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97.42% Maybe a Fake Gintama / Chapter 567: The Novel You Are Reading Is That Kind of Novel

Chapter 567: The Novel You Are Reading Is That Kind of Novel

Meanwhile, on the main ship of the Quick Response Team orbiting Earth, a man with messy hair and sunglasses standing in the control room suddenly sneezed.

"Hahaha, feels like Miss A'Liang is thinking about me, hahaha…" Sakamoto rubbed the back of his head and giggled, then decided on his own, "Alright! Decided! For now, let's head back to the Smile Bar..."

Before he could finish, Sakamoto was struck in the groin and fell to the ground, clutching himself and twitching slightly.

"What... are you doing, Mutsu..." Sakamoto turned around, looking at the culprit of the painful blow.

"Is this the time for such things?" Mutsu took a step forward, delivering another kick without glancing at Sakamoto.

"Target lost!" reported a member of the Quick Response Team in charge of radar search from the control console. "Captain, this is..."

"Completely hidden in the darkness?" Sakamoto stood up, clutching his groin, and glanced at the radar screen before the member smirked slightly and commented softly, "The Phantom Mercenary Tribe is no joke~."

"Is this the time to be impressed?" Mutsu retorted.

"No need to worry," Sakamoto said nonchalantly, crossing his arms as he looked out the window at the blue planet. That planet has them, after all."

...

At this moment, on Earth, in Kabukicho Park, Edo.

Katsura rode a white horse, wearing armor and a headband specific to Joi Patriots. One hand held the reins, the other raised high with a sword, shouting, "Charge! Attack the universe!!"

By the way, Katsura also had a white flag with "Galactic Unmatched" written on it tied next to him.

Seeing the unruly white horse neighing and jumping around, Kagura, standing beside it, retorted, "Zura, you can't reach the universe on that white wooden horse."

As Kagura finished speaking, the white horse threw Katsura off and, with a neigh, kicked him away with its hind legs.

"Oh, it's that kind of launching device," Gintoki muttered to himself, then turned away along with Shinpachi and Kagura, giving a half-hearted cheer, "With that, maybe you can really reach the universe. Good luck."

Lying on the ground, twitching and bleeding from his mouth, Katsura struggled to raise his hand, "Wait... wait, you guys, how can you ignore the crisis of Earth's survival? Are you still samurai?"

"If 'keeping a pet instead of recognizing it's an alien invader' is considered samurai, then I quit," Shinpachi retorted expressionlessly.

The story started after Kawaki left the restaurant. With his not-so-bright mind and many writing boards at home, Katsura finally remembered the last time he saw Elizabeth.

A woman in the same white suit as Elizabeth, with big red lips and a red bow on her head, appeared and explained the truth behind Elizabeth's sudden departure.

"Yes, that person and I are not some cute pets but invaders of this planet. We are a spy unit sent to enemy territory to gather intelligence, secretly active under Dakini, Amanto, and Yato. We are feared as the White Demons. Our name is—Renpou!"

"He disguised himself as your pet to gather intelligence on Earth for our team. Your cute pet is their captain, and they've completed their mission and returned to the mothership, erasing all unfavorable memories. You forgot him because he erased your memory."

These were the exact words of the woman who claimed to be Elizabeth's ex-girlfriend. And then... Katsura ended up like this...

Watching Gintoki and the others leave, Katsura struggled to raise his head and shouted, "You guys! You'd rather believe that fake Fujiko's words than Elizabeth? I won't accept it! Elizabeth invading Earth? That loose woman being Elizabeth's ex-girlfriend..."

Before he could finish, Katsura was suddenly overshadowed. The source of the shadow was the so-called loose woman, temporarily referred to as Fujiko, standing with her legs on either side of Katsura's head, her suit giving a clear view from Katsura's perspective.

"Oh my, where am I loose?" Fujiko teased, lifting her suit.

"You..." Katsura's eyes widened, and he couldn't form a complete sentence, his body stiffening from some stimulation.

"Can you tell me?" Fujiko pretended to be troubled, swaying her body, "Where am I loose?"

