303評論
4.39
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寫檢討
At first the writing was a little strange, but it became fine through the end. Unfortunately the author has left us with an incomplete "main character development", and that kinda leaves a bad after taste. Nothing useful to the story was used about other countries, only information dump. In short, it could be longer, it could be better.
Sorry for my English. (Google Translate) Good book, with problems with the rhythm but with an entertaining story. Pretty good character development and a decent expansion of the HP universe.
Reads like the MC diary, when communicating MC is always “correct”. So many sceans that could have been elaborated, e.g. could have milked situation of MC meating his birth parents e.g. MC could be petty and say things like: “Know you place Lucius” “lucky the Malfoy taint was removed, so that my true potential and talents could show” “I come from grate pedigree” First time I Hogwarts Draco could have confronted Max…..but nothing? Ch 14 had potential for more dialog with Draco, but the chatty, full of himself boy, just…walks away…nope not correct. First potion class, Snape should have recognised the MC (possible godson) more could have developed from this, considering MC conversation with Narcissa This novel has potential once more story is added.
Barely readable. Can't continue after ch 5 ............................................................... ...............................................................
Not worth the read. Confusing and rushed most of the time. Putting aside how it was wrote. The character from the beginning behave totally out of context Most of the dialogs are nonsensical and difficult to follow. I dropped at the beggining after 10/20 chapters I couldn’t keep going
Writing quality is good and it is decently readable minus a few of the MC's ranting about muggleborns situation. The number of chapters speak for themselves. The development is ok and it does progress a little bit, but over all it is quite bad. The character design is Horrible. He has horrible decision making ie: going to see Narcissa Malfoy for some dumb reason. He is unhealthy obsessed with narcissa and with trying to "fix" hermione granger. Also on the topic of hermione granger, the first person he sees he decides to make his "buddy" and basically was like 'oh i remember her, oh wait i used to hate her personality, lets fix her.' The character development is bad and is the reason i quit reading it. The background is harry potter, what do you expect? All in all There is a good story idea and the author is good at writing and updating, but is bad at story development and character design. I would recomend this Fanfic for those of you who are either young or just starting to read fanfic as you guy are less picky and would be able to enjoy it more. 4.2/10
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I read the entire thing in about four days, it was good but then the "if you want to finish today" started with what felt like half a story and about 40 ch. to go everything suddenly thrown to the wind as far as any character development went and the relationship that had been build over the span of the book was destroyed in about one and a half paragraphs. the author clearly lost interest and just tried to end the book somehow, kill the relationship, finish of the main antagonist far earlier then makes sens and just ignore the fact that his abilities are still not properly explained.
Overall, it was a good story, but this really felt incomplete, the ending sux.. . My chest feels uncomfortable, they don't even have to end up together, at least have him open up, like let go of then occlumency for a bit to break down and wash away all of it.
揭示劇透
Nice Nice Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice Good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice
揭示劇透
overall, it was a really good read with interesting plot topics that allowed for story development, but the ending was rushed, which was a bummer considering that the topics presented in the story could have further been expanded. that in the end was the only complaint I really had in comparison to some of other hp reads this was somewhat different but I enjoyed it so read it if you want to toddles.
one of the best Harry Potter fanfic that i have read. it's just sad that there are no epilog.
OMG the start is so cringe as something can be. the mc is so opcessed with that Malfoy family because they abandoned him and disregards hes adopted parents. and they are only mentioned by name ones or twice. why is he opcessed, he is a reincarnator it does not make sense that he is so opcessed with his new 'biological' family and are not just enjoying life with a adopted family that raised him
I like the story plot[img=recommend][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins]
dropped it at chapter 10 no need for a hero within a hero novel. just another idiot simping for Hermione off all the idiots..
i dont have many problems with it other than the fact that it is almost impossible to read the grammar is fxcked basically this would be perfect with an editor basically
Had fun solving the puzzle that is the grammar, though not that it's bad... Good work actually, considering it reminded me of the books themselves not the movies. Also reminded me of the book: The Columbus option by Richard Cox for some reason, despite the lack of similarities..
