Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

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Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Things Can Get a Little Weird

Summary:

Star is a very special person. Never has there been a person to share such excitement, such zaniness, and such lovability. No body could ever compare, except maybe the little gem boy she has come to know as "brother."

"Alright men, let's start setting base here, we have a fresh water source!" River shouted to his men. Downside to planning these 'lectures' was that he needed to bring along witnesses who'd actually claimed to have heard him speak. Upside though, he was a King, and thus, had a select few among the royal aides and knights who'd do whatever he ordered them to do.

"Yes, your highness." The guard nodded with little to no complaint. If he had brought along a member of the Johansion clan with him, they'd be in the middle of a brawl tearing up the supplies and forcing them to rely solely on the forest's resources. In many ways, that would've made this expedition more exciting, but he was on a schedule.

Just slay a few monsters, cook them over a campfire, and be home in time for putting his precious little princess to bed with a story of old. Sure she might … no she was definitely going to be as bloodthirsty as him, it was in the eyes. But she had that innocence yet to be tainted by unfair decisions. The girl was barely over a year old and she was already climbing up chandeliers. She was going to be a natural Johansion, regardless of the Butterfly name.

He needed to clear his head. He went over to the river, dunking his head into the water and taking a couple gulps as he took it back out. This was life, nature, a river, a peach floating downstream, the birds chirpin-wait, peaches weren't native in these parts.

River looked closer, realizing it was a matter of depth perception, and what he was looking at was a pink ball, almost translucent. He looked deeper at it, trying to see what was inside until he realized … "A baby is floating in a River." That sounded like one of those stories parents told kids to prevent them from knowing about child birth.

"Bhhhhhhhhh." The baby moaned incoheriently. There didn't seem to be any openings within the orb the baby was in, so the king was inclined to assume this was someone's idea of a sick joke, a trap laid out by the local monster population, or child abandonment. All three ideas fueled River with an immense rage.

"The young one looks even smaller than Star does." He observed as saw the baby pass by him, using his crescent moon staff to stop it from floating down even further. Light peach like skin tone, a bushel of curly dark brown hair, and what appeared to be a pink stone planted on the boy's stomach. "A strange little quirk … I don't suppose you have a name, do you?"

"Bhhhhhhhh." Well that was about as helpful as a wildfire.

"Alright, I suppose it wouldn't do you any good being trapped in there." He picked the bubble up, and began inspecting it all around. "Now how do I.." He gave it a light squeeze, and in an instant, it vanished with a pop. It was with years of quick reflexes, as well as a year of handling Star, that prevented him from letting the boy fall into the water unprotected.

"Gggggghgh." The boy moaned with a light chuckle.

"You're a bit of a rascal yourself, aren't you?" River said with a bemused grin. "You're not too young to cause a ruckus, but what kind of trouble have you been getting up to in these woods?" The water exploded, revealing a serpent that swallowed the child whole, before sinking back to the depths. "... Men, start the fire, I'm bringing back fish!!" With a scream, he tore off his shirt and jumped after the monster.

It was definitely not the most difficult fight River had ever faced, but in that moment, it felt like the most vital. He grabbed the slithering sea beast by the neck as it threw him all around the water, hitting every manner of rock and spike in his way, but his grip was ironclad…literally, he trained himself to squeeze iron bars hard enough to leave dents in the shape of his hand.

"You're not dining on children today! Not on my watch!" He grabbed the serpent by the mouth, dragging the creature to the shore, as it wrapped its massive form around his body, and pulled it wide open, forcing it wider, and wider, and wider…

SHLICKT

The entire head of the vile creature had been split open in have, leaving nothing but a headless husk of a body. "Dear boy, young lad! Can you hear me!" The king shouted down into the corpse.

"Gggghghgh." The familiar giggle brought him a wave of reassurance. Already laughing in the face of danger, this was quite a highly spirited young boy.

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"I swear your father wasn't this terrible with his time management when we were dating." Moon Butterfly gave a small eye roll as she carried her daughter close to her. Normally she'd leave the care of the girl to her servants around moments like this, but the most important lesson she learned from her own mother, aside from great pie recipes, was to spend as much time with your child as you could.

She looked into Star's big and beady eyes, peacefully oblivious to the responsibilities that she would be entrusted with eventually. A small part of her wished that her daughter wouldn't grow up to prevent such a burden, even if that meant living with a few extra holes around the castle. The girl already picked up the habit of going off on her own when no one was looking. It was by the sheer fact that her baby still needed to crawl that Star didn't get that far.

