章節 6: The Slytherin Boy
𝑶𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 19, 1995
𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒆
I never should've left my dorm to explore, but the fact that every inch of this castle hasn't been discovered by 𝑚𝑒 was enticing. I couldn't stop myself. This whole new world called to me. And sometimes I can't help but cry from relief.
I'm relieved to be here.
Seeing the corridors and alcoves, seeing the courtyard filled with red and brown trees, their leaves starting to fall. The 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑠 that walk around has me stunned to silence. The passageways that Hannah Abbott told me were hidden drew me in.
I wanted to know every nook and cranny, I want to remember what I can't. But searching this place reminds me of nothing.
It's all new and beautiful.
I pass through a corridor with many doors and realize they're classroom-filled students but I don't pry and leave. I try to go quickly but when I made it to the end of the corridor I heard a door open and close, the creak making my body freeze.
I sigh while looking at a tapestry then turn, accepting my fate but I'm stunned. And not from the beauty of this castle.
This 𝑏𝑜𝑦, this 𝑆𝑙𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛 stood at the threshold he stepped out of. He looked so different than the last time. He stood taller as if he was even more confident in this school, he dressed improperly by having buttons from his shirt undone and his tie loosely done.
Once again I'm frozen. I haven't seen him since yesterday at dinner when I was introduced. And imagine how shocked I was to see him at a table here, but I didn't want to look away.
I was dumbstruck, like now. And he started getting closer, making me tense and feel like my bones were turned to stone.
And yet, I couldn't back away. No matter how much I don't like him, ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 him actually. Ever since he threatened me I can't stop hoping he would drop off the face of the earth.
When he stood in front of me what caught my attention were his eyes. They're better than expected, to my dismay. I wasn't looking into his eyes when we met, and I couldn't see but now that I can I feel—stupid.
His eyes are a beautiful grey, like silver and it was so deep like the darkest part of the ocean. The one you never want to dip your toe in. The dangerous kind.
So I keep some feet away from him and force myself to stop shaking. But then I realize I don't need to be here, I don't owe him anything. I don't want to speak to him.
"You can go to Hell," I said, and I believed it was a thought. I thought I said it from my mind, but my lips moved and he pulled taut at my words.
Now that the words left my mouth there was no turning back, and I don't want to be here. So I keep walking in the opposite direction from him and continue my search. And hearing no footsteps at my heel I knew he didn't follow. I knew I was alone.
But walking aimlessly made me feel lonely. Watching the elegant structure of this place no longer made me feel happy. I was frustrated and guilty, ashamed and angry.
So I try to cheer up with the fact I start classes next Monday. Even though I know nothing of this place, Harry's friend named Hermione is going to catch me up as much as she can. And as it turns out, after asking him who it was I was friends with in first year, it was her.
The thing I don't understand is if I was best friends with her before and she's an insanely nice person, why did he say I had found comfort in the wrong person?
She doesn't seem like a wrong person but I've refrained of asking. Maybe she changed and he finally warmed up to her. But I will never truly know what happened those four years ago.
So I accept whatever comes out of Harry's mouth because I trust him, why wouldn't I?
❀𓆙❀
I was alone until dinner, and since my exploration was cut short I stayed in my dorm waiting until classes were over. When the Common Room started to fill up I knew Harry had free time. So I fled to him.
It's how we all got to the Great Hall together but then I was told I couldn't sit with them.
They ushered me away to the Hufflepuff table and my dorm mates gestured for me to sit with them. I did but I couldn't stop looking back at Harry's table.
I don't understand his world and now I have to be alone with people I don't know. Looking around and seeing their happy faces don't calm my nerves. I don't trust anyone, only Harry.
"Oi, come on Potter. Get that gloomy face off yourself." told a girl and my head turned to her.
𝑊ℎ𝑜-
Her hand stuck out and was mere inches from my face, I backed up in surprise. "Maxine O'Flaherty."
I blink repeatedly not knowing what to do until she caught my hand forcefully and shook it. And all with a mouth full of food plus a smile. She didn't seem like she had a hidden agenda but still, she was a stranger.