Una buena historia con una muy mal final. Cualquiera que lo haya leido de principio a fin habria esperado que terminara no con la historia del canon, sino con la historia del propio Max en sus interacciones con Hermione, Delphine y sus padres. Los problemas con su oclumancia, los desarrollos resultantes de la mezcla de la magia y la ciencia, los cambios introducidos por su incorporacion a la politica como Jefe de la Casa Black... Habia tantas posibilidades, y el escritor las abandono. Estoy bastante decepcionado, aunque aun la puntuo decentemente dado que lo verdaderamente escrito estuvo bien. Una pena.
Honestly, this story is worse than some MTL stories. The writing quality is really bad There are a lot of grammatical errors and there is no story flow it's hard to read and hard to understand. The story development is nonsensical and the dialogue between characters is so awkward. The MC itself is a badly written "Chinese Young Master" which is very dumb for someone that is in his second life. The world background is nonexistent since the author did not explain anything about the MC's view of the world and just use our prior knowledge about the canon version as a world background which is a really bad move for the story itself.
my head hurts trying to read this ........................................................................................................
It was an interesting read not like all the other fan fics,which is why it is good and interesting
The grammar In this story is frankly one of the worst I've seen in any fanfiction and the story pacing is horrible.It's clear the writer themselves isn't very good at english so why they continued to create something to unreadable in english is beyond me. The MC is pretty dumb and doesn't influence the story in any meaningful way. Another issue is that the writer themselves seemingly ignores the comments after each chapter because the writing never seems to improve as the story progresses. Each of the characters are OOC and the writer uses the same poor type of writing for each character so none of them have any sort of individuality or something that makes them stand out. overall a really disappointing read; I read about 60 chapters before I couldn't stand the terrible writing and left
Buena historia con algunos capítulos muy mal escritos ( o traducidos por lo cual no entendí nada ) pero una buena historia lastima el final tan a apurado no dejo claro que paso son hermañoni y la maestra,no entendí si se queda con alguna o ningún pero bueno estuvo bastante entretenida
At first the writing was a little strange, but it became fine through the end. Unfortunately the author has left us with an incomplete "main character development", and that kinda leaves a bad after taste. Nothing useful to the story was used about other countries, only information dump. In short, it could be longer, it could be better.
Sorry for my English. (Google Translate) Good book, with problems with the rhythm but with an entertaining story. Pretty good character development and a decent expansion of the HP universe.
Reads like the MC diary, when communicating MC is always “correct”. So many sceans that could have been elaborated, e.g. could have milked situation of MC meating his birth parents e.g. MC could be petty and say things like: “Know you place Lucius” “lucky the Malfoy taint was removed, so that my true potential and talents could show” “I come from grate pedigree” First time I Hogwarts Draco could have confronted Max…..but nothing? Ch 14 had potential for more dialog with Draco, but the chatty, full of himself boy, just…walks away…nope not correct. First potion class, Snape should have recognised the MC (possible godson) more could have developed from this, considering MC conversation with Narcissa This novel has potential once more story is added.
Barely readable. Can't continue after ch 5 ............................................................... ...............................................................
Not worth the read. Confusing and rushed most of the time. Putting aside how it was wrote. The character from the beginning behave totally out of context Most of the dialogs are nonsensical and difficult to follow. I dropped at the beggining after 10/20 chapters I couldn’t keep going
Writing quality is good and it is decently readable minus a few of the MC's ranting about muggleborns situation. The number of chapters speak for themselves. The development is ok and it does progress a little bit, but over all it is quite bad. The character design is Horrible. He has horrible decision making ie: going to see Narcissa Malfoy for some dumb reason. He is unhealthy obsessed with narcissa and with trying to "fix" hermione granger. Also on the topic of hermione granger, the first person he sees he decides to make his "buddy" and basically was like 'oh i remember her, oh wait i used to hate her personality, lets fix her.' The character development is bad and is the reason i quit reading it. The background is harry potter, what do you expect? All in all There is a good story idea and the author is good at writing and updating, but is bad at story development and character design. I would recomend this Fanfic for those of you who are either young or just starting to read fanfic as you guy are less picky and would be able to enjoy it more. 4.2/10
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I read the entire thing in about four days, it was good but then the "if you want to finish today" started with what felt like half a story and about 40 ch. to go everything suddenly thrown to the wind as far as any character development went and the relationship that had been build over the span of the book was destroyed in about one and a half paragraphs. the author clearly lost interest and just tried to end the book somehow, kill the relationship, finish of the main antagonist far earlier then makes sens and just ignore the fact that his abilities are still not properly explained.
