章節 17: 17•Not in my house[2]
Will arrived at Gloria house as he knocked on the door and the one who opened it was Jay.
Jay:"Hey kid, what's going on?"
Will:"Well-"
Gloria:"He's here to play with manny!"
Gloria came out behind as she interrupted Will with Jay just looking at them suspiciously and nodding.
Jay:"Well he's upstairs, since he decided not to go with Mitchell anymore and uh, Gloria, do you have any idea why Barkley was in the guest room?"
Entering, Will stood near the entrance as his mission was to somehow steal this without getting caught.
——-Commentary——-
Gloria was on her couch as Will appeared sitting next to her
Gloria:"El Diablo, that's what it is, sometimes I just wanna stick a knife through it but since Jay really loves it, I have to use a simpler way"
She turned to look at Will.
Gloria:"You ready to know how to steal like a Colombian?"
Will who was chuckling nervously, shook his head to the sides as Gloria just smiled
Gloria:"It's okay, your not gonna get shot. It all works if you have speed, grab it and run"
Will:"Wouldn't it be better if we you know…"
He made a gesture of slicing a head with his thumb across his neck as Gloria gasped and looked shocked.
Will:"You said you wanted to put a knife through it."
Gloria:"Yeah, but not kill it"
She shook her head as the camera focused on Will who just looked confused and simply shook his head with a shrug
——Commentary ends——-
Gloria:"I was just doing a little redecorating. Sometimes it's good to move things around just to see how they look."
Jay:"Yeah, but the guest room? That's crazy. He's not a guest. He works for us. Hey, Will give me a hand here,will you?"
Gloria made a face that meant 'Get rid of it' but Jay didn't catch it as he started to hold it from one side as Will came to the other side and holding it by the arm and the back of the suit.
But While Will was pulling it up, so they could move it faster, he accidentally pulled to hard as the fabric ripped.
Gloria:"Ha!"
Jay quickly looked at his Wife as she just covered her mouth with one hand as she turned to the side
Jay:"What was that? Is he all right?"
Will:"I'm sorry Jay, I think I pulled to hard."
Jay:"Well, don't panic."
Will:"But I'm not."
Jay:"All right, try to relax. We can fix him. Let me take a better look.Come here, boy."
Will:"Sorry, Jay. I swear it was an accident"
They started to move to the living room as Gloria followed behind.
Jay:"Eh it's not your fault kid. Gloria shouldn't have moved it in the first place"
Gloria:"Me? If you didn't put this thing here then it would have been safe…in a place no one can see it"
Gloria said the last part in a mumble as Jay looked at her suspiciously. He then looked to Will with his eyebrow raised as he just shrugged.
Jay:"You know, I'm beginning to think you don't like Barkley that much. I mean, first you hide him in the guest room, and you laughed when Will almost damaged it. Luckily it can still be saved"
She let out a sigh as she said something Spanish while putting her bag down in the counter
Gloria:"It's ridiculous. Will didn't mean to hurt it.
Jay:"First of all, let's cut the "it"s.He is a he. And you can pretend to be innocent all you want, but action speaks louder than words."
Jay leaned it a bit foward as he went behind it to inspect the damage but Will couldn't help but snicker a bit with Jay taking a quick look at him confused
Gloria:"Yeah. They can be very revealing."
Jay:"What are you trying to say?"
Will:"Uh Jay, it looks like your humping it."
Jay looked at Will then at Gloria as he turned back to see Will was right. Jay coughed a bit as he quickly got off and started to put him in multiple positions making it worse.
Jay:"Okay you know what this is my house, there's a thing called privacy"
Gloria:"Jay you have to admit that the dog butler is a little ridiculous."
Jay gave the butler to Will as he faced Gloria.
Jay:"You know what else I think is ridiculous? That mountain of pillows you have on our bed. I feel like I'm working on a loading dock just trying to get under the covers."
Gloria:"They're pretty."
Jay:"They're a damn nuisance."
