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Rasa sakit yang tidak ada habisnya.

The story of Ren, who was neglected in his previous life, which lead  him to grow numb toward inter-persnal relationship, learns the different meanings to love someone and be loved by someone

"WHAT IS MY FATE IN THIS WORLD. " Still undergoing the hardships of this world. Helen strives to keep on going and endure what the mother nature has in stored for her. 

Join Helen on her journey. Uncover her past. Join her in her present. But the future is yet to come. Will she find love and happiness? would her life be what she hoped for? 






I would like to say this to my readers." I am an amateur writer, never written before. This is my first time so please bear with me. One more thing, this novel is a true life story. It may not be all that you hope for it to be but please read. Some of you maybe or may not be able to relate to the story. For those of us who have hurt the most, remember to have hope and keep on pushing. I hope my story can touch you. THANK YOU!! PS: DON'T JUDGE ME.

Although from the surface, Rhode could be sure that there wouldn't be much of a problem because even if those flame reels were really purchased by the Keller family, they still couldn't explain anything. However, Keller was clear that the problem didn't lie there. More importantly, if it was really as Rhode had said, it would only be a matter of time before the Keller family and the Jade Tears mercenary group got involved with each other, which was something that Keller didn't wish to see.
The reason was very simple: the Jade Tears mercenary group's identity wasn't ordinary.
If it was another mercenary group, Keller wouldn't be worried about what Rhode had said since it was normal for the Merchant Association to support a mercenary group. If the reason Rhode looked for trouble was just to complain like a child, then he wouldn't take it seriously, but it was different if things turned out to be related to Jade Tears. As everyone knew, the Jade Tears mercenary group had once been ruled by the son of a noble from the Country of Light—Frank. According to the continuous incidents that happened previously, Keller even heard that this mercenary group was related to the floating ship incident from before; they were most likely spies sent by the Country of Light. Such speculation was spreading among the upper echelons, which was why Klautz sent people to ask a few questions while Rhode almost killed Frank on the street. As for the sudden disappearance of Frank and his followers, although the public seemed to know what happened, the mercenary Association and Deep Stone City officials only kept a strange silence. Keller was not stupid; from their attitude it could be seen that the Jade Tears had most likely done something to provoke trouble. It was possible that those rumors were true. If the Jade Tears hadn't disappeared all of sudden, then most likely they would have been called out by the city guards and brought out to the Town Square to be beheaded in public.
But since they disappeared now, things were better. This could be seen from this incident with Rhode. Originally, even if there was a bet on both sides, the Mercenary Association would still have to confirm it to ensure the Jade Tears mercenary group wasn't being victimized. However, this time, they actually even omitted the necessary procedures, clearly making complete preparation for the Jade Tears mercenary group's disappearance. Of course, the Mercenary Association who had always been working based on mercenary interests and could not possibly give Rhode any privilege just because of his identity. The reason was because they needed to make the Jade Tears disappear.
If the Keller family got involved with the Jade Tears mercenary group, then the matter would only get worse. Thinking until here, Keller broke into a cold sweat. It would be dangerous if the young man before him thought that he did it on purpose to trouble him. From Rhode's actions, it could be seen that he was from the King's party. He had also heard Klautz mentioned Rhode's name recently, and the upper echelons from Golden City seemed to take some interest to him. It could be said that this young man was surely on the road to success. He was only an ordinary merchant. If he offended this promising young man, nothing good would come from it. Moreover, what would they think if Klautz or other people knew about this? The Keller family had been interacting with the Country of Light in private?! Holy spirit above, if such a thing really happened, then the Keller family would be finished! If it were just like usual, people might not mind it, but this topic was currently very sensitive. Although it wasn't widely circulated, many people from the upper echelons knew that the Country of Light would likely plot something to incite riots in the Paphield area. If news got out that the Keller family and the Country of Light were privately involved with each other, then wouldn't he basically be looking for death?
When the time came, not only would his own future be finished, but the entire family would be completely destroyed…
Thinking until here, beads of sweat dropped from Keller's face until Rhode's voice pulled him back to the reality. "I'm still waiting for your explanation, Mr. Keller."
"T-this, I think I can explain it to you."
Keller rubbed the sweat on his forehead. Currently, his face was pale, but he was also feeling fortunate that Rhode had looked for him. It seemed like he hadn't yet spread the words, or else, he would have already been finished once Rhode told this matter to Klautz. Even if he wasn't finished, nothing good would happen to him as a result. After all, before he had hinted that Marlene was feeling miserable about this matter. If they knew the culprit behind this problem was actually the Keller family, then who knew what might they do them..
"To tell you the truth, this ring is my daughter's…"
"Oh?" Hearing this answer, Rhode frowned and he immediately remembered the fat pig-like woman. "So?"
"So… So… I'm sorry, please wait for a moment, I'll call her right away." Having said that, Keller picked up the bell on the table and shook it. 
Soon, the old housekeeper quickly walked into the room. But before he asked Keller what he could do for him, the former shouted angrily.
"Immediately bring Helen here, no matter where is she. Bring her here immediately, now!"
"Yes, master!" Seeing Keller's pale expression, the old housekeeper quickly followed the order and left. Keller finally felt relieved, leaning on the sofa while wiping the sweat on his forehead. He looked at the dark-haired man before him, but he didn't know what to say. Facing Keller, Rhode didn't speak and only leisurely tasted the black tea and snack in front of him. He looked more like a guest than trouble.
