/ Realistic / Moved To The New link
概要
An Old Man of a cruel history in a way what the world did to him was so so rude.He understood the matrix,the game and was thus thrown into prison,until his student who had some contacts helped him out and then joined him in his journey.
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3レビュー
- 翻訳品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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The whole matrix thing is intriguing. But you need to work on heavily editing your story. Try to break long paragraphs into smaller ones. And look into your grammar as well, it needs strong polishing. Other than that, your storyline is interesting and I wish you the best. 🙃
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This is good. The startup, pacing and synopsis are intriguing 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 I'd advise you try and update more frequently. Good job author and Goodluck.
Where should I start... First of all, unique concept. The concept this book is following is one I haven't seen before, so kudos for that. Now, unto the criticism.🧐 Grammar is poor. The sentences are very hard to understand, as they aren't written properly. Punctuation is faulty as well. But overall, I'd say this story has promise if editing is done.