Gloria:"Okay, forgive me for trying to make our home beautiful."
Gloria was making head movements as Will acted dumb and stood there with the butler in his arms from behind.
Jay:"You know, if I can put up with those, you can put up with a piece of art."
She scoffed as she stuck out her hand and pointed to the butler
Gloria:"This is not art. This is an unholy mix between man and beast. But, fine, if you love it so much, put it wherever you want. Let's go Will"
Will was about to put it down but she scrunched up her face when her back was to Jay as clearly it was a sign to not put it down and play along so hopefully Jay doesn't catch along and they can leave with it.
Jay:"Thank you. Where you going? To get some more pillows?"
Gloria:"No, don't worry. It'll be a long time before I bother you again with my pillows"
They exited out as Jay sighed while leaning on a chair, looking around for Barkley, he quickly walked out of the house when remembering he gave it to Will so he could hold it when he was arguing with Gloria.
But he was to late as her car was already backing out of the drive way with him seeing his Barkley in the back of the car through the window.
Jay:"God damn it"
Quickly getting into his car, he started to follow them. Will was in the car of Gloria as his car that he came with was now going to be a decoy that hopefully would throw off Jay but Gloria didn't know that Jay already saw Barkley in her car
While that was going on. At the Dunphy house Luke just came back as Claire repeatedly smacked Phil arm.
Phil:"Ow ow. What's going on?"
Claire:"There's your cue."
Phil:"Oh right!"
Knowing it was time to play along, Phil quickly got into Luke's room with him shutting the door as Claire waited patiently downstairs. Alex was already walking out of her room when she saw her dad closing the door with a click.
Walking down she walked towards her mom who was siting down while writing something
Alex:"Why is Dad in Luke's room with the door closed?"
Claire not wanting to share just decided to not tell the whole truth
Claire:"They are having a little talk."
Alex:"Is Luke being punished?"
Claire:"Is that just your favorite thing, when your brother or sister gets into trouble?
Alex:"No it's When Will was shirt-Uh! My favorite is when they're both in trouble."
Claire suspiciously looked at her daughter as she blushed while fixing her glasses.
Alex:"So, what'd he do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater."
Trying to divert the topic, Alex didn't want her mom to figure out the rest of the word she was about to say.
Claire:"He did not cheat on a test."
Alex:"Did he lie? He lies all the time."
Claire:"Alex. Alex."
Alex:"Sorry. I'm just worried about Luke. A lot of parents are hitting again."
Successfully changing the topic, Claire just shook her head
Claire:"I appreciate your concern,but your father has it under control."
Alex nodded as she got a pair of scissors from a drawer and headed back up to her room but not before passing Luke's room and hearing a faint smack.
She stopped in her place as she heard Luke wincing in pain, she walked away with a satisfying smile.
Minutes later, Phil came down with a solemn look as he headed to kitchen with Claire tapping her Spoon on the mug
Claire:"Mmm. How'd it go?"
Phil:"Well, he was really embarrassed, but everything's- everything's fine now."
He lied, The talking was only about a game while they were slapping each-other hands
Claire:"What'd you say?"
Phil:"Well, you know, I kinda promised him we'd keep everything between us."
Claire:"Mm-hmm."
Phil:"Matter of fact, he'd be mortified if you brought it up with him... ever."
Claire:"Oh, God, really?"
Phill nodded as Claire put down her mug
Claire:"That actually makes me feel kinda bad."
Phil:"Well,you're probably just feeling a little tense from all this."
Claire:"I know I am."
Phil:"You know what might help the situation?"
He rubbed her back as he gave her a grin while Claire grinned.
Claire:"Really? Right now?"
Taking his hand away, he looked at her with a blank look while shaking his head
Phil:"I meant going out for a few pizzas. Where's your mind? I guess I live in a house full of sex maniacs."
And with that, he left to go pick up his order of pizzas Alex quickly ran up to her room after noticing her poster, that was in the garage, had permanent sharpie scribbles ruining the poster.
Alex:"Did you draw on my poster?