"This… Mr. Rhode, please forgive me for presuming about this matter, about this…"
"I haven't told anyone yet." Rhode put down the cup. "I'm just a little curious, after all. In my mind, your family does not seem like the type to oppose the Kingdom…"
"This is, of course, Mr. Rhode. We, the Keller family, are forever loyal to the Munn Kingdom, and it will never change. I can swear here by the name of my soul that it is absolutely impossible for me to betray the kingdom." 
Even though he didn't say it clearly, but from Rhode's words, his speculation was eighty to ninety percent certain… It was really troublesome!
He didn't know to what extent Rhode would believe in himself because no matter what, he would just be giving excuses. In fact, as the head of the family, Keller knew to a certain extent what his daughter was doing. It was because of the recent business handover that he thought it would be a good thing to let his daughter learn about investing and supporting the mercenary group. After all, it was important for the Merchant Association to have experience with mercenary groups, but he didn't expect that just because he didn't ask about it, the matter would turn out like this!
Holy spirit above! There were so many mercenary groups in Deep Stone City; why would she get involved with the damned Jade Tears!
"Father, are you looking for me?" At this moment, Helen walked toward the living room, led by the housekeeper. She glanced to the side and soon, she saw Rhode. Helen's fat face immediately darkened, but she didn't make a ruckus in front of her father and only lowered her head while walking toward Keller. On the other side, Keller looked at his daughter and signaled for the housekeeper to leave. 
When the housekeeper left and closed the door, he coldly asked, "What are you doing these few days?"
"I… I'm not doing anything."
"Nothing?" Hearing her answer, Keller frowned. He pointed toward the ring on the table and asked.
"Then what about this ring!?"
Hearing his father's question, Helen curiously looked toward the direction her father pointed and immediately shouted after seeing it. "Ah!! This is the keepsake I gave to Barney. How come it's here!?"
Having said that, Helen immediately jumped up, looking at Rhode. "It's you, isn't it! It must be you who killed them right! It's you! I know it, you…"
"Shut up!" Hearing until here, Keller no longer said anything and slapped Helen while fiercely glaring at her. A crisp sound sounded. She immediately stopped cursing and looked at her father, feeling confused.
"Father, why did you hit me, what did I do wrong!?"
"You dare ask me what you did wrong? Why did you got involved with Jade Tears?! Tell me, why did you got involved with them!"
"I… I…"
Hearing Helen's explanation intermittently, Rhode and Keller finally understood the things that happened. Helen originally did intend to invest in a mercenary group, but at that time she did not know about the existence of the Jade Tears. She heard about them from her servants. The Jade Tears's tragic story touched her, so she sent someone to meet Barney and was moved by his sincerity. Eventually, Helen agreed to support the Jade Tears mercenary group. Of course, she had her own little plan. Because of the previous conflict between her and Rhode, she hated him very much. Although objectively speaking, Rhode had protected her from being abducted, but his rude behavior was too unacceptable for her. Later, she complained about this matter to her father. Instead of punishing Rhode and teaching him a lesson, he even gave the family heirloom to him. This made Helen felt very angry. Originally, if she hadn't heard news about Rhode so often, she would have forget him after a long time. However, because news of Rhode had been spreading in Deep Stone City, Helen was forced to listen frequently. This made her feel even more disgusted, especially when she heard those people praising Rhode. So she chose to support the Jade Tears mercenary group in order to oppose Starlight and Rhode.
Of course, at that time, she had a romantic delusion. She wanted the Jade Tears to grow into the most powerful mercenary group in the Paphield area under her support while Starlight could only work hard in the shadows. She wanted her father to praise her and hand the entire Trader Association to her… For this reason, Helen followed Barney's idea to put the magic reel and sweep out all of the stock in the market. In her opinion, if she could make trouble for Rhode's Starlight, then it would be the best.
It was a pity that she could only daydream.
"You… you…"
Hearing his daughter explanation, Keller was very angry and didn't know what to say. That incident had passed for some time now, so he thought that Helen no longer cared about it anymore. No matter what, Rhode had kindly saved her life. Even if he was rude, did she have to hold this grudge for so long?
On the other hand, Rhode was very open-minded about this matter. He often saw such narrow-minded women. He once had a classmate who held a grudge for half a year just because her boyfriend glanced at another woman. That was why he thought that this kind of thing was just normal.
"Immediately go back to your room! You are not allowed to go out until you realize your mistake!"
While Rhode was dozing off, Keller already made his decision. He slapped his daughter a few times then called out the guard. He wanted them to bring Helen who had flown into rage back to the room and locked her up. No matter what the reason is, she was not allowed go out. The fatty girl kept screaming until she was gone. Keller was finally relieved and sat back on the sofa.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Rhode. It's my fault for such thing to happen."
"You don't have to apologize to me, Mr. Keller." Rhode frowned, but his expression didn't change the slightest. "Everyone makes mistakes, right?"
"Right." Hearing Rhode's words, Keller finally felt relieved. He smiled and rubbed his hands. "Then… although this matter was caused by my daughter, I will of course not run from the responsibility. My daughter's action has caused damage your mercenary group, so our Keller family will surely compensate for it."
Of course, both sides knew that this was not true. Helen's actions did not really cause any real damage to Rhode and the others; both knew it was just an excuse that Keller made to make sure Rhode would stay silent about this matter. This was equivalent to the "sealing fee," used to ensure the peace of the Keller family.
Rhode naturally had no objections to this. Strictly speaking, this was indeed the reason he came here.
As a player, if he didn't maximize the benefits of the quest, could he still be called a player?
"Since Mr. Keller said so…"
Rhode crossed his hands and leaned against the sofa while narrowing his eyes.
"Then, I have a request …"


