/ Others / New Life Series: Danmachi and Dragon Ball System
摘要
Did you ever dream of adventuring in a dungeon?
Did you want a system that will help you in many fights?
Did you want to be different out of ordinary?
These were the questions that can be answered by the one and only person who will transmigrate at an anime world called "Danmachi" and become almighty and powerful human that can defeat even the gods and goddesses with their full power! Or maybe not going to happen.
And see what really happened in days that skipped in this anime world.
But there is one problem. There is a system that does not compatible with the world "Danmachi". A Dragon Ball system it is.
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寫檢討Sehr Nice, aber leider keine regelmäßigen Updates Mach bitte weiter ich möchte sehen wie es weiter geht bisher sehr Interessant, und ich hoffe das es nicht fallen gelassen wird xD
Ich finde bisher hast du das Sehr Gut gemacht, Mach Bitte weiter Ich freue mich darauf was du in Zukunft noch so alles bringen wirst ich wünsche dir Viel Erfolg
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揭示劇透more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz
U N I Q U E V E R Y W E L L . H O P I N G M O R E U P D A T E S T O C O M E Anyway! Make more chapters and the storyline more interesting to get everyone's attention.
You should be very careful dbz lets Danmachi look like dirt when it comes to fighting power the ssj is enough to kill gods without much effort Well, even though they are just more developed beings and no god
First off, I feel kinda mean giving a low rating so let’s just get’er done kinda like ripping off a bandaid. Overall I like the concept of the story it’s just that it needs a lot of work. Writing: -Lacks proper grammar -The scenes feel like they come out of nowhere and end without much development -the conversations seems forced and like it’s missing dialogues. -my only recommendation is add more details Stability of Updates: -There’s not much to go off of atm since the story has only been updated twice. Story Development: -each scene feels rushed and incomplete -one thing to keep in mind is that you’re not writing a story outline but the story itself so make sure to add plenty of details to allow the readers to visualize what you want them to. Character Design: -near nonexistent if at all. -the characters features are not described in details and their personalities seem seems odd and off -I get that this is a fanfic and you’re using pre-designed characters in your story but in an original work not developing your characters would never slide. World Background: -World development hardly exists but since it’s a fanfic I’m not rating it too harshly. -I’d recommend you to at least explain the basic world setting and how the world works so even those that haven’t seen or read the original work before can follow along your story. Lastly all I can say is keep writing and eventually you’ll figure things out. Also I remember to and ain’t feeling too lazy I’ll update the review in the future.
May be this time I should rate my own story. Five out of Five hahaha lol XD 😂. Maybe this is a bad idea 😂, rating it all 5 and it looks like I should update faster soon maybe?
揭示劇透作者 Phantom_Zero
Heyyy...when is it the updates..i hope we got female protagonist..and there's no romance..if you want to do romance..pls do the side chapter..i look forward to this😆😆😆