"Rose Potter," I said.
She swallowed and took a big gulp of juice, while everyone stared at our interaction. I could almost feel the sweat on my back.
She points her fork at me. "I know who you are. The hero who died too soon, Harry Potter's sweet sister, but what's funny is how everyone forgot you when Cedric died." Her smile was no more but the person beside her elbowed her.
They all started to talk over each other angrily saying Cedric this Cedric that. They told her not to talk about me 𝑎𝑛𝑑 him like that, but...
"What? It's true." She eyes me. "Your fame was over when Harry told us ℎ𝑒 who should not be named had come back. We all thought you died and killed him but it seems your death was all for nothing." She laughs to herself. "Sorry, your 𝑓𝑎𝑘𝑒 death."
Okay, I take it back, I don't like her and she probably has a hidden agenda. And it's why I couldn't help but ball my hands in a fist under the table. Why is she doing this when I don't even remember shit?
I take a deep breath, and I thought of saying something but I think silence is the better weapon. 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 is the better weapon.
I released my fists and began to grab food to put on my plate, I don't look at her and begin to eat without a care. Everyone then began to do the same and the urge to ask who the hell Cedric was gnawed at me.
But I don't and keep small conversations only with my dorm mates, and one of them, Hecate Oakham, hasn't spoken 𝑜𝑛𝑒 word to me. It didn't bother me, I would prefer to not speak to anyone either but she seemed—alone. 𝑇𝑜𝑜 alone. It almost made me feel bad.
And if it's what she wants then okay, I won't bother her. But I can't help but take a glance or two at her.
She's beautiful and probably doesn't acknowledge it. Her long hair is as black as night, shiny, and looking so smooth. Her violet eyes were dark, a contrast to her pale skin. And suddenly her skin reminded me of that Slytherin.
Ever since he approached me I was able to see his features and they were very memorable. They were almost inked into my brain.
And at the thought of him, Harry out of sight and out of mind, I look over at the Slytherin table. I had to scour it many times before his presence stood out, his hair was like a beacon but not only that. He ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 drew people in, drew 𝑚𝑒 in.
It made me scowl because why would I be curious about someone like this? I don't even know his name but I know I will soon, and I can't wait.
Because all I know is what Harry has told me, and it almost seems like he avoids the subject. He avoids talking about the Slytherin boy. I only know that albino boy shouldn't be messed with and I should stay away.
It gets me frustrated he won't tell me more. I'm so close to asking my dorm mates about him but I'm hesitant because what if they misunderstand? I wouldn't want to deal with it.
So I stay silent and try to make it look like I'm not staring at him. But it doesn't make me feel better about the fact I look like a stalker. The thought of being made fun of and being called a stalker immediately has my head turn to my food.
I keep eating and surprisingly devour it quickly, and when my stomach begins to hurt I realize I ate too much or too fast.
The end of dinner has us all rush out into the corridors and the ball of people has my anxiety skyrocket. There had never been so many people in my other school, and it made me ask myself a question.
𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑔𝑜 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒?
It's something I don't want to find out. Because being someone who everyone will forget is I think my worst nightmare. Imagine being so insignificant that nobody knew you were gone.
Imagine being invisible all your life 𝑎𝑛𝑑 being forced to be while not even knowing. I was kept indivisible, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 and 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 were kept invisible from me. And now it will never happen again. I will make sure I don't fear them, I'll make sure they fear me.
All in little steps—I can't do everything today, but I will take one small step.
But when I really put thought into this ridiculous notion of mine, like wanting them to fear me or other stupid shit, I remember that isn't me. I don't want to be that person, but they made my heart harden. And I have no idea how to thaw it.
In the crowd, that top of white-blond hair attracts my attention. I can see part of his face, I get a glimpse between heads, and the snippet I get of him felt like a reward. Looking at him makes me realize that if it weren't for him, I'd never find out about this place. And an impulse of going to thank him filled my brain.
No matter how thankful I am, I hate him. He is a very mean person, and I'd like to stay away from him.