Rhode is a legendary guild leader of the most influential guild in the VRMMO, Dragon Soul Continent. In order to cope with the death of his beloved sister, he dived into the game for seven long years. During this period, Rhode tries his best to alleviate his emotional pain through gaming, but alas, his life shatters once more when he heard his parents perish in a plane crash.

A month after the incident, he made a decision to quit the game and return to the real world. But just before that, as a final farewell, Rhode decides to fight the most powerful BOSS in the game with his guildmates. In the end, he defeats the BOSS at the expense of his avatar's life. Rhode smiles as his avatar dissipates in a beam of light. However, instead of respawning at the usual platform...

...

"W-wha...!"

Rhode shot up and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling.

And thus, a player who had been creating legends in the game for three eras disappeared just like that...

-.  only I can change my life. no one can do it for me
-.  Whether you're going through a break up, you've just lost your job, or you simply woke up feeling a little insecure this morning—we've all had these days.
- You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
-. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." -John Lennon
-  Get busy living or get busy dying."-Stephen King
-. When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."-Helen Keller
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do."-Mark Twain
-. "When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."-Audre Lorde
-.  A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. " -William Shakespeare

Hope you enjoy the extra quotes that inspired me

All y'all going to find hear and my favorite
Quotes

Chapter One: Eleanor

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." - Thomas Merton. 

A lot of people say that we are meant to lose ourselves before we get to know who we are. As a child, I didn't believe them; but as I grew older, I started thinking that maybe they were right after all. Famous people like Mahatma Gandhi, Helen Keller, Theodore Roosevelt, and many others lost themselves before they knew who they were and their life purpose. 

I am torn between achieving my dreams and pleasing my parents. I stared at the blank canvas and paintbrushes on the left side of my room and the medical books on the bedside table. I dreamed of having my own art studio and gallery ever since I visited the art exhibit downtown with my parents when I was a child. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I looked around the art exhibit as I pulled myself close to my mother. I was scared to get lost in the crowded place. I followed her wherever she went. I looked at the paintings hanged at the wall, every painting tells a story. However, one painting caught my eye and it was a portrait of a woman and a man kissing under a tree. The orange leaves were on the ground, adding more touch of romance to the painting. Autumn. It was in autumn when this two people shared a kiss. It looks so genuine and raw for me. Even though I was a child, I felt the emotions pouring out of the painting — love and passion. 

Art is something unexplainable yet you could feel so many things as you appreciate it. It is something so magical, it could make me feel anger, passion, love, melancholy, and more at the same time. That is why I fell in love with art. 

