The Book Club
So, I have my notes, which included reasons why the main character was the greatest main character ever, framed to sound objective because that's the only way to debate the merits of a fictional, subjective character. Got my copy of the book itself, a fine adventure novel, written by one of the finest authoress' to grace this forsaken planet. Finally, I have my winning smile.
…
That is not a smile.
Alright, whatever. Let's just head on over to the ramen stand.
The transition from the empty apartment I called home to the Ramen Stand was somewhat jarring, I had to admit. Stools, open air and smiling faces seemed to contrast with the barren, dusty and empty apartment almost exactly.
Of course, given that I spent most of my time in the Vault nowadays, it really shouldn't be surprising that the apartment is getting dusty. I need furniture for it. Soon. So, you know, I can play graceful host instead of angry hermit, even if angry hermit is actually true to my character.
There was a Nara sitting at the stand that I hadn't actually seen before, his bored expression only shifting slightly into a nod of gratitude when Ayame served him up his noodles. That's good, right? Means that the Ramen Stand's business is growing.
Speaking of Ayame, she gave me a cheerful nod when she saw me. "Hey, Daisuke! I'll be right with you."
"Thanks, Ayame," I said, taking a seat three stools down from the Nara. I understood the look on his face – it was the look of a man who didn't want to be bothered. I would know, because it's the same face I make in the mirror.
I laid my book on the counter in front of me and started tapping my finger. Rhythmically, of course. I don't do it any other way, I had a few songs stuck in my head, even if I have trouble remembering where, exactly, they're from but drumming them on my fingers helped me remember the basic melody, at least.
"So, what'll we have?" Ayame asked, still smiling.
"The special," I said, just barely stopping myself from licking my lips. I love shrimp. "And I've got friends coming too, I'd like to pay for them."
"Sure, how many friends?" Ayame asked, grabbing a bowl.
"Four," I replied. Nichiren, Hisako, Ino and Sakura, if my count is correct.
"Oh. So, is this that book club I heard about?" Ayame asked, gesturing to the book before ladling up my ramen.
"Yeah, who told you about it?" I asked with a frown.
"Ino did," Ayame said with a blink before smiling again. "She's been by a few times, she's really excited for the club."
"She is?" I asked. "It's just a discussion. Why would she be excited?"
"You remember what I told you, right?" Ayame asked, raising an eyebrow and handing me the bowl. "She has a crush on you."
"That doesn't mean she's got a reason to be excited," I replied, shrugging and handing her the ryo. "I'm just going to shoot her down if it comes up."
"Why?" Ayame was frowning for real this time.
"Look at my face," I said, pointing at a mug only fit for gargoyles. "Is this the face of someone whose ready for a relationship of any kind?"
"Yes," Ayame replied with a solemn nod.
Both of my gauntleted hands fell to the table as I growled at her, trying to restrain my armored boots from kicking a hole in her counter.
"Besides, wasn't the plan to try romantic relationships out once you fixed your social problems?" Ayame asked, bringing her hand up like she was weighing the hypothetical scenario in the palm of her hand. "See, then you'll be able to know what you want and, more importantly, how to get it. Then you and I-I mean, whoever, will get together and make the cutest couple in the Land of Fire."
"I was thinking of waiting until I was an adult," I admitted supporting my face with my palm.
"You are an adult."
"I…" I glared at her. "I guess, sure."
As far as Konoha law was concerned, she was correct. As a Shinobi of Konoha, I am legally an adult. I can own property, take on dangerous missions and can be criminally tried as an adult. However, younger shinobi are still called 'kid' because, well, they're young. Given that the human mind doesn't finish developing until the 18-25 range, you can imagine my annoyance with Konoha law.
She looked at me oddly and was about to open her mouth when Ino and Sakura both entered the stand, lifting the flaps and walking underneath them. They both had copies of the same book I brought, Ino holding hers to her chest while Sakura held it down by her waist.
"Daisuke!" Ino beamed. "I'm so glad you could make it. Have you been waiting long?"
