"MEOWwww..." Chad tried to run away.
"ACCIO CHAD!" Magnus just waved his wand and Chad's furry body flew into his arms. He held him tight.
Chad tried to get out of the hold but Magnus was too strong. After a while, he calmed down and looked at Grace with his big cute eyes.
This was another of his tactics to get out of problems. By looking cute he used to get many things done.
Grace walked to him and caressed his head, "Aww... Look at that cute face. But don't worry, it will look cuter after a trip to the vet.
Chad was shocked. His cuteness attack didn't work. Dejectedly, he released his arms and legs and let them fall.
"Mew..." He left out a very light cry. He had submitted himself to his fate. But, he had made a secret plan. Getting away from Magnus at home was hard because of magic, but he can't use magic in public.
At Magnus' home, it was a new day. Emma had returned home since in a few days school will be opening up. In the news, the efforts of Britain were recognised by the new South African government. So Britain now had a newfound reputation of being the good guys. Now, if only the IRA mess could be solved, the country would be pretty peaceful.
Magnus had nothing to do and so he went out with Chad. He didn't keep him free, instead, he put him in a portable cage. He knew that Chad's thick skull was brewing with all kinds of ideas.
"Your balls will be cut today, Chad. You will never become a father now." Magnus scared the already scared cat.
He walked to the nearest vet clinic. Once there he had Chad go through a full-body check-up. He was squeezed here and there, a thermometer was stabbed in his back, he was given an injection.
Then finally, the doctor brought the scissors. Chad got scared and jumped around. "MWAA..."
Magnus started laughing, "HAHAHA... calm down Chad, they are going to groom you, polish your fur and clean you. I was just kidding, they won't cut your balls."
But Chad looked at him with a suspicious gaze. He wasn't so gullible to believe him so quick now. He looked around himself first, there were indeed other animals being groomed.
"Come on, they will trim your hair a little. Aren't they also covering your eyes these days? You also get dirty just by walking." Magnus assured him.
No matter what, Chad was still a cat. He soon believed Magnus and let the groomer treat him like a fat spoiled lord. He enjoyed all the massages and conditioning. So he let himself go and his body went limp as if he was boneless.
Magnus laughed and let him be. He went to the shop's door and waited for them to finish. This was a very bountiful summer vacation. So much stuff happened. Venessa had compiled the financial data from his muggle account and it had 780 million pounds. The companies also had their separate accounts. The biggest earner was of course MEDA and Emrys Construction.
This was a lot of money and he could do anything he could ever want to do, and slowly his wealth would only increase.
In terms of magical strength, he was also stronger. His understanding of magic, alchemy and runes had also increased.
*Sigh* ~Another year, I wonder what will happen this time.~
He looked at the many cars on the road. The muggle world was so different from the Magical world in his eyes. The muggle world seemed colourful, pushing for change, looking forward to the future. While the Magical world seems depressing, holding on to the ways of the past, not wanting to change and keeping the future the same as the present.
"Brother?"
Suddenly Magnus heard someone by his side. He turned and found Regulus. "Hey, Regulus, what are you doing here?"
Regulus was wearing normal wizard clothes, which was nothing but a suit that most muggles only wear on special occasions.
"I came out to see the city. My mother luckily let me out today, as I was studying the whole holiday." Regulus tiredly replied.
"WHAT? You spent 57 out of 60 days holiday studying? Are you crazy? It is so counterproductive. How are you even alive?" Magnus exclaimed and asked.
"Hehe, I wanted to finish the syllabus for the 2nd year. Before starting school, I was not very interested in studies. But, after seeing you, I know how important it is. I know you are going to create an amazing world in the future. I wish to be a part of it, where I can use my magic and mind to help you." Regulus said, confessing his dream.
Magnus felt very nice, Regulus was the living proof that Slytherin house was not hopeless. ~I should focus on it more.~
"Thank you for believing in me, Regulus. Come, let's eat something together." Magnus suggested.
*SCRATCH* *SCRATCH*
Magnus looked down, and it was Chad scratching his pants. He looked very handsome now. It seems he was not that fat, it was his fur.
"You done? Come, I will pay the bill." Magnus went back in. Chad jumped over and sat down on his shoulder. Regulus also followed.
"Haha, you weigh lighter now," Magnus said and walked to the counter.
"Mr Grant, umm... can you please come with us?" The groomer asked him with an embarrassed face.
Confused, he nodded and followed her. Soon, she brought him to a table, on it were many items but in bad condition.
"What am I looking at?" He asked.
The groomer replied, "Sir, this... all this we found stuck in Chad's fur."