"You're going to be a handful to deal with eventually, aren't you?" Moon decided for the moment to laugh at the most likely outcome. Her daughter responded by letting a slight drool of saliva escape from her mouth, which she quickly cleaned up. "Don't get used to this, it's only going to look cute for so long." Fortunately her daughter inherited her husband's charm. She could only hope that was all she inherited.

"Your father better have a good reason for this." The man came in a second later. "What took you … so long …" She stared at River Moon, her husband, and the baby in his arms. "Honey, do you remember what we talked about if I ever found evidence about you sleeping with other women?"

"Off with my head?"

"Right. So it better not be yours." She had a lingering suspicion about what the lectures really were, especially since she never saw the man publicly speak in any circumstances. Sadly, the Butterfly line wasn't known for successful marriages, so the fear always lingered in the back of her mind.

"Of course not my butterfly, I'd never betray your trust." He smiled. "Found him floating in the river, in a pink bubble of all things. My top theory at the moment is child abandonment."

She scanned the man for any signs of lying. His armpits were not covered in sweat and his beard wasn't twitching in the slightest. That calmed down the boiling rage that was building up in her heart. She shook her head and took a look at the boy in her husband's hands. The pink stone-like object on him brought some sense of familiarity, but Moon otherwise shook it off. "Any leads on who the parents are?"

"Sadly no. The guards couldn't find any trace of anybody else in the forest, and I was rather persistent on getting the lad out of there to prevent him from being swallowed whole by another serpent. Ran into two bears and three vultures trying to snatch him up on the way back."

"... You had your 'lecture' in the forest?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It was a lecture on wildlife preservation." THERE were the sweaty armpits. "But still nothing. I was going to give him to the orphanage but it was already so late and, well, I didn't want to be apart from you any longer."

"Alright, I suppose I'll accept it." For now. She'll need to have a security detail spy on her husband next time. "We'll put him in the nursery for now, but we'll put him in the orphanage the moment the morning sun rises." The castle could barely contain one baby at a time. Speaking of, her daughter had her eye's latched on to the younger infant in the room, her hands reaching out in what looked like an effort to grab the boy. "Now Star, he isn't a playmate, he's just a guest that'll eventually grow up to be one of your loyal subjects." The kingdom was founded upon both magic and corn after all, they needed to keep the farming population going strong.

"Buuu." The little girl sounded out, almost disappointed.

"Aaaahhh." And now the little boy … was … floating.

"I swear he didn't do that when I found him!" River cried out.

Small pink bubbles formed … very familiar pink bubbles …"River…you swear that he was found all alone…nobody around…not even oddly skinned women with gemstones in peculiar places, or that this is a boy to begin with?"

"The guard I had change him on the way here can attest to the latter." This was starting to form a bizarre picture in the Queen's mind, a scenario that she couldn't have predicted in any circumstances.

The bubbles started to form more and more around the younger infant, actually floating in the air and towards herself, particularly her daughter who began reaching out to it. "Buba!" Star shouted elatedly, stretching out her tiny fingers towards the object.

"Star, don't try to get closer to it, we don't know what it'll do." Moon put her daughter down and intended to swat the bubble away like a fly…

Bomp

Only to have her hand sent back in recoil as the bubble popped with a slight boom, causing a light sting to her arm making her flinch. "Haaagghh." Star only giggled more, the tiny hearts on her face giving off a slight glow.

"This…this isn't possible, she swore she'd never come back." The Butterfly's had many allies to their kingdom over the generations, but notably one of the most helpful one's was the Rose Guard, a friendly, if somewhat aloof, figure that came and went about her business however she wanted. And somehow they had a child with her abilities.

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Star didn't understand a lot of what was going on, but she did understand one thing. These pink bubbles were pretty! They flew around the room and made a wonderful noise when they hit other things. The lady she called mama looked afraid of something for some reason, but that didn't make sense, there wasn't anything scary here!

The hairy man she called dada did kind of look like a bear a little, but bears weren't scary, they were big and huggable, and if they tried to bite her, then metal people came with an ax and took off their heads. She wanted to do that one day, they looked so cool too. But whenever she got too close to an ax it was either too heavy or mama dragged her away.

Everyone was looking at the other small person in the room, the one that made the bubbles, the only person Star ever saw that was as small as her. That flying horse head was smaller, though that was probably because it was just a head. There wasn't anything scary about that guy, if he made something pretty, then that had to make him a fun person, and fun people were always good people. It was nice to share a crib for once too, company was always welcomed.