Haley:"Yeah, I did. Maybe you'll think about that the next time you read my journal."
Alex:"I didn't read your stupid journal, and I waited in line to get this signed Haley."
Haley:"Oh, don't be such a baby. You know when your this grouchy, it's nice to have Will around so he could just stick his tongue down your throat to make you shut up and besides It's just some dude with weird hair."
Alex only blushed as she shook her head
Alex:"That doesn't calm me down. And for your information That's Maya Angelou, you idiot."
Haley:"Oh, sorry. I don't follow the WNBA."
Alex:"You know what? This is the worst thing you've ever done, and I'll never forgive you!"
Exiting out angrily while simply shaking her head, Haley just scoffed as Luke came around the corner
Haley:"You started it! What are you looking at?"
Luke:"Well, I just heard-"
The door was loudly shut in his face as he went back downstairs while looking down. He arrived in the living room with Claire putting down plastic plates on the coffee table with 2 bottles of soda.
Luke:"Mom, can I talk to you?"
Claire:"Sure, honey. What's going on?"
Luke:"I feel bad about something I did."
Claire:"Oh, sweetie. Is this about the computer?"
Luke:"Yeah."
Claire:"Something you shouldn't have been looking at?"
He nodded as Claire sat on the hard part of the couch.
Luke:"Yeah. It was just so freaky. I couldn't stop looking."
Claire:"I know, sweet pea. But the important thing is you did stop looking."
Luke:"Yeah. After about an hour."
Claire:"Okay.Well,it's perfectly normal to be curious about these things."
Luke:"Some parts were funny. And some parts just seemed crazy."
Claire stood up and simply just shook her head as she sigh
Claire:"Well, I hope you realize that some of those parts weren't real."
Luke:"Obviously.But they can be totally real,right Like Anne Frank's?"
He at first chuckled but looked seriously as Claire looked confused
Claire:"What?"
Luke:"All I know is it really made me wonder about Haley."
Claire:"That's disturbing, sweetie. Why Haley?"
Footsteps were Approaching as Haley came in on their conversation
Luke:"It was her journal."
Haley:"You read my journal? You little creep!"
Luke:"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it."
Claire:"Wait. Haley's journal too? Luke, you are now banned from the computer."
Luke:"What?"
Not to long after, Alex came downstairs as she stopped on the stairs.
Alex:"What happened? Who's in trouble?"
Haley:"Luke read my journal!"
Alex:"I told you it wasn't me!"
Haley:"I'm gonna kill you."
Claire:"Haley, calm down."
Haley:"Wait, you're not even gonna yell at him? that was private."
Claire:"Oh, please.The most shocking thing in there was your spelling."
Alex had a shocked faced as Haley just simply scoffed while Claire realized she just outed her self
Haley:"You read it too?"
Alex:"Am I the only one who hasn't read it?"
Claire:"I was looking through the computers in the house for pornography."
Haley:"Sick."
Claire:"Not for me.I wanted to see what you guys are looking at."
Haley:"So you're violating our privacy."
Claire:"When I find out that my children... are looking at a naked picture online, they don't have any privacy"
Alex:"Who was looking at naked pictures?"
Claire:"That doesn't matter."
Alex:"I wasn't."
Haley:"Wasn't me."
Haley tilted her head and looked at Luke as he scrunched up his face
Luke:"That's gross. I'm 10!"
Claire:"Wait a minute."
Alex:"What's wrong with you people?"
Alex mumbled as Claire grabbed Luke by the hair and made him face up as she bended down a bit
Claire:"If it wasn't you, who was it?"
The door opens to reveal Will with Barkley as everyone looked at him with wide eyes but after thinking about it for a second they simply shook their heads.
Will:"I hired you guys an unholy beast between man and animal."
He smiled as everyone just shook their heads. Gloria was outside on the phone talking to Jay. At first they went to Mitchell household but after knowing they were occupied with a wedding that was oddly in their house, they headed for the Dunphy house to see if they would take Barkley.
