Chapter 19: 19. Apologies
"Rumor has it you're headed to New York." Derek walked faster to catch up with him as Mark smiled. His tone was almost friendly.
"Where'd you hear that?" he asked, playing along. He had been planning to, but since the ominous silence on Moore and his' friendship, he decided to go on hold. Mark Sloan did not leave things unfinished.
"Good news travels fast. Actually, I was gonna scrub in on a peripheral nerve reconstruction." That piqued his interest and he glanced over at his ex-best friend. "But since it's your last day-"
"It isn't and I'd love to," he replied smugly, spotting the brunette ahead of them in the office to his left. She met eyes with him mouthed words to him. He pretended not to see, turning back to Derek.
"What? I thought-" The raven-haired man sounded confused.
"Oh, I was going. But now I'm not. Rumor has it there's a race for Chief." That wasn't the only reason but Derek didn't need to know that.
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Good news travels fast. Especially when you have a chatty girlfriend." Her absence echoed in his core but he shook it off. It was fun to see Derek get riled up anyhow. "Anyways—" He patted him on the arm— "see you at the finish line." Spinning around, he left the neurosurgeon speechless.
.
"How many you got left?" Emily asked as she glanced down at her own charts to fill. Meredith sent her a sour look before counting.
"Three. So… are you and Sloan a thing? He never gives you bedsores," the blonde added grumpily, picking up her pen. Flushing, Emily shrugged. "And he doesn't give you errands."
"I don't really know, right now. We're not talking. Actually, he's not talking to me." She ducked her head to begin writing but felt Meredith's eyes on her.
"Is everything alright?" She asked as the door swung open. "I won't tell, promise," She added with a sympathetic tone. Shrugging, she shook her head.
"How are you and Derek?" She switched the topic and the blonde had a slightly silly smile at the name of her boyfriend as the door swung open.
"You told Sloan?" Turning around, she fixed a confused expression on her face. Emily looked up as well, meeting eyes with Derek. "Mark Sloan. You told him the Chief was stepping down, that I wanted the job."
"I didn't know that was a secret," Meredith said sincerely.
"He was leaving, Meredith. He was leaving town,"
"Okay, and now he's not?" she probed, confused. Emily bit her lip, drumming the pen against the table. Something about that hit her the wrong way. Mark was leaving? When was that decided? He had just decided without even telling her?
Was he really going to leave without even telling her? Derek's face was full of betrayal and Emily echoed his feelings but for a different reason.
"No, he's not. You gave him a reason to stay," the man snapped, opening the door and closing it with a slam. Standing up, the blonde opened the door, calling after him before returning to her seat.
"Mer, it isn't your fault," Emily mumbled, avoiding the woman's eyes. How could he just do that? "That was unfair,"
"I know," she acknowledged, continuing her charts. "So, about McSteamy?" Emily caved reluctantly.
"He didn't even tell me he was planning to leave. He didn't… it's like he doesn't trust me. How can - how can we be friends when he wouldn't even tell me that?" the brunette questioned hesitantly, twirling her pen. She was unable to write, unable to face what he did. He thought he could just leave her. Like everyone else did.
"I don't know," Meredith sighed, letting the pen drop and resting her fingers against her temple. "Why do you have that look on your face?"
"He was just planning to leave. Like everyone does," the woman whispered, glancing down into her lap. Meredith gave her a knowing look and there was something twitching her lips into a frown. "What is it?"
"You have abandonment issues," she stated factually and Emily sighed.
"I do."
"Me too. Come on, we need to finish these charts," the blonde said, changing the subject. Thankful, Emily looked at the words before her.
"I guess we do,"
.
Walking into the new clinic, she shoved her hands into her pockets as she looked at the new metal racks. Heading over to one of the tables, she, along with Alex and Cristina watched Olivia go over the floor plan. The door opened and she looked behind, meeting eyes with Mark. Looking away, she felt a bitter taste flood her mouth and she sipped her coffee to rinse it out.
.
His breath hitched when Addie ran into that O.R. to push in more anesthesia. He called after her but she ignored him, yelling at him for the weight. He swallowed, giving the estimate as she pushed in the propofol. From the scrub room, he could see her eyes flutter open and shut and his heart raced in his throat. It thudded hard as she began her way to them, stumbling into a tray and knocking it over. Slipping past Derek, he opened the door for her as she fell into his arms. Her arms relaxed against him as he pulled her back, murmuring into her ear.
"I got you. I got you, it's okay." She gasped for air as he strapped an oxygen mask to her. Breathing heavily, her hand grasped around his arms, clinging on as he stroked her hair. Helping her onto a gurney, he returned back to the scrub room as he reported the time periodically.
When he couldn't see what they were doing, he ascended up to the gallery. Her eyes were already drooping and he left her with a promise to come back, returning to the gallery of O.R. 1. He checked his watch; they were at twenty nine minutes. The Chief was talking to the microphone as the two attendings continued on the bowel. "Chief, they're at twenty-nine." Emily slipped past him, settling behind Yang, followed by Stevens.
"What's going on?" the blonde asked as Meredith started explaining. Mark watched Derek as he placed the N.G. tube down the patient's nose skillfully. He bit his lip, chewing it out of nervousness as the interns continued to chatter.
"The Chief figured the anesthesiologist didn't have time to drop an N.G. tube. So now they have to place one and decompress and repack her intestines and close." Mark ran a hand over his cap, walking back and forth before checking the stopwatch again. "And they're about to run out of air."
"Holy crap," Izzie breathed as Emily watched the two surgeons complete their tasks. The Chief talked calmly into the microphone, instructing the cardiothoracic surgeon.
"Preston, you'll need to milk the bowel to get out the excess fluid. Pack her and wrap her and get her ready for transport." The two shared looks, their breath fogging up the mask.
