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96.42% A F**ked Up Reincarnation / Chapter 27: Chapter 26: Rewards

Chapter 27: Chapter 26: Rewards

**Satoshi's Diary: Confusion**

"Boss, Boss, hey BOSS!" I woke up to someone shaking me by the shoulder and shouting. What were these strange war memories I kept seeing? And this was the second time I'd seen these images. The frustrating part was that whenever I went to that place, I acted as if I had a mission to fulfill, as if I had to complete that mission. In that moment, I ignored everything else I had been thinking about or wanted to do. 'Some things don't return to be forgotten, but to be remembered.' Grandpa, for god's sake, shut the fuck up, why would you say some stupid shit like that to a kid? If I was a soldier, I'm sure I'd remember that.

"Boss, I think we won!" they said again, shaking me and bringing me back to reality.

I looked around, and the arena was echoing with the sounds of cheers. The announcer was somberly announcing the deaths of the Waiter and the wizard. As I stood up, the entire arena's attention turned to me. They were all giving me judgmental looks, and as if I couldn't hear them, they began talking amongst themselves.

"Hey, does that mean they won?" "Did anyone bet on those losers?" "This is definitely staged to rob us!" "We want our money back!" "I don't care about the money, but a gentleman shouldn't have died like that!" "Yeah, exactly! You should have killed that ugly guy instead!" "BOOOO! Terrible script, if you're going to take our money, at least give us something decent!" "Hey, if you ignore the northerner in the middle, the other two's magic tricks were actually pretty good." "You know, now that you mention it, you might be right..."

I didn't realize until I heard these insults that I hadn't even blinked. Aurora, that bitch, drowning me over and over again must have really messed with my mind... Ugh, just thinking of her name still sends shivers down my spine.

"It seems our winners are the group of scavengers!"

"BOOOOOOO!!" The crowd shouted.

"Boo yourselves, you bastards!" I said.

"Step forward and introduce yourselves!" the announcer continued.

--------------------------------------------

Satoshi's friends stepped forward, proudly puffing out their chests as they began speaking.

"We were born into a poor family! But just because we were born poor doesn't mean we accepted staying poor!"

The crowd started listening attentively, and they continued.

"And that's why we did every dirty job from scams to murder!"

"YEAHH!"

"And you know what?"

The announcer asked, "What?"

Pointing to their fallen group member on the ground, one of them said, "We're actually triplets! When we were born, our parents couldn't afford to feed all of us, so they gave the three of us the amount of food meant for just one child. We were all skinny but that's how we learned to share everything and watch each other's backs. And now, one of us is dead... The brother I set out on this journey with, in the hopes of becoming rich, has lost his life. And it's made us think about all the bad things we've done!"

The crowd's eyes were teary, and the announcer, feeling sad, asked, "Are you regretting what you've done?"

The man spread his arms out wide and said in an even louder voice, "No because, WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!"

"YEAHHHHH!!!"

"Huh? What do you mean, your brother died, you heartless bastard?" someone from the arena chimed in.

"Hahaha! If we had stayed in the village, all three of us would have died long time ago. Everyone in the village was burned to death by a Wyvern, and here we are! Only one of us died, and now we can finally request our dream from the king! Hahaha! And we don't feel an ounce of guilt for scamming or robbing you rich pricks. If I could do it all over again... I'd do it again, damn it!"

"YEAHHHH!"

"And we didn't just steal your money! We stole your hearts too! We have a band, and we're so good that if we had only played music, it probably would have been enough to feed us! But we couldn't sleep at nights without scamming at least one of you noble fucks! So we kept doing it!"

The announcer wiped away a tear and said, "I can't believe I felt sorry for bastards like you, you scum of the earth!"

"YEAHHH! Call us that, we like it!"

"Just tell us your name already!" the announcer shouted angrily.

"Our... our name is... hmm..."

"Say it already, damn it!" a villager yelled from the crowd.

After thinking for a moment, he asked, "Does telling you our name piss you off?"

The crowd shouted in unison, "YES!!"

The man grinned proudly and said, "Then we're not telling you!"

"Bastard!!" "You wasted our time!!" "Scamming asshole!" "Execute the prick!!" "Yeah, these parasites don't deserve to live, boooo!!"

Both group members started making weird noises as if they were enjoying the insults.

After a while, when the insults were flying around, the announcer got permission from the king with a hand signal and asked, "Then at least tell us what you want!"

Satoshi stepped forward and raised his hand. "I haven't introduced myself."

The announcer, irritated, replied, "Looking at you, I'm sure you're the leader of these two pieces of shit, so why should we ask, huh? You're just going to piss us off by not telling us either, aren't you?"

"I'm not their leader. We just met here before the fight."

The announcer, raising an eyebrow skeptically, asked, "Hmm, really?"

The other two nodded in agreement with Satoshi, and the announcer continued, "Then what's your name?"

