/ Book&Literature / Am I not a diviner in potterverse, ok? Ah, look I am!
摘要
I don't have anithing from Potterverse unless my OC. Blame JKR about this. My MC is a smart and cold person who like live in liberty and situations under control.
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
24評論
4.48
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
It's been a long time since I read such a good Harry Potter fanfic, and pls don't forget about luna :) . . . . . . . . . . . .
seeing this fanfic got my attention because I like HP alot and this is my first time a new magic? tbh I didn't even read it I just want to review this, I got hooked up by the picture and in the synopsis said that he was going to be cold. so... I will try this fanfic, hope you don't let me down!!
The story was interesting. Decent abilities unique to main character and powerful background. However, there are quite a few issues with grammar and spelling. The worst for me however was a chapter that seemed to sexualize 11 year old girls and having the MC actually molest one of them. For me that is where I gave up on the story.
The character concept is good and the story has a well-thought-out plan but it lacks foundation. The childhood arc is usually the development arc but the story just skimmed or glossed over it rather than giving it more emphasis. I would say the story thus far is good the only problem I have that prevents me from truly enjoying the story is the fact that it has horrible grammar and has so many typos that I needed to re-read the sentence before understanding what it was about. I recommend that you get an editor or a proofreader, if not, use applications that would help correct your spelling and grammar like Grammarly because honestly speaking, it's hard to read.....
At first I thought this story was good. There are some grammar issues. My main gripe is the over sexualization of 11 year old girls. There is a whole chapter dedicated to it. Although the Mc is physically 11, he is mentally an adult, so it comes off creepy. I made it part way through chapter 17 but gave up after he imagined the face of a 12 year old girl as he violated her. If the characters where at least 18 or at the very least 16, there would be little problem. Ngl, this story feels pedo-ish.
Well I am shameless but not too much I don't give 5 stars at the end okay? Change the talk, why are you let of give your vote? Please I need your support. Help me and let a lot of feedback. I like, even the hate because the threads and debates about history. See ya mimna-sama.
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Good ff, only problem I have is that the author sometimes uses the wrong terminology, like calling the trace the trait or calling squibs abortions. There are paragraph comments from people wherever there are these kinds of errors, so just look through them and fix it for later. Other than that the writing is fine.
small errors in the writing, but the story is so amazing in only 11 chapters that it doesn't matter! incredible build up so far with characters that works with canon, but has fleshed out personality changes😇 the world has been used brilliantly so far. By far one of the best starts I've read in a while, if you can continue this story for full fleshed out story, then the story can go down in history as the standard for future works in fanfiction. Good job, keep up author🥳🥳
great work, highly recommend don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop don't drop
Writing quality is 2/5 Story development is 1/5 Character design is 1/10 World background is 2/10 [img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]
would be a good story if the main character was likeable at all but anyway you like at it he fails to impress. I guess the info warns you the mc doesn't care about anything but you'd be surprised how boring and lacking the mc is. other than that the story is well written and updated regularly.
Many of you are surely wondering, why I have summoned you at this hour. It's come to my attention, that earlier this evening... Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade. Now... should anyone... student or staff attempt to aid Mr. Potter? They will be punished in a manner consistent with the severity of their transcription, further more... Any person found have knowledge of these events... who fails to come forward... will be treated as equally guilty. Another... If anyone in here has any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening. I invite them to step forward. Now! It seems, despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, ...you still have a security problem, Headmaster. I'm afraid it's quite extensive. How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night? Tell them how you looked him in the eye... A man who trusted you, and killed him. Tell them! COWARD! Harry. Potter? I know that many of you will want to fight. Some of you might even think to fight is wise. But this is folly. Give me Harry Potter. Do this and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have one hour. What're you waiting for? Someone grab him! Students out of bed! Students in the corridor! They're supposed to be out of bed, you blithering idiot! Sorry ma'am. As it happens, Mr. Filch... Your arrival is most opportune. If you would, I wouldd like you please, to lead Miss Parkinson and the rest of Slytherin house, from the hall. Exactly where is it I'll be leading 'em to, ma'am? The dungeons would do. I presume you have a reason for returning, Potter. What is it you need? Time, Professor. As much as you can get me. Do what you have to do. I'll secure the castle. Potter... It's good to see you. It's good to see you too, Professor. Hold the fort, Neville. that's normal this
揭示劇透
I like the story ....................................................................................................................................
good chapter and more chapters. ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
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-good history. -it would be interesting a * fem of harry potter = henrieta *. -and do not leave the story, there were others of harry potter where they begin as brothers of hermanioni (some or half always hate hermanioni for silly reasons xD). -I hope you include girls like (daphne and her sister who in the original was married to an old man, ginerva wesley, cho chang, susan bones, fleur delacour and her sister, Luna lovegood. the twins, among others who did not are mentioned a lot).