"W-what...where, you..." Katsura stammered, his cheeks flushing red, his body trembling, but his eyes fixed upwards.

"Why would you help a loose woman like me?" Fujiko asked, her voice full of seduction.

"I-I-I..." Katsura covered his eyes, weakly retorting, "I'm not helping you! It's not to expel foreign enemies as a patriot! It's as a friend!"

Katsura's tone calmed, "Even with hundreds of doubts and evidence, I believe in the shared drink. That's men's friendship..."

Then, Katsura sat up, back facing everyone, continuing, "He must be in some trouble, caught in a difficult situation. He must be very distressed."

Katsura turned back, looking earnestly at everyone, "Whether it's the galaxy or a river of blood, I'll cross it to save my friend!"

Seeing the blood streaming from Katsura's nose, Shinpachi muttered, "No, you've already created a river of blood."

After hearing Katsura's speech, Fujiko chuckled softly, "He's not as simple as you think, but it doesn't matter. Our enemy is the same, right? If you don't want Earth destroyed, you'll help, won't you?"

Sitting on the railing, Gintoki impatiently said, "Stop joking. Who's going to help you invade Earth? Do you even know how to write 'invade'? Huh?"

Squatting and writing "invade each field" on the ground with a stick, Kagura turned and replied, "It's probably too difficult for Yato."

Fujiko beckoned to Gintoki, raising an eyebrow, "How about making a deal, kid? Although it's a pity it's not in bed."

"Who are you calling a kid? You bastard," Gintoki instantly retorted, "You, how long are you going to act like the virtuous Fujiko? You, without [beep] or [beep], loose woman!"

In the next moment...

Standing on a swing, Fujiko shouted, "Oh my, didn't you notice? There's a celestial maiden flying above you~"

Lying under the swing, nose bleeding, eyes following Fujiko's movements, Gintoki thought in shock, "So fast! It instantly turned into this indecent relationship!"

"What do you mean so fast?! You clearly ran over to peep!" Shinpachi angrily retorted.

"What a pity!" With that, Gintoki instantly vanished.

In the next moment...

"You've been a pervert from the start!" Shinpachi retorted again.

"Didn't expect Earth to have such loose men, really surprising~" Fujiko, shaking hands with Gintoki, praised sincerely.

"Misspelled!" Shinpachi retorted vehemently, "What are you two acknowledging each other for?! How are you shaking hands?!"

"Understanding other races in a short time." Katsura walked over, looking serious, "If we talk to Elizabeth, we can surely reconcile!"

"They haven't said a word to each other," Shinpachi retorted again.

"Anyway, we need a battle plan." Katsura rubbed his chin, thinking to himself.

In the next moment, Katsura, Gintoki, and Kagura lay on the ground, looking up at the scenery inside Fujiko's suit.

"Well then, use me as a map to plan the battle."

"So, about that," Katsura tentatively said, "If we consider this as the universe..."

"What are you talking about?" Gintoki scolded, "A woman's body is already a universe."

"No universe, only a forest," Kagura retorted.

Unable to bear it, Shinpachi turned to the sky and shouted, "Elizabeth! You can destroy Earth now!"

As Shinpachi finished, he heard a loud crash and the screams of Gintoki and the others behind him, instantly leaving him expressionless.


CREATORS' THOUGHTS
nyawdao2 nyawdao2

Please give this novel 5 stars review and power stone ;)

Read a few chapters ahead on readfanfic.com

Read up to 40 chapters ahead on p atreon.

https://www.p atreon.com/FL_Behind

Our community on discord: discord. gg /t66agbE

Chapter 568: When Troublesome People Carry Troublesome Things, Only Trouble Ensues

After a few seconds of silence, Shinpachi mechanically turned around slowly. Seeing the flattened ground, his face twisted into a look of constipation-like discomfort.

"You've got to be kidding! They're really attacking! They're actually invading Earth!"

At that moment, a spaceship slowly descended above Shinpachi's head, and a broadcast announced, "Captain! Obstruction cleared!"

"Hahaha, is that so, is that so? Then prepare to land... whoa!!"

