Chapter 7: MEN
Men never charmed me.
I disliked them, to say the least. I just did not get the fact in how they were superior compared to women. It was something I could never understand no matter how many times I tried to make sense of it.
The flirtatious character they had did not even flatter me and to a point, I had thought that maybe I had a problem. Girls threw themselves at their feet and I could not even come up with a smile when a man looked at me.
I just never wanted to be at the mercy of a man taking how cruel they were. I had parents and I had seen how their marriage was even though they acted like I was too blind to notice.
They had relationships with other people and acted like it was okay. What was marriage supposed to be like them?
I thought for someone to be married to be with someone they had to be truly in love with them. Everyone wanted true love no matter how many times they denied it.
What was true love though? Was it the person who made you the happiest? I thought that it was the person even when words were not shared you could still feel the connection.
Someone who looked at you and all at once everything else seized to exist and it was like it was just the two of you. The person who made you feel that nothing else mattered because they were there for you.
For someone to be happy they needed to be in love in marriage. I did not understand the concept of being with someone you did not want to be with.
What had the society turned to? It was like marriage was a must like it was a duty that someone had to fulfil so it did not matter if it was what they wanted.
Why couldn't people just choose to be happy? Why deny yourself a beautiful thing like that. There were times I wondered why my mother never left my father.
She never looked happy with him. She looked content. He gave him the title and rank in society. That is all that mattered. If she ever thought of leaving him she would be the one at fault.
Some girls my age would kill for the opportunity to marry my dad and that thought itself made me retch.
She would be the bad person in society for leaving someone who would provide her with everything she ever needed. They never thought about the things that the man would have done wrong.
I wished that I never found myself in such a situation. Why did society look down on women who did not want to be married? With the way men carried themselves who would want to be married to them though?
You could never take men serious anymore. One day you would be everything they ever wanted and the next day you were everything they despised. Who had the energy for that?
You would give someone your whole heart and to them, you would just be another girl they were toying with. I never took men seriously and did not think it would start anytime.
I did not want to be another girl in their book that they had played with. I always knew their tactics and would use them on them so that we would know who was the better player.
It was better to be prepared than to believe all that fairy tale bullshit and end up being the one with a broken heart.
"Are you even listening to me?", asks Lorenzo as he distracts me from my thoughts. What was he saying again? I was completely lost and did not have the slightest idea.
He was charming and smelled nice. He looked good given the fact that I had sex with him. Who would say no to such a body? He was ripped and you could see it right through his shirt.
I did not like him, I only liked the attention he gave me. The fact that he did not go, girl, or any other girl and came for me also shocked me.
Some girls wanted that that wanted him were so hot. It intrigued me why he wanted me too bad and I just felt nice knowing all those other people wanted him.
"Am sorry my mind was elsewhere what were you saying?", I ask as I smile at him.
"I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?" he asks.
Why would men not listen to simple instructions? It was always supposed to be a one-night thing. If I had known that I would have met with him and he was going to be a total pain in the ass then I would never have slept with him.
Now all I was stuck with was a guy who would not leave my site and had somehow not gotten tired of me. Do not get me wrong it was nobbled of him to ask me out and tell me how much he wanted me but I was not the one for him.
I was not the girl he would take home to his mom or show me off to his friends because I was the love of his life. All I could ever bring him was pain and heartache.
The moment I thought something was a miss was the time I would lose all interest in him. He was too sweet that I could not get to tell him now.
All I had to do was just give him what he wanted and if he got hurt in the end that would be his fault. I tried to warn him but he thought I was playing.
"Okay sure one date and you stop bothering me", I say.
"They can be two depending on how good the first one will go", he says chuckling.
"You don't know what you're messing with, don't blame anyone when you get hurt", I say chuckling and he just shrugs his shoulders.
This was another reason why I never liked men. You would tell someone the way you were not what they wanted and tell them to go and find another girl who would love them but somehow they always thought that they were the one.
That they would finally make you see how good men were and you would change your thinking. No one needed fixing and I wondered why they always thought they could just fix someone and make them who they wanted them to be like or act like. When it did not work and they got hurt they would shame them and make them look like the bad guy. She warned you though did she not?
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