/ Book&Literature / A Shinobi in Westeros
摘要
Owen died and was reincarnated in another world as his past life self -The amazing shinobi Riku Senju!
Or at least he has his body and skills, but not his memories!
"How do I use my chakra?! HELP!!!!!"
Abandoned story; it was the first one I wrote and its purpuse was only to get me into this writing world.
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18評論
4.33
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
The author created a character that would be OP in GOT and so he constantly nerfed the MC in really ridiculous ways. The mistake here is not creating a story in which the MC is challenged, but giving the MC an advantage and then nerfing the MC in ways that seem surreal and impossible when considering the MC's advantages. The fanfic would be really good if the author didn't spend so much time claiming that the MC has the muscular memories of a 12-year-old shinobi at the time of the most conflict in the narutoverse and then constantly nerfing him. The worst so far was a moment where the MC was nerfed in a way to ignore instincts in the middle of a fight, even when he is thus far constantly using his instincts for everything and then resulting in defeat and near death against some normal bad guys. Seriously author, if you want to give him difficulties, create a weaker MC instead of constantly needing to nerf him. Or use external factors to nerphalo instead of making the MC suddenly ignore his advantages like superhuman strength, agility, senses, reflexes and instincts. Personally for me the worst was a bruise on the leg impairing the mobility of the MC when even an ordinary person would not be affected by it during a moment of adrenaline. -------------------------------------------------- --------- Writing Quality: Overall it's good, but at one point there was a phrase in Spanish coming out of nowhere which really broke the immersion and that's why I'm giving it 4 stars. ---------- Stability of Updates: It's good, the normal webnovel of 1 chapter per day and for that I'm giving it 5 stars. --------- Story Development: In general it's good, nothing too special and for a fanfic this would be enough for me to give it 5 stars, unfortunately NERFS occurs at critical moments in the story and that hurts the development a lot, that's why I'm giving it 2 stars. ------------ Character Design: It's a bit confusing, at one point we have an MC who by inheriting the body of a 12 year old Shinobi from the Warring States era was given muscle sticks, a battle frenzy and powerful instincts, but that only seems to work during the training. When the MC goes through a real fight he seems to forget all his superhuman stats and even the chakra boost stops working. This creates a contradiction where we have a paradoxical character that at relevant moments in the plot where these inherited muscle stories and memories should come naturally actually seem to drift away and be forgotten and that's why I'm giving it 1 star. ---------- World Background: It's too early for that, so far we don't have any problems with it, but it's expected and the real challenge will only appear when the MC gets involved with the nobles and politics. I'm taking one star off because in chapter 20 we have a sudden revelation that is really generic and seems misplaced, would probably be better fitted at a later time. I'm giving 4 stars in this category. ---------- Finally, I'm taking a star off every category because of the author's childishness, including insulting readers (he called me douch) even when we don't insult him and what appears to be a refusal to even consider most readers' opinions when it runs counter to his.
I'm writing this review cuz i saw, u trying to say u are not nerfing him, which it's not really a factor my problem is that u can't take constructive criticism, to me the MC is behaving like a child and that just takes away the realism, to me he is naive, u were trying to go for how a real life person would be reacting to being in Westeros but blood, gore and deceit should be expected, it is literally the MO for GOT and it's not like he didn't choose where he would end up. frankly many people have told u this but ur forcing plots too much but it's ur story, just giving u my opinion
no problem yet never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
It seems an interesting story, but the mc doesn't totally have the memories of his avatar, only his abilities, although he knows how dangerous westeros is, he is always letting his guard down, although it seems that it is only at the beginning, for the rest it is fine, it would be good if he had more companions even a wolf.
Come on are you serious about making a ninja character but not using the chakra? , I know he lived peacefully in the previous world but his intelligence isn't like that instead acting stupid a lot, Like allowing himself to be tied up casually waiting for himself to be hit and killed, (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
To much Angst and Hurt... its pulls down the whole story. If i want to experience Stuff like that, then i can find better Stories or read the Newspapers....
The story is interesting for a shinobi of narutoverse to enjoy his life in got story. I hope the author to finish the story until the end. Good job author!
Continue.😎👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍🤭🤣💯💯💯💯💯🏝🏞❤🤣🤣🤭💯🤭💯🤔🎂👍👏🎂😏🤔😎👑🤔👑😄✌🤔☝️🚿👊🚿😋😄😏😎🤔👑🚿👊😪👊🚿👑🚿😎🚿✌🤭✌🤔
This is a really good fanfic but the main problem is that in the beginning you put to much realism to the point that you should put it on the summary as a warning because as a fanfic the readers want something more than the original and the first 25ish chapters are mainly disappointments due to too much information on some points or not enough information mixed with the mc naivety. And that he doesn’t understand the pecking order of this world which is the Nobel system unless you are in it you have no voice in this world. In the end your mc is a powerful nobody that will accomplish nothing until he enters it. Most other fanfic don’t have this problem due to their mc being born nobles or royalty. Your final main problem is that aside from training your mc doesn’t have a goal, dream or aspirations so far he is just existing which brings down the quality of the novel. Just so you know you have been boing better in these later chapters and hoping for more
I am reviewing this at Chapter 30 I'd have to say so far it is a well-balanced story. The MC does not appear to be Op don't get me wrong he's strong and he has the capability to become stronger. I also believe that the MC is well done without giving anything away it's a very realistic look at a modern person dropped into Westeros though I will say chapters are a bit short although the author does put out chapters at a decent speed this is completely my opinion and only my opinion but I prefer longer chapter then shorter faster chapters
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This is really good! I like how the MC is powerful, but not so overpowered that there's no suspense or conflict. Looking forward to future chapters!
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moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeèeeeeeeeeeemoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeèeeeeeeeeeemoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeèeeeeeeeeee
Really great novel with a good depiction of how a normal person will react on isekai situations with many clues for future story developments
Soooooooo this is the first fanfic I write in years. Leave you thought. English is my third language so I apologize if there are grammar mistakes or such.