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5% Here Lies The Wicked / Chapter 3: The Beginning of Spring

Chapter 3: The Beginning of Spring

Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

While Fang Zheng was refreshing for new posts, it happened again—another post turned into an error 404 message. 

It was deleted yet again by the government's Information Department. 

The government's string of extreme responses led Fang Zheng to feel like they were up to something…

All of a sudden!

Fang Zheng's phone buzzed, stopping his train of thought dead in its tracks. It was a notification for a universal tag of all the members of a chat group he was part of with his schoolmates. Within seconds, dozens of new messages were sent.

[Group admin calling for all members!

[Group admin calling for all members!]

[Return of The Immortalized Dad From The Life-Sparing Town of Erectile Dysfunction: Wake up, look up to the sky! Quick! Quick! The moon is being blown up!]

Soon after, all group members who habitually left their phones on when they went to bed were awoken by the texts.

[My Daughter-In-Law Changed The WIFI Password Again, It's 58436: Is the group admin up this late to feed milk to his daughter?]

[My Postgraduate Revision Questions Are Being Kept Blank: :anger: :knife: :crazy: :tired: :tired: :tired: :tired:] It was a long string of emojis.

The outside world burst into chaos.

"Oh, my God!"

"What is that?!"

The city's eyes gazed up at the night sky, memorialising the peculiar sight. It would be something that they would never forget for the rest of their lives. 

There was a blue blood moon in the ordinary moon's place.

It was hauntingly blue.

It was so red, it was as if the sky was soaked in blood.

It was like an incident from ancient times; it felt as if the sky would come crashing down, and the earth would crack, leaving the sky unable to cover the Earth and the Earth failing to harbor the living. It was like an irrepressible fire, or a flood whose end was far off.

Within one night, they had all travelled back to the antique past. It was as shocking as seeing the sky turn red or being victimised by a sudden flood. 

It shocked them all.

Everyone went crazy; they began ringing their friends.

The Internet and online messengers blew up. There was an extraordinary sight in the sky--it was huge news.

[Everyone, nice to meet you! It's my first time using the Internet, so I'm a little nervous. I'm Tang Seng. Miraculously, I am still alive. Transfer 2000 yuan to me for my circumcision. I'll give you my foreskin, which will make you immortal if you eat it. Don't ask me why the price is so low; there's no middleman in this.] 

[Why is a monk getting circumcised?]

[Ugh,I'm getting too dry lately. I'm actually here looking at a monk's meat.]

[I'm a plastic surgeon. If it's 2000 dollars, contact me directly.]

[Oh, Emperor Qin, give me my reward. Xi'an has ten billion tons of gold.]

As the blue blood moon incident continued to manifest itself, people swarmed to the Internet for answers.

Given that the blue blood moon was an outlandish occurrence in the sky, it seemed as if it was a devilish, inauspicious sign. 

A few comments online stood out.

[I became the Human Torch, Jim Hammond. My body can produce and control flames. I have a question: should I go to Xbao to buy a Marvel superhero suit and form my own Buried Love Family to safeguard the peace of the universe?]

[How unfortunate! My height grew from 160cm to 210cm; am I turning into Captain America? But I'm still a young monk. I'm still studying standard six in primary school. How am I supposed to go to school tomorrow to meet my first, second and third wives, as well as my six ex-girlfriends?!]

[I finally found my group! So I wasn't the only one who mutated. I've become the Flash!]

[Young man, welcome to the Buried Love Family.]

[About that, can I change my name? I'm afraid I'll be beaten to death by pedestrians if I said mine out loud!]

[Remember, we're different. We're destined for an alternate journey that is unrecognized by the mainstream world!]

There were users who posted photos on the forum as well.

A pale young man who looked to be in his twenties was standing on a muddy village road wearing a punk-styled leather jacket and a cold expression. His ears were fully pierced and tattoos ran all along his body, up to his red afro and shades. His arm was in flames, holding a lit steel pipe that had gone red, melted, and bent from the heat.

The forum went crazy.

[What amazing photoshop work.]

[Please preserve this endangered, alternative animal. Be civilized and do not attempt to prey on it or scare it away. The alternate animal is 'Smart'; its reproductivity is extremely low — it only breeds once a year. They win the right to mate through dance battles, and even if they mate successfully, they might not give birth to a pure-bred alternate animal. There is a 99.99% chance of mutation. Please preserve this endangered species. Everyone plays a role in doing so; it's hard to find such a pure-bred alternative animal at this day and age.]

[Advertisement: Calling for second-hand Renminbi currency. 85 yuan will be paid. For a 100 yuan bill, 92 dollars is the maximum. Will buy as much as possible.]

Soon after, all comments were deleted. 

The Human Torch, Captain America, Flash… any comments related to them had disappeared. 

The term 'Buried Love Family' was banned as well—What a pity.

By then, however, Fang Zheng had stopped paying attention to the rest of the world. He realised that his thick, dusty copy of 'Unsolved Mysteries of the World', which he had been keeping at home, was suddenly glowing.

Fang Zheng stared at the glowing copy of 'Unsolved Mysteries of the World' in shock. 

After a few seconds, however, the glowing stopped. Before Fang Zheng could make sense of what was happening, the copy of 'Unsolved Mysteries of the World' returned to normal. It was still a dusty encyclopedia, which he had bought on Xbao for 42 dollars during a Buy 1 Free 3 deal at the 11.11 sale. 

It was also at this moment that Fang Zheng realized the blue blood moon had disappeared from the sky. 

'Could these two incidents be connected?'

Fang Zheng felt a mix of fear and doubt.

... Wait!

Thinking of something, Fang Zheng grabbed his copy of Unsolved Mysteries of the World and swoosh! the pages flipped open.

A scroll of scripture made out of human skin slid out from between the pages. It had gone yellow with time, and fell out eerily.

It was a scripture of human skin that had been stripped from a dead body. 

The scripture was covered with worm-like writing that he could not decipher. They were the sizes of knots and appeared older than the Oracle Bone Script.

Fang Zheng pursed his lips. 

This was his habit whenever he was deep in thought. 

He had yet to understand all the taboos surrounding the origins of this script.

Fang Zheng looked over the scripture of human skin again and again. Of course, he gained nothing from it, as usual. It was as if the glow that had shone mere minutes ago had been but an illusion. 

In the blink of an eye, it was already around two or three o'clock in the morning. 

Fang Zheng grabbed the bottle of Liuwei Dihuang teapills next to the copy of 'Unsolved Mysteries Of The World'. 'Could it be that my kidneys aren't working? Was I hallucinating?'

He had been having bad dreams lately. 

He had gone to the pharmacy downstairs a few days ago, where the underaged daughter of the shop owner was on her phone. She had not even lifted her head once. Thud! A box of Liuwei Dihuang teapills was placed on top of the glass counter. 

It was for nourishing one's yin and kidney. 

'Hmm, why does the Liuwei Dihuang pill taste different today? It seems different from the ones before. Yum, it's as smooth as silk and melts right in your mouth.'

Fang Zheng licked the corner of his lips. 

Thud! Within the next second, Fang Zheng felt a tiny universe explode in his gut. His legs jackknifed, and he fell to the ground before passing out. 


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