Seeing Mutsu jump down from the spaceship and land heavily in front of him, Shinpachi's mouth hung open, his face twitching in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" Mutsu looked disdainfully at Sakamoto, who she had landed on, "Are you trying to destroy Edo before those guys arrive?"

"Huh?" Shinpachi snapped out of it, his eyes wide, staring blankly at Sakamoto and Mutsu before him, "You... you're...!!"

"Hahaha, hahaha..." Sakamoto stood up, unfazed by the blood streaming down his forehead, giggling as he rubbed the back of his head, "Long time no see. How many chapters has it been? The air on Earth is indeed refreshing."

"Sa... Sakamoto-san, Mutsu-san!!"

"Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha... whoa!"

"Long time no see, Tatsuma..." Kawaki, who had appeared behind Sakamoto, kicked him to the ground and stomped on his head, grinning widely with a cold glint in his eyes, "Welcome to... hell."

"Hahaha, still joking as usual, Kawaki," Tatsuma forced a smile, turning his face to the side, "It's Earth, Earth, not hell. Hahaha..."

"No, for you, it's hell, you bastard..." Kawaki gritted his teeth, bent down, grabbed Sakamoto's hair, and lifted him, "Did you do it on purpose? Just because you haven't appeared in a while, you did this on purpose? Do you really want me to kill you?"

"It hurts, it hurts, my hair's going to come off," Sakamoto struggled, tears glistening, "I don't know what you're talking about. I finally got some screen time, hahaha..."

"Is that so? You don't remember? Let me help you recall..." Veins bulging on his forehead, Kawaki raised his leg and kicked Sakamoto in the groin.

"Aaaah!!" Sakamoto screamed in pain.

"Nice shot. It looks like he won't recover anytime soon," Mutsu nodded approvingly, rubbing her chin.

Five minutes later, seeing Sakamoto tortured beyond recognition, a compassionate Shinpachi tried to reason with Kawaki, "Uh, Kawaki-san, maybe you should pause for a bit. There are more important things than your anger right now."

"It'll be over soon. Just taking out the trash." Kawaki didn't look back, continuing to kick Sakamoto.

Realising Kawaki wouldn't listen, Shinpachi turned to Mutsu, "Uh, Mutsu-san, why is the Quick Response Team here?"

"Oh..." Mutsu finally remembered her original purpose. " It looks like we made it in time, so that's good."

"Did you make it in time?" Shinpachi's expression grew serious. "Do you also know Earth is being invaded?"

"Wait... stop... whoa! Stop... for a moment... whoa!" Still being beaten by Kawaki, Sakamoto mumbled incoherently, "Earth... whoa! Earth is being invaded! We need to... pause for a moment... whoa!"

"That doesn't matter!" Kawaki growled, "I'd rather send you to a safer place—hell—before Earth gets destroyed, you bastard!!"

"It's true, Kawaki-san!" Shinpachi urgently pleaded, "Now's not the time for this. Calm down!"

"How can I calm down?!" Kawaki yelled, veins bulging, eyes bloodshot, "Because of this idiot and the idiot woman who fell for his nonsense, now all of Edo is talking about me!"

"Who are you calling an idiot woman?"

Suddenly, Tsukuyo's voice came from the side.

In the next moment, Kawaki, with several kunai embedded in his forehead, fell back with his eyes rolling up.

"Tsukuyo-san!" Shinpachi shouted in relief as Tsukuyo walked over, smoking her pipe.

"Saved, saved~ hahaha~" Sakamoto sat up, "As expected of Yoshiwara's big sister, Kawaki has always been weak to women from those places, hahaha, hahaha..."

"Could it be..." Looking at the foolishly laughing Sakamoto, Katsura suddenly realised, "Could it be you're Sakamoto?!"

"That voice... Zura?" Sakamoto also reacted.

In the next moment...

Lying at Fujiko's feet, Sakamoto looked up at the view inside her suit and commented, "Long time no see~ How have you been?"

"You too." Lying at Mutsu's feet, Katsura responded.

"You've become so handsome in such a short time," they said simultaneously.