When I look away the eyes of someone pierce my body, like a coldness. I hate the cold. I find Hecate softly looking at me and she quickly turns around as I caught her. But I didn't care, it made me smile because she looked at me. She acknowledged me at least.
Maybe I'll be able to talk to her soon. Or... I can talk to her now.
I go to walk beside her. "Can I follow you? I forgot my way to the Common Room." This was the main reason I had to talk to her. And I smile awkwardly, hoping she says yes.
And she only nods before walking away and I stood frozen for a second before dashing after her.
❀𓆙❀
The weekend came too quickly, and as I sit here with Hermione in her dorm I don't understand what she's been saying. It seems that the information goes in one ear and out the other. It all sounds like gibberish.
"Wait, repeat that," I say.
She looks up from the book and takes a second to look at me, probably cursing me out. I feel like I'm about to be scolded.
"A Boggart is a shape-shifting creature that will assume the form of whatever frightens you the most."
My blood ran cold. "You're saying I'd see my worst nightmare."
She only nods and moved on to the next topics. Spells and charms, herbology, and astronomy. Defense against the dark arts, potions and so much more. The history of their people was crazy.
And suddenly I become more interested in this. I ask more questions and try to understand Divination but she doesn't talk much about it. When I asked why I regretted it.
She began her rant and Harry and Ron look over at me slowly. Almost as if they wondered why the hell I even asked, but their eyes flicker to her in amusement.
Her main reason was that it was ridiculously stupid.
So I avoid the subject and keep learning. It got late and they told me to leave so the night doesn't catch me. But instead of night, I thought of 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. So I leave because I don't want the darkness to catch me.
I give them all a hug, an even bigger one to Harry, and suddenly a tall ginger boy has memories flash into my mind. But I keep walking out of the portrait hole and the image of the boy and Benjamin repeat. They looked so alike.
And guilt washed over me about the fact I forgot about him. I did what I fear, forget someone. He plagues my mind now on the way to my Common Room
I rush down the corridors since curfew starts soon but I can't stop wanting to see Benjamin. I can't help but wonder what he's doing right now. Did he forget 𝑚𝑒?
I wouldn't doubt it, and longing for him hurt me. I miss the few days we had together, it was when I started to have my first friend. I had someone who cared for me and I finally trusted someone. I think I'd do anything to go back to that, but I'm here now so I shouldn't dwell.
That boy really ruined my night.
❀𓆙❀
I woke up on time for class, surprisingly. This weekend I couldn't sleep. I didn't stop studying or thinking of Benjamin. As I learned about creatures and potions I missed Benjamin. But what pissed me off the most is the albino boy.
He invaded my thoughts as well, probably more. And I'm so drained that I didn't want to get up this morning.
But the one thing I'm thankful for is having the first class with someone I know. My dorm mate, Gwen, and I have Transfiguration together. And walking with her to the class is how I don't get lost. Still, as I walk the corridors I'm amazed by the sight.
It never gets old.
And I probably look like a fucking tourist gaping at the school like this, and Gwen had to yank onto my sleeve to keep me from bumping into people. When I did I laugh awkwardly and bow my head in apology.
Once we entered class, people were already in their seats and I scour the tables to look for an empty one for Gwen and me. But the available one with another person I know is with Fred Weasley. I had been trying not to look at him because, for some reason, he resembles Ben.
Now this is when the pieces fit together, the stupid pieces I should've known fit. Because looking at Fred and his ginger hair makes me realize he's the Gryffindor boy I saw that night.
He's who reminds me of Ben, he is why I cower behind someone when he appeared. The guilt of leaving Benjamin behind has been eating away at me and seeing Fred has me in turmoil. I feel like apologizing but it's the wrong person, no matter how similar they are.
Gwen drags us to his table and I end up next to him, and even sitting he's taller than me.
He glances at me and smiles. "Rosie,"
Even his voice was as soft as Ben's. I couldn't help but stare because he has freckles just like me—like 𝐵𝑒𝑛. And it seems like he doesn't care, he doesn't get bullied for them.
This is when my old friend envy came in again.
I find myself and gulp down the lump in my throat. "Fred."
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