摘要
Jarvis Maximus has awoken on an unknown continent on Earth though in this universe Earth was different as leaders for each nation was different from the ones in reality
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21評論
4.62
- 寫作品質
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- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
The author is this dropped? ........................................................ ......................................................... .
Well, Author by the way is maybe a beginner, since you simply accelerated things a lot, there was no development of love and feelings between the characters they just decided to 'date' out of nowhere but apart from that the story has great potential for development, thank you .
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Honestly, the author is way too fast paced with this story, they could have started slow, progressed the character and world development and then prepared Jarvis for the fight against the demon lord or whatever. It takes just a couple of chapters for Jarvis to win the fight and it takes even less time for him to develop better technology. Also, the system, it would have been better if he got knowledge rewards instead of straight up real people, it makes the story and effort shallow and the people feel soul-less. The characters as well feel a little shallow and empty, let them develop with more screen time or whatever is the equivalent. Overall, a great story concept and execution for a first try attempt, I assume. Just slow down to story and let it breath and settle a little.
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did you drop this story?? ................................................................................................................................
Nicely done, please update. .............................................................................................................. ................
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Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic Good fanfic
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
This is fanfic of what?⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️⭐️⭐️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a amazing book i see nothing wrong with it I recommend reading this book you wont regret it and in the future I might give this book my powerstones!!
cerita yang keren, semua ceritamu keren, saya harap semua novel kerenmu tetap dilanjutkan, saya tunggu bab bab selanjutnya!!
hello author is this dropped as of now ? as I wanted to read it but don't wanna read incompleted work as it ruins the mood if I get addicted to it
So, i like the story and where this is going, but remove the indian monarch. It can pretty much make the wifey balance go downhill bc she's a royal. I had been vibing till she came in the picture- so it would not be bad if in the next 1-3 chapters she would die... you know, for character development too, and you could push the mc's way of conquering with a great justification right?
Like kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkajjakakakakakakakakakakkakakakakakakakakakakakakkaakakkakahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaha
good story don't drop .. . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . .. . . . .. .. . .. . ........ . . . . . .. . .. . .
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Terrible , this book doesnt even hry to be something that has meaning , nothing to set it aside from other books . Story absolute s*it Characters mentality is absolute random , jimping from one thing to another , no backstory on the summons ( i guess that works when its one use type , but …) Update stability , none Writing quality , fine not special Dont reccomend even giving this a try , currently waste of time