"Oh what do we do, what do we do, what do we do…" Mama repeated over and over. "The moment the Magical High Commission gets wind of this, they'll put this kid under lock and key, and that's the best case scenario. They don't have a good track record when it comes to kids. Festivia alone was a complete disaster." Star didn't understand what any of those words meant

"Now come on, Moon Pie, we don't know for certain about this boy's parentage. So what if he makes a couple of floating bowling balls? That's not anything to be too worried about."

"Even if what I suspect is true, he's still a baby with access to magic, someone outside of the Butterfly line and not a member of the commission. That alone is cause enough for concern at the very least."

"You'd think after a couple millennia they'd let go of that rule. There is an entire family of floating horse heads and another with access to and from other worlds without dimensional scissors."

"They're stubborn, that's what it is. The moment Eclipsa expressed interest in monsters, they practically put her under a microscope, for all the good it did in the end." Star only understood that they were talking about magic, and magic was fun!

Was that the deal with this guy next to her? Was he a magic baby just like she was? That was so cool! He made her smile with magic bubbles, so she wanted to do the same for him! She raised up her arms in the air and tried to shoot something out, like a laser, or a puppy! Oh, what about a laser puppy? That was twice as cool! "Gagh." Damn it, nothing came out, so frustrating!

"Bagh…ahgh…" The magic baby was right, she couldn't give up so soon. Obviously he was wise beyond his years, and the shoulder pat he gave her was really nice! She just had to try harder, that was it! Like dada said, if you hit a wall over and over, it'll break!

"Well obviously we can't just send him to any old orphanage, that's just asking for trouble among the populace." Mama continued to talk while she concentrated on a tingly feeling in her arms. "And sending him to Earth might be more trouble than it's worth, the Rose Guard always tended to be more dangerous the more emotional she was."

"And any guardian that leaves their child in the woods is unfit to be one to begin with." Her dada grumbled as Star felt a warmness building up in her cheeks. "Well it wouldn't hurt Star to have a playmate around the house."

"River, don't even begin to suggest what I assume you're thinking."

"Not forever, just until we can find someplace more suitable for his powers…"

"Right next to the place the Magic Council would notice him!? Might as well place a magnifying glass next to sta-" Mama stopped talking, looking at her. Was she doing it right? Making laser puppies?

"Star.." Dada called her name, but she couldn't see him, or mama for some reason, because her entire body was now a bright and shiny, glowing pink for some reason. Well, it wasn't a laser puppy, but it was still pretty cool. It felt funny though, like something was filling a balloon. And balloons always go pop! Was that what she needed to do? Just go pop and something amazing would happen?

The boy was smiling next to her, giving a great back pat in support. Guess that meant she was right. Now all she had to do was pop and everything would be great!

"GET DOWN!" Mama and Dada yelled as Mama used that wand thingy to wave something blue in the air. It was pretty, but she doubted it would be as pretty as what she would make!

KABOOOOOOOMMM

Most of her room was gone when she was finally able to see things clearly again, but the magic baby boy was still next to her, and he was smiling, and had stars on his face now. Absolutely everything went right!

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Glossaryck Pov-Explains the situation regarding 'the rose guard's' child, and leaves the fate of the kid to their hands

"After my five hour study session I have concluded … that this is a boy." Glosseryck rolled his eyes at what should've been pretty obvious, but magic tended to make things a bit tricky.

"I know it's a boy. I would like to know why it has Rose's gem!" Moon shouted. "I thought Gems were immortal, or didn't have children! And why does he now have stars on his cheeks, and would it kill you to explain anything involving where he came from!?"

"... That last one might." He shrugged. There were very few things in all of existence that could do any lasting damage on him. The Diamonds were a pain for sure. "There's a very big misconception about immortality, people assume just because you're capable of living up till the cosmic heat death of the universe, that you're unkillable. Gems can shatter and break, or get shoved into a human body like a round peg in a square hole. Seriously, the kid's guts are a mess."

"Does that mean he'll die … or is he living because there's a gem shoved in there?" River asked him.

"More so the latter than the former. For all intents and purposes, that gem is his. Quite the tricky experiment you pulled off, Rose Quartz, didn't think you had it in you."

"But if the Gem is in him … where is Rose?" Moon asked with a hint of worry. Despite the break up there was a tinge of companionship after all.

"Seeing as Gem existence is tied to the Gem itself, she's probably one with the magic now." That or she completely ceased to exist altogether, but now didn't seem like the time to drop existential humor on the two.

"Great, Rose died and left her child in a river, why not?" He'd have to look into the father later, he was sure there had to be some genetic reason for his existence. "That still doesn't explain the star emblems on his face now. Ignoring the fact he's a boy, he in a likelihood isn't a mewman."

