摘要
a Young man dies and gets reincarnated into the world of Twilight with some powers, how will he change the course of the Twilight world?
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Arthur note:
My grammar is a little bad but working on it. (using Grammarly for now)
I don't own twilight or any of the characters, only my OCs.
Give me feedback and support if you like the story
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
11評論
2.89
- 寫作品質
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- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
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寫檢討
The grammar is almost unreadable in the second chapter onward, the author definitely need to take their time when writing the story and proofread it through each chapter before sending it out. And the story of him being a person from viking age out out on an adventure, then meets someone who eventually becomes arrogant. Leave's a lot to be desired story-wise, because of the simplicity of it . Also because of the grammar it isn't properly explained about the other creature's in the Ancient Forest, and how he can't leave to just find other people to join him and have that as the mission. It just seem a bit arbitrary.
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Muy mal escrito no me gusta leerlo me cabrea[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
The grammar needs improvement, the story progresses well but suddenly it begins to drop information one after another without allowing it to be understood
I like this story, grammer isn't the best but author did say it's his second language so that's understandable looking forward to how the story goes.
really weird all round.. first the abilities, starts off kinda normal, u know a werelion type animal.. then he gets the ability to control all technology, which dosent fit in the universe at all. then theres some 8th grade syndrome stuff going on. his mere presence made it so the vampires knelt down in pain..... i mean cmon bro.