章 63: Chapter 60: At Home
In the Leaky Cauldron, I hid for about ten minutes using my [Travel] skill, since this was a travel point. Without anyone noticing, I disappeared and now found myself in the courtyard of The Burrow, currently empty.
I looked at it and had complicated emotions, the last time I was here my emotions were sealed and it was completely different from how I am now... if my parents hadn't left maybe the situation would be very strange seeing me act almost like a normal person.
I shook my head to let go of those thoughts and walked slowly to the Lovegoods' house, I had told them not to wait for me at King's Cross Station, that I would come on my own.
When I was finally in front of the Lovegood house, the door opened and I could see a girl with red hair, although not like mine.
"Red!" Ginny jumped up to me and hugged me, she seemed to miss me a lot while I was gone.
"Ginny" I told her as I returned the hug and rubbed my face against her hair, I was quite tall for it to be like that "You don't know how much I missed you" I pressed her tightly against me.
Ginny, hearing me, separated from me and looked at her face, somewhat startled. She backed away from me as Luna also left the house.
"Red! You... Who are you?" Ginny exclaimed, somewhat upset.
"It's me... a lot of things changed" I replied.
I walked up to her and stroked her head using [Calm Down], then she opened her eyes realizing it was really me, she couldn't mistake my ability for anyone else.
"Is it really you?"
"Yes... You didn't want me to smile anymore?" I showed her a big smile that left her dumbfounded "Hello Luna, a hug?" I said to the girl who was looking at us from the door.
Luna also ran over and jumped up, clinging to me like a sloth to a tree.
"Hello Red"
"How are you Luna? Did you miss me?"
"Yes... we were waiting for you" she told me with a smile, there wasn't a great emotion like Ginny's, but her expressions were the sincerest. Also, since she saw me, she doesn't doubt myself in the least despite my change "Dad is inside"
"Let's go" I told them, walking still with Luna hanging around my neck and with Ginny hugged with my other arm.
When we entered the house we quickly saw Xenophilus who seemed to be coming toward us when he saw that we did not enter. When he saw me, he welcomed me like always.
"Red, welcome, I hope you did well at Hogwarts. The girls missed you so much"
"Thanks, it's nice to be back" I told him and released the girls to give him a hug that surprised him for a moment, but then he just patted my back with a smile.
Together we went into the living room to sit on the couches while we drank some tea to warm ourselves up. There I began to tell them that since I entered Hogwarts my emotional state changed, that now I had a great repertoire of expressions and others, although I didn't tell them much about what I did with those new emotions.
They all seemed very happy and interested in it. Ginny almost didn't get out of my lap and she didn't stop looking at my face to appreciate the expressions that I had never normally had before, at times she pinched my face. My sister seemed very taken aback to see my always stoic face change to a more diverse one.
At one point, the girls had to go change, while Xenophilus said he was going to work on "The Quibbler" one more time before Christmas so he could have time off for us. At that moment I left the house towards the patio, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.
I was on this patio, now completely white due to the snow that covered it, in front of the tree that I used to sit down to have cathartic talks since I was a child... it was only a few months, but so many things happened and I underwent so many changes that it seems like everything a life.
"Are you okay Red?" I heard Ginny's voice behind me, which startled me.
"Yes" I said, turning around and seeing Ginny and Luna in winter outfits, but I involuntarily took a step back.
"What is the problem?" Ginny asked confused.
"What are you afraid of?" Luna asked with her usual calmness.
"No nothing... I'm just a little tense" I answered nervously.
"You're lying" Luna affirmed "since you arrived you have been scared of something and you have avoided looking at us or approaching us after entering the door.
"No...it's just... I..."
"What's wrong?!" Ginny asked worriedly as she grabbed me by my clothes, but the moment she did, I pushed her away.
"I'm... I'm afraid..." my voice was a bit brittle "I'm afraid of doing something bad to them" I said which has tormented me lately.
"Why would you do that?" Ginny asked, still upset and confused.
"Because I'm not a good person!" I yelled "The fact that my emotions have been released was not a good thing at all... I don't know if I was always like this and I didn't know it or if I turned into this recently, but I'm a bad person" I exclaimed without meeting their eyes and losing control of my auras.
"R-Red?!"
"I am a Horrible person who has done many very questionable things...and... I have enjoyed doing them...enjoyed them. Innocent girls who suffered just for my amusement and gratification... I am afraid that now I will do the same to you. Since I changed I never felt like I had a limit and neither do I now. It's like I don't care about anything but myself and my own satisfaction" Without realizing it, tears came out of my eyes.
"B-B-But..."
"These last days I've been questioning if what I am now is a good thing... I never felt anything in the past and I didn't have any of these uncertainties, but now I can't stop feeling that the doubts inside me are eating away at me... "The emotions that were inside me were out of control, both my worries and my fears... all the stress of Tenebrius, people only usually die once in their lives, but I have lived it more than necessary...