"No, I just got here," I replied. "I like being early. You too?"
"I thought it might be a good idea," She said, taking a seat next to me. "Give me and Sakura a chance to talk over some things, but since you're already here. Is anyone else coming?"
"Yeah, Nichiren and Hisako," I replied with a shrug.
"Hisako? Wh-" Sakura started before Ino quickly and lightly placed a hand on her thigh before retracting it.
"Oh? That's good," Ino replied, still smiling though now it seemed a little strained. "I figured Nichiren would like to come…I guess Hisako likes books too, huh?"
"Yeah, it kind of surprised me," I replied with a shrug. "Nichiren was pretty insistent and it turns out, she's a pretty big fan of romance."
"She is," Ino blinked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Her favorite book is 'Confessions'," I continued. "So maybe you'd like the book after all, if you still haven't read it."
"I read it already," Ino replied with a smile growing on her face again, though still very much strained. "After we talked, I went over it. I do like it."
"Well, I'm glad that's the case," I replied. "It's always good to find something you like, right?"
"I completely agree," Ino said, slowly closing her eyes and opening them again.
Why do I suddenly feel weird inside?
The sound of the flaps parting behind me caused me to turn around and there was Nichiren and Hisako, who were already embroiled in a discussion that stopped as they entered.
"Hey, Daisuke," Nichiren gave a small wave, the book held at his side.
"Hey," Hisako also gave a wave, the book held at her side. "Is this everyone?"
"I think so," I replied with a blink. This was weird. I was intending on being ten minutes early just so I could collect my thoughts and prepare for my social interaction? How long has it been, five minutes? I think I should move it back to fifteen minutes, if this is going to be a regular thing.
"So, what does everyone want?" Ayame asked the group, placing both of her hands on the table in a grand assertion of authority.
Over the next several minutes, they all decided what they were going to have. I hoped Ayame remembered to put everything on my tab. If they're going to be spending the afternoon with me, they should at least get something out of it.
The ramen was served, I promptly grabbed a crunchy shrimp, bundled it in noodles and took a bite. Soft exterior, crunchy interior, all delicious. "So, who wants to go first? You all know my opinion on the book."
Immediately, the counter fell silent, save for the consumption of ramen. I felt weird, like I was in the center of a Mexican stand-off.
"It was about what I expected," Nichiren finally started, putting the bowl down. "It wasn't scary, necessarily, but it was really suspenseful. I thought the ending was kind of creative, though. Props for that."
"Yeah, I liked the ending," Hisako replied with a nod. "Inventing a jutsu to keep himself safe from the monster's stomach-acid and letting himself get eaten whole, just to cut his way free when the thing got close to shore was really clever."
Confession time. The book features a sailor with some shinobi training who invents a jutsu. Yes, I identified with the guy immediately. Combined with the premise, I really couldn't not like the book, you know?
"See, I was a little confused by that," Sakura began, closing the book. I guess she'd been looking for something. "I mean, the book goes to great lengths to show that the main character, being the navigator, has jutsu that lets him plot courses along the ocean and determine where he is, but the sea monster sent the jutsu awry, in his own words so how does it work to let him know how close he is to shore?"
"I had the same question, actually," I replied. "But it's not unheard of for a shinobi to, with extensive practice, modify a jutsu to work within more demanding parameters."
"See, I know that," Sakura explained with a nod. "But that normally takes time, right?"
"Months for most people," I answered.
"So how did he survive in the belly of a sea monster for months?" Sakura asked with a frown. "Even if the jutsu protected him for months, he'd still need things like food and water, right?"
"…right," I said with a nod. That had completely slipped my mind, actually. I don't need to eat so it didn't occur to me that a guy that was sort of like me would need to. Actually, eating in general doesn't occur to me unless I'm in a restaurant or something. "I don't know. It doesn't say?"
"No, it doesn't," Sakura replied, opening the book again. "No, wait. It says he's got a jutsu that filters ocean water so that it's drinkable, but nothing else. It just skips from 'him getting eaten' to the epilogue where he cuts himself out."