"How's George doing?" Emily asked distractedly, never taking her eyes off the table.
"Medically, he's fine. Emotionally? He's a little stunted if you ask me. You don't marry the rebound girl, am I right?" Izzie questioned, drifting her glance to the other three females. Mark held in a laugh at their conversation, fixing a mask on his face. Neurotoxin in a patient's body. Right.
"You don't marry anyone on a whim," Cristina commented.
"Well, he needs our support." Meredith muttered, following the surgeon's' movements, their movements growing slower.
"He doesn't need us, he's got his Vegas show-wife," Izzie remarked stingingly.
"Ouch, Iz. Come on, he's happy." Emily said with a smile as Mark checked his stopwatch again. His eyes darkened and he leaned towards the Chief.
"Chief, they're at thirty-two minutes. You gotta pull 'em out." Their replies were so breathless, Emily felt her heart leap up to her ears. Burke stumbled before collapsing as Derek walked around the table clumsily, crouching down to shake his colleague before falling onto his side as well. They all stood to attention, reaching towards the glass as neither of the surgeons moved. As if electricity ran through them, they sprang into action, running down the stairs and ordering for gurneys and oxygen masks. Scrubbing in, they grabbed scrub caps and tied their hair up, putting on gowns and gloves. Mark held back, tying Emily's gown for her as Dr. Webber began speaking. Her back was rigid against his fingers and she turned to stare at him, silently asking for him to speak. Looking away, he listened to the Chief speak.
"Okay, damage control. We still have to pack her and wrap her so that she's stable for transport. We work in shifts - one doctor at a time, no one stays in for more than twenty seconds." Nodding, the interns checked over each other to make sure they were properly secure as the Chief offered him first.
"I'm not going in there," he replied immediately. The others turned around disbelievingly as he continued.
"What?"
"It would be irresponsible for the remaining healthy attending to expose himself to the neurotoxin, a neurotoxin whose long term effects we're still unaware of. So I'm staying in here," They all looked forward again until Cristina volunteered to go first.
"I can swim three lengths of my parents' pool underwater."
"You're up, Dr. Yang. Let's get her masks. Sloan, give her the lap pads. You're gonna wet them and pack the cavity." Mark placed a mask and goggles on her face and passed her lap pads. Diving in, she dipped them in water before stuffing them into the body cavity. Running back towards them, she threw off her mask, breathing in the oxygen as she pressed the plastic mask against her face.
"Dr. Stevens, remove the drape and secure the plastic along her sides. It's gotta be tight." Izzie went next, holding onto the wrapping, trying to untangle it unsuccessfully. Again, Mark opened the mechanical door as the blonde ripped off her mask. He pointed to an empty oxygen tank for Izzie as Meredith stepped up.
"Okay, the seal needs to be as close to vacuum-tight as possible. It'll inflate, and then you'll know it's secure." Running in, she untangled the yellow plastic, wrapping it tightly, and waited for it puff up between her fingers. When it did so, she ran back in.
"Moore, you unhook her and get her ready for transport." Stepping up to Mark, she felt his warm fingers brush against her cheek as they settled the glasses on her nose and made sure her mask fit. Walking to the door, she felt someone's eyes on her. Turning to the attending, she nodded slightly.
"Moore," Mark spoke first. He conceded and his eyes showed that she knew. "Be careful," It was unnecessary but her heart warmed nonetheless as she took a deep breath before running into the O.R.
.
When Moore had stepped up, his heart raced faster and he had to say something. He felt as if she was running into Death's arms, although he knew - in reality- she wasn't. So he spoke first, wanting to savor the moment before she raced into the O.R. There were so many things he wanted to say, a lot of things, but he swallowed them and covered her mouth with a mask, made sure her glasses weren't askew and chose the best out of it. It was so fast, as quick as a the blink of an eye and she was back in his arms, breathing heavily into his chest as he pressed the oxygen mask into her mouth. Her arm wrapped around his waist, another over the hand that held the plastic mask as she looked up at him, her eyes full of relief.
The Chief congratulated the interns on their bravery before sending him a glare. He stared back until Webber swung open the door and left. Cristina and Meredith sent the brunette a knowing glance as Izzie cocked her head, following the other two females out. Pulling the mask away from her mouth, she took a step back.
"I'm okay," she whispered before putting the mask back to her face.
"That's good." He nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, "Why are you avoiding me?" She rephrased. He considered brushing it off. Didn't think you wanted to know I was a dad of an imaginary kid. Figured it'd break your heart. Slipped my mind. But she deserved more than that.
"I don't know." It wasn't the whole truth. "I just knew I didn't want to hurt you," There it was. Her shock was visible as she thought. "Why didn't you tell me about your thing?"
"My thing?" she repeated, letting her arm drop. She cradled the plastic mask in her hands as she breathed heavily.
"When Karev came back from that camping trip. About how he left you alone. Why didn't you tell me how you felt? I would've stayed with you - I would've done something."
"Because you're supposed to be the damaged one," she said, voice wavering and he uncrossed his arms, pulling her into a crushing hug. "I don't have anyone besides Alex. I don't have anyone and it feels like that's what it's supposed to be like. I just… Alex and I, we've been drinking buddies since day one. That's all. I just wanted someone."
"You have me now, jailbait," he murmured into her hair and her arms slithered around his waist, burying her face into his chest. "I'm sorry." He pressed a kiss to her hairline.
"Just promise me you'll tell me, whatever happens. Tell me you'll always tell me what's bothering you. No matter what." He pulled his head back, hand cupping her jaw and his thumb brushing over her lips.
"Yeah. I promise." She smiles slightly, pressing her ear against his chest to hear his heart.
"Thank you."
A/N: Edited - September 9, 2018
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone