HpxGot Creating Asgard

LV 15

Kelnok

The author is not a native English speaker and it shows in their work, it is very tedious to read due to having to stop and work out what the writer was trying to say. To the author I would say either write in your native language or find a English speaker and have them proof read.

LV 1

DaoistE8ByZe

unreadable

LV 1

ForAsguard

Its needs a rewrite.... it seems interesting. You are foreign we know but so are we..... there's some tools to treat your grammars and I really wanted to read it.

LV 5

SUBSCRIBE_MY_LIST

The story and interactions between characters feel like a long rant. Often things are translated into english in ways that you arent certain which fandom the story is in anymore. For example, Maesters are called masters and they are from the ?Dominion? it makes no sense. Its like the author thinks of anyone in a robe as a Jedi Master and Skyrim Elves from the Altmeri Dominion. technically this is an AU OOC HP reincarnated in ASOIAF. But the lingo is largely Star Wars and Skyrim with long rants and musics of a man who does not know how to work with what he has and instead goes on and on about policies as if he were a Morrocan telling people in Greenland how to make a living. there is a huge disparity between what works and the story is written by someone who does not understand a thing about cold climates, how to homestead, survive and thrive in them. Its some city boy from a warm country imagining how his city boy southern views would bring some amazing summer empire up under his guidance.