47評論
3.73
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
Read a few chapters and didn't find myself enjoying this fanfic, the flow was not that great and the MC was not that appealing, so I dropped it. The grammar was good though.
Buena historia! Auque parece que no tiene mucho apoyo y las actualizaciones algo lentas. Ojala la historia continue kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk[img=sad][img=sad]
The writing quality is good. No stupid Chinese adjectives using jade as a descriptive or the like. Story development is kinda slow, but each author has their own pacing and style. The main character, in my opinion, is pure trash and is worse than the villains and deserves every sick and twisted thing he has done to others, done to him as karmic justice. The story is over one hundred chapters but is still releasing two chapters a week. The world background has already been built, so the author just needs to add his character or characters to the story and just fill their back story, and they are good to go.
Utter trash, i wonder how could someone have this trashy imagination where he makes mc cringe, dillusional and edgy. i have read lots of works that are trash as i was browsing for new novels. but this was in particular was so bad that i still feel cringe whenever i come across this novel in my search history.
The best opm ff with villain mc. thank you author very much hope to get more updates ..............................................................................................................................................................................
Well, what can I say ? You won't have to wait long to figure what this story is about aka edgy sasuke level edgelord bored of everything trying to score girls in OPM world, author is very defensive and try to make MC appear "cool" but in the cringiest way possible, there is 90% chance author is not an adult yet and it shows. Maybe read it ironically ?
No parece que el escritor intenté hacer este Fit interesante, una personalidad disque fría y calculadora pero no calcula nada y es un cobarde
boy, this story is fun, I hope the protagonist becomes strong enough to at least defeat Boros and the footprint of the Gundam armor was great I really like Gundams if he summons a giant Gundam robot to fight it would be incredible now talking about the growing harem the monster girl kaijin hime-do-s, in addition to being sexy and very hot, has a very attractive power, I believe that if you decide to include that monster delight, it will leave the protagonist immune to the hypnotic effects it has
Gave it the benefit of doubt. unfortunately ended up dissapointed. As others mention MC is plainly unlikable. I mean some character development maybe? Nope, I mean its doable in some gray dark MCs but this one just doesn't cut it. Reminds me of a more edgy cringe sasuke with mix of psycho. You can give a try but youve being warned.
bro like to talk to himself and out loud a lot, plus super edgy grin and smirk🗿
Minable [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
What is the mother name and when will she sleep with her son. ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Take in mind that I usually don’t like 1st person writing. First for the good parts: it has a decent premise and has good plot. Bad parts: First is the horrible choice in what,1-3, person the story should be written. Throughout the novel the author switches between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. The author also seems to be writing in third person and then just replacing all the he with I. It turns out very striking when the mc is talking about himself in an outsiders(3rd persons) perspective but sticks with I throughout. The author also likes to have sentences describing scenes with you(2nd person) perspective and then follows with a 1st person sarcastic comment. It is so bad that I had to stop early. Character design is kinda influenced by the above problem. The mc seems very apathetic and distant. This is further exacerbated by the seemingly sarcastic comments made by the mc along with the serious 4th wall breaking moments. It really takes a lot away from the story and made me drop the book after the 5th time seeing it happen. Note to author: Stick with 1 perspective. Don’t assume that the readers know everything about the one piece series. Don’t make mc comments different from how you describe the world. If u describe, for example, a teleportation as flashy and unexpected( again with the sudden perspective change) don’t follow it up with the mc saying it is normal. Who is the mc talking to? The reader, obviously, but keep ur stories contained in the story!!! Don’t try to comment on imaginary, in the mcs perspective, people. It just drives me to believe the mc is psychotic. This isn’t helped by the attitude and personality traits u decided to give ur mc.
揭示劇透
Ok... lets start. MC is VERY annoying, chaotic evil and does whatever he wants without regards to anything. He arrived to one punch man with a system to collect women, not love them, but collect them. So its not really up to my tastes. MC even had to hold back killing Lily from the blizzard group and held back just because she was a system target. Villian dosnt really fits this mc. Evil fits more.
Ta loco tio [img=coins][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=exp][img=coins]
This is not Harem, it should be called the life of mosquito girl and the mc, in the almost 100 chapters the story focuses on the mosquito girl and the mc besides that from chapter 50 to 98 under the quality of both the story and the amount of words per chapter and became quite bland.
Auteur psycho , violeur [img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
This novel is better for a more emotionally mature audience.MC: Chad, no virgin act, no emotional weakness, he pursues what he wants.Plot: Well directed, the author doesn't forget what he wrote, the world gives a fair challenge.
Ehem.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
don't drop author......[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Auteur dit que son histoire est très intelligente mais je disais que de la stupidité rentrer dans un monde pour refuser de parler aux personnages qui sont dans ce monde c'est juste ridicule surtout quand il est fort le personnage bref cinq chapitres très très long à lire un calvaire
3.8 estrellas la trama es bastante bien es el típico mc con systema +18 que prácticamente. No lo ha usado en los 60 capitulos (ya se a costo con una mujer que le pide el systema y adivinen, no dio ninguna recompensa o poder/ habilidad o logro/ prácticamente el systema más inutil que he visto. En todo el trascurso de la historia el sistema solo le dio una habilidad y eso solo fue al inicio y eso es todo. Prácticamente inútil.
bro, they deleted your aot fic, will you repost it or drop it? [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Read a few chapters and didn't find myself enjoying this fanfic, the flow was not that great and the MC was not that appealing, so I dropped it. The grammar was good though.
