/ Anime & Comics / NARUTO: SECOND GOD OF SHINOBI
摘要
As a new author embarking on the journey of writing my first novel, I am excited to present my work and eager to receive any constructive feedback. This novel represents my initial step into the world of storytelling, and as a beginner, I am open to all comments, suggestions, and ideas that could help refine my craft. I welcome critique that will aid in developing my writing style, enhancing character depth, and improving the overall narrative.
This fiction is based on third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen.
A boy named Takeshi Hiruzen transmigrate into third Hokage body at the time of his promotion to Hokage position.
Read this fiction as how he will make Konoha the strongest village ever.
Waging war and conquering the surrounding villages.
Rivalling the Otsutsuki clan in might.
# More about development and training in the start of the novel. please be patient.
# No overpowering abilities and not making character overpowered at all until necessary.
# Novel will not drop until I am satisfied like other fiction works.
# A different perspective on konoha.
# He will make very large amount of techniques and kekei genkai.
# All rights reserved goes to Naruto and kishimoto senpai.
標籤
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榜單 
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13評論
4.32
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
(Read up to 15) Writing quality: It fine in my opinion, just it’s irk how Danzo was replace by CN name after chap-3 and author didn’t made any correction to it Update stability:For now its stable, and hope it remains this way. Story development:It just a Kingdom building story where Mc has a system to assist him.(Its a turn on or of depends on whether you like how useful it is that made anything seem effortless.) And since it Konoha, we can tell it going to be breeze for him. So if you feel satisfy seeing huge change rather than waiting for it after multiple chapter, then read it. Character: Pretty one time where 98% focused on Hiruzen while other character, is less explored other than Danzo(it didn’t last long tho). World Background:It is too shallow in my opinion where plot revolves mostly on what MC is doing to improve the village Overall: If you fine/enjoy reading Power fantasy, then you wont have problem about it. If you are expecting any in depth emotional pack story here, then this is not for you in my opinion.
Good idea. Writing feels like AI Repeat slop most of the time. It’s very simplified with no real emotion that draws you into the characters. No world background with just mc pov of most of the time. Mc seems kind of weird and feel like his goal changes like every other chapter.
The story has one glaring weakness despite it being technically okay. A good story shows and a bad story tells you what is happening. I am sure this author will go on to become a great one but for now he is doing the Sam mistake many have done before him. He is basically writing a list of stuff that has happened behind the scenes with some story elements. I wish you all the best but sadly this is not my cup of tea. I like to read about how he accomplishes what he does, and not be told he simply did.
揭示劇透
If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me. If anyone knows the original title, please tell me.
really great potential, i hope you have a good health and huge wealth so you can post more chapter[img=recommend]
Very good, the story feels very alive. easy to imagine all the scenes that happen in the story, thank you 🤌🏻 [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
its a decent novel of youre looking for something to read while waiting for other novels to update. The story is also different from other novels amd brings us away from common scenarios with uchiha senju uzumaki BS. kinda hate that danzo is still running around creating instability while the MC has the power to just stop it. overall give it a try.
So much potential. The choosing of story background is astonishing. Keep going dude. It is potentially to be one of the best naruto fanfic nowadays
Good fanfic, I do hope you find the balance between a chap dedicated to technique creation and all the drama that will happen. I personally like the effects of the mc in cultivating new generation powerhouses
"This fan-fiction takes a refreshing approach to Konoha, exploring a side of the village we don't often see. By focusing on Hiruzen's journey and the challenges he faces, it offers a unique perspective on the history and development of the shinobi world. The writing quality is impressive, with engaging prose and a strong understanding of the source material. The author clearly has a deep appreciation for the character of Hiruzen and his complexities, bringing a new dimension to the legendary Third Hokage. While the story leans more towards a narrative-driven approach, it doesn't sacrifice depth or intrigue. The development is well-paced, building tension and suspense while introducing interesting elements like the 'System' and the unique spin on transmigration. It's clear that the author is putting careful thought into the world-building, adding depth and intrigue to the familiar setting of Konoha. The character design is well-executed, especially when it comes to Hiruzen's portrayal. The author successfully captures his wisdom, strength, and underlying vulnerabilities, making him a truly compelling character. Overall, this fan-fiction is a must-read for fans of Naruto who enjoy a fresh take on the world and its characters. It's a well-written story with a unique premise, compelling character development, and a strong understanding of the Naruto universe. The emphasis on storytelling makes it a captivating read, drawing you into the world of Konoha and Hiruzen's journey."
The idea is very good, very unique, but the author is simplifying, speeding up and destroying everything quickly. The system is so important that until chapter 7, more than 60% of the general power (individual, subordinates, etc.) of the MC has direct interference from the system. There is a huge simplification of the plot, to the point that Hiruzen's genin team (the Sannin) does not appear, and Tsunade was at least 3 years old when Hashirama was still alive, if you count the years until Tobirama's death she should be at least 6... Apart from other problems such as the lack of dialogue and difficulties for the MC. Basically it's grind and time skip.