/ Movies / Star Wars: Rise of Mandalore
摘要
No Harem!
Adrian Hawke died on Earth.
He is given the chance to reincarnate into Star Wars, but as a Non-Force User.
Now he seeks to unite Mandalore and the Galaxy once and for all, under his rule whilst having to deal with Force Gods, Jedi, Sith and outer Galaxy threats and more.
Will he endure and survive or will he fail and die and become one with the Cosmic Force...
My discord is https://discord.gg/KcX9JCkn
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
24評論
4.13
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
Story is very good an i am actually really interested to see where things go. However the one problem i do have with this fanfic is the spelling and grammar. Every Paragraph it feels like there is something misspelled or written incorrectly. Other then that i think this is great.
Very messy writing. Too many thing added that seems unnecessary. The story itself is good. But all that is ruined by the bad writing, from speeling mistakes to the way the story is written.
I only made it to chapter 9. Its very interesting, but also extremely boring, because the writing format is like you are ready journal entries. I was cool with the page long "wish", but there is no interactions with other characters/canon people lol. Its more of what he/she "is feeling/thinking/or overall situation awareness like what the scene is supposed to be perceived as. This is fulfillment which is perfectly ok, but I don't how to explain it correctly, but it feels hollow/empty of anything but people actions, but no emotions for said actions.
The mc has no personality. The Ones and Abeloth have been introduced into the story, for seemingly no reason yet, at chapter 10. The story feels rushed and undeveloped in places as well. The quality of the writing is also isn’t great.
I have never read a book this good organized and just logical ITs as if its a novel But better! He makes not many errors anf if there are errors they are not hindering the experience at al This is probably the best book i have read on this platform!
It’s an amazing book, don’t get me wrong. Probably one of the better starwars fanfics out there but please, for the love of all that is Holly, run what you wright through grammerly it spell check it something because that is the only probalem. That and how could you kill space Jesus?!?!
I'm trying so hard to read this i love how it is and what your trying to do the only thing that is hurting this for me is that it's star wars and I'm not that big of a star wars fan.
I've till chapter 3 and I honestly can't say if this is a good fanfic or not. Though for me I personally don't like those fanfics where the MC already have his female partner already decided on the first chapter of the story. It reduces the thrill and anticipation for me.
Personally Im happy you're gonna make an entirly star wars fic, coz im sitting here reading it "like tf is that?" or "who tf is that" so im happy its a good story if your into all the things in this story tho.
Now that I have read up to chapter 25 I can write a review the story is full of details that if you like star wars you will like it too, also everything is very well written and well structured gg to the author
[img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins]
hey man, the fic's amazing but it would be great if you edit the CHP before uploading, and if possible could you use Grammarly..?? there were some grammatical errors...
This is a really good star wars book. This is a really good star wars book. This is a really good star wars book. This is a really good star wars book.
It’s really great fanfiction _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________
It pretty good and no problem with the update but the is one problem is the grammer mistakes that author makes he should reread the chapter before releasing . Like Jedi but sometimes it is written like Jefi. But the other think is he to much trying to make mc op with his stuff. And i really wanna see some things from armored core but upgraded for space. But not mech from Gundom
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personally I think the story is great, the author keeps updates consistent and each chapter has very little errors. He fulfills the tags he has put on the story. He also made a character that although strong is also reasonable, he worked for his strength compared to a lot of other stories where they just get guven strength. Overall one of the best star wars stories I have read and is right up there with 'Broke a clone tale'.
...................................................................................................................................................................
I've only read until chapter 3 for a simple reason, you gave him too many wishes and that makes him uncomfortable along with various things you don't explain at the time. like where your money comes from. and putting his beloved also with many powers, I don't feel that it looks good. Sure, maybe you'll explain it later, but those things get awkward. the rest seems quite good to me, your writing is comfortable and the idea itself is not bad, but the way is not correct. my recommendation, the theme of wishes should be simple, but easy to understand, and if it is possible not to op from the beginning but to give it a development, that when you read it you feel that the protagonist earned what he got. And another piece of advice I can give you is to try to explain everything at the time and in a simple way. that is, try to use the least amount of words but explain it as much as possible. something simple is easier to work, something complicated will only confuse the readers.