26評論
3.72
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
The character is set as overpowered from the get go so there’ no character development and there a lack of plot …
Fue emocionante ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
揭示劇透
Read to chapter 33. It is more apt to call this a diary or journal, not a story. Most character/emotional development is glossed over or outright skipped, and never once (outside of a scant few snippets) does the writing actually draw you in and submerse you into a scene. Other than that, there are plenty of typos and missed spaces, but not anything close to terrible by Webnovel standards. To the author: I highly recommend going to Dean Wesley Smith’s blog and looking up what “Depth” is. Your novel is sorely lacking it.
揭示劇透
Definitely quite intrigued and curious about what had just happened in this chapter wonder how things will go with the Children of The Moon and Cold Ones look forward to reading more of this book cant wait for when ur able to get the chance
Quite a interesting chapter not to mention a good choice on having something to alert when someone is trying to break in the way Edward did wonder what will happen next especially for the Cullens
The grammar is horrible but the worst problem is the passing. The story just feels like it jumps around to much and by the time you get into the event the author has already moved on.
I have found this book to be quite interesting and intriguing especially with how u ended up having Harry Potter act or should say Hadrian Peverell and way how he forms his council as well his own coven and makes it the strongest not to mention the people that he has in them and way he handled the issues with The Volturi and how they got taken off their pedestal by him and now his coven is the strongest and is the one that is in charge they are the Kings and Queen's etc. In the supernatural community truly look forward to reading more of this book and finding out what will happen next especially with so many things changing from the original timeline and everything cant wait for when ur able to get the chance to continue on with this book
Great Fan-fic! [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
It's a great Twilight fanfiction!!! 👍👍 I like how Harry doesn't know about Twilight plot and make many2 change, like Jane, Alec, Demitri, Stevan, Marcus, etc join his coven.. They even have mates.. 👍👍👍 The only downside is you make Harry/Hadrian so OP.. He even can make a vampire pregnant and have a baby.. The grammar is also a bit hard to read, but I still understand what you mean.. Well, that's all is just my opinion, hope you don't mind a bit critics 😁😁 Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 👍👍👍😍😍
MC know future science, is an expert wizard, can copy all vampires powers he is thousands years old and the more he age the stronger he get, he is immortal and no one is as strong as him... where is the fun in this? he can do anything he want, nobody can stop him. this fic consist of him repairing to many cruel things that happened in twilight, but he do so without difficulties. i don't like such an over powered MC, they don't have any real development.
Its not horrible its just boring... the real problem this book has is horrible grammar, this book is in dire need of a good editor or a good edit
great story keep up the good work! ...............................................................................................................
Nothing good or special about the story it really boring the only thing that was kinda good about it was how he got there the writing is also terrible
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
is there romance? z z z z z z z z z. z z z z. z z z. z. z z z. z z. z. z z z z. z z z. z. z z z z zz z. z. z z z z z. z z z z z. z z. z z z
Good Story. Keep the updates comming, can´t wait to read more =)!!! I wish more HP/Twilight fics would be like yours.
definitely one of the best hp/ twilight fanfic I have ever read so far. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
maybe the idea was good but has grammar errors. The biggest problem, the story need a good Edit and i mean a REALLY good Edit. .
Want more🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fun.......................[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
In short: Don't bother with this fic unless you have literally nothing better to read. The longer I read, the harder it was to do so. There are multiple occasions where the author repeats paragraphs from a previous chapter or cuts sentences in half and space them out even though it should clearly be one paragraph. Besides that there are so many spelling and grammatical errors. Oh and let's not forget about 19/88 (a significant percentage) chapters just being announcements for other fics or polls for those fics. I think he started 3-4 other fics whilst writing this one and boy does it show. It feels like the uploads were rushed without a single proof read and it doesn't surprise me that it got dropped. I haven't read any of the other fics the author has posted pretty much because of the above reasons. If he treats this novel like that, who's to say the others won't be the same. I understand the author write fics just for fun, but the way he handled this was a disservice to the fic and themselves. A shame, really
The character is set as overpowered from the get go so there’ no character development and there a lack of plot …
Fue emocionante ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
揭示劇透 Read to chapter 33. It is more apt to call this a diary or journal, not a story. Most character/emotional development is glossed over or outright skipped, and never once (outside of a scant few snippets) does the writing actually draw you in and submerse you into a scene. Other than that, there are plenty of typos and missed spaces, but not anything close to terrible by Webnovel standards. To the author: I highly recommend going to Dean Wesley Smith’s blog and looking up what “Depth” is. Your novel is sorely lacking it.
