/ Others / Greater Than Gods: Chojusen Akimichi [Complete: I'm On The Job Editting~ This Is What I'm Suppose To Write, Right?]
Greater Than Gods: Chojusen Akimichi [Complete: I'm On The Job Editting~ This Is What I'm Suppose To Write, Right?]
3.98 (119 評分)
摘要
Naruto, but Naruto isn't the MC, Its Choji's twin brother that has a system.
As much as I wish for Chojusen to be a space-trotting gopnik, we probably won’t ever see that come to fruition. This is the closest I can come to photoshopping an image that resembles Chojusen. He’s supposed to have parted hair like a comb-over. But, aside from that, the image is pretty much ok.
Sources for the novel cover (I Photoshopped the images together, but this is where I got them before it was edited~):
http://www.kinyu-z.net/WDF-1566448.html
https://www.deviantart.com/torivic/art/Gopnik-Slav-Ishida-734359751
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f1/6c/01/f16c015d6865695689833f76f70be901.jpg
http://ninrp.wikia.com/wiki/Akimichi_Clan
標籤
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119評論
3.98
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
Well the start of the story was great, I guess until he put a limiter on the mc and the encounter with danzo, well let's just say that it "killed the mood" of the story. Its not even an overpowered mc as he has a limiter and! HE DOESN'T EVEN FIGHT!!!!!!! The fight scenes last for more or less HALF a chapter. Its quite boring honestly.
Chapter 21 was the last chapter I read. This novel had a lot of potential and I was very impressed by all the original ideas, but then author made M.C. too overpowered and he began to get 'scared' of his own power. M.C even bought something from system that restrains his powers. Not to mention the fact that M.C is acting like a typical japanese protagonist - Sissy* and n*aive. I gave up on this novel. And with that, I change my ratings to the minimum.
Read till chapter 71. Here is the review. Writing quality: nice Character: cliche mc who would do anything for the person they slightly bond with. Story Development: Ok How I feel about the novel: Not good for me. Mc's that help anyone and everyone that they bond with is very annoying. The main character just acts like the typical Japanese anime main character with just being a little more merciless.
I hope this is good. After novels about Inuzuka and Hyuga, I was expecting something like this. . . . . . I still do not know why I need 140 characters to be able to post this.
Stupid fucking limiter my ass. Its a good story until that part. If you dont want your mc too be OP just let him climb his way from bottom to top.
The start of this story is not bad. Nothing special, but nothing bad either, just so-so. Problem starts when author started using a very stupid reason to put the worst kind of limiter to reduce his power, just so the story can be more... "interesting", and failed quite spectacularly (see the comments on those chapters and you'll understand). I still gave this story some leniency for a few more chapters, but after another author/MC **** up, I give up.
揭示劇透
so far so good and the idea of the mc is born as the brother of chouji is pretty interesting i hope the author will release more chapter and can improve his writing style, also please release more chapter in the future and dont make the mc op to fast it will ruin your story later and becareful towards the harem route if u will add it later cause it will be sad if another good potential novel ruin because of the opness and haremm
The plot is full of holes. The writing is not as bad as other fanfic here but some logic is very pathetic. Not to mention the fact the formatting is horrendous
Pure trash, dont bother reading if u cant stand bad storytelling. I got angry after reading the first 2 chapters. I give this a big fat 000000000000000000000000000000000000.
Not my cup of tea. The is a big pussy and the author makes the mc Overpowered and now his nerf with for some Stupid bullsHitt. 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎.
I think its' cool for all authors who goes for naruto fanfics, just to show the love around for all us fans. However as a reader I got some suggestions if you're willing to take it. The concept is cool, with the whole Akimichi clan, and I know i only read a bit into you're story so far. But I think that giving the MC such an advantage with the whole he has all affinities and *spoiler* he can teleport and conceal himself... those power ups really kills the reason that you made him an Akimichi. At least to me it made no sense because the MC could've been anyone and it wouldn't matter cause he could still have those advantages. But if you were going to use the Akimichi clan I was hoping you would lean hard onto that, like make use of his position as an Akimichi, the political implications, and most importantly the jutsus specialized by the Akimichi. I think what you're writing is good, but I think it would've been GREAT if you and the other authors aren't so much in a rush to make them powerful but really dig into the clan specific jutsus your MC just happens to be, I believe that it can make the readers feel that he isn't the mc because he you chose him, he's the MC because he is an Akimichi that strove to be the Hero of the story. Anyway, just food for thought. Happy Writing.