Glosseryck would save the history of mewmanity origins for a later date. "Rose Quartz's power works on a deep empathetic level. The more she felt towards something, the stronger her power was. The same can be said for the lad in question." He pointed to the two infants that were fast asleep. "That combined with your daughter dipping down created a lot of concentrated energy mixed on a very fine level … you're just lucky they were happy or everything within a five mile radius would have been atoms."

"Great, not even two years old, and my daughter is already the equivalent of a magical atomic bomb." That may have been putting it lightly. "Is there any way to separate the bond they created?"

"My queen, I am always down for a good cleaving, but doing so at such a young stage might cause irruptable damage. Best case scenario, they both lose the ability to use magic, worst case, they'll both die instant but agonizing deaths." He looked at the babies. "I won't judge if you chose to just make another kid, plenty of queens before Skywynne did the same."

"I'm choosing to ignore those last few details." Moon groaned with a face palm. "I know you're not one for politics, and I know the moment I ask for help raising these kids you're going to laugh and jump into the book." Obviously, though he may snag some pudding from the kitchen. "But you have the most authority with the Magic Council, and we both know what they'll say about this."

"Yep, they basically have the perfect recipe for a child soldier, a Rose Guard they can actually personally control." They were all so panicky when it came to something new and unexplained. "What I know is my business, and my business alone, so my mouth is sealed for the moment. The question now is, what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm…I'm not sure." The Queen said hesitantly. "Rose did have allies back on earth still, they could take him in…but the connection with Star now makes things difficult."

"Looks like the two already have their minds made up." River glanced at the babies, holding each other as they slept. "You know, from the right angle, they do look related."

"... Neither of us has black hair."

"Skips a generation." He shrugged. "We just need him to wear long shirts that cover his belly button, and nobody will suspect a thing."

"And with such a strong connection between them, her magic could only grow stronger." Glosseryck added in, not trying to persuade anyone, just stating the facts. "And with the Rose guard's strength, it's like he's been naturally born to be her knight."

"... If he grows up like you, I will consider the cleave." Looks like everything would be fine and dandy in Castle Butterfly for the moment.

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"Wait, so babies come from water?" The four years old Quartz Universe Butterfly asked his dad. "Then why did mom tell me they came from mewman bellies?"

"Does that mean if I take enough baths I'll find a baby in there?" Star, his sister, asked with sparkly eyes. "I get to cuddle him, feed him, and teach him how to wrestle warhorses into submission!" That was what she already did when they were together.

"That wasn't the point I was mak…never mind." His dad shook his head with a light chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is when people say you two look different, there's a reason why, and it's not going to be whatever you might hate some of the citizens whisper about."

"What would they whisper about?" He asked.

"We'll, it's silly to think about in general, and completely impossible to even fathom.." Their dad spoke in funny sounding chuckles.

"I know, you and mom love each other, there's no way either of you would have other people that you'd kiss in secret when no one else is looking." Star reaffirmed with a nod. "And what do you mean we look different? We have face marks, we're totally the same!" His sister pressed her face against his, making them both squeeze like clay.

"Yeah, the only difference between us is hair, eyes, and that gem thing on my belly. Otherwise me and Star are indisginguishable from each other!"

"Indistinguishable." Dad corrected.

"Exactly!" Quartz shouted and picked his sister up. Despite her being taller, she felt extremely light to carry. "And I got muscles too, can't forget that."

"You saying I ain't strong, bro? I'll show you!" Star laughed and put her hands on his face, blinding his vision and forcing him to lean back. "You don't have my killer instinct!"

"No no, you have the instinct!"

"Don't make me strike your weakness!"

"Anything but the weak spot!"

"Tickles!" Star screamed, hitting him in the most vital of areas.

"Stop, please, it's too much!" He was giggling to the point there were tears of joy clouding his vision, this was fun but he needed to end now. "Please, stop it, stop it….I said stop!" Pink surrounded him and he found himself surrounded in a familiar bubble. "Huh, it happened again…"

"Star, get down!" Dad charged at Star and they got behind a door. Looks like the clean up guys had to build another room.

Kablaam!

The bubble exploded like they always seemed to do. Good thing that it looked like only the floor took the most damage this time around. "Coast is clear! It was only a mild kablam today."

"Aw man, I was hoping for a big kaboom boom this time around." Well those were fun, but mom got tired of seeing so many scorch marks everywhere, and he usually tried to not make his mom mad.