/ Book&Literature / HP: Magic Punk
摘要
[Congratulations. you just died !!!]
He was just a normal teenager. Trying to make something out of his life. But everything changed when Truck Kun met him.
Now there are new magical worlds to explore and a mentor who will teach him.
But there is more, much more hiding in the darkness.
Let's explore the Wizarding World for fun, shall we?
Upload on :- Sunday to Friday.
Bonus Chapter on Monday and Sunday.
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(P)(A)(T)(R)(E)(O)(N) LINK:
patreon.com/Kamidemond
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I'm planning on keeping a stockpile of at least 20 chapters there.
DISCORD
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/VqU83N2As4
*The Cover is not mine, tell me if you want me to remove it, just don't sue me!!!
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89評論
3.68
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
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寫檢討
A very good book, I definitely want to see the final of this history. Very stable development, a good updating stability and history progress. The history keep you focused and interested with many novelties more than simply the Harry Potter history to explore.
All I'm saying is that the novel is wonderful and no one should listen to the negative comments because they all complain about how quickly the MC gains power. They almost want the MC to become the most powerful magician in the world in twenty chapters.
The story is interesting and the idea behind it is really solid. Execution was iffy. Grammar is 5/10. Vampires having magic breaks the plot but it can be overlooked. What really bothers me is the character is naive and stupid. For all his intelligence, he has painted an absolutely massive target on his back without any real strength to save himself. His theories and training methods will change the world. Making everyone super powerful, while it sounds cool, is an absolutely terrible idea in reality. He essentially came up with a way to cultivate magic and then like a naive dumb*ss he shares all the methods he has with the entire wizard of world. I would have dropped just for that, simply because that amount of naive stupidity makes for terribly boring and predictable characters. What actually spurred me to write a review is that the MC did this all in his first year at hogwarts, with no power of his own and no real backing. Hes made so many enemies and at the same time, given them access to limitless potential. This is like if the sage of six paths instead of sharing chakra when he was old and the most powerful person on the planet, did so when he was a child but on a much higher scale. Not only that but he has essentially given the wizards the means to wage war at a much higher capacity. If this was reality, within 30 years the muggles would be slaughtered no doubt. Lol he didn’t even wait until Voldemort was gone. MC is a clown. Living in his own fantasy world with very little grasp on reality. In a world where power is everything, giving everyone the ability to gain tremendous amounts of it is the height of stupidity. Wouldn’t be surprised to find an extra chromosome in his DNA.
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Extremely childish writing, to the point where Wattpad authors look mature. There's not much more to say because anything wrong with this book can just be chopped up to be a middle schooler's first attempt at writing anything other than his homework.
this is tough, I don't want to come across callous but you need to hear some constructive criticism, you need to go back through your chapters and fix the sentences they end up having additional words that shouldn't be there, the constant () sections while funny at first feels very much like a wattpad fic, which is generally fine just tedious, and while no so much of an issue, vampires weren't really acknowledged my jk much so the interpretation of what they can/can't do is generally fanon, but I will state that generally vampire aren't capable of using magic in the commonly accepted fanon, I also think that you should get a beta reader to help flesh the chapters out, as they jump forward erratically, it feels like a fever dream with how it bounces around.NOW the good things, this fic is FUN, red is awesome, the main character seems cool and I'm interested with how he might get into hogwarts as he's 16, the vampire using magic is interesting and I'd like to see where this goes
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story is terrible mc spends about 90% of the story fixing his magic even though he was a squib. another brain dead "author". storyline was neither interesting or entertaining straight 1/10 stars.
You are stealing others' work and making audiobooks out of them, then you are shamelessly posting them on youtube as one of your patreon membership benefits. Bro, don't be so shameless. How could you possibly do that without their permission and earn from their hard work? Such a thief.
Thr writing is quite bad, unedited and wasn't proofread. The story ain't enticing either, with confusing timelines. Character Design is annoying, the only redeeming feature is there's a dog. I'm not sure about the updates in the long run, seems good so far. World Background is BS. Vampire wizards? arr you freaking kidding me? If vampires could be wizards then Voldemort could easily solve his immortality problem w/o splitting his soul. Also the most famous curse in HP verse reduced to a magic trick. It's Avada Kedavra, not Avra Kadavra.
no offence author but this fiction is really bad. your MC is extremely naive acting like Santa giving gifts left and right. your obsession with granger and potter is disgusting and pedophilic. MC's stupidity is on a whole other level. anyways good luck.
This book switches between pretty good and then terrible the author pretty much dangles a carrot in front of your face promising the main character will be strong almost every chapter and then he’s just not over 100 chapters in and he’s still barely strong, and don’t get me started on the “twist” the author introduced, Author to put it blunty you made a mistake Nick iron isn’t good you dangled him infront of the readers as a antagonist but tried to change your mind then at the start of the book you introduced hermione as a love interest then changed your mind then made her betray the main character as “Character development” that’s not good character development this book was good was a fun read but it’s massively dropped off in enjoyment and quality.
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Good story so far... I'll increase or decrease this rating(depends on the story)
I have been observing that length of each chapter is becoming less and less. Hardly one or two paragraphs of contents. Looks like author is trying to just post as less as possible containt daily so he can increase timeline of posting as long as possible. There is no stability in flow of plot, plot twist can work once a while but just using it again and again and keeping mystery for to long will make people loose interest. Only God Oda can keep mystery alive for long.
Cripple mc who's cultivation was being sucked by an old ring grandpa, so mc lost the best time for cultivation and now suffers from magic deficiency. Fortunately, there was no cancellation of an engagement. Now mc is in a magical world with a little more magic than a squib.
liked the story at first. But the moment the mc let his enemy who almost killed him go just because of hermione, this became absolutely unreadable for me. letting an enemy go after almost getting killed and permanently disabled. screw this author im out
Not terrible but not something I’d consider reading multiple times like Harry Potter second chance, hp the protector or hp the arcane thief.
Hey love the story, it’s amazing. I was wondering if or when u finish it could u make one about mc in Harry Potter world while also having magic of “the beginning after the end” pls
It's a great and interesting Harry Potter fanfiction!! 👍😍 It have a great plot/storyline and good english/translation.. The grammar is good too.. I like that MC/Orion not op from start (he even weaker than other First Year when he go to Hogwarts).. I like his power (absorb other magical power/creature to make him stronger).. I also like his pet/familiar Red, is rare to see others phoenix beside Fawkes, hope to see/read Red more in the future.. The story is interesting too.. To see Merlin memory, magic power level, etc.. I like that he train Rune, Magic Bender, etc,, to supplement/protect himself from others (especially bully like Malfoy and his gang).. What make me dissapointed is MC/Orion as reincarnator have future knowledge, but why he doesn't changed many thing (like troll insident, Hagrid dragon egg, etc)?? I understand if he afraid to change so much, but little is fine I think.. And why he join Gryffindor?? If it just to know about the plot, it's failed, he often forget about important event like troll, etc.. He can go to Ravenclaw (he doesn't interest other house) instead, it will make the story more interesting.. Maybe make Hermione and Rose (I like genderbend Harry) join him in Ravenclaw.. Please make them his love interest 😍 Who is Nick Iron?? Can't wait to see his reveal.. Love your story author san.. Keep up the great work 😁👍😍😍😍