Haley:"Well That doesn't answer the question"
After Haley said that, Phil came in with a box of pizzas as he said something in Italian as everyone except for Will had wide eyes
Claire:"No but that does"
She was already glaring at Phil as he gulped down knowing he was caught. She walked off with Phil putting the pizza boxes down on the couch as Alex welcomed Will and told him he could Barkley down as they started to grab a piece of pizza with Phill yelling a 'Yeah' from the other room.
Will walked in to the kitchen, trying to find some cups for their sodas as he walked in at the wrong time
Phil:"Your all the porn I need-"
Claire and Phil turned to see Will with wide eyes as he walked out with the couple simply grinning and shaking their heads.
Haley was off into her room as she grabbed a slice of pizza as Luke went into the garage to find his basketball and play outside.
Alex:"So I can tell by you having Barkley that your day was not normal?"
Will:"You got that right, what about you? Anything hectic happened around?"
Alex:"Well the short version is we all thought Luke was looking at porn but it was actually my dad"
She shuddered at that thought as she simply took a bite out of her pizza.
Will:"Wow, yeah you win"
Alex chuckled as she watched in horror when she saw Will folding his pizza in half and taking a bite.
Will:"What?"
Alex:"You didn't tell me your were a psychopath!"
Will:"What's wrong eating it like this?"
Alex:"That's not the right way"
Will:"There's a right way?"
Alex:"Duh, they're triangles so only really one way to eat them and it's eating it flat like this"
She demonstrated as Will simply chuckled. But before Alex could take a bite, Will invaded as he bit the side of it with Alex looking shocked.
Alex:"I'm gonna have to teach you how to eat"
She shook her head as she started to giggle when Will was tickling her sides.
Alex:"Okay i give, st-stop"
Will:"But I don't want to"
Alex:"St-stop"
Alex started to squirm as she got off the couch and stood up fixing her hair and glasses with a slight hue of red on her face.
Will:"Fine but come here, show me how to"
Alex huffed out as she sat next to him as he put his arm around her as Alex started to feed him.
Alex:"Like thiss"
She dragged out the word as she started to blush when realizing what she was doing. Will teased her by calling her cute like a cat and when he did, she stopped feeding him.
Will clinged on to her arm and apologized as Alex shook her head. It took many 'sorrys' but Alex gave in and went back to eating enjoyably.
Will:"Now here"
He folded his pizza in half as Alex looked at him weirdly but didn't say anything as she opened her mouth and let him feed her.
Will:"See? Nothing changes"
Alex:"Yeah but it's still weird"
She shrugged as she had one hand cover her mouth. Her other hand was holding her pizza as Will simply put his hand in the gap between hers and did what some people do when they make each other drink.
Alex looked confused.
Will:"It's called Brüderschaft? I think? It means brotherhood and is a drinking ritual to consolidate friendship.Two people simultaneously drink with their arms intertwined at the elbows.Then, they kiss, sometimes on the mouth but i think we could change that meaning today and replace it with couple and instead of drinks, we replace it with pizza?"
Alex was honestly shocked at how he could speak another language but that didn't matter as her ears were red hearing what he said.
She moved her head up and down slowly as they took a bite, and drinked some of their soda.
Looking into each other eyes, Alex was the first to break eye contact as she looked around, indicating she was nervous. Sure they had done some kisses here and there, even some romantic ones while some genuine kisses but for some reason this was much more.
Not giving her a heads up, he smashed his lips against hers as she was taken back but simply kissed back as it last for only 10 seconds.
Will backed away with her looking giddy but turned around hearing her mother cough.
Alex:"Uh mom we can ex-"
Claire:"No it's…fine, besides that's your first one in front of me right Will?"
Remembering the agreement Will nodded as Claire smiled and left a bewildered Alex.
They chuckled and went to turn on the TV to watch something. Not noticing Jay entering quietly as he looked confused but didn't bother them as he took Barkley with a grin
(AN:I think I might change his dad name)
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