/ Anime & Comics / Naruto: immortal Ninja
摘要
Our protaganit find himself 30 years after the creating of konoha as an orphan
how will he live and what will he do to realize his ambition, what changes his presence will make in the Ninja world
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I'm new to this so if you have any criticism I'm open to it
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I don't claim anything other than my MC
I found the art in Pinterest. so its not mine
this is fanfiction, I'm sure everyone already read Naruto but if you haven't please do it's still good
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39評論
4.62
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
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寫檢討
I only read three chapters. I didn't enjoy reading it. I think this story has potential for those who like to read a fast-paced story. But this isn't for me. I thought the overall story was ambiguous and average. The MC is commonplace in most narratives, such as personality and attitude-wise. We get the standard MC package of being an orphan, quiet, intelligent, big ambitions, etc. I thought the overall writing was somewhat decent. It has punctuation and capitalization issues, but the overall flow was good. The text feels robotic and stiff, with little to no emotion. It's highly monotonous: "Haru did this, then this, and then later on, did this." Overall, it's a 2.8/5 for me
This will be brief, but the quality of the writing is excellent (as for me) everything reads easily (especially for non-native speakers like me). The story updates are excellent, the author regularly updates his story. Plot development, everything is debatable, like it's interesting to watch the development, but this interest is lost by chapter 20 (maybe a little earlier), then just goes emotionless text (as if in medical school) which does not cause any emotions, even joy (maybe it's just me). Also starting with a certain chapter (32) where Haru chooses his path after the academy, you can safely remove the spirit of adventure in this story (I may be wrong). Character design, the author does a great job of showing (revealing) us characters like Mito, Navaki. They are lively, especially Mito. Haru (the main character) is interesting, thoughtful (works his brain) not overwhelmed with hormonal background character (kudos to the author for that). Well the history of the world: an interesting period in the Naruto universe is taken. Can't say much more than that. In conclusion, the story is good, well its lack of emotionality to the missing (maybe) spirit of adventure, which a priori should be in the world of Naruto. It is puzzling. I recommend that you read the story. But something exciting to expect from it is not worth it.
Author-san u gotta improve. It looks more like those "Reading of a Novel" types. Its in the form of a summary with some dialogue or interaction. I also urge you to drop the Essay foat of writing. Seeing all those big paragraphs already forms a reluctance to read for us readers. Also its difficult to find the part we stopped reading if its in some where between the big fat paragraphs. Using short paragraph will make the chapters more pleasant to read. Grammer is quite good so no issues there. I am saying this cauz i have checked the writing quality of the chapters. But i will admit i have not progressed much with the story. No doubt the story might be good but i feel reluctant to read those big fat paragraphs. Thats all. [img=recommend]
it's starts pretty good overall the first few chapters are pretty upbeat, and the development is nicely paced and gives time for the characters to develop a bit. Sadly, after the time skip, it goes just downhill. The character changes from a calm and collected character to a cold shifty one. It kinda takes all the fun out of the story and doesn't make much sense to me as even the plot gets darker with little to no world building in that direction. The story overall is not bad, but I didn't enjoy it in the later half.
Sir author, could you add romance to the story? .......................................................................................................
Dear author I really liked this novel. Hope you don't actually drop it as there are no updates for the past month...
5 yr old orphan commoner mc with no cheat learn sage jutsu in his bedroom with his supposed cannon knowledge. if you can deal with thus kind of logc then you can try giving this a try.
Hi author, I really liked your work at the time I read it, maybe a year ago. I even remember checking very often for updates until one day I stopped and had almost forgotten about this fanfic until today I saw it again, I usually don't comment but seeing that even after so long there is no news from you not even to say if I decide not to continue posting and seeing that one of your last comments made it seem that you were sick and then nothing more was heard from you, I was worried, so I wanted to wish you a good recovery from whatever problems you are having, I really hope you are well and nothing bad has happened to you (especially since there were many cases of COVID in those days). Finally although I would love for her to continue writing and finish this fanfic the reason I wrote was to ask her to say something to know how she is doing if at least she is still alive and well ( since the way she stopped writing was very abrupt). Best regards.
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I really enjoyed reading this work. I loved the humor found in the portrayal of the Senju Family. Excellent writing!
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This story is kind of different from other fanfic and it's for good . The thing I liked about this story is the other side of the shinobi world. It's just my opinion but being silent and discreet is also part of ninja , not drawing enough attention to oneself, having two different personas for other things , a network for information gathering, master in disguise and assassinations and stuff. It's like a great novel and has a different approach to it Therefore it's worth the try .
Pleasant protagonist, not a conspiracy idiot, treats people well and has no arrogance, I was already fed up with arrogant and "evil" protagonists in naruto fanfic, I hope it continues like this, you don't have to be a hero but if you continue to be a good one person is enough
Beautiful. The MC is not needlessly OP neither too weak. He is humane but also smart. Despite reading up to only 15 chapters, the world building is nice and realistic.