Buena historia! Auque parece que no tiene mucho apoyo y las actualizaciones algo lentas. Ojala la historia continue kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk[img=sad][img=sad]
The writing quality is good. No stupid Chinese adjectives using jade as a descriptive or the like. Story development is kinda slow, but each author has their own pacing and style. The main character, in my opinion, is pure trash and is worse than the villains and deserves every sick and twisted thing he has done to others, done to him as karmic justice. The story is over one hundred chapters but is still releasing two chapters a week. The world background has already been built, so the author just needs to add his character or characters to the story and just fill their back story, and they are good to go.
Utter trash, i wonder how could someone have this trashy imagination where he makes mc cringe, dillusional and edgy. i have read lots of works that are trash as i was browsing for new novels. but this was in particular was so bad that i still feel cringe whenever i come across this novel in my search history.
The best opm ff with villain mc. thank you author very much hope to get more updates ..............................................................................................................................................................................
Well, what can I say ? You won't have to wait long to figure what this story is about aka edgy sasuke level edgelord bored of everything trying to score girls in OPM world, author is very defensive and try to make MC appear "cool" but in the cringiest way possible, there is 90% chance author is not an adult yet and it shows. Maybe read it ironically ?
No parece que el escritor intenté hacer este Fit interesante, una personalidad disque fría y calculadora pero no calcula nada y es un cobarde
boy, this story is fun, I hope the protagonist becomes strong enough to at least defeat Boros and the footprint of the Gundam armor was great I really like Gundams if he summons a giant Gundam robot to fight it would be incredible now talking about the growing harem the monster girl kaijin hime-do-s, in addition to being sexy and very hot, has a very attractive power, I believe that if you decide to include that monster delight, it will leave the protagonist immune to the hypnotic effects it has
Gave it the benefit of doubt. unfortunately ended up dissapointed. As others mention MC is plainly unlikable. I mean some character development maybe? Nope, I mean its doable in some gray dark MCs but this one just doesn't cut it. Reminds me of a more edgy cringe sasuke with mix of psycho. You can give a try but youve being warned.
bro like to talk to himself and out loud a lot, plus super edgy grin and smirk🗿
Minable [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
What is the mother name and when will she sleep with her son. ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Take in mind that I usually don’t like 1st person writing. First for the good parts: it has a decent premise and has good plot. Bad parts: First is the horrible choice in what,1-3, person the story should be written. Throughout the novel the author switches between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. The author also seems to be writing in third person and then just replacing all the he with I. It turns out very striking when the mc is talking about himself in an outsiders(3rd persons) perspective but sticks with I throughout. The author also likes to have sentences describing scenes with you(2nd person) perspective and then follows with a 1st person sarcastic comment. It is so bad that I had to stop early. Character design is kinda influenced by the above problem. The mc seems very apathetic and distant. This is further exacerbated by the seemingly sarcastic comments made by the mc along with the serious 4th wall breaking moments. It really takes a lot away from the story and made me drop the book after the 5th time seeing it happen. Note to author: Stick with 1 perspective. Don’t assume that the readers know everything about the one piece series. Don’t make mc comments different from how you describe the world. If u describe, for example, a teleportation as flashy and unexpected( again with the sudden perspective change) don’t follow it up with the mc saying it is normal. Who is the mc talking to? The reader, obviously, but keep ur stories contained in the story!!! Don’t try to comment on imaginary, in the mcs perspective, people. It just drives me to believe the mc is psychotic. This isn’t helped by the attitude and personality traits u decided to give ur mc.
揭示劇透 Ok... lets start. MC is VERY annoying, chaotic evil and does whatever he wants without regards to anything. He arrived to one punch man with a system to collect women, not love them, but collect them. So its not really up to my tastes. MC even had to hold back killing Lily from the blizzard group and held back just because she was a system target. Villian dosnt really fits this mc. Evil fits more.
Ta loco tio [img=coins][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=exp][img=coins]
This is not Harem, it should be called the life of mosquito girl and the mc, in the almost 100 chapters the story focuses on the mosquito girl and the mc besides that from chapter 50 to 98 under the quality of both the story and the amount of words per chapter and became quite bland.
Auteur psycho , violeur [img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
This novel is better for a more emotionally mature audience.MC: Chad, no virgin act, no emotional weakness, he pursues what he wants.Plot: Well directed, the author doesn't forget what he wrote, the world gives a fair challenge.
Ehem.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
don't drop author......[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Auteur dit que son histoire est très intelligente mais je disais que de la stupidité rentrer dans un monde pour refuser de parler aux personnages qui sont dans ce monde c'est juste ridicule surtout quand il est fort le personnage bref cinq chapitres très très long à lire un calvaire
3.8 estrellas la trama es bastante bien es el típico mc con systema +18 que prácticamente. No lo ha usado en los 60 capitulos (ya se a costo con una mujer que le pide el systema y adivinen, no dio ninguna recompensa o poder/ habilidad o logro/ prácticamente el systema más inutil que he visto. En todo el trascurso de la historia el sistema solo le dio una habilidad y eso solo fue al inicio y eso es todo. Prácticamente inútil.
bro, they deleted your aot fic, will you repost it or drop it? [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]