"The author probably forgot," Nichiren replied with a shrug. "I could see it happening, actually. You write out this exciting conclusion to an awesome story you've been working on for months and in the excitement, you forget one of the small details that made the whole story possible in the process."
"That's usually a sign of poor planning," I explained with a sigh. In my case, where very little planning happened, it was a sign that my memory was slipping. It didn't happen, but there were times when I'd forget things, but usually a quick edit was all it took to fix the issue. "Darn. Here I thought I had the perfect book."
"Now hold on," Ino started. "What did you think happened, Daisuke?"
"Well, in the time skip, I kind of assumed it was only a few days before the sea beast headed close to shore and the protagonist only took a few minutes to change the jutsu," I explained with a frown. "Not because it's realistic for a barely trained homeless nin to do that, but because the author clearly doesn't understand how jutsu work."
"Okay, that much was obvious," Sakura nodded. "But if we're keeping in mind how Jutsu is supposed to work, it's supposed to take someone months so…what happened in the meantime?"
"Unless he's me," I added somewhat unhelpfully.
"Daisuke, there's no one else like you," Ino replied with a smile.
"There's plenty of socially maladjusted, overpowered dummies in the village alone," I replied with a shrug. "Guarantee there's someone else extremely similar to me somewhere in the world."
"Yeah, but you're our socially maladjusted, overpowered dummy," Hisako pointed out sardonically. "But back to the book. How likely would you guys say he knows at least a very basic fire jutsu? My guess is that it's not unlikely."
"Yeah, I agree," Ino nodded. "My Dad tells me stories about homeless nin with the weirdest collection of jutsu. Though that's kind of how it goes, since they don't really have a clan to give them anything standard, they just pick thing up as they go."
Hisako started to nod. Then it was like a switch went off in her brain and she started frowning. "So, if he had a fire jutsu, he could conceivably cook anything the sea beast ate, like if it ate a shell-fish or something."
"Why would he need to cook it?" Ino asked with a frown. "It's free sushi. Lots and lots of free sushi."
"Would you want to eat something that something else just ate?" Nichiren asked with a smirk.
Ino's face scrunched up in disgust. "Ew. Okay, good point."
"Besides, if it ate a shell fish, like I was saying," Hisako continued with a raised eyebrow. "He'd need to cook that. If he can."
"Well, if it was a shellfish he'd have to boil it alive so it wasn't poisonous to eat," Ino continued with a glare. "Just cooking it doesn't kill all of the toxins."
This reminds me oddly of a forum I used to visit in my old life. They'd talk about how realistic any work of fiction was or was not at length and argue endlessly like it was an artform. I was always a little scared of posting anything I had because it'd get shredded and I was a delicate flower who needed careful grooming and protection.
At least, that's what I'd tell myself.
"Okay, so," Hisako shrugged. "Depending on how long the sea beast goes without eating, he'd just be without food for a few days at most, which would be bad, but not unlivable."
"Another thing I just thought of," Sakura started. "Say the seabeast eats until it's stomach is bursting; would Yagami even be able to survive or would he get crushed to death by all the meat?"
Yagami was the name of the main character. "If the beast eats until its full to bursting, probably not. But depending on how long it takes to digest food, it might not need to eat for a while."
"So in order for it to work, it needs to not eat until it's bursting and then not eat for a while," Sakura frowned, thumbing her lips before moving back to the end of the book. "Okay, yeah. Apparently, it just ate something big called a 'whale'. Those are like giant fish, right?"
"Close enough," I replied with a shrug.
And the discussion just kept going. The atmosphere was…friendly enough. Though I don't think I could really tell if Ino and Hisako were sniping at each other, but they were on the opposite sides of the discussion much more often than not.
We talked for an hour and then everyone needed to go. Ino needed to help close the flower store and Hisako had a training appointment with Lee. So, I decided to leave first because after all this socializing, I needed the solitude of the vault. Now.
I got handed the bill, I paid it up, such as they couldn't see what was being handed to Ayame and I took my leave. "See you guys later."