"¡Red! ¡Calm down!" My auras were wreaking havoc around me, the snow starting to freeze or melt.
"I miss... I miss Pandora...!... She could hear me and if she were here right now I'm sure I could talk to her like before and receive her advice..." I said looking at them with teary eyes "... Mom is a great mother but she wasn't what I needed in the past, I needed someone who didn't just treat me like a child and with whom I didn't have to take my age into account to see my problems... I know it was partly my fault for being an idiot who didn't open up to others... but still..." I said while wiping my eyes with my sleeve "Before I could take these things like nothing, but now that I have my emotions and I am here without can... I can't stop being upset that she is no longer here... I need you right now so that you listen to me, that with a smile and with your calm voice tell me what is what should I do, even if it means knowing that I'm wrong... I really miss her, and only now can I cry about it..." Many problems hidden inside me arose without being able to contain them.
"..." There was a small silence.
"Now I am just a monster that only gets worse every moment, I go further and further... you are the most precious to me, and if I do what I have done to others or if I use you only as an object for my own purposes... I... I don't know if I can keep my sanity..."
Ginny and Luna threw themselves on top of me, squeezing me with their arms, and they didn't let go even when I tried to remove them. I knew that I was stronger than them and that I could remove them in a thousand ways, but my emotional state seemed to have weakened me.
Until this moment my change never bothered me... but what happened is that I had forgotten how it felt to be so sad... I had so many accumulated emotions that now they all exploded together...
"Don't cry! You scare me like this!" Ginny yelled at me crying in my arms too "I don't want you to cry!"
"I miss her too... but we're still here... you're not alone" Luna told me, although I didn't see her cry like Ginny, I still saw a couple of tears, besides the big hug she gave me.
"It doesn't matter if you hurt me, if it's you it's fine!" Ginny yelled at me without letting go and burying her face in my chest.
"No, Ginny...it's not okay" I tried to stop those thoughts, they were the kind of thoughts that I would make the most of, but when I heard them from her mouth I couldn't help but tremble with horror.
"NO!!! It doesn't matter if it's you, I'm happy if the one hurting me is you... just don't cry and be the one before... Even if you don't smile, just don't be sad" Ginny cried without remove her face from my chest.
...
For a while, the three of us leaned against the tree where our old talks took place, crying and hugging each other. It was very cold, so from my inventory, I took some blankets and clothes to cover us. Even if it wasn't right, being held like this despite all this pain, made me feel warm...
I tried to give them back the warmth they gave me, even with all the worries I had. We stayed like that for a while until we stopped crying, I was the first because seeing both girls crying had hurt me more than the emotions and doubts I had before, and I knew that if I didn't stop they wouldn't either. I ended up using my skills to calm them down a bit.
When everyone was finally more stable, we got up and, despite the resistance, I removed both girls from my body. I had to confirm very insistently that I was fine now and that it was just a moment of weakness, and only after promising that I would never be like this again, did my sister release me. I also apologized to Luna for bringing up the subject of Pandora in front of her, but there wasn't much of a problem, she accepted it in her way, although she does get a little sad.
We returned home and we met Xenophilus, who saw us in that state, he asked us what had happened to us, to which I replied that we were just very excited to see each other after so long. I don't know if he believed us, but he didn't ask us any more and he gave us our space.
It was already afternoon and with my 'sisters' we started to cook cookies as I promised. It was difficult since situations like these arose.
...
"Red, can we put this on them"
"No moon, that's pepper"
"And that?"
"The cream yes, but not now... Ginny! Stop adding sprinkles, there are already many"
...
We ended up with many cookies, some with weird ingredients from Luna, others inedible because of the number of sweets they had thanks to Ginny, and the last ones were the ones I made and we ended up eating.
Everyone was surprised when I told them that now what I cooked would have special effects and they had a bit of fun, since just the cookies I made had the force+1 effect and the girls moved almost all the furniture around playing with it.
When night came, I felt it was time to take a good bath. I needed to get rid of the stress that I was carrying with me, today I had released many emotions that I had on top of me and that I had not realized. I think acting always happy and joking has covered up a lot of past hurts that I'm unaware of.
The Lovegoods' house had a large enchanted bathtub that could quickly be filled with water and heated to just the right temperature... hot, with some steam over it.
I undressed and got into it, sprawling...relaxing...forgetting how good it felt. I didn't have breaks like these at Hogwarts, at times I thought I should try to relax more and not do so many things, but I knew that when I returned I would surely resume my life like a hurricane.
Everything was going fine until I heard someone opening the door and when I opened my eyes I saw that it was Ginny and Luna who came in and started undressing.
