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Moved To The New link オリジナル

Moved To The New link

Realistic 7 章 8.4K ビュー
作者: Ink_Quanta

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概要

An Old Man of a cruel history in a way what the world did to him was so so rude.He understood the matrix,the game and was thus thrown into prison,until his student who had some contacts helped him out and then joined him in his journey.

  1. Demons_and_I
    Demons_and_I 貢献した 5
  2. Lola_Ben
    Lola_Ben 貢献した 5
  3. Arkbrave
    Arkbrave 貢献した 5

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  • 翻訳品質
  • アップデートの安定性
  • ストーリー展開
  • キャラクターデザイン
  • 世界の背景

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Demons_and_I

Where should I start... First of all, unique concept. The concept this book is following is one I haven't seen before, so kudos for that. Now, unto the criticism.🧐 Grammar is poor. The sentences are very hard to understand, as they aren't written properly. Punctuation is faulty as well. But overall, I'd say this story has promise if editing is done.

1yr
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Lola_Ben

The whole matrix thing is intriguing. But you need to work on heavily editing your story. Try to break long paragraphs into smaller ones. And look into your grammar as well, it needs strong polishing. Other than that, your storyline is interesting and I wish you the best. 🙃

1yr
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Arkbrave

This is good. The startup, pacing and synopsis are intriguing 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 I'd advise you try and update more frequently. Good job author and Goodluck.

1yr
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作者 Ink_Quanta