(⚆_⚆) ( ̄▽ ̄)"
"Hmm?!" Regulus and Magnus were taken aback. Regulus was looking at Chad and the items on the table.
"Are you sure?" Magnus asked again.
"Yes sir, we broke 2 trimmers while trimming him." She answered.
Magnus's mind was in conflict. On the table, there was a half-eaten chocolate bar, a yarn ball, a white shining stone, a rotten rose, Adam's gold tie-pin, a pen... actually two pens, a nail cutter, Ragnar's experimental herbs vial and it most likely contained catnip. Then the most shocking one, an iron rod.
Magnus stared at Chad, who was trying to look another way. "How did you even store all this stuff there? You're crazy. And what's with the iron rod? Are you a thug? A trash panda, collecting trash?"
Chad started sweating, as these days he used to go around the neighbourhood and bully the bad kids, so indeed he was a thug.
"I understand, I will take care of him more from now on. I will pay for the broken trimmers too." He assured the groomer and also stored Chad's stash in a bag. He would deal with the cat when he reaches home.
Regulus was dumbly looking at the scene. He was actually marvelling at how interesting Magnus' life is. Every person in the family is a new source of entertainment.
"MEOW MEOW..." Chad spoke from his shoulder.
Magnus scoffed, "Save the words for mum, young man. She will decide your fate. And you stole dad's tie pin? He was looking for it everywhere a few days ago."
Chad dejectedly hid his face between his paws. Magnus didn't say more, they arrived at the nearby park and bought ice cream.
Chad looked at them enviously so Magnus gave him one, "Which one do you want?"
The cat looked at the long list of ice-creams with their photos. Soon he touched one, Blueberry Butterscotch ice cream. The shop owner was fawning over him the whole time, unknown to her this was Chad's last attempt to enjoy life while he could.
Then they went to a tree shade and sat down on the grass. Chad silently sat beside Magnus and ate his ice cream with manners. Though some pigeons would often come to disturb him, he protected his ice cream zealously.
Magnus ignored him and talked to Regulus. "How is Sirius?"
"Alive. This time he could not go away. Haha, my mother and father are talking about his marriage already. They are still pursuing your friend Emma Vanity. Can't believe they are so shameless, even after being rejected." Regulus nearly cursed his family, but perhaps he was not the kind of boy to use foul words.
Magnus was taken aback, "Umm, I was told about this by her father. They said they rejected it a few years ago and even made some powerful wizarding families warn them not to push it."
Regulus sighed, only he wished his family was so easy to deal with. "They are crazy, Magnus. My family does not take no for an answer, they see their ancient prestige everywhere and demand people respect them for it.
"They are mainly after Emma's father, Devlin Whitehorn's wealth and the broom company."
Magnus burst out laughing, "HAHAHA... then tell your parents, it's pointless. I own 51 per cent of Nimbus Racing Broom Company. I thought I made it clear."
Regulus shook his head, "They are betting on the dark lord. That he will kill you and then nobody will be able to say no to them." But then his face turned grim all of a sudden, "Magnus, they are planning something big this time. All against you, I don't know what it is but I hear them talking secretly. Often I hear your name with a few curses. Be careful, please."
Magnus nodded, he wouldn't take any warning lightly. "I have already started planning and preparing since last year. I am much stronger now. And if they do come at me in large numbers, I still have the last trick up my sleeves."
~Though I hope I am strong enough to not pass out this time.~ He said to himself, thinking about Merlin's Staff.
"Still, who knows what they might do. Tell all your allies about it. Maybe they can find out more about it." Regulus warned him.
*PAT PAT* Magnus patted his back, "Don't worry, I will deal with it. You though should learn to have some fun, only studying will turn you into a zombie."
"Hehe, just like the rest of my family. AH... it's time, I should go." Regulus jumped looking at his watch. He said goodbye and ran away.
Magnus got up and patted himself clean. He put Chad back in his cage and walked home, "Let's go, Chad. It's time you face the law."
"Meow..." A small scared sound came from Chad's mouth, this was probably his last attempt to clarify.
[You can see Chad's stash on my Discord - https://discord.gg/DgHkrAn OR see them on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mister_immortal_novel]
WHERE STONES? RANK TOO LOW!
______________________________
You can read 20(Currently 15) advance chapters or my Naruto fic, and more at -patreon.com/misterimmortal.
Special thanks to *Douglas Flower* *Umar Latif* *Julian Rocamora* *Darrien Steely* *Franklin Walley*
1 Stone = 1 Banana Ice-cream. [Effect: Cools down your body so well you can trek the Sahara desert all alone. WARNING: It may freeze your balls, so no kids.]