"What are you doing here?" Ask something shy... well, not exactly.
"We're here to take a bath" Ginny answered without the slightest problem.
"Don't you want to wait for me to finish?" I asked. I was able to tell them that everything was fine, but my fear of doing something to them was still stuck deep in my heart.
"Why?" Luna asked innocently.
I could only sigh, it would be more difficult to get them out of here than it seems. It's not that bathing together is new, we started doing it some time ago and there were no problems... but that was before, now I have my emotions and the hormones of a horse, metaphorically speaking. I only hope there is some decency and morals left in me.
The two girls got in and it didn't change much, this tub was big enough for two adults to fit in comfortably, not to mention three kids.
'Think of puppies dying' I told myself, for safety's sake.
The bathroom was not different from how it was before, only that I was deeper into the water, and without looking at the girls directly, everything else was almost the same as what was seen outside.
*Yum*
"Luna?"
"Yes?"
"Are you chewing on my hair again?"
"Don't worry... "*yum*" I'll wash it for you later"
"This... is fine" I just resigned myself, but in part, I'm glad that nothing has changed since I left, not even that.
The bath was refreshing but stressful in a way. While it was fun to watch Ginny swim doggy style for a bit, things got awkward when she decided to sit on my lap, resting her chest against mine to hug me.
She was worried about what I showed her today, so she stayed that way for a while, but for me that I couldn't download anything with Pansy lately... rubbing our bare and soapy skin was torture that even the puppies dying were almost not enough.
The bath ended with me more stressed than I entered, but at least Luna washed my hair, and I must say that maybe the practice made her an expert.
We ended up having dinner and going to bed early, the first day back home was very hectic for me.
...
In the middle of the night, I got up to solve some problems. I had to make an effort to get rid of the girls that I had stuck, who insisted on sleeping together.
When I was able to separate myself from them, I slipped away at night like a ghost to the bathroom. After closing the door quietly so as not to wake anyone up, I started my work, the hot I had was killing me... Damn Pansy and her sudden mood swings, here at home is the worst time to have an attack...
"Let's see... how was this?" I said as I pulled down my pants.
Without being able to resist it I started to touch myself for the first time, I'm not going to say I'm proud of it, but desperate situations require desperate measures.
I hate that wizards don't have easy access to good stuff... Should I dabble in wizarding world porn? That's for later... I also hate that I left all my magazines with Myrtle.
Let's see... the kisses with Pansy, the kiss with Penelope... not that last one was more romantic than exciting... perverted Hermione... yes, that was any good... big-breasted Tonks... the moans of Tonks... Gemma's buttocks... she was a bitch, but her buttocks were something special, so smooth and comfortable to the touch...
And so I had my first masturbation... so affected by the fever and so into my mind that I didn't notice that the bathroom door was ajar and that through it there was a pair of eyes, belonging to two pairs of eyes, They had been watching me from start to finish.
Without wasting any more time, after accomplishing my goal, I cleaned up my mess, washed my hands, and went back to bed. When I lay down between the girls, they both hugged me once more and pressed against me, that way we went back to sleep.
...
The next day we got up normally and followed the usual routine we had before going to Hogwarts. In the morning, I take them out to practice magic on the patio.
"Did you practice like I told you?"
"Yes, Xenophilus helped us a lot and explained many things to us" Ginny commented.
"And we train almost every day" added Luna.
"Well, let's see how it went then"
Both girls took out their wands, which we bought from the merchant long ago. I had asked them to practice both magically and physically, now I was testing them to see how they did, and I must say that they left me pleased. Luna has very good control and is very skilled, Ginny on the other hand has the very good instinctive ability and is very capable in combat spells.
After they left me with a smirk, I had them fight me as hard as they could, clearly they weren't combating experts and the number of spells they knew was minimal, but they made me proud nonetheless. It was fun, and I rewarded them by cooking something delicious and extravagant for lunch.
That same day, the four of us visited the merchant, whom they had not seen for a long time. Xenophilus had a habit of talking to him even though he couldn't understand his answers if there were any, although sometimes Luna acted as his translator.
While I was there, I took my time shopping and ordering gifts for all of my Hogwarts friends and not-so-friends. Do not buy anything for any of those presents, since somehow we get into the habit of not giving each other anything at Christmas. Instead of giving each other things, we used to make our own homemade decorations for the house, as a gift for the house and for everyone inside it, a kind of game between us... last Christmas with the girls we made a big garland made out of bottles from positions that I broke and some other things that we found.
And so our days passed. During the day we have fun like normal children, although with our own peculiarities, in addition to training or cooking from time to time. Also, at night I had more trips to the bathroom to relieve tensions that could accumulate quite quickly, not that it was every day, but every once in a while. On one of those days, I took it upon myself to complete a mission with a particular photo.
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