Toneri in DC

LV 4

Troy145

no just no, you are just changing the original toneri, he never would protect the earth, even after losing to naruto he said moon will never come to earth but never said he will protect the earth, and you are making a character who doesn't care about humans in the slightest converting him into someone who cares about unknown people in a strange universe and become a cringe follower of justice league and toneri comes to the world of shinobi where basically kids are taught to kill and you are just making toneri acting friends with and saving strangers , out of character of real toneri

LV 4

ZayImmortal

the writing style is like written by AI. no hard feelings man, its just what I feel

LV 4

LastGod

7000 year old god. put on a team with teenagers. So heres what we can rule out. Romance. Unless author wants MC in jail. Charater development. MC has seen so much that all thier teenage drama and BS will feel stupid to him. u can also rule out any interesting NEW stories. Cause of the power and age of MC he will likely not feel at all inclined to help the team unless they are in danger of dieing. Freindship. Hes so old that these young people will have NOTHING in common with him. Even comradery will not be in this because he will be holding his powerback and his emotions will not be moved by childrens struggles. You could have put him as the mentor of the team. But as a member make ZERO sense.

LV 14

Lord_Y

I like it so far just don’t like way Batman is portrayed as overly supicous to the point it comes out as kinda stupid. I mean he is suspicious of people but he is more secretive with it, not basically telling the person who he is suspicious of

LV 1

Tasha_Williams_0673

Awesome novel so far. Already added to my library collection.

LV 2

Artem_5195

Please edit. Constant repetitions and AI writing style. Readable but annoying. People read to relax. Plus, the illusion works by interfering with consciousness, which can be noticed by a strong consciousness, so he used transformation to hide his eyes. And why hide? And a sage needs natural energy.

LV 14

Enlighted1

Story and the concept is good but the ai element in the novel is too much for me

LV 14

joshua_arnold

so good 10/10 __________________________

LV 2

KENZ_OO_YT

Hhhhhh I help you hhhhhhhhh[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

LV 4

Jethro24

More chapters please don’t drop this novel

LV 5

Monsterb620

No need to waste your time, this is a young justice fanfiction.

LV 4

Ole_Tessmann

The writing feels fake and unnatural. Like ai but at the some time not. Definitely still better than a lot of other fanfics on here. Can’t say much about the story line since I haven’t read much and won’t read more but toneri’s character just seems off. Not like a person that’s thousands of years old. The storyline back in his home worls is also bad, like hamura teaching him the ancient way of the ōtsutsuki but in reality just showing him how to manipulate chakra?? (Even tho he knew already) and teaching him shadow clone and then some bs about the tenseigan that didn’t make much sense. All in all probably an alright story to kill some time but not one where you desire to read more

LV 4

The_WheelOfFortune

This fanfic has many errors and throws stuff out at random for plot convenience