Synopsis
The story of Annatar a bastard born on dragonstone during the dance of the dragons.
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Écrire un avisA decent work, it ain't bad but neither too good. You could improve it by the MC having more actuall conversations instead of third pov which in my opinion makes it more gray and not as colorful. But keep writing and improving!!!
A glimpse of a gem of an idea hidden beneath a mountain of poor writing. To begin, this is au, do not expect it to be accurate; Alicent has a daughter called visenya who is aemonds twin and helaena doesn’t exist, the timelines are all out of whack, and characters are varied and different from their canon (some). The writing style shifts multiple times throughout the story, all of which aren’t very nuanced. However, this story has an A+ update schedule and has great potential, if the author avoids the urge to lean on ai and brushes up on his source material.
The story is just beginning, I will refrain from doing any analysis at this time but I would like to leave more tips for the author. The text has quite glaring punctuation errors, many parts scream out for, at the very least and as an example, a more well thought out separation of paragraphs. This third-person writing is great for less experienced writers who are just learning, but try exploring other POVs when you feel confident, this greatly enriches the story. If you have difficulty making the text better punctuated and fluid, try using GPT, but don't become dependent on it, use it more as an aid. I'm looking forward to your progress, later I'll do another review talking more about the story
Mc is so passive that he feels like a npc the only thing he has done is bond with silverwing it feels like we are hearing about the dance of the dragons from the point of view of a background character
Auteur Sherputra
this is ai generated .