xi remembers Li Yuan's words at that time.


The girl said.


"I have seen some stupid people on vacation while he forgets to invite someone and does not give news and does not include a girl whom he considers his beloved teacher and mentor. Is that person really shameless, so he makes love with his girlfriend and leave the teacher alone here with so many piles of research documents piling up? I hope that the devoted student won't do the same thing the fool did, right?. Am I saying right, beloved student? "


For a reason, expression and eyes of Li Yuan are like an old wife left by her husband who honeymooned with a young wife.


Li Yuan's words and expressions had made Xi rather scared. Xi believes that the Tsundere girl actually felt jealousy and was eager to take part in the journey of lovers to climb the mountain.


So, Xi can only say "sorry" to Li Yuan because he has not invited the girl to the mountain climb that Xi and Chu Yana have done.


The girl has become part of Xi. Unconsciously the fussy and stingy girl becomes an important part of Xi's life.


So, when Li Yuan said that her family would plan an engagement Xi immediately felt some parts of his heart disappear.


So that he felt was a feeling of long emptiness.


I don't know, people will tend to have the same things and feel the same.


People will feel miss a troublemaker when the troublemaker is disappeared. Because the troublemaker has become a small part of their lives. All the accusations, ignorance and carelessness of the troublemaker became a common thing in that person's life.


I still remember when the man always revealed the same thing to the little girl. The man will always say 


"I love you, will you be my girlfriend?"


He will continue to say the same thing even after the girl sent a murderer to the man.


One hundred times saying the same love confession is a shame. However, it at least touched a little of the parts and pieces that the girl had.


Although the man did not hear the answer he wanted so far.


I remember the man's words and that was the first honest words I heard in eternity that I had.


The man said.


"I did not get the answer I wanted from the girl I loved ... I felt that the small parts convinced me that I had touched a little of the girl's heart ..."


"I'm quite happy what I've done so far has touched a little of her feelings ... "


"I feel thrilled that the things I've been doing have made She see me now ... But, I feel ... I feel ... and I choose not to see the girl cry because I have touched a little part of her heart ..."


"Because for some reason it makes me sad ... I prefer to see the girl leave me and go with the man she loves rather than crying because she just realized that she loved me ... though, I will get hurt and feel uncomfortable seeing the happiness they have ... "


"I hope it all happens ... "


"I hope that I will not die and leave the girl who just loved me ..."


"I'm afraid of dying ... then losing all that ... losing all my feelings to her ... losing my memory for her ..."


The man is just staring at me.


His eyes cannot cover and lie to his sadness.

He smiled at me.


"I hope it all happens ... but, I can't lie to myself ... that I also want to be chosen by that girl ... I also want her to choose me and live happily with her for a long time"


I can remember the man in tears.


The man has lived and continues to live expressing the same thing. In different lives and different names.


But, do you know, kid?


When I told the man that I could bring him back to life. I will give him another opportunity to make him chosen by the person he loves.


The man just smiled wryly and answered.


"I thought it was an interesting offer ... but, I ended it all ... I think it's time for me to stop repeating the story and become the main character in the story for you ..."

"I'm kind of tired of loving that girl ..."


The man just smiled bitterly at me.


His smile is the smile I've always seen.

A smile of a man has stood on a dead end.


But, I chose not to erase the man's soul.


So that I will be able to tell this story to you.


I can understand and accept the answer from the man. That is the end point of the story that I always repeat.

Xi Yang who ordinary simple student and has peacefully life. But , when he find his lover make affair with his bestfriend all his life change.

...I don't remember when it started, but I started to question my everyday life, what was the point? Is getting a job to buy material value truly going to make me happy? It looks like that is how it's suppose to work. People tend to be jealous over, let's say, the neighbors having a more expensive car, a bigger house or trending clothes.

Is that suppose to make me feel fulfilled? Wouldn't a relationship make me feel more happy? But when do you have the time to look for new friends or potential lovers? Most people will only gain friends in the near surroundings, their workplace, the neighborhood, but what if you don't find anybody?

Let's say your neighbors like to drink on every occasion, would you join, because of pure loneliness?

Some would find happiness in family and no, I don't mean incest, but people who will indulge themself in family activities, like family gatherings. 

I was never contented with that, a phone does the same as the other, any car will bring me to the same place. I never feeled love for my family or perhaps It's just been to long?

So I begun to wish for happiness, but how would one find a emotion they never felt?

Could you describe how being sad or angry feels like to a person without emotions? They would never understand. But maybe they could see the emotion and understand. 

So I had the thought. What if I find happiness by bringing happiness to others? Saving families, watching the touching reunion of long lost siblings.
Etc. 

All that to understand and gain happiness.

Would you bring a smile in never ending night?
Because of a simple wish: "I wish to bring happiness"
Would you be willing to travel for Infinity the never ending void of the multiverse or even beyond?

This is not a story for romance, neither is it for adventure and it doesn't have to satisfy anyone but me.
I truly just wanted to write a happy ending for all, anime, manga or other forms of storytelling, were people never got a smile of genuine happiness or lost their smile

#self insert #irregular update schedule

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