Satoshi smiled, took a deep breath, opened his mouth, then closed it, repeating this about ten times before asking, "What was the question again?"

"I knew you were an even bigger piece of shit than the other two!" the announcer said, exasperated.

The crowd, unable to hold back anymore, hurled insults at the trio while pelting them with tomatoes and various vegetables.

--------------------------------------------

I could have just said my name was Satoshi, but I couldn't help myself, what can I do? Ah, that aside, do these people bring vegetables just to throw at us, or do they bring them to eat and then decide to throw them when the moment seems right?

This was a really good question, so I asked the two idiots beside me. We were just about to debate the topic when the announcer called out to us.

"If you don't come forward and say what you want right now, you won't get anything at all!"

It seemed the announcer had run out of patience. I knew what I wanted, but I first wanted to hear what these two clowns wanted, so I gave them priority.

The pianist brother stepped forward and shouted,

"We want to be nobles and govern a region that our king decides!"

"YEAHHH!"

I could hear murmurs rising from the crowd in response to this request. "The audacity!" "These lowborn scum as nobles? Don't make me laugh!" "I'm sure the king won't take this seriously." "Arrogant bastards!"

I didn't think something like this was possible either, but at that moment, the king stood up, stretched his hand forward, palm down, and said,

"I grant it."

While the nobles murmured amongst themselves about how wrong this decision was, I had only one thought in my head: 'Wait a minute, can we really ask for something like that? I really hit the jackpot!'

The king then leaned over to an old beast-folk man beside him and whispered something. It was now my turn.

I asked for the same thing, but the king stepped forward, gave a thumbs down, and said,

"I can not grant that!"

What do you mean, you 'can not grant that'? Not even 'I won't grant it'? Are you messing with me?!

"Why not?!" I protested, but then I noticed the king glaring down at me angrily. So, like any true man, I immediately got down on my knees and apologized.

"Forgive my disrespect, Your Majesty, but if it's not too much trouble, I'm curious about the reason."

The king must have been pleased with my Japanese-style ancestral groveling technique because he calmly replied,

"Because I have no more land to give! And I don't think you want to be a landless, penniless noble."

Hmm, he's right... what else can I ask for then? Yes, I want a MILF, but if I were a noble, I could get a MILF anyway. You see, I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone.

If I can't be a noble, I want enough money that even nobles will come to me when they're in trouble. That way, those poor, bankrupt noble MILFs over 30 with their calcium-ballons crawling on my feet and asking for my help, hahaha!

"I want to be the richest person in this kingdom!"

"I can not grand that either!"

"Why not? I mean can I ask for the reason your majesty?"

"Because the richest person in this kingdom," after a brief pause of leaving us hanging, "is me," he said.

But I still hadn't given up on asking for gold. While these two idiots were becoming nobles and getting land, at the very least, I should be able to get some gold.

So I asked again, "Then I want to be richer than an average noble."

The king raised his hand, palm facing down. I was getting excited, thinking I was finally going to get what I wanted when he said,

"I do not grant it!"

Huh?! Then why did you make that hand gesture? So I asked... and he replied that he was about to grant it, but when he saw the creepy smile on my face, he changed his mind...

A creepy smile? Maybe I got too excited thinking about MILFs...

While I was figuring out what to do, the king spoke again,

"What happened to that speech you gave about what you wanted, young man? Even I was impressed by it!"

My speech?.. Oh yes, the MILF. They even asked me what kind of MILF I wanted, and I got caught up in the moment and said, 'If she breathes then she breeds'... But I can't do that right now, I want wealth, fame, and a MILF all at the same time, that's why I made my request to the king.

"I want to marry a rich noble woman over 30, preferably a widow with a child!"

I could hear the crowd judging me, "You sick bastard!" "Who would want a old widow?" "Yeah, exactly, this weirdo even wants her to have a child!"

Judge me all you want, I will never be ashamed of my dreams!

"I'd love to make that happen, young man, but I can't force a noblewoman into marriage... not because I can't, but because it goes against my principles."

You can't do this, you can't do that, what the hell can you do?!

"However, if someone here among the nobles is interested in you, I, King Aurelius Leonheart, will owe them a favor!" he said.

Ah, the king really is a stand-up guy! However, after some time had passed, not a single word came from the nobles. In fact, if you look closely, all of the noble- ah, I can't even insult them, angels were giving me scornful looks. Then, a woman's voice was heard from the crowd.

"I-I'm not a noble, a-and I don't have a child, but..." The speaker was a woman in her 30s with large breasts, blonde hair, and green eyes. She seemed extremely shy.

"B-but if he wants, w-we can make one together!" she continued.

At that moment, I could swear my jaw hit the floor in shock. Who was this goddess of beauty who desired me? And she was a shy one too.

I slapped myself as hard as I could, and it seemed this wasn't a dream!!!!

The king looked at me as if seeking my approval. Without a second thought, I gave a thumbs up. But when I think about it now, I should have a second thought...


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