摘要
Alex is a young man who struggles to make a living in the world's biggest game (Ancient world). He works as a mercenary who does every job he can find. It's been five years since his suffering started.
Ancient World creation was only possible by the World's greatest invention, "AI ZERO."
Ancient World A vast planet Multiple times the size of Earth Ruled by Great empires, Big organizations, and hidden Shadowy associations.
A Fantasy world filled with prehistoric animals that have gone extinct on Earth. The creatures humans have only heard of in fairy tales and old stories, Monsters beyond the imagination of humans, roam the vast lands of the "Ancient World."
Everything was going well, but it all changed on that day.
When the United States told the World "AI ZERO." and "Ancient World." technology was a gift from a very advanced intergalactic civilization. That has surpassed humanity in any way of life by an uncountable margin.
Humanity entered a new era, and the Ancient World became humankind's most important part of life.
Alex joined the game to make a living and support his family, but things didn't go as he had hoped.
After suffering in the Ancient world, Alex returned five years back in time.
Alex knows that the Ancient World is not just a VR game.
Now with a new chance in life, Alex will get strong and reach the top while finding the truth about the Ancient World.
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寫檢討The story is comfortable to read, but there are a fair amount of grammar problems. We get a little snippet of most fight scenes and then the conclusion. I'd say the biggest issue is how every enemy is a total pushover. Someone shouldn't be able to give three full powered slashs before their higher leveled opponent could even react. Nearly every fight scene yet has such issues.
Potential: A Execution: B- Grammar: D- Cliche Amount: A+ Overall: B- Great idea and storyline, but the author ruined by not even TRYING to fix the grammar mistakes. I get not having english as a first language, but for god's sake just put it in free Grammarly or even a Google Doc
Hello, fellow author. I'm going to give you some constructive criticism. 1: Please show what's happening in the story more. •In your story, you tell the reader that the character feels a certain way. Ex: "He felt confident." Here's an example of showing your protagonist's confidence."He raised his chin high, looked his opponent in the eye, and smirked." You can increase your word count if you explain each emotion. And your readers can immerse themselves better. 2: Please don't repeat the same information twice In the same chapter. •This disrupts the reader's immersion in the story. •I know it helps add word count, but that frustrates readers. 3: Your grammar needs some work. It's hard to immerse yourself in a book if there are many grammatical errors.
good book so far on chapter 117 but to much padding to explain a simple items takes like 3 chapters. also the mc likes to forget some important stuff.
I accidentally stumbled upon this story I really liked it.... Please Author don't stop the chapters update if possible please increase them I know Asking is very much but I really enjoyed your story
The novel had a great start and i was really looking forward to it.But now I'm at 200 chapters and we have like 2billion skills and items info in every chapter without much progress of the actual story like it was supposed to do from the start the author made.Right now its just fighting bosses, getting some so-called broken skill repeats. It's humanly impossible to keep all that useless Info in mind and if you are adding it to fill the words count please don't. The story can be awesome if the author focuses on organizations, guilds, politics etc .What's the point of rebirth and having so much power if for 120 chapters we just have to skip useless stats.
揭示劇透Great story and world building. But MC character isn't my favourite. classes and skills are the best I have seen in any novel. keep going forward.
I really like this novel. If there is a thing I am bothered about, it's that at first the MC is overpowered and from chapter ~300 he gets pummeled by every opponent. He loses most of his fights and is only trying to get back what he lost. Otherwise, brilliant story and definitely a worthy read.
Especially in the beginning of the novella, let's say the first 50-60 chapters, the writing style was very dry, you could tell that you had no experience. I even wondered if it wasn't generated by artificial intelligence. After that, an undertone began to appear in your writing. But you keep using the main character's name every other sentence...which is very annoying. Use synonyms, speak for him and not in the 3rd person.. there are many options to avoid this annoying repetition. Regarding your writing, in general I like such stories and therefore notice quite a few cons that you could emphasize. The battles are very lean, and the character development is fast-paced. The same goes for the dialogues, which are trite and emotionless…There are also a lot of actions, events that have no logic... such as the watcher, which supposedly cannot be interfered with, and at the beginning it was shown how the contracts under his supervision were secure, but then it turned out that it was not so... which completely contradicts the concept, making this belief absolutely nonsensical. Chapter 291 Revealing The Truth, you say how he wanted to share the responsibility and that's why he trusts gamers he hasn't even seen live. You absolutely trashed your good idea with your organization, you could easily have built it based on mafia organizations or terrorist organizations. Not to mention that there are other secret organizations where they are in different circles. The more you reveal yourself to some, the more vulnerable you become...In order not to ramble on, I'll give some examples where you can see combat mechanics, dialogue, and the ability to keep the reader in suspense. For example Reverend Insanity and Reincarnation Of The Strongest Sword God. Of course even they are only a good attempt compared to true masters of fantasy, such as Steven Erickson or George Martin.
Personally, I feel this novel is extremely good, the best thing I like about this story 🤔how the author merge between the game and the real life.😍.you get to know the ins and outs, key characters and cause and effects of each events while going through the story. great job 👌
great story that uses the vr game as a base isnt really a novel of the type it actually reads more as a syatem in a fanatys world novel which is great as it makes it more enjoable in my opinion theres a lot of forshadowing of great things to come as of chapter ~200. Overall a grear read can only recomend
so i have bought all the chapters out so far (60 chapters) and i have to say, so far its pretty good everything is great so far, the mc is very intelligent and he has so far been very good at planning everythin gout with his future knowledge and is unlike most reincarnated mcs in which they usually just give up at some point bc the future has changed to much and now just goes with the flow its also refreshing to see that the mc actually gets in trouble here and there and doesnt have any super strong op future character that he would later need to save come help him out of the blue(so far) at this point in time id say i would continue to support this story and would very much like to see where it could go in the future so i would like to reccomend it to any who are curious and would like to give it a try
Has some standard stuff in it's world building and some cliché. I like how a lot of the leveling and ranking works similar to reincarnation of the strongest sword god. The spelling and grammar messed up a few times but it got a bit better in later chapters. The way skills and some items worked weren't really fleshed out in the beginning but it has gotten better and things seem to have more explanations which is good. Overall pretty good novel so far.
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作者 Aibek
I really love this novel I can't help but wonder about what will happen next,I totally recomend this! (╹◡╹)