摘要
(Dropped)
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
6評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
thank you for returning this fanfic even if you won't finish it. I still enjoy reading this.
this is one of the best modern family fanfics i have seen , too bad its kinda droped i guess , but still those 32 chapters were really good .
The writing leaves something to be desired. It's just there are editing issues that if you read back what you write, you can edit it into a better more understandable syntax. Some of the conversations make no sense because you mess up exactly how they speak. I have never heard the term bell work in my life. It might be because you're from a different city-state or even country. But if you take out those kind of terms, we will leave it more open to interpretation for each person. Also , you don't have to go so into detail with school life to the point of describing how they do their lunches. Just say that they're in lunch and that everybody is at lunch. It really doesn't matter wouldn't have changed the story at all. There's also a issue about when he died and his maturity level somebody who died at a time when they would be mature enough to enjoy. Modern family wouldn't have a problem with his new mother and father being slightly absent. There's also an issue with developing a story away from the families and modern family. You can't always be a part of the families adventures. They have their own family each of them. You can't have an a character injected into their family every time there's something cool going on. So you need to develop who he is and what his passions are and what he's doing outside of the family.
I can’t believe you dropped this book it was one of my favorites