Sword of Atonement: The Transmigrated Yuuto Kiba

LV 14

mashedpotato37

I'm just gonna say this , its too rushed , there's no single character development. it's like the whole plot is just to be streamlined and everything the mc does people just accept it. I get you are trying to incorporate concepts from your other books (which are nice by the way), but it just feels as if he's a Gary sue , much more than a Gary sue. and even tho grayfia said that his potential is mediocre, what he's been doing so far shows too much potential. Hell, he was starting to look like a Chinese young master with the way everyone and everything goes right for him, also with the needless bragging and posturing or even the need to show of or just so spontaneously decide to do something that's not the norm. I don't know if he's changed from where I stopped at the devil's hunter chapter and I'm not trying to be mean or dissuade you, I just hope that you'll accept my constructive criticism and I hope it'll help in bettering your work.

LV 1

Wolf5161

Good 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

LV 14

Kobus_Liebenberg_4211

Honestly it’s very rushed The characters don’t really have a personality and they story is jumping from point to point There isn’t any emotions connected to the characters and just because you mention there worried doesn’t make it feel like there worried The way the story is built isn’t very well

LV 4

Abomb

Okay, Love the pacing and direction it's going at right now, having a story revolve around Kiba is a nice change of pace and I'm very interested in seeing where you go with this. My only gripe about this is that you sometimes repeat yourself or say the same sentence twice. Example: "Before we start, do you know what Demonic Power is based on?" Grayfia asked. "Yes, it's based on Demonic Power," Kiba answered. You just repeated the same word here. Nothing was cleared up or explained through this interaction for the readers. Other than that, I'm loving the story and wish to see more chapters in the future

LV 13

DaviToledo

thanks for writing this work of art author-san, but i need more this,plssss.

LV 3

Anmol_Shrestha_7840

Its really entertaining and good hope you dont drop it author .........................................................................................