Valient

LV 15

ResidentialPsycho

First of all, the synopsis is out of order. The second paragraph is the actual synopsis of the series, and the first is a paragraph of the author promoting herself. This is not a series about Ariel Slick as she goes on an adventure as a writer; instead, it is about an adolescent girl who starts accidentally setting her crush on fire and collapsing houses. Titling the section about the writer as "ABOUT THE AUTHOR" and placing it after the true synopsis would help a lot in inviting new readers. When I started reading this series, I was excited about the writing quality. Unlike many writers on this site, this author actually knows how to use imagery. Unfortunately, the author did not describe the buildings or structures of the places or the atmosphere in the woods. Instead, the writing focuses more on summarizing details instead. It took fewer than ten chapters for me to become incredibly disappointed in this series. The narration frequently changes between first and third person, and the first-person narratives aren't all with the same character. Instead, these monologues dramatically break immersion in the story line and spoil what is to come. This was so bad and distracting, I had to drop this story. This story is completed. Although there are grammatical errors, there are only a few of them, and they only cause confusion in dialogue about who is talking. The story development is spoiled early on. The chapters are posted out of order and told in flashbacks. Although some books can pull of this technique and make it look good, this is clearly not one of those stories. Even more confusing, each of them has two different chapter numbers. For instance, they may be labeled things like "Chapter 5: Chapter 8." I assume this is on purpose since the writer would've fixed it by now if it hadn't been. Although the characters each have their roles, some of them are inconsistent. For instance, One stole a man her sister had a crush on, and she actually felt guilty about this many years later. Although it would make sense for her to dislike the consequences of her action, it is unlikely she would develop a moral character afterward. Her sister, instead of talking about this issue or treating her crush, decides to destroy the world instead in the most dramatic fashion possible. They weren't married, so it's not like they were dedicated to each other, and she could always find someone else. None of the characters thus far are likeable. The MC doesn't have any interesting features; instead, she constantly whines and complains without being grateful about anything. Considering how the people are starving to death while she isn't, she's still not happy about anything. Unfortunately, the strengths of this series are as great as its weaknesses. Some people may enjoy reading this, but it can be a trial for others. I recommend trying the first few chapters before deciding to keep it or drop it since the immersion-breaking first-person spoiling monologues keep popping up during the narration.