"Look here, he had all this hidden inside his fur." Magnus showed everything to Grace.
Grace was speechless. How would a person even go around digesting the fact that so much stuff was hidden in a cat's fur? "Why is there an iron rod?"
"Beats me, ask him yourself." Magnus pushed Chad forward.
Chad started purring, making big eyes and rubbing himself on Grace's feet. But it would not work today, "Oh, this is my favourite pen that Adam gave me on our first relationship anniversary back in college."
Chad sweated a little. He understood all human words, even could make human thoughts, but he had not yet developed the means to speak words. He feared that now he had messed with such an important thing of Grace, he couldn't get away.
"And this rose... why is it rotten and even here? And a pebble, nail cutter. God, even cat drugs." She yelled when she noticed the catnip. Chad hid his gaze in utter shame.
"AND! The tie pin I gifted Adam. Poor Adam, I scolded him for losing my gift. Chad, you have caused too much damage this time. Your crimes are non-pardonable." She reprimanded the cat.
However, even though Chad had done something bad. Grace was far too kind to scold him too much or punish him heavily. Chad was her stress killer after all.
"So as a punishment, from today you are banned from going out for one week and your favourite fish is banned for a month." She announced the verdict.
Still, this was torture for Chad. As he had his crush living outside and his favourite food was his life. To him, this was the biggest punishment he feared.
"MEOWWW..." He kowtowed beside her feet and apologised, asking for mercy. But today he wouldn't be getting his way.
...
Magnus went to his room and found Merlin and Arthur bickering in a painting, while Summer calmly listened to them. It seems she was made the judge.
"What happened now?" Magnus asked.
"Preposterous, Magnus, Merlin here suggested that I am an inbred," Arthur said, looking offended.
Merlin was calm and replied, "I'm not wrong. This had been the tradition of many royal families, to keep the bloodline pure. And considering Arthur's family has been royal for generations, it's not too hard to assume that a few of his ancestor siblings smooched each other every now and then."
"GODS... this is so disgusting and unholy." Arthur acted of vomiting. He turned to Magnus, "You tell me, what do you think?"
Magnus relaxed in his seat, "Umm... you royalties in old times used to see the peasants and ordinary people as lowly beings, tainted blood. So where would you royals go to find a partner? Of course your family."
"ABSOLUTELY WRONG!" Arthur rejected it.
Magnus went to the bookshelf and took out a thick history book. "Umm... ah, here it is. Have you heard about the Habsburg family?"
"No, who are they?" Both of them asked.
Magnus put down the book so they could also see. "Well, Habsburg family was a very powerful and influential family. Many of the kings and queens of the Spanish Habsburg dynasty ruled across Europe from the 16th to the start of the 18th century.
"Habsburg ruler Philip I of Burgundy (including pieces of present-day Luxembourg, Belgium, France, and the Netherlands) married Joanna of Castile, the female heir to the throne of what's now much of Spain, in 1496. This way, after a few years of skirmishes, he eventually became the Emperor of the Spanish empire."
"GET TO THE POINT!" Arthur butted in.
"Hehe, calm down, you're going to love this. Well, just as these Spanish Habsburgs themselves had received the crown through marriage, they knew that it could easily pass out of their hands in the same way. In their determination to keep the Spanish monarchy within the family, they began to look for royal spouses only within their own family.
"Well, it would have been probably fine if it was like 4th or 5th cousin, but here they started to marry their immediate family members. For example, two of the kings married their own nieces while another married his first cousin. The last king of the Habsburg Spain dynasty was Charles II. His existence was an unholy one. His parents were so closely related that Charles II was his own mother's cousin and his father's great-nephew. His grandmother was also his aunt.
"So, he was the 5th generation inbred. Charles most likely suffered from two serious genetic disorders because of this inbreeding of generations. The first is Combined pituitary hormone deficiency. Guess what gifts it gave Charles II? Short stature, infertility and impotence. Also some weak muscles and a few digestive problems.
"The second one was something that makes it difficult for the kidney to get rid of acid through the urine. It would have led to bloody urine, weak muscles, and a larger head as compared to the body." Magnus read from the book. He paused and looked at Merlin and Arthur's faces. They looked horrified.
"This... inbreeding caused all this?" Merlin asked.
"Of course, and this is not it. Because of constant inbreeding, the Habsburg family had formed a hereditary elongated jaw, so elongated that it would cause them problems, sometimes not even be able to shut their mouth. The feature was named Habsburg Jaw, and it was a birth defect not a sign of pure bloodline.