At the age of 7, I started visiting art exhibits more often. My parents supported me. They took me to every exhibit that takes place in our town. I started painting too. I forced them to enroll me in painting classes during the summer. I took all the lessons by heart. Every line, stroke, and curve makes me fall in love with art more and more everyday. I grew fond of mixing different colors to create a new one. 

Since then, I have painted a lot of images that are enough to fill my room. Now that I am 18, my parents talked to me about college. I told them that I wanted to major in Arts, they opposed. They wanted me to take up Medicine for college in order to earn more money because according to them, art is something to do for fun and not as a job. I agreed nonetheless, thinking that they were right. As a result, they bought me medical books so that I could read in advance during summer. 

I read the books, and learned many information, but I was unhappy. I didn't enjoy learning how to cure diseases, or learning the different names of medications. Studying medicine is one of the hardest majors out there and I salute those who are taking it, but it wasn't for me, that is why I didn't enjoy it. 

I spent the whole summer reading the books, trying to find something that could peak my interest and make me decide to pursue in studying it. 

I couldn't.

My thoughts were dismissed when I heard a faint knock on my door. I stood up from my bed and fixed it before slipping on a robe and fluffy slippers. When I opened the door, I saw my mother with a small tray for breakfast.

"Good morning darling. I have prepared you a small breakfast to fill your stomach through the morning." 

I greet her back with a simple good morning and thank you as I let her in. She sets it down on the bed and I ate quietly as she looked around my room.

My mother is a successful woman. Dressed in a red pencil cut dress and black blazer paired with black pumps, she showcases how she carries herself. She had her dirty blonde hair up in a bun. It wasn't always like this; she told me that she grew up in Pennsylvania joining her father play the piano in gatherings with ambitions of becoming a doctor, which she achieved. She worked hard for it. Getting part-time jobs and a scholarship helped her achieve who she is now. She wanted me to be successful as her and my father. They are both doctors. Her being a cardiologist, and him being a neurologist. They built a hospital in our town along with their friends who are also doctors. 

They wanted me to inherit the hospital and continue to run it. However, I didn't want any medicine related job. I wanted to paint, to learn more about the history of art, to meet people with the same passion, and to see paintings from different places. 

But I didn't want to disappoint them. That is why I am trying my best to be interested in medicine. I minimized my time doing paintings and read books instead. Maybe if I expose myself in the books, I would become interested in it. 

My mother sat down the bed as I took the last bite of my pancakes. I finished drinking my milk and set the tray aside. 

"Honey, I wanted to talk to you about something."

She sounds serious. What could have happened?

"Yes, mother. About what?"

"It's about you..." She started. I could feel my heart beating so fast, I am nervous about what she is going to say. Then she continued, "...remember the Joneses?"

"Yes. What about them?"

"Well, as you know, the Joneses are very close to us. We met up yesterday in a coffee shop to have a chat. We thought that you and Fletcher would be a great couple and decided that you two should get married as soon as you both graduate from medical school."

What?!

Carefree and witty Eleanor Carter has been painting ever since she was a child. She dreamed of opening an art studio and gallery. At the age of 18, she embarks herself on a self-journey to Paris in order to escape her strict parents and their ambition of her becoming a doctor and marrying one.

Hugh Bennet has been longing to meet his father since he was a child. He traveled places to find him. Finding out that his father resides in Paris, he went to find him there. 

What could the city of love bring to the two people?

Life isn't about how hard something is but about what you learn from the situation.
A lack of exercise is now causing as many deaths as smoking across the world.
Afternoon naps make you smarter - fact it makes you relax so you can focus better.
Your brain keeps developing until your late 40's.
New brain connections are created every time you form a memory.
The smell of chocolate increases theta brain waves, which triggers relaxation. 
We have more brain cells as a newborn baby than we will ever have again.
A Blue Whale's heart is so large that you could swim through it's arteries.
Spain's largest source of income is from tourism.
The first computer was invented in the 1940's.
The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland.
Showers spark creativity and baths spark relaxation.
"Creativity is experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun." - Mary Lou Cook
Be loyal to your future, not your past.
A hungry stomach, an empty pocket, and a broken heart; can teach the best life lessons.
Train your mind to be calm in every situation.
Sometimes you'll fall down because there's something at the bottom for you.
Time has a way of showing us what really matters in life.
"Act if what you do makes a difference it does." - William James
"Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye." - Helen Keller
"Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt
"No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel." - Demi Lovato
"It's our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which more than anything else, will affect it's successful outcome." - William James

life of helen keller the story of my life

The Story Of My Life

THE STORY OF MY LIFE

The story of my life.

The story Of my Life

The Story of My Life

MY STORY: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE...........

Summoning the Holy Sword

Good Quotes

Slow dancing

Indescribable

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