Overall, it was a good story, but this really felt incomplete, the ending sux.. . My chest feels uncomfortable, they don't even have to end up together, at least have him open up, like let go of then occlumency for a bit to break down and wash away all of it.
揭示劇透 Nice Nice Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice Good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice
揭示劇透 overall, it was a really good read with interesting plot topics that allowed for story development, but the ending was rushed, which was a bummer considering that the topics presented in the story could have further been expanded. that in the end was the only complaint I really had in comparison to some of other hp reads this was somewhat different but I enjoyed it so read it if you want to toddles.
one of the best Harry Potter fanfic that i have read. it's just sad that there are no epilog.
OMG the start is so cringe as something can be. the mc is so opcessed with that Malfoy family because they abandoned him and disregards hes adopted parents. and they are only mentioned by name ones or twice. why is he opcessed, he is a reincarnator it does not make sense that he is so opcessed with his new 'biological' family and are not just enjoying life with a adopted family that raised him
I like the story plot[img=recommend][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins][img=coins]
dropped it at chapter 10 no need for a hero within a hero novel. just another idiot simping for Hermione off all the idiots..
i dont have many problems with it other than the fact that it is almost impossible to read the grammar is fxcked basically this would be perfect with an editor basically
Had fun solving the puzzle that is the grammar, though not that it's bad... Good work actually, considering it reminded me of the books themselves not the movies. Also reminded me of the book: The Columbus option by Richard Cox for some reason, despite the lack of similarities..
Una buena historia con una muy mal final. Cualquiera que lo haya leido de principio a fin habria esperado que terminara no con la historia del canon, sino con la historia del propio Max en sus interacciones con Hermione, Delphine y sus padres. Los problemas con su oclumancia, los desarrollos resultantes de la mezcla de la magia y la ciencia, los cambios introducidos por su incorporacion a la politica como Jefe de la Casa Black... Habia tantas posibilidades, y el escritor las abandono. Estoy bastante decepcionado, aunque aun la puntuo decentemente dado que lo verdaderamente escrito estuvo bien. Una pena.
Honestly, this story is worse than some MTL stories. The writing quality is really bad There are a lot of grammatical errors and there is no story flow it's hard to read and hard to understand. The story development is nonsensical and the dialogue between characters is so awkward. The MC itself is a badly written "Chinese Young Master" which is very dumb for someone that is in his second life. The world background is nonexistent since the author did not explain anything about the MC's view of the world and just use our prior knowledge about the canon version as a world background which is a really bad move for the story itself.
my head hurts trying to read this ........................................................................................................
It was an interesting read not like all the other fan fics,which is why it is good and interesting
The grammar In this story is frankly one of the worst I've seen in any fanfiction and the story pacing is horrible.It's clear the writer themselves isn't very good at english so why they continued to create something to unreadable in english is beyond me. The MC is pretty dumb and doesn't influence the story in any meaningful way. Another issue is that the writer themselves seemingly ignores the comments after each chapter because the writing never seems to improve as the story progresses. Each of the characters are OOC and the writer uses the same poor type of writing for each character so none of them have any sort of individuality or something that makes them stand out. overall a really disappointing read; I read about 60 chapters before I couldn't stand the terrible writing and left
Buena historia con algunos capítulos muy mal escritos ( o traducidos por lo cual no entendí nada ) pero una buena historia lastima el final tan a apurado no dejo claro que paso son hermañoni y la maestra,no entendí si se queda con alguna o ningún pero bueno estuvo bastante entretenida