"Haha, there is one funny incident about it, that when Charles V of Habsburg, arrived in Spain in 1516, he couldn't fully close his mouth due to his Habsburg jaw. This reportedly caused one bold peasant to shout at him, "Your majesty, shut your mouth! The flies of this country are very insolent."
"But, all in all, Charles II had it worse, as after 5 generations of filthy inbreeding, all the defects compiled into his body. He had a lower jaw so pronounced, so elongated that it made it nearly impossible for Charles to chew his own food, he swallowed all he ate, because his lower jaw stood out so much his two rows of teeth couldn't meet. He also had trouble speaking due to this and he started speaking only at the age of four.
"Besides this, he suffered from epileptic seizures that grew with age. He was constantly plagued by diseases such as measles, rubella, lots of dental problems, bronchial infections, frequent diarrhoea and vomiting.
"By his 30s, he was said to look like an old man and had swollen feet, legs, abdomen, face and sometimes tongue. He was so weak he could not get out of bed for more than 2 hours. Obviously, after having so many medical conditions, the people titled him "The Bewitched,"
"In the Habsburg family, in Charles II generation, 34 Habsburg children were born. Nearly 30% of them died before reaching the age of 1. And about 50% died before their 10th birthday. Surprisingly, they were one of the richest families yet their infant mortality rate was higher than peasants, which was at 20%."
"WAIT! What happened to that poor soul Charles?" Arthur inquired.
"Dead, of course. At the age of 38. In an autopsy, they found stones in his kidney, smaller heart, darkened lungs, darkened balls and water-filled head. Inbreeding was very common in European monarchies but these ones took it to the next level, hell even Egyptian Pharos committed inbreeding and paid the price, and they lived centuries before you two. Do you wanna see Charles II?" He asked. Not too surprising, they agreed.
Magnus turned the page and showed them. "Here,"
Merlin and Arthur both reacted at the same time. Merlin sounded fully disgusted, "Holy GOD, this is hideous... good gods... this was a demon spawn."
"MERLIN'S TITTS!" Arthur exclaimed.
"And I wouldn't mind having titties as long as I am not him. GODS, not even a mother can love such a boy." Merlin exclaimed.
"Not if the mother also looks the same," Arthur interjected.
"AH! I see you have found a loophole, my friend." Merlin nodded at the observation. Only such a demonic family could love a demon.
Magnus turned the page to show their family photos, "Actually, all these paintings are heavily altered by the painters of that era to depict their king as healthy as possible. So, if he still looks so hideous, you can imagine what he really looked like."
Magnus, though, felt pity looking at the image of Charles II. The boy didn't choose to be born in an incestual family. He won the lottery of a lifetime by being born to a king but the cost was too much to enjoy the lottery. "Imagine how painful just the mere task of existing was for this guy."
Arthur laughed, "God made him infertile, probably because even he was disgusted with this madness."
However, Merlin had another observation, "How is it that not a single king in the 200 years of their existence thought of why they were so much uglier than peasants?"
"They probably did, and must have concluded that because they were purer they have a truly human face, the rest have fake human faces." Magnus supposed.
"Magnus, what does all this have to do with my main question?" Arthur inquired.
Magnus closed the book, "Well, you look pretty handsome."
"Hehe, why you... I won't lie but all women of the kingdom lusted after me..." Arthur boasted.
Magnus continued, "And your stupidity cannot be seen as a genetic defect,"
"BWAHAHA..." Merlin laughed out loud and Arthur frowned.
"So, even if you had inbred blood, it must not be so closely tied that it would cause a problem. So I think you're somewhat clear." Magnus declared.
However, Merlin didn't forget to find the loophole to still make fun of Arthur, "That still means he probably has inbred blood. So I can still call him Inbred King, right?"
Magnus stepped back, "I'm not going to meddle anymore. I have work to do before heading back to school."
"You would have probably married your half-sister Morgana if she wasn't an evil bitc... Witch." This was the last insult Magnus heard Merlin throwing at Arthur.
[You can see Charles II and his family on my Discord - https://discord.gg/DgHkrAn OR see them on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mister_immortal_novel]
GIMME THEM STONES!
______________________________
You can read 20(Currently 16) advance chapters or my Naruto fic, and more at -patreon.com/misterimmortal.
Special thanks to *Douglas Flower* *Umar Latif* *Julian Rocamora* *Darrien Steely* *Franklin Walley*
1 Stone = 1 Inbred Banana. [Effect: Works as a poison to kill the inbred genes in your body. Turns you into a Gigachad male.]
Paragraph comment
Paragraph comment feature is now on the Web! Move mouse over any paragraph and click the icon to add your comment.
Also, you can always turn it off/on in Settings.
GOT IT