揭示劇透
ok id just like to start off by saying yes i know this is novel is 2 years old but id like to write this review anyways for the people who are thinking of reading this so they know what they are getting into. firstly the mc is op maybe a little too op actually what am i saying this dude is so overpowered its annoying with the whole like limiter and how because he has this limiter know everythings gonna go super sanic and go 100x faster because "your using your abilitys at their max" secondly its a harem... do i need to say anything else i have read so many of these shitty harem fan-fics and while im not saying the novel is shitty so dont get me wrong there im trying to say the whole harem thing is shitty i dont wanna read like some r-18 shit on how these teenagers are having *** and how compared to the other girls "kaguya is more challenging" id like to say even though how i have talked about this may make this novel seems alot worse but we all have our own opinions i personally did not like this but i encourage you to atleast read a few chapters just to get a feel for it.
This novel is currently one of my favorite original novels on the site. The writing quality it amazing compared to most of what you find on here. You may find a few mistakes but after they are pointed out it is usually corrected quickly. As far as updates go there are normally at least one a day and here lately its been multiple everyday, which is awesome seeing as some only update once a week if your lucky. I knocked off a star on character design and two on world background. As for why I will explain and yea i know there are a lot of people out there who are going to want to ***** about my reasoning and I honestly could care less. I knocked off a point on character design due to the fact that there are less than a handful of actual original characters in the novel. The ones that are there are all well developed. While some my complain about the MCs personalitly that is a personal opinion and does not change the fact that he is a fully developed character. The missing star is mainly due to the fact that the majority of the people who appear in the story are not original characters therefor the author can not be credited with their design or development. Yes I get it is a fan fiction but it doesn't change the fact that those characters are not the authors original creations. That brings me into the next area world background. Once again I knocked off two stars due to this being a fan fiction. Why does that matter? While most don't seem to care I can not bring myself to give a full five stars when the world/worlds in this story were created by someone else. While some may complain I am nitpicking I honestly feel I have given an honest review on a novel I greatly enjoy. It is a great story that I plan to continue following. Good job mr/mrs author keep up the great work!!!
It's a fanfiction to begin with. If you hate it because it's not to your liking, why even bother to leave a trashy review. Heck, give the author props for even sharing his version of Naruto. Consider it trash? Then go make your own version and see how others see yours. Hopefully you don't go and kill yourself because of how many trash you've received.
Author is so retarded that he can't write a story properly, he's so terrible at writing he has to invent a retarded seal on mc power before ch20 just so that mc face adversary when he simply could've had mc go somewhere other than Naruto world to do the same **** but NOOOOOOOO big bad Danzo who couldn't do **** actually manages to hurt mc cause of this retarded seal, it's all fucking retarded and I think I got cancer in my eyes after reading this ****
Synopsis sounds great and I really like the Idea of this Story. Pretty sure the Author learned a lot the last 10 Months and i'm sure to try the next Novel he writes, but this one starts just was too ridiculously to even try to get into it. We have a Baby MC with a OP System and no Memory of his prior life. Explanation for everything might come later, i didnt last long enough. Anyway, the Baby is already Mature like a Adult at 6 Months, no explanation or interactions with the Father was shown and we dont know how anyone reacted to this special "baby". The Baby is also op, can interact with space, which is one of the hardest thing in this universe and saves Kushina and Naruto from their original Fate. I dont want to know what people here read for books to give this one the '5*masterpiece-review', this wont help any author to get better at writing. You have a good Head on your shoulders and are really creative, so keep writing and try to get better :) There are many Videos on YT how to build storys, characters and how to progress, i think a structure for writing would help you quite a bit :) Think about your story befor you start to write, start with a concept and flesh our your plot and characters :) good luck
I like the story at first until the 20th episode and above. It's a mood killer purely nonsense and bull****. I don't know if it is in the Naruto world, i don't think so. I'ts like a parallel Naruto world pure of ****. An OP mc with nonsense stupid limiter. He has no previous world memory but a 4 year old child with an ***** intelligence as the story says, but I say his a retard with IQ less than negative 1. This story ruin my mood in reading more Naruto fanfic novels. I like the effort of the author, but honestly it's pure crap. I'm thankful that the review have no negative rating option otherwise I'll rate it below water's freezing point. It left a bad taste, and i want to smash this novel. Bull****!
This is very great but he never did all the Daos did he he never went to all the worlds(Video Game, Novel, Anime, etc) did he he never did all there is so this is not over so everyone come on and like this book
I'm sorry but this isn't Naruto... MC help Kushina and Minato to survive nine tails attack when he wasn't even 1... If you want to make your MC OP at least make him grow, an baby MC OP should not exist. And your system is too ridiculous, it isn't fun to read a story where the MC is a walking cheat like this. And the last thing I have to say is that when I read a Naruto Fanfiction I expect to see power that come from that world not some overly cheated power that could be on random chinese xianxia.