揭示劇透 Definitely quite intrigued and curious about what had just happened in this chapter wonder how things will go with the Children of The Moon and Cold Ones look forward to reading more of this book cant wait for when ur able to get the chance
Quite a interesting chapter not to mention a good choice on having something to alert when someone is trying to break in the way Edward did wonder what will happen next especially for the Cullens
The grammar is horrible but the worst problem is the passing. The story just feels like it jumps around to much and by the time you get into the event the author has already moved on.
I have found this book to be quite interesting and intriguing especially with how u ended up having Harry Potter act or should say Hadrian Peverell and way how he forms his council as well his own coven and makes it the strongest not to mention the people that he has in them and way he handled the issues with The Volturi and how they got taken off their pedestal by him and now his coven is the strongest and is the one that is in charge they are the Kings and Queen's etc. In the supernatural community truly look forward to reading more of this book and finding out what will happen next especially with so many things changing from the original timeline and everything cant wait for when ur able to get the chance to continue on with this book
Great Fan-fic! [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
It's a great Twilight fanfiction!!! 👍👍 I like how Harry doesn't know about Twilight plot and make many2 change, like Jane, Alec, Demitri, Stevan, Marcus, etc join his coven.. They even have mates.. 👍👍👍 The only downside is you make Harry/Hadrian so OP.. He even can make a vampire pregnant and have a baby.. The grammar is also a bit hard to read, but I still understand what you mean.. Well, that's all is just my opinion, hope you don't mind a bit critics 😁😁 Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 👍👍👍😍😍
MC know future science, is an expert wizard, can copy all vampires powers he is thousands years old and the more he age the stronger he get, he is immortal and no one is as strong as him... where is the fun in this? he can do anything he want, nobody can stop him. this fic consist of him repairing to many cruel things that happened in twilight, but he do so without difficulties. i don't like such an over powered MC, they don't have any real development.
Its not horrible its just boring... the real problem this book has is horrible grammar, this book is in dire need of a good editor or a good edit
great story keep up the good work! ...............................................................................................................
Nothing good or special about the story it really boring the only thing that was kinda good about it was how he got there the writing is also terrible
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
is there romance? z z z z z z z z z. z z z z. z z z. z. z z z. z z. z. z z z z. z z z. z. z z z z zz z. z. z z z z z. z z z z z. z z. z z z
Good Story. Keep the updates comming, can´t wait to read more =)!!! I wish more HP/Twilight fics would be like yours.
definitely one of the best hp/ twilight fanfic I have ever read so far. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
maybe the idea was good but has grammar errors. The biggest problem, the story need a good Edit and i mean a REALLY good Edit. .
Want more🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fun.......................[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
In short: Don't bother with this fic unless you have literally nothing better to read. The longer I read, the harder it was to do so. There are multiple occasions where the author repeats paragraphs from a previous chapter or cuts sentences in half and space them out even though it should clearly be one paragraph. Besides that there are so many spelling and grammatical errors. Oh and let's not forget about 19/88 (a significant percentage) chapters just being announcements for other fics or polls for those fics. I think he started 3-4 other fics whilst writing this one and boy does it show. It feels like the uploads were rushed without a single proof read and it doesn't surprise me that it got dropped. I haven't read any of the other fics the author has posted pretty much because of the above reasons. If he treats this novel like that, who's to say the others won't be the same. I understand the author write fics just for fun, but the way he handled this was a disservice to the fic and themselves. A shame, really