/ Book&Literature / Creating A New Legend
摘要
Waking up in the streets of New York gifted with a mental library of Harry Potter magic is awesome but what isn't is a hell hound trying to hunt you for breakfast before you know where the hell you are.
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
6評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
there is plot hole in the when he made his house I understand that his mother probably won't like him killing trees but you have to understand that there is billions of trees in the world so she probably would not care unless he just starts taking forest down for no reason
author needs to work on working on their grammar. There are sections where there should be full stops and commas. Proof read or get a beta reader cause it’s difficult to read with the shtty grammar. Also, I dont understand why his mom would just adopt him out of nowhere. Why wait till now? I bet there must be quite a bit of demigods which would want to be adopted by her, some of which would morally lean towards good and be talented. but you do you man
could be much better it has a great concept but it's written in to much chaos and no character development or background and just random people piping up
Story chinese? [img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp]
It's an interesting fanfic, but it needs a lot of polishing. The story was a bit forced and rushed the way it was done, plus some grammatical errors and a lot happening very quickly. Honestly, instead of going straight into a pantheon the mc could have created a mage tower somewhere and settled down for a while. I would have understood if he started at the level of a hogwarts student, but the mc's magic is more at the level of a well-established average wizard in a relatively powerful fantasy world. With knowledge of wards powerful enough to build a good and safe magic tower, plus the ability to teleport to escape. Before joining a pantheon the mc should have gone through hardship to justify it, or maybe joined some monster hunter guild for a while before gaining some fame and being adopted by a pantheon.