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Marvel 616X 原創

Marvel 616X

Anime & Comics 10 章節 58.6K 流覽
作者: DaoistG9tMHc

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摘要

A disgraced and deceased Galvan is forced to redeem himself by aiding a deceased human in fixing a Marvel World altered by the Demon Mephisto.

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2評論

  • 寫作品質
  • 更新的穩定性
  • 故事發展
  • 人物形象設計
  • 世界背景

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寫檢討
Maokami
LV 14 Badge

Okay, I like it but you are straight up turning it into Ben 10in the marvel universe. Kevin, Gwen, Manny I understand great characters. But take a page from dial. You do not need them. Instead have him makes friends with people who are close but not close to their powers if you want to make it seem like team 10.

2mth
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Player0Kun

I really like the idea of this story but this seems like executed very badly. here are my some thoughts that you can use in your new rewrite. 1: remove transformation and just replace it with simple easy to understand power like technopathy or telekenics. 2: there is no need for ben 10 universe involvement, like no third soul of ben or paradox. Just make it so that this version of albedo was a 1 in the infinite that ended up near rob or ooa. 3: Instead of albedo being a 2nd soul he more like a identity created to keep original mc personality intack. 1 soul with 2 personality where albedo represent smarts , logical thinking while mc represent emotional, conscious, dominated self. 4: Do not start it with high stakes like in this one, but do a simple drop in in a ally. 5: if you want to nerf him because of the galvan intelligence then you can use this - MC is not able to create super tech because his main personality is not super smart and albedo cannot interact with outer world, meaning in order to be able to do that he have to follow instructions of albedo and he himself have to interact with. 6: A power up for him can be that he has been able to give albedo some access to power by using some mind power and with telekenics or technopathy able to create devices on the fly by using meterial from surrounding. 7: You can also make it so that they became a unique entity like celestoseapian like 2 personality with 1 soul and 1 body with one in control of physics form like body and it's control and other it's smarts and memory and stuff.

6d
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作者 DaoistG9tMHc