摘要
In the mind-bending world of "Rick and Morty: A New Jerry Journey," a self-centered businessman finds himself reincarnated as Jerry Smith. With hidden intelligence and secret philanthropy, Jerry navigates high school, supports his family's dreams, and reconciles with Rick. Join this transformative adventure of love, family, and the pursuit of a new identity.
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寫檢討Uhhh it seems good so far n there isn’t a lot of Rick and morty stories so I wish you luck in writing this and I’ll stick around to see where this story will go👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
The grammar is good, the updates are ok so far and I read 4 chapters... The problem comes when good grammar is used waaay too much. The problem is that repeating a scene for 4 chapters is not necessary and it makes it impossible to enjoy . The main idea of " a guy reincarnated as Jerry" is really good but 4 chapters and the MC is still on the process of being " isekaid" IF he even get's isekaid. . You need to fix the grammar loops , making things easy is better in some points and taking too long for something small makes the story be on a funnel feeling..
There’s not many chapters out rn and it feels slow but this is very well written. Does a great job with integrating the character into the TV Show, and really focuses on emotional stuff. If this does eventually get into the Tv Show itself and continues as it is rn then it’ll be a great fic, and I doubt others could really compare. Main issue I see is the author has not really explained yet how mc is where he is nor why. He is getting to the why the mc is there I believe but rn that’s missing too. Also I feel like the chapters are drawn out, but with the steady consistent updates it doesn’t matter much. Good soup interested in how you make this work.
It's a great story, really well written and with correct grammar.But the updates have stopped for a while now.I liked the plot so far.In my opinion though, this intro sequence as been going on for a bit to long.I want to see the new jerry tackle the world.I hope i can see it at least after the first 10 chapters.
no story progression at all, you just turn readers off by boring them with u trying to make us empathize about jerry and jake from the get go. you shouldnt do that at the start, only do it when there is something at stake. I wouldnt pity jerry at all because we already know his nature so trying to force it without something at stake is just foolishness. tho aside from that you have a writing quality and there are no cringes.
The most significant issue surges from the lack of story development, The Author tries to create an environment where we can empathize with Jerry and the mc. This alone would be perfect, but it falls into the common mistake of telling and not showing, summed up with the lack of progression, becomes tiring and boring. That doesn't mean it's not worth a try. On the contrary, I root to see where it goes.
Idk how bro does it, but he is somehow able to stretch out something that should last like 1 chapter in 4 chapters in the same feedback loop. Bro has the strongest imagination I have ever seen.
It has a good premise, and writing quality, but if you're expecting anything different and any world interaction from the rick & morty universe. Than keep waiting cause as of latest ch. it still has the mc doing the mindscape learning thing still.
It's an interesting idea I'll wait till another 5 chapters before. I post an actual review but I like what you have so far can't. wait to see what you do with it.
作者 hizer0778
really hope that you can comment and give some feedback to see where I can improve