"Same time next week?" Ino asked, with a sad look on her face.
"Sure," I replied.
"I can make it then, yeah," Hisako replied, also frowning.
"And I win!" Anko crowed, throwing her hands up in victory fists. She looked healthier than the last time I saw her, but the oxygen tube told me she was still not well.
"And so you did," I replied, looking at the board. Chutes and ladders should be easy, right? Not against a cheating Ninja. I was annoyed, actually, this should've been easy. "Want to play again?"
"Nah," Anko said, stretching out and managing to pop her back. "So, how'd the book club go?"
I briefly mentioned it when I came in. "It was fine. They found a couple plot holes in my favorite book that I didn't see."
"Ah, that sucks," Anko replied with a frown. "What book is it?"
"Into the Dark Abyss," I replied. "By Asahara Nami."
"Haven't read that one," Anko replied, looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Can I borrow it? I'm starved for reading material."
"Sure," I produced the book. The best part about storage seals was that I could just carry around a library with no repercussions. "Here, take as long as you like?"
She looked at the seal writing on my leg for a while. "Got any others?"
"What're you looking for?" I asked with a frown.
"Whatever you've got," Anko replied, leaning back into her hospital bed.
So…let's see, ten adventure novels, four horror novels, two romances that I decided was at least passable, six comedies with humor that I could actually understand and…wait, she already read the Gutsy Shinobi. Alright. "Will that work?"
She stared at the library that just appeared around her bed. "Yeah, that'll be great. I don't mean to take your whole library away from you."
"These are just additional copies of books I like," I shrugged. "You're fine."
"Thanks a lot," She replied with a smile.
This is awkward.
"Can I ask a question?"
"You just did," Anko smirked.
"Okay, can I ask a question after this question that I'm asking?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Hate technicalities.
"Sure," She started cracking up.
"How did you end up with that seal on your shoulder?" I asked.
Her good mood disappeared, being replaced by a dark look as she glared at her hands. "I was Orochimaru's student. He used me as a science experiment. Not much else to tell. Really."
"Oh, got it," I shrugged. I had the feeling that I forgot something. But what…oh, right. Her Dango. I went through all the trouble to buy some from the Akimichi restaurant (they insisted on giving me a discount, but I was having none of that) and I got so involved in the board game that I forgot they existed. "Also, these are for you."
She looked up as I held out the bag of dango sticks like it was a bouquet. It wasn't quite a squeal she made when she seized the bag from me, but it was darn close. "Oh, you shouldn't have. You're the best!"
"Keep it down, please?" I asked with a gesture to lower the volume. "I know they're clean, but the doctors might not share the same…certainty."
"Right, right. Sorry," She said with a satisfied smile as she ate one right off the stick. "Oh-ho-ho, yes. I missed you so much, dango-chan. You have no idea…"
Well, I feel good. I made a hospital patients day right now, which is a great thing. I'd volunteer here at the hospital more, just the quests I get from them last for a whole shift and I only get a paltry 75 points for each one. It's just not efficient to work that way, which is a shame because the ability to shorten some peoples stay here from two weeks to two hours is something I (to a point, dependent on the patient) possess.
Granted, Danjuro did say I should stop letting EXP rule my life, right? Right. So, there we go. The only way I could conceivably see this going wrong is if it gets boring and…that could be exactly what happens.
"Is it good?" I asked.
"Yes," Her mouth was full, but I could sense the mouth-watering she had in her mouth.
…thank goodness for scaling charisma.
"Alright, I got to go," I said, standing up. "Enjoy the dango."
"Alright see you," Anko waved. "When are you coming back?"
"Uh…how does Monday sound?" I asked with a frown. "You want me to bring another game or…?"
"Whatever you'd like," Anko replied with a smile. "And more dango. They don't know how to make right here, so I'm stuck with these things that taste like plastic."
"You got it," I replied with a wave. "See you."
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Leylin_Farlier The Previous was a Fanbased Work of Fiction, written by Fulcon. Naruto is owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the Official Release.
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