55評論
4.22
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
If you are looking for an original story, without system and with great character and story construction, you are in the right place. Fantastic work and very well written.
I’m seeing the R-18 tag. Can someone tell me if the author does a descriptive sex scene or only implies that they are going to have sex and story resumes next paragraph after a brief timeskip ???
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................................
a good novel to read. my only problem is the names. When referring to the persons name it often says The Senju, the jinjuriki, the nara, the uzumaki whatsoever. also the jutsu's are in romanji which disrupt the rhythm, like henge,kage bunshin,tenketsu etc. i hope in the later chapters there would be improvement. -ch70
You have a decent idea for your story but given the amount of miss spelled words it diluted your story. Also, this could just be me but if I am wanting to read a fanfic about something like naruto or one piece. I would prefer to have the mc getting involved with characters from the work.Even so I understand your options are a little limited give the time period your mc was born in if you go with an oc try your best to add pictures to the paragraph you are describing them.
Very very slow paced. I stopped reading at around chapter 130 and the MC is still a child. Reading this is like you're reading a lot of filler chapters. I also don't like the fact that the author uses Japanese names for jutsus. Every time a new jutsu is brought up, i have to google it.😩
No diré que es la mejor historia pero definitivamente es entretenida solo que hay algunas cosas que hay que arreglar urgentemente en primer lugar es la traducción es un mierda casi siempre cambian los nombres por los apellidos y eso confunde y lo otro es que apesar de saber Rasengan, chidori y sus variantes casi no las utiliza
Haven't read a story line like this until now and I really like it. The life of a shinobi is portrayed very interestingly as well as the politics that wouldn't be shown properly in the anime. Unfortunately, there are writing mistakes that are really irritating.
I mean it's alright. Better than most of the novels here but I would like to see more interaction between characters. As far as I've read, the story is just a character monologuing to themselves. Adding more interaction would make the story more dynamic.
It’s a light story which, nonetheless, doesn’t ignore the gruesomeness of the world settings. The characters are realistic and the development of the plot is logical. The chapters are short, but they accrue to a nice word amount in the end
Story has a lazy build up too many factors look like written by a child in his story time, it has failed to gain attraction for it , only good thing is combination of Nara and Uzumaki .
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update] [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
GREAT STORY, THE AUTHOR IS NOT AFRAID TO MOVE WITH THE ORIGINAL PLOT (THANKS TO KAMI-SAMA) SO YOU WON'T READ A GENERIC STORY OF A SUPER OP MC THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE MAIN STORY. THE GOAL OF THIS NOVEL IS TO CREATE AS MUCH BUTTERFLY EFFECT AS POSSIBLE, AND I DARE SAY THAT THE AUTHOR IS DOING IT WONDERFULLY. THERE IS ONLY ONE NEGATIVE POINT, THE CHAPTERS ARE SHORT. THANK YOU AP AUTHOR FOR THIS BRILLIANT WORK
My biggest issue is that the chapters are too short. I finish them in 2-3 mins.
It's a good ff but there's too many explanation that sometimes I lose my focus like which part am I again? What is this? Where is this happening? Just shorten the explanation, I can't even fathom the overall storyline as there's a whole chapter of explanation and suddenly enter into another scene. . .
Read only 1st hundred chapters, then drop it. it's waste of time, it became too repetitive. too much talking or slice of life. an old reincarnate with too much childishness, he too fking clingy. he is bias also. the author is like a Chinese person with too much nationalism, but change it to uzumaki clan. and the NAMING. tskkk....
Read good fanfic. One of the best for naruto fanfics although the story development is dreadfully slow, but slow development has its own charms Anyway I wanted to give it a 5 star bot some plot holes made me change the decision. But for a project this big I agree that some plotholes are inevitable. Anyway good read
I liked the story quite a bit then *spoiler* mc does Mito Uzamaki at 13yrs old I mean come on. I have lost all interest in continuing as this is a trend i see quite abit probably by the time this ends the mc would have every female character from before the third war including his own mom. Yea thats also heavily implied as well.
揭示劇透
Excelente novela fanfiction. Más actualizaciones por favor. El mc debería crear algo parecido al sello maldito para dominar el modo sabio. Falta una hermosa amante Uchiha. Para pasar al nivel kage el mc se puede someter al entrenamiento de netero de hxh.
Was pretty giod at the beginning i lost interest after all the woman started throwing themselves at the MC and the story started to be told as more of a retelling after the fact
I like the depth of the characters and the mc not being a simple tool. A couple words at the right time can shake worlds… A second title could be, A Nara who’s not lazy! For those who don’t like those that crush cannon and Mc’s that don’t have Goku and Naruto IQ levels of derp, this is not the book for you. Mc is clever, strong (not god) and like to stir up trouble. Hokage and his root are not good people. (Some people say the same about cannon but not all.) minor to mid lvl wish fulfillment.
揭示劇透
[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Too much relationship, I'd like it if he was a full time orphan and not had a full family, cuz family is just a weakness and tiring to look after and worry about. Only those who had nothing in the name of family were truly strong cuz there was no one holding them back. And don't shoot me with the bulshit about how love can give strength and what not cuz in real life, that's just a chain of metal holding you back from your ambitions. Family man don't achieve much than those who don't have the 'family'. Its annoying how much peace is there in his life.
