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Supreme: Invincible 原創

Supreme: Invincible

Anime & Comics 3 章節 76.0K 流覽
作者: Doom_Guy_4896

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摘要

After been reborn in the Invincible universe, Tristan O'Neal had to wait fourteen years before he got his golden finger, a meteorite that had Suprenium in it making him basically a Superman in Invincible, only he was a Superman on super steroids.

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2評論

  • 寫作品質
  • 更新的穩定性
  • 故事發展
  • 人物形象設計
  • 世界背景

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寫檢討
oath_keeper

The story is really good but it seems that because of the lack of new chapters I can't make it out yet though I like the mindset of the main character because it is clear and vivid it seems to be a fanfiction/story with great potential.plase a new chapter or any way we can help with release s bye.😁😁😁.

2yr
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Coziest_Hades

Decent start, some slight problems but a it’s a lot better than a good 60% of the fics on this site, it really just needs more detail and I’d suggest slowing it down a little bit, it dose feel like in chapter 2 your moving at a break neck pace to get to some action, personally I’d have kept his powers secret for a few chapters as he try’s to start up his hero work before he meats Cecile //slight spoilers if you care// -Writing quality, good but I think you need to slow read through your own work once you’ve made a chapter, I noticed on some lines you missed a speech mark or were hit with an auto-correct that wasn’t right. Altogether it’s a good start -Stability of updates, well when writing this you haven’t updated in 2 months so not to good but at least yo have some chapters out -Story development is pretty good, I can kinda see we’re you might be going with it and I think I and quite a few people will enjoy it, my only gripe if the Cecile bit, personally I wouldn’t have reveled knowing so much so openly, id have the Mc state his power and hinted at not trusting Cecile but being willing to work with him, I’d have complete avoided mentioning Omni-man here and mentioned him later once the Mc was set up as a true Hero and someone who can match Omni-man -Character designs, I rated this so low because I have no idea what Tristan looks like you haven’t described him well enough for me to build a mental image, it’s the same with his mother and Cecile, I know who Cecile is but someone who hasn’t read the comics or watched the Show might not or they might have forgotten so it’s best to at least mention the basic things like age, hight, hair, eye and skin color but no you’ve completely skipped out On that and I have no idea what the Mc looks like -world background, The story is only at 2 actually chapters so I won’t go bellow 3 star here, could have used some stuff like dates or a Bit of timeline monologue to catch everyone up to when he is but other than that it’s stuff that can be add in later chapters -Conclusion! It’s a good but patchy start, add some more detail take your time and this could become an amazing read!

3yr
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作者 Doom_Guy_4896