"Wrong! What kind of primitive greeting is this?!" Shinpachi ranted wildly, "Are you guys really good friends?!"

"Um," the recently revived Kawaki glanced at Tsukuyo above him, then turned to Sakamoto with a deadpan expression, "Tatsuma, can we switch? I'm tired of seeing dirty panties..."

Instantly, Tsukuyo's face darkened, and she extended two fingers.

"I just changed them!!" Tsukuyo shouted, jabbing her fingers into Kawaki's eyes.

"My eyes! My eyes!" Kawaki rolled on the ground, clutching his eyes.

"Staying here with these idiots is pointless," Mutsu said, kicking Katsura in the groin, "Let's get on the ship. You have business in space, right?"

When Mutsu spoke, the Quick Response Team's spaceship lowered a long rope ladder.

"Space? Who said we're going to space?" said Kawaki, who had just regained sight. Looking at the view inside Fujiko's suit, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "So that's the universe... It's been a long time since I've seen it... ah!"

Once again, Kawaki clutched his eyes, writhing in pain on the ground.

"My eyes! My eyes!"

"Bad news! The clouds are moving!" Asking the rope ladder, Mutsu glanced at the mysterious clouds gathering over Earth and warned the others, "Hurry up! Or we'll be too late!"

"What are you talking about?" Kawaki, who had tied Sakamoto up and pinned him to the ground, waved to Mutsu with a smile. This guy said you're the new captain of the Quick Response Team! Good luck!"

"Mmph mmph mmph!" Sakamoto struggled, but it was futile.

"Alright, let's go somewhere more fun." Kawaki squatted down, whispering in Sakamoto's ear with a sly smile, "I guarantee you'll like it~"

"Mmph mmph mmph! (Is it the Smile Bar?!)"

"Stop fooling around, Kawaki-san!" Shinpachi shouted, "This is a critical moment for Earth's survival!"

"Good luck~" Kawaki waved cheerfully to the ascending crew.

"The enemy can erase memories!" Shinpachi shouted desperately.

Instantly, Kawaki's expression changed. Grabbing the rope tied to Sakamoto, he jumped and caught the last rung of the rope ladder.

"Why are you here too?" Kawaki asked Tsukuyo, who was above him, expressionless. "When did you change your panties? That was fast!"

"Die—!!"

"Ah—!"

...

On TV, Hana, wearing a raincoat and holding an umbrella, reported seriously from Edo's chaotic streets: "As you can see, the streets are in chaos. People drenched by the rain have mask-like expressions and can only communicate using writing boards. What's going on? What happened in Edo?"

Turning back to look at the fleeing crowd, Hana continued.

"Hana, is it true that getting rained on causes those symptoms?" the studio anchor asked.

At that moment, a car sped past, splashing water all over Hana.

Now looking like Elizabeth, Hana faced the camera and held up a writing board: "Return to the studio."

On the Quick Response Team's spaceship, orbiting Earth, Katsura watched the TV broadcast with a severe expression, "Hey... hey! What's going on?"

"So many Elizabeths, so many..." Kagura stared at the screen in shock.

"One, two, three..." Katsura counted on his fingers, falling asleep after the third. Kawaki and Kagura beside him also dozed off.

"The seeds have sprouted. The seeds they planted," Mutsu said solemnly, looking at the mysterious cloud covering Earth from the window, "When that cloud covers the entire planet, Earth will fall into Renpou's hands."

"So, this rain is from Elizabeth and the others..." Shinpachi turned to Mutsu and the still-bound Sakamoto.

"But before that, how did you know about our plan?" Fujiko asked Mutsu.

"Mmph mmph mmph!" Sakamoto struggled again, but it was useless.

"What's wrong? Do I need to use the bathroom?" Kawaki asked nonchalantly. If so, just do it in your pants."


CREATORS' THOUGHTS
nyawdao2 nyawdao2

Please give this novel 5 stars review and power stone ;)

Read a few chapters ahead on readfanfic.com

Read up to 40 chapters ahead on p atreon.

https://www.p atreon.com/FL_Behind

Our community on discord: discord. gg /t66agbE

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