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
If you are looking for an original story, without system and with great character and story construction, you are in the right place. Fantastic work and very well written.
I’m seeing the R-18 tag. Can someone tell me if the author does a descriptive sex scene or only implies that they are going to have sex and story resumes next paragraph after a brief timeskip ???
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................................
a good novel to read. my only problem is the names. When referring to the persons name it often says The Senju, the jinjuriki, the nara, the uzumaki whatsoever. also the jutsu's are in romanji which disrupt the rhythm, like henge,kage bunshin,tenketsu etc. i hope in the later chapters there would be improvement. -ch70
You have a decent idea for your story but given the amount of miss spelled words it diluted your story. Also, this could just be me but if I am wanting to read a fanfic about something like naruto or one piece. I would prefer to have the mc getting involved with characters from the work.Even so I understand your options are a little limited give the time period your mc was born in if you go with an oc try your best to add pictures to the paragraph you are describing them.
Very very slow paced. I stopped reading at around chapter 130 and the MC is still a child. Reading this is like you're reading a lot of filler chapters. I also don't like the fact that the author uses Japanese names for jutsus. Every time a new jutsu is brought up, i have to google it.😩
No diré que es la mejor historia pero definitivamente es entretenida solo que hay algunas cosas que hay que arreglar urgentemente en primer lugar es la traducción es un mierda casi siempre cambian los nombres por los apellidos y eso confunde y lo otro es que apesar de saber Rasengan, chidori y sus variantes casi no las utiliza
Haven't read a story line like this until now and I really like it. The life of a shinobi is portrayed very interestingly as well as the politics that wouldn't be shown properly in the anime. Unfortunately, there are writing mistakes that are really irritating.
I mean it's alright. Better than most of the novels here but I would like to see more interaction between characters. As far as I've read, the story is just a character monologuing to themselves. Adding more interaction would make the story more dynamic.
It’s a light story which, nonetheless, doesn’t ignore the gruesomeness of the world settings. The characters are realistic and the development of the plot is logical. The chapters are short, but they accrue to a nice word amount in the end
Story has a lazy build up too many factors look like written by a child in his story time, it has failed to gain attraction for it , only good thing is combination of Nara and Uzumaki .
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update] [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
GREAT STORY, THE AUTHOR IS NOT AFRAID TO MOVE WITH THE ORIGINAL PLOT (THANKS TO KAMI-SAMA) SO YOU WON'T READ A GENERIC STORY OF A SUPER OP MC THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE MAIN STORY. THE GOAL OF THIS NOVEL IS TO CREATE AS MUCH BUTTERFLY EFFECT AS POSSIBLE, AND I DARE SAY THAT THE AUTHOR IS DOING IT WONDERFULLY. THERE IS ONLY ONE NEGATIVE POINT, THE CHAPTERS ARE SHORT. THANK YOU AP AUTHOR FOR THIS BRILLIANT WORK
My biggest issue is that the chapters are too short. I finish them in 2-3 mins.
It's a good ff but there's too many explanation that sometimes I lose my focus like which part am I again? What is this? Where is this happening? Just shorten the explanation, I can't even fathom the overall storyline as there's a whole chapter of explanation and suddenly enter into another scene. . .
Read only 1st hundred chapters, then drop it. it's waste of time, it became too repetitive. too much talking or slice of life. an old reincarnate with too much childishness, he too fking clingy. he is bias also. the author is like a Chinese person with too much nationalism, but change it to uzumaki clan. and the NAMING. tskkk....
Read good fanfic. One of the best for naruto fanfics although the story development is dreadfully slow, but slow development has its own charms Anyway I wanted to give it a 5 star bot some plot holes made me change the decision. But for a project this big I agree that some plotholes are inevitable. Anyway good read
I liked the story quite a bit then *spoiler* mc does Mito Uzamaki at 13yrs old I mean come on. I have lost all interest in continuing as this is a trend i see quite abit probably by the time this ends the mc would have every female character from before the third war including his own mom. Yea thats also heavily implied as well.
揭示劇透 Excelente novela fanfiction. Más actualizaciones por favor. El mc debería crear algo parecido al sello maldito para dominar el modo sabio. Falta una hermosa amante Uchiha. Para pasar al nivel kage el mc se puede someter al entrenamiento de netero de hxh.
Was pretty giod at the beginning i lost interest after all the woman started throwing themselves at the MC and the story started to be told as more of a retelling after the fact
I like the depth of the characters and the mc not being a simple tool. A couple words at the right time can shake worlds… A second title could be, A Nara who’s not lazy! For those who don’t like those that crush cannon and Mc’s that don’t have Goku and Naruto IQ levels of derp, this is not the book for you. Mc is clever, strong (not god) and like to stir up trouble. Hokage and his root are not good people. (Some people say the same about cannon but not all.) minor to mid lvl wish fulfillment.
揭示劇透 [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Too much relationship, I'd like it if he was a full time orphan and not had a full family, cuz family is just a weakness and tiring to look after and worry about. Only those who had nothing in the name of family were truly strong cuz there was no one holding them back. And don't shoot me with the bulshit about how love can give strength and what not cuz in real life, that's just a chain of metal holding you back from your ambitions. Family man don't achieve much than those who don't have the 'family'. Its annoying how much peace is there in his life.